Are average children

[Mrs.Toad]

Im not asking for "special" attention. Had you substituted a race, religion, even gender in the place of gifted, this thread would have probably been deleted.

Why is this class of people different?

Maybe because most people don't brag about their kid's race, religion or gender?

But if over the past several years, you had seen at least a post a day where someone mentioned their child's striking beauty, yes, it might have resulted in a thread asking if there were any average-looking children left or if they are all supermodel material, and I bet there would have been a lot of similar responses.

And frankly, if someone responded "you guys are being mean to gorgeous children", "you don't know how hard it is to parent a beauty when the average kids make fun of her looks", they would be getting the same responses you are, too. This isn't about your kid. Get over it.

I'm sorry your daughter has been bullied at school. My dd is not gifted, but merely smart, and she had a tough time in elementary school. Thankfully, now that she is in middle school, she is with a nice group of kids and doesn't have to interact with the bullies anymore. Yes, she sees them on the bus or at lunchtime, but she has learned to ignore them and stick with the nice kids she's met in her classes. We need to teach our kids that all their lives, they will have to deal with jerks, and they will always find something to tease a person for, whether it's their brains, weight, manner of speech, clothing, whatever. Learn to deal with it now, because it won't stop until the day you die. We cannot control other kids, we can only control our reaction to them.

Oh, and I've got the same comments from other parents, too. "your child is smart, what are you worried about?" Yea, it's a dumb comment, but I find I'm a much happier person if I brush it off, than if I dwell on it.

 

[marcyinPA]

I have complained all through her elementary years that it is the average kids like her who get the shaft. They are not at the top of the heap, they don't have special needs. As long as they behave properly, they are just left to float along.

This is actually one of my biggest complaints about our school district at the High School level. There are two groups: Honors/AP, and everyone else. My DS15 isn't in any honors classes. He's a bright kid, but he's not driven, and is satisfied just doing the minimum amount of work to get A's and B's. Honors would send him over the edge emotionally.

BUT, being grouped with "everyone else"...not good either. He's got kids in his classes who just don't give a crap. They cut class, skip school, curse at teachers, and basically don't want to be there. Teachers take instructional time away from the "average" kids dealing with the ones who disrupt. My college bound kid is getting less of an education because he didn't test into honors. In fact, honors kids in our high school get actual textbooks to take home with them. "Academic" kids...one set of classroom books to be shared by several classes. Fair? I think not.

I graduated from the same school district, but back in my day, we had Honors/AP, College Prep, and everyone else. Most of my friends were in college prep. I knew very few people in honors.

Now, because there is no college prep anymore, people are fighting to get their kids into honors when they don't really qualify. They don't pass the entry tests, but parents want their kids with kids who excel, not kids who are selling drugs on the corner after school. And I totally understand why, after hearing some of the things that my DS15 tells me that go on in his academic classes.

It's really a shame. Moving isn't an option for us, and neither is private school. We live where we can afford to live, and private school is not in our budget.

 

[Magpie]

This is actually one of my biggest complaints about our school district at the High School level. There are two groups: Honors/AP, and everyone else. My DS15 isn't in any honors classes. He's a bright kid, but he's not driven, and is satisfied just doing the minimum amount of work to get A's and B's. Honors would send him over the edge emotionally.

BUT, being grouped with "everyone else"...not good either. He's got kids in his classes who just don't give a crap. They cut class, skip school, curse at teachers, and basically don't want to be there. Teachers take instructional time away from the "average" kids dealing with the ones who disrupt. My college bound kid is getting less of an education because he didn't test into honors. In fact, honors kids in our high school get actual textbooks to take home with them. "Academic" kids...one set of classroom books to be shared by several classes. Fair? I think not.

I graduated from the same school district, but back in my day, we had Honors/AP, College Prep, and everyone else. Most of my friends were in college prep. I knew very few people in honors.

Now, because there is no college prep anymore, people are fighting to get their kids into honors when they don't really qualify. They don't pass the entry tests, but parents want their kids with kids excel. And I totally understand why, after hearing some of the things that my DS15 tells me that go on in his academic classes.

It's really a shame. Moving isn't an option for us, and neither is private school. We live where we can afford to live, and private school is not in our budget.

Man, textbooks? Really?

Okay, I think my high school daughter's getting shortchanged in her gifted (aka honors) classes... Not only have I NEVER seen a textbook, but she has the choice of either paying for her own workbooks or using scrap paper to do the assignments and returning them unmarked. Even when she was in a class for kids above the 99.8th percentile, they were still all getting photocopied pages from the teacher's ONE math text.

I'm clearly living the wrong school district.

 

[marcyinPA]

Man, textbooks? Really?

Okay, I think my high school daughter's getting shortchanged in her gifted (aka honors) classes... Not only have I NEVER seen a textbook, but she has the choice of either paying for her own workbooks or using scrap paper to do the assignments and returning them unmarked. Even when she was in a class for kids above the 99.8th percentile, they were still all getting photocopied pages from the teacher's ONE math text.

I'm clearly living the wrong school district.

Sounds like your district cut ALL THE WAY back, huh?

One of DS15's friends had honors history, DS had academic history. The friend had a history book. DS did not. I commented to the friend: "Wow, you get a book?" His comment: "Yeah, honors kids get them because we care more about school".

This isn't necessarily a school learned comment, but more likely a parent learned one, but still. There is a certain amount of superiority that comes from being in those classes, and it stinks. Just because DS15 isn't in honors, doesn't mean he doesn't care about school. Geesh.

 

[BellvilleDad]

This right here is what this thread is all about. It has nothing to do with "gifted" kids at all...it's all about the crazy parents who are apparently "gifted" by proxy.

QFT

 

[JerseyJanice]

I think our friend, dngnb8, is too new here to understand the context of the thread.

And he's gotten emotionally invested too quickly. He registered a week ago on 3/23/11 and has 240+ posts already. That's a lot of posts to rack up in a week. I doubt I posted that many times so far in 2011 and probably much less in many whole years that I've been a Disboards member.

He reminds me of a fun poster who was here last year, TestifyOnCruises. TOC racked up a ton of posts in a short amount of time too.

 

[Missy1961]

I think our friend, dngnb8, is too new here to understand the context of the thread.

And he's gotten emotionally invested too quickly. He registered a week ago on 3/23/11 and has 240+ posts already. That's a lot of posts to rack up in a week. I doubt I posted that many times so far in 2011 and probably much less in many whole years that I've been a Disboards member.

He reminds me of a fun poster who was here last year, TestifyOnCruises. TOC racked up a ton of posts in a short amount of time too.

Interesting......

 

[princesshannahsmom]

This thread is NUTS!

I don't normally want to get involved with threads like this, because they always go sour, but this one just got me!

For the poster whose child is being "bullied" because she is gifted, I can't agree with your posts, because I do feel as though you are making something out of nothing so to speak, in regards to this particular post, but I can agree that it is not acceptable for a child to be "bullied" for any reason whatsoever. I cannot imagine a child being "bullied" for being gifted, I certainly haven't seen it in our schools, but I also can't imagine doing NOTHING about it if it happened.

DD does not "flaunt" being in the gifted program, nor do I, she isn't the child that corrects people, adults or otherwise (she might have a red hiney if she did that), but kids DO just know. We recently moved to a new neighborhood and a few of the children commented that they "knew" her because she was in the "smart" class. Not one of these children made fun of her, or bullied or, or for that matter, did they even mention it again, other than to comment on how much they see her sitting on the swing, reading.....constantly!! To turn the tables, I better not EVER find out that DD made fun of any other children, smarter than her, less smart than her, or for any other reason. I say all of that to say this, if the PP's daughter is being "bullied" that much, that it is affecting their daily lives, then more needs to be done to correct the issue. Perhaps the bullys parents don't know what their child is doing, perhaps they are repeat offenders, but someone needs to bring it to the child's attention, so the problem can be corrected. Seriously, children are having serious issues, including committing suicide because of bullying for other reasons, I can't see the school not taking such bullying VERY seriously. On the other hand, I do agree with other posters, sometimes we need to have a tough skin because being made fun of will happen until the day you die. Sometimes we just have to let things roll off our backs.

 

[Alyssa88]

If youre child is in that "average" group of the 80%, the whole education system is designed FOR YOUR CHILD.

So youre saying, my child should just be ignored because she doesnt fit in the 80%? Got it

Nothing like getting a whole system for you kid and thinking it isnt enough.

The whole system is not designed for average children. It is only really designed to small fraction of children who are visual or auditory learners. Most children are otherwise or have a mixed learning style. I had a high IQ (by now it has most likely mediated towards the norm, like most advanced kids) but because I was already a year younger than my peers and struggled enough socially (not because I was a little advanced for my age and kid's teased- I was, and still am, socially challenged, lol) I was not pulled into the gifted program. I was in average classes with other average students. I did well but I was hardly engaged, as most students weren't. In fourth grade I had an AMAZING teacher (actually her and her retired teacher husband taught the class) and that was the first time I felt a part of my learning experience. Instead of reading about different countries from a book, we had a mini world's fair. She was always looking for different ways to engage her students. Some things worked for some kids better then other things, but everyone shined because everyone hed the chance to. She saw an opportunity for each student, or would find multiple ways to teach on topic.

If every student could have an IEP, every student would be able to learn in their style. It is not just gifted children who learn differently, everyone does! In fact, I have never heard about gifted children being wired to learn differently, in a way other than how all people learn differently. I must research this, off to pull up some articles!

 

[MissUndastood]

No one is picking on the kids themselves. Or the parents of kids that are truly gifted. It's the very loose application of the term by parents to kids that are most likely not gifted that is pretty funny.

This

 

[christymarie]

Wait a minute, something is very wrong here. Gifted children DO NOT get IEPs. Children who have a deficiency get IEPs. If a child has an IEP it is because there is a need for individual education to bring them up to the level of their peers.

There is more to this story and I believe this poster is playing both side of the fence.

 

[Feralpeg]

Thanks people. I now feel guilty for even bothering to mention my kids on the dis boards or mentioning the things they do that make me proud to be a parent.

I've never identified my children as gifted, but I can sure tell you I'd never call them *average* either.

There have been some strange justifications on this topic. Don't tell children they are gifted or they will decide they are above the law and end up in prison in a foreign country. Don't label your child as gifted because they aren't as gifted as my child and you are diluting the word.

Wow, people, really?

Help your children excel at what they are good at. Help them learn what they struggle with. Teach them the value of right versus wrong. Lead by example in being good people. Make them feel loved and valued no matter their skills.

Oh, and get over it. In the long run, no one is going to change anyone else's opinion and being nasty over the internet is petty and childish.

No where on this thread has anyone mentioned that people should not post about the accomplishments of their children or not indicate their pride of their children. Perhaps, it would be helpful to just mention what our children accomplish or why we are proud of them rather than label them in some way.

I am very proud of my daughter and will continue to post her accomplishments. I will never label her because she is an individual with her own type of special as well as her own faults. I am just happy that she's mine! I will continue to share my happiness with my friends on the DIS because they have always seemed interested in what happens to me and my daughter. Anyone who doesn't care, does not have to read my threads.

 

[Alyssa88]

Wait a minute, something is very wrong here. Gifted children DO NOT get IEPs. Children who have a deficiency get IEPs. If a child has an IEP it is because there is a need for individual education to bring them up to the level of their peers.

There is more to this story and I believe this poster is playing both side of the fence.

Actually, in my school district gifted children did get IEPs, as they were considered special needs. I just assumed it was like that everywhere, but perhaps not.

I still stand by my notion that every child deserves to have an individualized education plan that caters to their style of learning.

 

[christymarie]

Wow, I had no idea. I was told that if the IEP was only for delayed children and they were not allowed to do any goals pertaining to advancing their education beyond what is grade appropriate.

I humbly apologize. As you can see, I was an average student.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Wow, I had no idea. I was told that if the IEP was only for delayed children and they were not allowed to do any goals pertaining to advancing their education beyond what is grade appropriate.

I humbly apologize. As you can see, I was an average student.

This is how it is in our district. Delayed kids get IEPs, advanced kids get ALPs (Advanced Learning Plan). I thought it was odd that dngnb8 used that acromym too, but didn't want to say anything.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Wow, I had no idea. I was told that if the IEP was only for delayed children and they were not allowed to do any goals pertaining to advancing their education beyond what is grade appropriate.

I humbly apologize. As you can see, I was an average student.

My son has an IEP and he was identified as learning disabled in reading and writing. He's only allowed to have extra help in writing, though, since his reading is on grade level.

Kids with IEPs can have them for medical reasons, behavioral reasons, and academic reasons. They can have them if they are gifted, but have a learning disability.

 

[mousebymarriage]

I have 2 kids, DD14 and DS9.
DD14 is extremely smart and is considered gifted by school standards and standarized tests given by the school. DD14 attends an advanced high school (it's a public high school but, the students that attend must take entrance exams, have excellent grades, excellent standardized state test scores and do well on their personal interview before they are accepted. Only 266 students were accepted from 1500 applicants). She has been a straight A student since she started school. School has always been very easy for her (even advanced classes and Gifted & Talented) and she has never had to really "work" for her grades.

DS9 is a smart child but, is considered "average". He is an A-B student but, does have to work for some of those grades (reading comprehension is his weak point). His standarized test grades are considered average, and he tests at his grade level. However, he is an excellent athlete. I tell him that not everyone can excel in everything and as long as he gives 100% in whatever he does then he can be proud of the outcome whatever it may be.

 

[LisaR]

I have 2 kids, DD14 and DS9.
DD14 is extremely smart and is considered gifted by school standards and standarized tests given by the school. DD14 attends an advanced high school (it's a public high school but, the students that attend must take entrance exams, have excellent grades, excellent standardized state test scores and do well on their personal interview before they are accepted. Only 266 students were accepted from 1500 applicants). She has been a straight A student since she started school. School has always been very easy for her (even advanced classes and Gifted & Talented) and she has never had to really "work" for her grades.

DS9 is a smart child but, is considered "average". He is an A-B student but, does have to work for some of those grades (reading comprehension is his weak point). His standarized test grades are considered average, and he tests at his grade level. However, he is an excellent athlete. I tell him that not everyone can excel in everything and as long as he gives 100% in whatever he does then he can be proud of the outcome whatever it may be.

Out of curiosity, does the school have those same requirements for siblings? We looked at two high schools in our area that had rigorous entrance exams but were dismayed to learn that siblings of those that were admitted did not have to go through the same exams. They did have to maintain a certain GPA and standardized test scores but I really think that lowers the standards of the school.

 

[mousebymarriage]

Out of curiosity, does the school have those same requirements for siblings? We looked at two high schools in our area that had rigorous entrance exams but were dismayed to learn that siblings of those that were admitted did not have to go through the same exams. They did have to maintain a certain GPA and standardized test scores but I really think that lowers the standards of the school.

The school policy states that each child is admitted based on their grades and test scores and that siblings do not get special treatment. For example one of DD's friends is in 9th grade (same as DD) and has an older brother that is a senior. DD's friend had to go through the exact same application process as DD. There are students at the school that have younger siblings that were not accepted.

 

[Planogirl]

I heard that this thread had gotten better and it appears to be true.

I see some saying that all kids should have IEP's but that just isn't feasible. With schools slashing staff to the bare minimum, I would think that those average kids without any special accomodations will likely get less and less individualized attention. It's sad but the schools can only do so much.