Are average children

[Elianor]

Thanks people. I now feel guilty for even bothering to mention my kids on the dis boards or mentioning the things they do that make me proud to be a parent.

I've never identified my children as gifted, but I can sure tell you I'd never call them *average* either.

There have been some strange justifications on this topic. Don't tell children they are gifted or they will decide they are above the law and end up in prison in a foreign country. Don't label your child as gifted because they aren't as gifted as my child and you are diluting the word.

Wow, people, really?

Help your children excel at what they are good at. Help them learn what they struggle with. Teach them the value of right versus wrong. Lead by example in being good people. Make them feel loved and valued no matter their skills.

Oh, and get over it. In the long run, no one is going to change anyone else's opinion and being nasty over the internet is petty and childish.

 

[SaraJayne]

Exactly what I said in another thread.

Oops, sorry! I swearz I didn't read it and copy you!

 

[dngnb8]

Wow, where the heck is that coming from?

Someone was saying I was being hypocritical because I was disrespecting people in a thread who were disrespecting people, while asking for people to be respectful. The statement is one of satire (since this thread is a satirical thread)

True, I was being a hypocrite, treating them as they treated others. But it went further then that. They are defending their treatment, their disrespect as if it is somehow okay because other people are constantly talking about their "special" children. The thread carries a tone of resentment to it. I merely pointed it out with all the care of a Bull in a china shop. Im not very subtle Im afraid.

Hypocrisy is a pet peeve and I commented that if this is my personal hypocrisy, then I am okay with it.

Essentially, if she isnt a hypocrite, then she must believe in teaching her children to be mean. Thus, the above statement you quote was one satirical in nature.

Perhaps you need to go to your child's school and talk with the guidance department, to see how this should be handled. If you feel your child is being teased, or bullied because she is smart, enough so that it really bothers her, perhaps they can help you help her. Perhaps your DD needs to try to hang close with her friends, so the teasing will have less affect on her. We've had our fair share of smarties in our family, and like I said, my son was in the g & t program, but it really wouldn't have bothered him if kids said the things you say are bothering your daughter (and maybe they did, and he just never talked about it). My grandson is prob considered a nerd, but he doesn't care (we have laughed about it with him). He's got good friends, and those are the only people whose opinions matter to him.

Been there. Because its always after the fact, the school doesnt have the "proof" to pull a kid aside and address it directly. They do the general meeting on respect etc, but the kids who typically are mean like this, dont care about the meetings.

My daughter has the friends, but you cant insulate yourself 100% in a public school.

As my first post indicated, I know where those kids get that attitude now.

 

[dngnb8]

I disagree. It's all about slapping labels on, because Mommy and Daddy typically demand one.

Wow, just wow. I think its more about other mommies and daddies who resent the other kids.

I can play that game too.

 

[dngnb8]

Now we're talking about "gifted families"? What is a "gifted family"?!?!

This is a family unit with a gifted child.

 

[RabbitFood]

True, I was being a hypocrite, treating them as they treated others. But it went further then that. They are defending their treatment, their disrespect as if it is somehow okay because other people are constantly talking about their "special" children. The thread carries a tone of resentment to it. I merely pointed it out with all the care of a Bull in a china shop. Im not very subtle Im afraid.

Essentially, if she isnt a hypocrite, then she must believe in teaching her children to be mean.

As my first post indicated, I know where those kids get that attitude now.

Would you kindly quote the post(s) to illustrate your above comments? Thank you.

 

[SaraJayne]

Wow, just wow. I think its more about other mommies and daddies who resent the other kids.

I can play that game too.

Why in the world would I resent a "gifted" child? I am perfectly happy with and proud of my "average normal" kids.

I'm guessing you're giving your DD the impression she is somehow "better than" the other kids in school. That could be why she's picked on. Kids pick up on a superior attitude pretty quickly.

 

[DMRick]

I've not figured out where that is..unless, do you mean yourself?

I've not seen anyone else suggest anyone be mean or nasty to a G & T child, or seen anyone post anything that would make their own children think it's ok to bully.

As my first post indicated, I know where those kids get that attitude now.

 

[Guy Incognito]

It seems to me that the problem may be a feeling of superiority coming from atleast one parent here that is contributing to the child being picked on. I wouldn't be surprised at all if the child picked up on this as well over the years and her peers realize this too.

Like someone said earlier (concerning their own child I believe), who is the common denominator in all these situations? Usually the perpetual victim isn't 100% innocent.

how does that line go..... "The only constant in all of your dysfunctional relationships is you"


to follow up on the 'messages to' the different kid groups....


message to all kids:

Life isn't fair. In the real world, there is no 'everyone gets a trophy' day. You don't get rewarded for just participating. No matter how smart/talented you are, there will always be someone who is smarter/faster/stronger/etc than you. Greatest tip you will probably ever receive: Grow a thick skin. Looking forward to getting out of school, away from the cliques? Notice how most kids gravitate towards other kids who think like they do, and pick on those who are different? Get used to it. It's not a kid thing, it's a human thing. Humans gather with others who think like they do and reinforce their ideals. Humans fear things/people that are different from them. When humans gather in groups, the overall intelligence level of the group decreases (for you math people: the intelligence level of a crowd is inversely proportional to the number of people in it), and thus, they tend to do/say things they wouldn't dare if alone. Of course, there are people who are exceptions to these 'rules'. Be one of them.

 

[MissUndastood]

Why in the world would I resent a "gifted" child? I am perfectly happy with and proud of my "average normal" kids.

I'm guessing you're giving your DD the impression she is somehow "better than" the other kids in school. That could be why she's picked on. Kids pick up on a superior attitude pretty quickly.

Very well said.

With the attitude of that parent, you can only feel sorry for the child.

 

[dngnb8]

Sometimes, it really does help to take a breather and go back and read your own posts. I know I have gotten carried away on some posts and I have to take a step back and really look hard at myself and see if I was taking things too personally.

You wont be offended if I laugh at the irony of your statement will you? Seriously, im not flaming you here.

What I see atm, is a group of people essentially arguing to be able to make fun of other people on this board with the excuse that their kids are average. Really?

Is it wonder why the kids in school do it? And they get punished for doing it! Yet here, Im a villain because I call them on what kids get punished for. How dare I raise the issue that theyre being mean to others for no good reason!

Im sorry, I just have to laugh.... And yes, I am laughing.

 

[Alyssa88]

Who said I didnt grasp the satire. I have on numerous occasions in this thread called the thread "satire"? Or are you to dense to understand what I posted?



This would take some time, but simplified, kids who exhibit what most call giftedness, learn differently. I tried to show that in the post using piston and rotary engines. its not a simple concept to convey, except to say, their process of learning is not like most peoples.

Of course not, every child learns differently. But a child who will not attempt to access information is simply lazy. I definitely understand that all people (gifted or not) learn differently. As a kinistetic learner I needed to act something or physically make a connection between two things in order to learn. My study sessions were very "hands on". Gifted children are also capable of learning pertaining to their style. At least the ones I saw tested at the developmental psych lab I interned certainly were.

Everybody is wired to learn differently and most classrooms are not suitable for most children (although I have had many great teachers who understood different learning styles and helped adapt their lessons to the kids). I honestly believe that all children should have an IEP, not just those who are gifted or delayed. The different learning styles of "average" children get over looked.


Anyway, all of this is besides the point. This thread is about those parents who bolster about how gifted their children are, when discussing a topic completely unrelated. Everyone on the internet (omg, facebook may be the worse!!) thinks there child is a special- it is refreshing to hear about average kids, they are certainly rare nowadays.

 

[Planogirl]

Thanks people. I now feel guilty for even bothering to mention my kids on the dis boards or mentioning the things they do that make me proud to be a parent.

I've never identified my children as gifted, but I can sure tell you I'd never call them *average* either.

There have been some strange justifications on this topic. Don't tell children they are gifted or they will decide they are above the law and end up in prison in a foreign country. Don't label your child as gifted because they aren't as gifted as my child and you are diluting the word.

Wow, people, really?

Help your children excel at what they are good at. Help them learn what they struggle with. Teach them the value of right versus wrong. Lead by example in being good people. Make them feel loved and valued no matter their skills.

Oh, and get over it. In the long run, no one is going to change anyone else's opinion and being nasty over the internet is petty and childish.

We aren't supposed to talk about the great things our kids do? Ugh, I somehow missed that. I don't understand why that's wrong?

I think that I'll back away from this thread. It's a wonder that it isn't closed yet.

 

[dngnb8]

Why in the world would I resent a "gifted" child? I am perfectly happy with and proud of my "average normal" kids.

Because they get treatment an otherwise "average" child wouldnt get. Why should they get something that an average child doesnt get!

I'm guessing you're giving your DD the impression she is somehow "better than" the other kids in school. That could be why she's picked on. Kids pick up on a superior attitude pretty quickly.

You would be guessing wrong, but Im not surprised. Many of you have "guessed" wrong simply to assuage the ability to have a thread that makes fun of others.

Its called Rationalizing.

 

[RabbitFood]

What I see atm, is a group of people essentially arguing to be able to make fun of other people on this board with the excuse that their kids are average. Really?

Again, would you kindly reference the posts that illustrate this? Thank you!

 

[tmarquez]

Now we're talking about "gifted families"? What is a "gifted family"?!?!

This is a family unit with a gifted child.

This right here is what this thread is all about. It has nothing to do with "gifted" kids at all...it's all about the crazy parents who are apparently "gifted" by proxy.

 

[LisaR]

You wont be offended if I laugh at the irony of your statement will you? Seriously, im not flaming you here.

What I see atm, is a group of people essentially arguing to be able to make fun of other people on this board with the excuse that their kids are average. Really?

Is it wonder why the kids in school do it? And they get punished for doing it! Yet here, Im a villain because I call them on what kids get punished for. How dare I raise the issue that theyre being mean to others for no good reason!

Im sorry, I just have to laugh.... And yes, I am laughing.

Feel free to laugh but as the parent of a "gifted" child, I don't see it. I have not read one post that has offended me except yours. I have not read one post where someone has made fun of gifted children. I have read yours and I have seen an argumentative individual that is reading way more into these posts than anyone else. That speaks volumes about the treatment your daughter has received.

 

[DMRick]

Does your child have the same attitude that you have about other people? Does she have the same attitiude about the 'specialness' of being gifted? Do you not think that spills over in school to the other kids?
Maybe that has something to do with her being teased. Lots of people on the Dis have gifted kids (even just those who were told that by their schools), including myself, although I never saw it, and I've never seen anyone post that their child was teased because of it. Doesn't mean your child isn't, but I am begining to wonder just how often she is told that she is special?
Does her mom feel the same way that you do..that people are out to get your daughter because she is gifted?

 

[mickeyboat]

Does your child have the same attitude that you have about other people? Does she have the same attitiude about the 'specialness' of being gifted? Do you not think that spills over in school to the other kids?
Maybe that has something to do with her being teased. Lots of people on the Dis have gifted kids (even just those who were told that by their schools), including myself, although I never saw it, and I've never seen anyone post that their child was teased because of it. Doesn't mean your child isn't, but I am begining to wonder just how often she is told that she is special?
Does her mom feel the same way that you do..that people are out to get your daughter because she is gifted?

Yes.

I know a very bright child who never hesitates to tell other people they are wrong - fact or opinion. That is a real social turn off.

 

[dngnb8]

Of course not, every child learns differently. But a child who will not attempt to access information is simply lazy. I definitely understand that all people (gifted or not) learn differently. As a kinistetic learner I needed to act something or physically make a connection between two things in order to learn. My study sessions were very "hands on". Gifted children are also capable of learning pertaining to their style. At least the ones I saw tested at the developmental psych lab I interned certainly were.

Everybody is wired to learn differently and most classrooms are not suitable for most children (although I have had many great teachers who understood different learning styles and helped adapt their lessons to the kids). I honestly believe that all children should have an IEP, not just those who are gifted or delayed. The different learning styles of "average" children get over looked.

Anyway, all of this is besides the point. This thread is about those parents who bolster about how gifted their children are, when discussing a topic completely unrelated. Everyone on the internet (omg, facebook may be the worse!!) thinks there child is a special- it is refreshing to hear about average kids, they are certainly rare nowadays.

Sorry, i dont facebook, tweeter or do any social networking so I am not exposed to that.

My child does have an IEP. The issue is, there is a resentment that these kids get something different then the average kids.

Parent: Why cant my average child get 1 on 1 education too!

What they fail to consider is the Public Education System's education technique works for 80 to 90% of the kids. The problem is, there are children both challenged and gifted who do not learn based on that format. Hence you have your IEP which addresses a learning differential. These learned differentials arent wide spread, especially with budget issues. I personally have to drive 30 miles to get my child to a school that has a facility that addresses her learning needs.

The resentment stems from these kids getting "special" treatment. People have this perception that

"Youre childs gifted, what do you have to worry about?"

When they have no clue what we have to go through so they have an education that will equip them with the potential they can achieve.