Anyone else's public school student asked to sign a chastity pledge at school?

[aprilgail2]

I think children should wait to have sex until they are adults, not until marriage. I don't expect them to wait until then.

I agree!! I would certainly want my daughter ot be sure she is sexually compatable with the person before she marries them! I don't want her signing any type of pledge just because the school tells her to.


We used to have the DARE program in our schools here but they found it was not effective at all and stopped it in our whole county!

 

[Pigeon]

I We used to have the DARE program in our schools here but they found it was not effective at all and stopped it in our whole county!

That's great! Can I ask what county? I'm in Albany county, and am trying to convince the local administration of how useless it is. It would be good to be able to tell her that other NY counties are dropping it.

 

[declansdad]

Not singling out Texas, but I read one of the reasons evangelical Christians have a high divorce rate is that quite a lot of couples married very early because of wanting to keep their pledge of abstinence before marriage. They married to have sex and then later decided they really weren't a good life match. Not judging anything, it's just something I read.

Interesting stat.

 

[declansdad]

Well, I believe that ethical teachers are willing to be a voice of reason and advocacy for children. In a democracy there is room for reasonable discussion ahead of time, particularly when the issue (coerced group pledges), could certainly precipitate a lawsuit.

Not sure that I would say that this is unethical or coerced. That is a matter of opinion.

If the curriculum has been approved, the teacher may still voice their dissent but they would be bound to teach it by the terms of their employment.

 

[declansdad]

Nothing wrong with abstinence, if that's your choice, but if it isn't, be prepared and educated. I see nothing wrong with a public school teaching abstinence as part of their program. Abstinence until they reach adulthood, that is. Teaching abstinence until marriage can't be more wrong in a public school atmosphere, imho.

 

[declansdad]

How does that even work?
What do you think about? Geometry?

OOOOO that isocles triangle is hot!!!

 

[KristaTX]

I've worked in several north Texas school districts as a nurse, and I just have to ask what district are you in?? I can't imagine any of the ones I've worked in doing a program like this. And if they had done so when I was there, I would have been against it if it actually involved signing pledges . And to have the PE teachers teaching it is really weird. Reminds me of a Wonder Years episode.

I think that is very true. I know four terrific young ladies who graduated from college last spring. The two who went to large state universities are now in grad school. The two who went to ultra-conservative Christian colleges were married within a month of graduation.

A month after high school graduation or a month after college graduation? None of the four girls sound like they have necessarily made wiser or better decisions than the others, or that the latter married just so they could have sex. That is probably not what you are meaning to say, though. It reminds me of that Julia Roberts movie Mona Lisa Smile, where one of the girls (Julia Stiles) with lots of academic potential decides that marriage is for the time-being more important to her than graduate school. Nothing is wrong with either choice as long as it is what the person wants.

 

[jamimb]

I personally dont see what all the fuss is about. So what the schools want kids to try to stay sexually pure until marriage. Why is that such a horrible thing? There is alot of things involved in sex (physical and emotional) and its not a thing for KIDS to be taking lightly! Both myself and my husband waited until we were married and we have absolutely no regrets! Its really nice to know that we are the only people that we have been with. No worrying about STD's or pregnancy or anything else. I think its a good thing to encourage. Besides whether they sign it or not it probably wont make that much of a difference in their decision to wait ot not!

 

[Papa Deuce]

Well, my kids are too young, but I don't think I want the school asking them to do this anyway. It is MY resposibility to worry about this and handle this.

 

[ducklite]

I personally dont see what all the fuss is about. So what the schools want kids to try to stay sexually pure until marriage. Why is that such a horrible thing? There is alot of things involved in sex (physical and emotional) and its not a thing for KIDS to be taking lightly! Both myself and my husband waited until we were married and we have absolutely no regrets! Its really nice to know that we are the only people that we have been with. No worrying about STD's or pregnancy or anything else. I think its a good thing to encourage. Besides whether they sign it or not it probably wont make that much of a difference in their decision to wait ot not!

The problem is that some people with your opinion are trying to force their doctrine on everyone across the board, even though not everyone feels the same way you do.

You did what you felt was best for you, but not everyone feels it is best for them--or even their children.

I think that we need to respect each others viewpoints, and no one should feel obligated to sign a piece of paper that they don't agree with.

I would rather see a curriculum that promotes abstinence as the best form of birth control, but also teaches the various methods of birth control for those who don't choose to abstain. It's completely unrealistic to expect 100% abstinence from all teenagers, and we need to empower them with knowledge so they can avoid STD's and unwanted pregnancy.

 

[aprilgail2]

That's great! Can I ask what county? I'm in Albany county, and am trying to convince the local administration of how useless it is. It would be good to be able to tell her that other NY counties are dropping it.

Suffolk

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well for one thing I don't agree with the "chasity pledge" so I would not have her sign it based upon that.

Being "chasted" until marriage...uh, don't think so.

 

[chobie]

I think children should wait to have sex until they are adults, not until marriage. I don't expect them to wait until then.

I agree. I not only don't expect that, I don't think waiting until marriage is that great of an idea -you should know that you are sexually compatible before committing to a life time w/ someone.

 

[scottishduffy]

Oooohh. I remember being asked to sign a chastity pledge at my private school when I was 17. Although I was a virgin at the time I refused to sign it, my thought process was "Heck... I may be chaste now but if given the opportunity with someone i truly liked I would probably do it." The other girl who decided to not sign the pledge and myself were immediately dubbed to immoral skanks by the rest of our class.

The teacher handed out the pledge to every girl in the class (our classes were divided by gender) and we were all asked to sign at once. So everyone knew the two who didn't sign when the teacher came by to pick them up mentioned they were blank. The teacher even invited me to stay after class to discuss my 'faith'... I passed on that.

That is what i get for being a realist. Dubbed immoral by my teacher and dubbed a skank by my classmates. Yeah, I lost credit on THAT assignment. I was too stubborn to give in and sign it though.

 

[maelstrom]

I think asking *anyone* to sign a chastity pledge is disgusting, aside from being ineffective. They had the DARE program in my elementary school and I'm sure that at some point we all signed a pledge to stay drug-free. It didn't stop me from doing drugs when I was older. And when you're that age, the teacher tells you to do something, and you do it. These kids aren't thinking about what these pledges are really saying; they're just signing them because their teacher told them to. Abstinence-only education is equally disgusting. Abstinence is a fine *option*, but it isn't the only one. People need to be educated on sexual matters whether they choose to remain abstinent until marriage or not. How many teenage mothers do you hear say things like, "I didn't know I could get pregnant my first time" or "Nobody told me that I could get pregnant while on my period". We need to be teaching our kids these things. They need to know how their body parts work. They need to know what contraceptive methods are available to them, should they choose to use them. They need to know how STDs are contracted and what their symptoms are. There's nothing wrong with abstaining or waiting until marriage, if that's what you choose, but no one should make you feel badly if you choose not to wait. I'll be damned if my future children ever end up in a public school where they have such nonsense. I hope to be able to homeschool my future children, but if not, they will *not* partake of any sex ed or drug ed programs sponsored by the school.

 

[Kath2003]

I personally dont see what all the fuss is about. So what the schools want kids to try to stay sexually pure until marriage. Why is that such a horrible thing? There is alot of things involved in sex (physical and emotional) and its not a thing for KIDS to be taking lightly! Both myself and my husband waited until we were married and we have absolutely no regrets! Its really nice to know that we are the only people that we have been with. No worrying about STD's or pregnancy or anything else. I think its a good thing to encourage. Besides whether they sign it or not it probably wont make that much of a difference in their decision to wait ot not!

Because it's based on morals held by only some of the population, and is hugely ineffective and leaves your children uneducated and uninformed about having safe sex. Remember that, whilst many people believe in waiting until marriage, even fewer actually make it -so the majority of the kids who pass through the sex education program need to know about how to have sex and remain physically and emotionally healthy.

They too need to be able to be with a partner without worrying about STDs or pregnancy or anything else - I'm not married but my partner and I do not worry about either of those things, because we are educated, informed individuals who are able to make responsible choices about our sex lives.

Informing them that abstinance is the only 100% fail-safe way to avoid the emotional and physical dangers of sex is one thing, but children need to be taught that sex is a) not something reserved exclusively for one group of the population who are married, b) that some people don't believe it's necessary to wait until they are married to become sexually active and c) that there are other ways of keeping themselves safe if they do choose to be sexually active.

There's a whole world of sexual activity that goes on besides intercourse that carries with it as many dangers. Does promoting abstinance have a definitive line? Where do you stop - hand holding? Kissing? Anything involving parts exclusive to one gender?

 

[SadieDog]

Because it's based on morals held by only some of the population, and is hugely ineffective and leaves your children uneducated and uninformed about having safe sex. Remember that, whilst many people believe in waiting until marriage, even fewer actually make it -so the majority of the kids who pass through the sex education program need to know about how to have sex and remain physically and emotionally healthy.

They too need to be able to be with a partner without worrying about STDs or pregnancy or anything else - I'm not married but my partner and I do not worry about either of those things, because we are educated, informed individuals who are able to make responsible choices about our sex lives.

Informing them that abstinance is the only 100% fail-safe way to avoid the emotional and physical dangers of sex is one thing, but children need to be taught that sex is a) not something reserved exclusively for one group of the population who are married, b) that some people don't believe it's necessary to wait until they are married to become sexually active and c) that there are other ways of keeping themselves safe if they do choose to be sexually active.

There's a whole world of sexual activity that goes on besides intercourse that carries with it as many dangers. Does promoting abstinance have a definitive line? Where do you stop - hand holding? Kissing? Anything involving parts exclusive to one gender?

Thank you. You say everything I want to say, but better.

 

[chobie]

The bottomline is that sexuality is a deeply personal thing--it is certainly not the school's business.

 

[yeartolate]

Chastity pledge - hmmmm - nothing makes a teenaged boy happier than turning a bunch of teenaged girls into technical virgins.

 

[SandraVB79]

I have been to an all-girls Catholic school. When we were in our last year (everyone was around 17-18 yo), we had a full-day of "relation education".
During previous years, we had had sex ed during biology and such, but this was a full day out of school for the religion class.

The day consisted of people talking to us about everything, from the emotions that go with relations, over the theory of STD's and birth control and even practice? yes, practice. Catholic nun school let us girls practice how to use a condom (on wooden dummies). They had that "better safe than sorry" idea.
They never told us afterwards to go on the street and jump teh first guy to try it out. They had talked about abstinence. But also about what to do in case we felt it was time to have sex.



I hope my future kids will NOT wait until marriage before they have sex, but I hope they'll wait until they are adults.
Intimacy and sex are a huge part of a good relationship, they are important. I don't think you can commit to spend your life together with someone if you don't know whether you're compatible on this part (cfr. a previous poster's story about the fetish).


Another thing: as someone said before, the focus is usually on the traditional sex. Where I live, we are surrounded by Muslim people. yes, sometimes, drama happens whena father/ family finds out a girl isn't a virgin anymore. Doctors are getting more and more asked to restore girls' virginity.
And the kids get more and more diseases, because they practice other ways of sex. Since technically, it doesn't take the girl's virginity away, they think it's OK and safe. That isn't any different than traditional sex, it's just a technical difference, but emotionally/ morally, it's exactly the same!