Anyone else's public school student asked to sign a chastity pledge at school?

[smartestnumber5]

This is what I find as funny, a few weeks or so ago, there was post about a school somewhere that was giving birth control to I believe it was like 11-12 year olds, I bet you aganist teaching absteince, were aganist this as well, so what is left??

Nobody is against teaching abstinence. We're against teaching only abstinence.

It seems to me there is a huge middle ground between those. Teach all of the information about birth control/STD prevention/abstinence. Don't teach onlyabstinence. Don't give out prescriptions for the pill to 11 and 12 year olds. This is how it was done in my middle/high school.

 

[lilyv]

A very large middle ground where children are taught that abstinence is the only sure method to prevent pregnancy and disease, but if they chose to engage in sex, here are ways to protect themselves. And with a big encouragement to talk to a trusted parent or family member about birth control.

Exactly!

 

[eclectics]

Nobody is against teaching abstinence. We're against teaching only abstinence.

It seems to me there is a huge middle ground between those. Teach all of the information about birth control/STD prevention/abstinence. Don't teach onlyabstinence. Don't give out prescriptions for the pill to 11 and 12 year olds. This is how it was done in my middle/high school.

Nothing wrong with abstinence, if that's your choice, but if it isn't, be prepared and educated. I see nothing wrong with a public school teaching abstinence as part of their program. Abstinence until they reach adulthood, that is. Teaching abstinence until marriage can't be more wrong in a public school atmosphere, imho.

 

[themarquis]

Yes, and how is it fair to cater only to the wishes of these parents (and totally ignore the other parents, and the opinions of the teens who make up their own mind that sex before marriage is acceptable that programs such as this will affect)?

Teach your children what you want, but the school has a responsibility to make sure children grow up into well-educated, responsible, informed adults. Sex is a big part of adult life - it's doing these children a disservice to only present one half of the story, and to leave them so vulnerable and uninformed about the "untaught" side of the story.

There are also tons of people that feel that you should save sex for marriage But, we now know that people parent children in different ways.

This was exactly my point. Since there is no general consensus in the US about the moral status of sex outside marriage, public schools shouldn't be condemning it (or forcing kids to sign phony "pledges"), and NOR should they be promoting it. As much as I'll be promoting it with my own kids (i.e., by telling them they get to make their own choice about when they have sex), it's not the function of a public school to mirror my values. And it's not the function of a public school to mirror YOUR values, either. Sorry if you got that impression, somehow.

I would, however, argue, that it is the function of a public school to *educate* our kids by providing researched, verifiable, and neutral information about sexuality. In the exact same way they teach, say, physics or British lit or chemistry.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

There are also tons of people that feel that you should save sex for marriage But, we now know that people parent children in different ways.

Not so sure it is "tons" since the overwhelming majority of the population engage in intercourse before marriage.

Personally, I think it is the most bizarre thing to wait until marriage - yuck talk about no fun!

And since 50% of marriages end in divorce - what then? You ended up saving yourself for someone that you are NOT spending the rest of your life with??!!

 

[missypie]

It seems to me there is a huge middle ground between those. Teach all of the information about birth control/STD prevention/abstinence. Don't teach onlyabstinence. Don't give out prescriptions for the pill to 11 and 12 year olds. This is how it was done in my middle/high school.

In my experience, Texas schools aren't too into finding the middle ground.

 

[Passions71203]

Personally, I think it is the most bizarre thing to wait until marriage - yuck talk about no fun!

There are other ways to have fun that don't include sex..
If that is your only way of having fun I am glad that I did not date you...

 

[happygirl]

There are other ways to have fun that don't include sex..
If that is your only way of having fun I am glad that I did not date you...

ITA with Passions,

 

[salmoneous]

I bet you aganist teaching absteince,

As far as I know, nobody is against teaching absteince. Just teaching absteinence ONLY.

 

[ducklite]

If my (hypothetical) daughter wanted to sign a chastity pledge, I'd let her. If she wanted to refuse to sign a chastity pledge I'd support her. But the plain fact is that she shouldn't ever be asked to do it, especially by people in authoritative positions...like her teachers.

I agree with this statement 100%. I wonder what their teen pregnancy rate is?

The school my son went to supplied condoms and :::horrors::: actually told the kids how to use them during sex ed. Their pregnancy rate is zilch. Zip. Zero. Nada. Never.

 

[Free4Life11]

I wonder though if this would even pass for counting as "abstinence"? My guess is no because it seems to me that abstinence-only sex-ed is really more about imposing some people's conservative morals on kids, rather than trying to actually prevent STDs/teen pregnancy.

My mom used to buy me Christian sex ed books when I was a teen but I do remember one said that it's ok to **********, as long as you don't have "impure" thoughts while doing it. I kind of got a kick out of that

 

[Passions71203]

My mom used to buy me Christian sex ed books when I was a teen but I do remember one said that it's ok to **********, as long as you don't have "impure" thoughts while doing it. I kind of got a kick out of that

So then what are your going to be thinking about when you do "that"??

 

[Kath2003]

My mom used to buy me Christian sex ed books when I was a teen but I do remember one said that it's ok to **********, as long as you don't have "impure" thoughts while doing it. I kind of got a kick out of that

How does that even work?
What do you think about? Geometry?

I was once told by a church youth-group leader that it was always wrong for girls to **********, but it was okay for boys to do so because "it would happen in their sleep anyway". Um, yeah, some things aren't exclusively male....

 

[Passions71203]

How does that even work?
What do you think about? Geometry?

 

[WatchinCaptKangaroo]

Studies are beginning to show that abstinence only education is focusing on traditional sex. It is not preventing oral or the 'other' (not sure if I can say it here) sex. STDs are on the rise through these other methods of sex because the kids think they are still abstinent since they are not having 'traditional' sex.

 

[jax677]

I would rather my girls choose to experience life as they see fit. I can only show them all the sides, not force them to do it or not do it my way. In the end everyone will decide for themselves.

I don't think a child is ours to force our way. Our sex drive is a natural instinct. I for one want my girls to know I get how natural it is and how its okay to do, well, it, if they chose. My mom told us to make up our own minds and then drilled in our heads about safe choices.

I still can't understand the thought process of doing everything except the actual act and then still feeling like a virgin. To me, using those, ahem, parts is sex.

 

[Camicar]

I would tell my dd not to sign a chastity pledge handed to her by a public school teacher/administrator bec I view that as an unwelcome intrusion by an authority figure into her personal values.

It is clear that abstinence-only does not work. Texas is a prime example of the failure of abstinence-only education. It has one of the HIGHEST rate of teen pregnancy in the country.

Teen Pregnancy Rates per 1,000 Girls Aged 15-19, 2000
#5 in nation: Texas 101/1000

Prepared by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, February 2004. Source: The Alan Guttmacher Institute. (2004). U.S. teenage pregnancy statistics: Overall trends, trends by race and ethnicity and state-by-state information. Retrieved February 19, 2004, from www.guttmacher.org/pubs/state_pregnancy_trends.pdf.

I just read a report yesterday that 'evangelical Christian' teens delay having sex by 18 months, but then go on to be TWICE as likely to become pregnant because they do not use birth control. Using birth control is something that requires planning and a teen who has been taught that sex=bad refuses to admit that they plan to have sex (which is bad) and take comfort in the 'it just happened...' excuse. So they don't use birth control and get pregnant/STDs.

For another view on the Texas program and the intersection between public education/health and the insertion of religious values in public schools, one might find the dvd, "The Education of Shelby Knox," about Lubbock, TX, interesting.

They married to have sex and then later decided they really weren't a good life match.

That describes my parents and my ILs who would (and did) tell us that they got married to have sex. They thought they were in love, but they really were in lust. When you're inexperienced that is an easy mistake to make. Both marriages were miserable. I learned by watching my parents that just bec you want to sleep with someone doesn't mean you'll want to live with that someone. It's a very costly mistake to make and one, quite honestly, that I hope my dd doesn't make. I also hoped my sister didn't make that mistake bec she was hoping to be a virgin on her wedding night and when she took my advice to take the car out for a test drive, it turned out that her born-again, holier-than-thou, Mr. Values fiance was a S&M fetishist who expected her to be a "good Christian woman" and submit to his desires. And who, when she refused to be beaten, threw her into the bathroom and locked her in there for 2 days. As horrible as that was, luckily she found that out before their Caribbean honeymoon at an isolated resort. That too would have been a costly mistake.

 

[Buckalew11]

I would not be in favor of doing any type of pledge signing. Our shool, unlike public schools here, does not even participate in the DARE program.

I would prefer my DD not have sex before marriage but in the end she will make that choice for herself.

 

[Pigeon]

However, our Unitarian Universalist church teaches OWL ("Our Whole Lives") which is a sex-ed program that includes physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of sex. It is a program that is well regarded nationally, and Newsweek, when they did an article on teenage sex, mentioned that, statistically, fewer teens who take this program become pregnant then all others. That I look forward to my daughter taking.

My 10 year old is taking OWL now in our UU church. In our church they offer it two years, once in 5th and again in 7th grade. I think that's a very good idea, as kids understand this stuff at different levels.

OWL is awesome, just awesome. Dd comes home and asks lots of questions, so we've been talking about sex a lot. It's been a wonderful experience, and I'm pretty sure that she'll feel comfortable talking to me about sex in the future.

 

[Tink&SquirtsMom]

I just read a report yesterday that 'evangelical Christian' teens delay having sex by 18 months, but then go on to be TWICE as likely to become pregnant because they do not use birth control. Using birth control is something that requires planning and a teen who has been taught that sex=bad refuses to admit that they plan to have sex (which is bad) and take comfort in the 'it just happened...' excuse. So they don't use birth control and get pregnant/STDs.

These are the same statistics that were shared at a Christian conference on HIV that I attended a month or two ago. It's why,even as a Christian I do NOT support abstinence only education.