Anyone else's public school student asked to sign a chastity pledge at school?

[va32h]

I would not want my child to sign such a pledge because that pledge does not reflect my values. I don't think a woman needs to stay chaste until marriage - and I certainly did not.

What I feel is that sex is an adult activity, for adults, because the consequences/ramifications of sexual activity are such that one needs to be an adult to deal with them.

 

[KristaTX]

The boys were part of this pledge signing as well, right?

 

[chobie]

The boys were part of this pledge signing as well, right?

Even if they are, we all know that the "staying pure" folks mean it more for girs than for boys. They don't have purity balls for boys do they?

http://www.abcnews.go.com/WNT/story?id=2928607

 

[yeartolate]

When the teachers collect these pledges where do they go? What if you don't sign? Do they put a note in your file?

It goes on your permanent record.

 

[jodifla]

When the teachers collect these pledges where do they go? What if you don't sign? Do they put a note in your file?

Interesting question, but of course, as a previous poster who lived through this kind of HORRIBLE experience explained, it's really just peer pressure and intimidation these folks are going for.

So be a SHEEP, and sign the pledge, and all is well. STAND UP FOR YOUR PRINCIPLES, and get a terrible reputation at your school.

Gotta love those "Christian" values!!! Seriously, it makes me sick.

 

[beattyfamily]

Gotta love those "Christian" values!!! Seriously, it makes me sick.

Um, you do know that there are non-Christians who believe in waiting till they are married, right? One of my best friends is Jewish and feels that way.

 

[goofygirl]

The difference is that using drugs and driving drunk are against the law. Having sex before marriage is against certain spiritual teachings or other personal beliefs, but except for an occasional odd state or local law it isn't against governmental laws in the U.S. The school just doesn't seem like an appropriate place for kids to be pledging that since all people don't have those beliefs.

Even so, I still do not see the harm in signing a chastity pledge in school. Who is it hurting? If they had such a pledge when I went to school, I would have signed it- not for religious reasons or anything, but because I would have thought staying chaste was a great idea.

In the long run, it does not matter anyway. I mean, do you remember everything you signed and filled out when you were in Junior High or High School? Neither does anyone else. Nobody is going to point to you years later and say, "Ha ha! You didn't keep the pledge!!"

 

[missypie]

Um, you do know that there are non-Christians who believe in waiting till they are married, right? One of my best friends is Jewish and feels that way.

I'm pretty sure that the observant Muslim kids are being taught at home to wait, too.

 

[Kath2003]

But what purpose does the pledge then serve?

At best, it's some names on pieces of paper which mean nothing.
At worst, it's a statement made by people who cannot possibly guarantee such a thing, without truly allowing them to make up their own minds about their feelings on the matter. There's no "alternative" pledge - it's chaste til marriage or nothing at all.

A 'respect' pledge I could totally go for - but I'd have the students write them themselves, and it would go beyond sex. It would be about respecting themselves and the rights, values and opinions of others, in friendship groups, relationships and at school.

According to yeartolate, it also goes on their permanent record

 

[jodifla]

Um, you do know that there are non-Christians who believe in waiting till they are married, right? One of my best friends is Jewish and feels that way.

Chastity is a fine value, in any religion.

Coercion is not. Giving out only a portion of the facts of reproduction (which, in my book, is pretty much lying) is not.

People who want to practice any religion should be free to do so -- in their homes. Not in a public school, or in any public government situation.

 

[jodifla]

I'm pretty sure that the observant Muslim kids are being taught at home to wait, too.

At home, good.

At school, bad.

Get it?

 

[missypie]

At home, good.

At school, bad.

Get it?

I agree.

 

[jodifla]

I agree.

Actually, let me apologize for my get it comment. It was inappropriate. Sorry!

 

[jodifla]

Even so, I still do not see the harm in signing a chastity pledge in school. Who is it hurting? If they had such a pledge when I went to school, I would have signed it- not for religious reasons or anything, but because I would have thought staying chaste was a great idea.

In the long run, it does not matter anyway. I mean, do you remember everything you signed and filled out when you were in Junior High or High School? Neither does anyone else. Nobody is going to point to you years later and say, "Ha ha! You didn't keep the pledge!!"

So, it's a meaningless stunt, and for whose benefit? Only the deluded adults who think it actually has some effect on kids' behaviour?

 

[smartestnumber5]

Even so, I still do not see the harm in signing a chastity pledge in school. Who is it hurting? If they had such a pledge when I went to school, I would have signed it- not for religious reasons or anything, but because I would have thought staying chaste was a great idea.

In the long run, it does not matter anyway. I mean, do you remember everything you signed and filled out when you were in Junior High or High School? Neither does anyone else. Nobody is going to point to you years later and say, "Ha ha! You didn't keep the pledge!!"

So essentially the kids should be asked to make a promise with no intention or expectation that they keep it? I prefer any kid of mine learn that they not make promises unless they full intend and are capable of keeping them.

If a chastity pledge isn't hurting anyone and is no big deal, then I suppose you wouldn't object to a school using peer pressure to coerce kids into signing an "unchastity" pledge as well right? Since I and others on this thread indicated that we might prefer our children NOT be chaste until marriage, there will be no objection to ALL the children in a public school being told how great it is to not be chaste on their wedding night and that they should pledge to have sex before then, right?

(Actually there was one poster on this thread who told a story about having been asked to sign one of these pledges. It clearly did hurt her because when she was one of the only students who refused to do so the rest of the class assumed she must be promiscuous.)

 

[missypie]

Yeah, I think school should pretty much be "just the facts, ma'm." Biology, STDs, pregnancy, condoms, etc.

A friend of my son's got involved with an "older man" last year...she was 14, he was 19. She was at the very top of her class in a very competitive high school. She has truly thrown everything away....grades, school, family, friends...to pursue a very active sexual relationship with this guy. (The parents knew they could report him to the police but chose not to.) There is a big lesson for kids to learn in this story about the power of sex....but if the school district wanted to get into this, perhaps a psychologist/counselor should be teaching it....not the PE teacher/coach!

 

[Pigeon]

So, it's a meaningless stunt, and for whose benefit? Only the deluded adults who think it actually has some effect on kids' behaviour?

Yup. We don't let our kids sign any of the "contracts" the school tries to foist on them, whether they are about sex, television or doing homework. We have a standard letter we send back explaining the worthlessness and inappropriateness of the contracts. We've not heard a peep from the school.

 

[KristaTX]

People who want to practice any religion should be free to do so -- in their homes. Not in a public school, or in any public government situation.

Individual people are free to speak of or practice their religion on any public property and also any private property that condones it. For instance, students can have "see you at the pole" meetings or talk about religion all they want as long as it is not hateful towards others, the staff can have prayer breakfasts together, etc., as long as it is optional and not initiated or advertised by the institution. It is the actual institution or a person who is at that given moment serving in an official, authoritative role within the institution who are not free to do so. At least that is my understanding.

Also, when being spoken of in a historical or traditional sense (which can be VERY broadly interpreted) it is also commonly allowed. That might include, for instance, studying a religious piece of writing for the literature of it, or performing historical or traditional songs or even entire musicals/plays that are related to a certain religion (e.g. Christmas songs). Could it be fought if someone were against it? Probably. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not. It depends on the situation, the individual school, etc. The mascot in my hometown was the Demons, and certain people fought that forever without success. Most of the locals weren't against it (including me), even though in retrospect I do find it kind an odd choice.

But in most of these cases, it is no big deal to people because nothing is being asked of the audience, pledges aren't being signed, etc. The pledges is what I think most people (religious or not) on this thread have a problem with.

 

[eclectics]

Individual people are free to speak of or practice their religion on any public property and also any private property that condones it. For instance, students can have "see you at the pole" meetings or talk about religion all they want as long as it is not hateful towards others, the staff can have prayer breakfasts together, etc., as long as it is optional and not initiated or advertised by the institution. It is the actual institution or a person who is at that given moment serving in an official, authoritative role within the institution who are not free to do so. At least that is my understanding.

I have to wonder how far these religious examples would be tolerated if any of the venues you mentioned happened to be non-Christian.

 

[missypie]

I have to wonder how far these religious examples would be tolerated if any of the venues you mentioned happened to be non-Christian.

I try to make this point to evangelical friends and acquaintances of mine who want prayer in public schools, etc....If their kids went to a muslim-majority public school, would those prayers in school be just fine with them?