Anyone else's public school student asked to sign a chastity pledge at school?

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't think there is anything wrong with teaching kids abstinance but I so think they need to present the facts for all scenarios. You wouldn't teach math and leave out half of the equation so you need to teach all of sex ed not just one part. My kids do not need to sign any pledges about their sexuality for some teacher. If and when they decide to be active it is none of any teacher's business and I don't want them to feel guilty because of some stupid class. You can teach your kids anything you want but eventually they will decide for themselves what they want. I want my kids to feel comfortable coming to me and not ashamed. Teaching only one thing is teaching morals. Teaching all the FACTS is teaching. The school should stick to teaching.

 

[missypie]

I personally don't want my child being one of those middle school girls who believes a boy who tells her that other acts that do not include sex are not really sexual acts because she'll still be a virgin.

"I did not have sex with that woman."

 

[sandy6879]

I think the only sex education 12 year old needs to be getting is abstinence.

I hear what you're saying and as a parent to my own child (11y/o), I agree that she needs to know that abstinence is what we expect at this time in her life (although she is getting the other information as it comes up in conversation). However, there are 12 year olds engaging in sexual activity in many areas of this country. They need to be educated as well. Maybe it needs to start earlier, I don't know for sure. But, I sure as heck don't want to hear about a 7th grader getting pregnant or getting an STD because they were never exposed to the education factor.

Unfortunately, there are younger and younger children engaging in sexual activity. It is something that is happening for a variety of reasons, but regardless what those reasons are, the kids need to have the information and access to it. I doubt very highly that any parent wants their child to engage in any activity at that age but it does happen.

I think what we are saying is that it needs to be taught from all aspects. Parents should be following up with their own morals and expectations at home but to only present one angle will not help the kids when they find themselves in a situation.

 

[KristaTX]

You may have already posted it, but what exactly did the pledge say?

 

[missypie]

I'm sorry OP but statistically, your daughter stands a very, very slim chance of making it to marriage without having sex - so she needs to know what to do if she does decide to have sex outside of marriage, and how to protect herself physically and emotionally.

Believe me, I have a few personal life lessons that I plan to share with my kids....but having such conversations with my 12 year old is way premature.

 

[Kath2003]

Believe me, I have a few personal life lessons that I plan to share with my kids....but having such conversations with my 12 year old is way premature.

Sorry MissyPie, I meant previous poster, the one I was quoting.

Besides, you don't need to worry about your DD, she already signed
I'm sure that when the time comes, every parent on this thread will have or has had the appropriate conversation with their child. But schools need to be there for the children of parents who don't.

 

[Passions71203]

But schools need to be there for the children of parents who don't.

Agreed!

 

[missypie]

It is difficult to find the "right time" for sex ed. In my opinion, my daughter is not ready for most of this, but I'm sure that there is some percentage of the population who ARE sexually active at 12 or 13, so the schools want to get in the info beforehand.

 

[chobie]

You may have already posted it, but what exactly did the pledge say?

I don't remember what my daughter's said exactly, but I know it siad something about staying chaste until marriage. I know for sure the word "marriage" in there.

What bothered me is that it is none of the school's business about what my daughter chooses or doesn't choose to do with her body.

 

[goofygirl]

I think chasity pledges in public schools are just fine, as long as religion and religious groups stay of it.

I don't see at as any different than pledging not to do drugs, or drink and drive.

 

[Faerie]

There are kids sexually active at 12 - When I was in 7th grade (what, 15 years ago?!?!) we had 2 kids pregnant. Another in 8th grade.

My mom gave me the "talk" in all it's glory when I was 10. It was part of a mom/daughter day and she was pretty frank with me. Of course when I was 10, my mom was the same age as I am now (eek!)

 

[daisax]

I think chasity pledges in public schools are just fine, as long as religion and religious groups stay of it.

Who else is behind it?

I don't see at as any different than pledging not to do drugs, or drink and drive.

Premarital sex is quite different from doing drugs and drinking and driving. And I don't think it's the place of the public schools to get children to pledge ANYTHING, except maybe a school honor code.

 

[KristaTX]

I don't see at as any different than pledging not to do drugs, or drink and drive.

The difference is that using drugs and driving drunk are against the law. Having sex before marriage is against certain spiritual teachings or other personal beliefs, but except for an occasional odd state or local law it isn't against governmental laws in the U.S. The school just doesn't seem like an appropriate place for kids to be pledging that since all people don't have those beliefs.

 

[chamonix]

The chastity pledge form SHOULD have come home along with the other homework/interview questions for the parents to discuss, fill out, sign, etc as they chose with their child. It SHOULD NOT have been signed at school. It should have been a homework sheet that stayed at home, signed or unsigned. Did they get credit for signing? What if they refused? (which I would have, even at that age)

If they can send sex ed homework to interview the parents, why not send the pledge at that time?

This makes me sick, I am against abstinence only sex "education" and think it's no business of the state to teach my child abstinence.

BTW, are only the straight kids being asked to refrain from sex before marriage, since same sex marriage is not legal in Texas?

 

[Pigeon]

It is difficult to find the "right time" for sex ed. In my opinion, my daughter is not ready for most of this, but I'm sure that there is some percentage of the population who ARE sexually active at 12 or 13, so the schools want to get in the info beforehand.

I don't find it difficult at all. We've been open about sex since the time the kids were really little, in an age appropriate way. It's not about finding just the right day to have "the talk." It's about having a series of ongoing conversations and jumping on the teachable moments.

There are a lot of life events my daughter isn't ready for. But that doesn't mean we don't teach her about them and provide her with sound information about them well before they become an issue.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

When the teachers collect these pledges where do they go? What if you don't sign? Do they put a note in your file?

 

[Passions71203]

Do they put a note in your file?

I hope not!

 

[gina2000]

At 11 my son was getting graphic lectures on sexual activity. He was going to middle school with 13/14 year olds. Who could tell what interesting initiations he might come across?

Truthfully I think a chastity pledge is a crock but that's me. Give kids the facts so that they can make an informed decision. They're going to make decisions regardless of what they know and certainly regardless of what you think you know. So let their decisions be informed and hope for the best.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I hope not!

Can you imagine what they would say?

"Watch out for this one! Hussy!!!!"

 

[Passions71203]

Can you imagine what they would say?

"Watch out for this one! Hussy!!!!"