any tips- my 2 year old is freaking out about security

[meg8017]

Hi, flying to Disney in 3 weeks with our son who is 2, almost 3. He got a few books on going on an airplane to get him ready. Both are for little kids. One book mentions going through security and taking off your shoes. My son freaked out at this page! He was so upset at the thought of taking his shoes off! I am hoping that we can talk him down before we go but I am really worried about a total meltdown at security so I have a few questions. Has anyone else had a child afraid about this? what did you do to help them? Someone suggested we get him magic airport socks just for this, so I think we will try that. Also, if he is really hysterical, can I carry him through the detector or will they insist he walk? I don't want him traumatized at the start of our first family vacation. Other than this one issue, he is very excited to go on the big airplane! thanks!

 

[OKW Lover]

Children that age take their clues from how their parents act. When you go through security at the airport be sure to show them that you are confident and that there is nothing to worry about. Your child will follow your lead.

 

[kathie859]

That I would practice with him. I'd play "let's pretend" and talk about the whole experience starting with packing, going to the airport, parking, going into the terminal, checking baggage, going thru security, going to the gate, getting on the airplane, etc. Remember, too, that he'll take his clue from you so if YOU'RE anxious, he'll pick up on it.

Be sure to enlist his input for some favorite snacks and maybe a surprise or two to be pulled out on the plane if he becomes antsy.

Good luck....

 

[disneycruising]

Isn't it amazing what our children will find to be worried about. Has he said "why" this bothers him?

I have a DD(16) who has anxiety disorder. She is always worried about the wierdest things. I have learned to give her staight answers but never go into to many details. I would never, ever tell her why they need to scan your shoes. She would NEVER get on another plane!

I am a true believer that your kids will take there clues from you. I never ever show that I am nervious in anyway.

On the morning of the flight I would tell him we are going to check in, go thru security and then get on our plane. Tell him how excited you are to get on the plane because that is going to take you to WDW.

I would make sure you arrive in plenty of time to get throught security without being rushed. Also giving yourself enough time to get a treat (if needed) and to calmy get to your gate on the other side. For my DD stress makes her worse... everything has to be calm on flight day.

If you have another adult with you; one adult should be incharge of keeping your son "calm" and destracted. My DH is not good with this, so I always deal with my DD and her isssues, while he deals with everything else.

Make sure that his shoes are slip-ons or flip-flops. This make the taking them off and putting on as quick as possible. My kids always fly in crocs...easy on & off.

*If it was me: I would not talk to much about the whole 'security' issue. But turn it into a possitive thing. Maybe, as you reach 'security' if he look uncomfortable in anyway...you could destract him from what is going on. Point out other thing: someones toy, look to see if anyone around you has a dog in there bag (great distraction), count the kids in line, look for certain colors, anything you can do to keep his mind off of the process. I would also at the moment talk about what you are going to do when you get to the other side...maybe buy a candy bar for the plane ride or look for a snack for the flight.

You guys will be fine... once he goes through the process and see that it is not a scarey thing.

 

[buzzmom3]

My kids always bring one of their stuffed animals with them on the flight. We put them through the xray machine first, while the kids watch. It helps calm them down. I have also found security to be understanding with kids being a little nervous. He will probably be so excited, he won't care about the shoes.

 

[MusicMouse]

Our youngest DS is also 2. Practicing at home is a good suggestion. Children always feel better when they know what to expect. Once he sees that everybody is taking off their shoes, he will probably feel better. Also, I go through security first, then my DS5 and DS2, and finally my husband. If he can stand with Daddy and watch you go through, he will see that it is no big deal. They will make him walk through on his own (you can't carry him), but if he is walking from your husband to you it will be easier. Good luck!

 

[NHdisneylover]

I agree with otehrs that the most important thing here is that YOU are sending him cues that you are not nervous and this is no big deal. Part of this is not making much of an issue about it before hand (maybe reading books, etc has set him up to think it is a bigger deal than it is and has made him think he should be nervous).

One thought--does he understand that he will get his shoes back after just a couple of minutes? I remember when DS was 4 and waiting to have a cast put on his broken arm. He kept crying and crying that he did not want a cast. Eventually we realized he thought he would have the cast for the rest of his life. As soon as we told him it would come off in 8 weeks he was fine.

 

[shoes99]

You might try slip-off shoes like crocs or sandles with socks for the flight. With no shoe laces it might go faster ..

 

[meg8017]

thanks everyone for some great tips
He usually does take cues from us but some things he just gets upset about for no reason
We got the books so he would know what to expect, even though he's upset he'd be more upset by the whole thing if he didn't know. We just told him we are going last week and have been telling him how much fun it is. He is very excited to go on the plane. I am not that surprised that secuirty is upsetting to him, but I didn't think just the pics in the book would upset him, I figured he might melt down when we actually get there. I did tell him that all the people on the plane walk through without their shoes and it's just one minute and we'll put them right back on. We will definitely try practing and see if that helps. Also great distraction ideas, thanks, we'll be looking for doggies for sure and I will remind him that we can get special snacks on the other side. Oh, and crocs are a great idea too. Really, thanks again!

 

[ruadisneyfan2]

I agree with otehrs that the most important thing here is that YOU are sending him cues that you are not nervous and this is no big deal. Part of this is not making much of an issue about it before hand (maybe reading books, etc has set him up to think it is a bigger deal than it is and has made him think he should be nervous).

One thought--does he understand that he will get his shoes back after just a couple of minutes? I remember when DS was 4 and waiting to have a cast put on his broken arm. He kept crying and crying that he did not want a cast. Eventually we realized he thought he would have the cast for the rest of his life. As soon as we told him it would come off in 8 weeks he was fine.

I agree. I would drop the subject completely and when getting to the airport downplay the whole thing rather than saying, "OK. Now we're going to go through SECURITY." Makes it sound scarier than it is. I wouldn't use that word again. He may get through it just fine and not even know he went through security.

At 2, he shouldn't need a detailed explanation of every little thing. Maybe just say, "We can't wear shoes when we walk through this magic doorway so let's put them up here and we'll get them down here like at the grocery store."
I know at age 4 they had to walk through alone but I don't recall when ds was 18 mos old. We always have 1 adult go through first to be the 'catcher', then both kids, then last adult checks to make sure all of stuff is pushed into the xray machine.

I never even thought of reading books to them to 'prepare' them. We just did it and they'd do whatever we told them to.

 

[rantnnravin]

maybe a book, or a video like this one: http://www.amazon.com/Good-Little-Traveler-DVD-Toolkit/dp/B0009I860E/ref=tag_tdp_ptcn_edpp_url
or "practice" with stuffed animals, build a "fort" in the living room to emulate the security procedures, have a family member or friend be the TSA agent, have different people go through before your son...

 

[meg8017]

I just want to clarify that we are NOT making a big deal about this. We don't know why he is so upset, I think it is the shoe thing but I could be wrong. and he is not the kind of kid who would just happily walk through unaware. He is close to 3 and very conversational and aware. He needs to be somewhat prepared. This is the book we read: http://www.amazon.com/First-Airplane-Ride-Patricia-Hubbell/dp/0761454365 it is geared towards little ones, only one sentence on each page. Our plan is that I will go first and hopefully he will walk to me, then my DH.

 

[bumbershoot]

At 2 it didn't bug DS, but from around 3.5 to 4.5 it did. He just hated that part. But he has to do it, and yes your guy will have to walk through on his own at that age.

I'd just make sure you have easy on/off shoes for him and don't really talk about it much now...he should be able to see everyone else taking off shoes.

It just hit me...have you mentioned that he'll actually get his shoes back at the end? When DS was just coming up on 3, we moved. And we were talking about the move, we all went to look at apartments together, talked about it all the time. We were packing together, etc. Shortly before the move happened (and it was only cross-town), he looked at me sadly and asked if we would leave him some toys when we moved.

Turned out, he thought, that WHOLE time, that DH and I were moving, and leaving him behind. Sometimes kids don't hear the whole thing...

So maybe he can't get it, even if you've told him, that he's getting his own shoes back?

 

[camlace]

They will make him walk through on his own (you can't carry him), but if he is walking from your husband to you it will be easier. Good luck!

Not always true...I carried my now 4 yo through the metal detector several times from all ages...when she was still a non-walker to as recently as last year when she was just shy of 4. Most times if a TSA agent sees that a child is really freaked, uncomfortable with going through the metal detector alone, they will let you carry the child. I usually try to get her to go through 1st on her own, but sometimes agents say, don't bother, just carry her.

I would also make sure he understands there are lots of sounds at the airport. The sounds freaked my daughter out the most. The beeping, whirring, chatter, slamming of bags on the belt, etc, etc usually freaks her out, especially the beeps of the metal detector going off.

Also be careful if he is carrying a lovey. Lovies definitely go through the machine. So while they are helpful to calm the child, seeing their lovey going down the belt and disappearing into a big machine is not always the best. We usually put our lovey in a backpack when we get to the x-ray machine to "keep her safe".



Good luck!

 

[kfigment]

Our 3 old daughter thinks the X-ray machines are a car wash. The first time she went through she said asked why they had to clean our shoes before we could get to the airplane. It took us a while to catch on as to what she meant. Then later on in the year we took Grandma and Grandpa and she was the leader and told them how you have to take your shoes off so they can go through the shoe car wash.

 

[shellytc]

just a thought, at build a bear you can get shoes for the stuffed animals. Maybe you can get one with shoes like his and he can teach the bear how to get on a plane, copying the book. and he can be in charge of the bears shoes....

good luck. your son sounds like mine! He had a meltdown over getting his hair cut... and when I told him, we really need to trim your hair out of your eyes he said ok. But not to cut him, cause knives HURT!! he was ok with a "trim" but not "cutting"!!

shelly

 

[NotUrsula]

My children have well over 100K air miles under their belts, including a lot of int'l travel. My advice is not to put shoes on him at all on your way to the airport if you can help it. If he never has them on he won't get upset about taking them off, and besides that, it is SO much easier not to have to deal with keeping track of add'l shoes while going through security, especially if your child is frightened and clingy.

Put some non-slip socks on him, and if you are likely to carry him to the car and put him in a stroller to get from point to point at the airport, then just do that without the shoes (put the shoes in your carryon bag.)

When you get into the airport, BEFORE getting into the security line, have everyone in your party stand out of the way and remove their shoes and put them into their carryon bags. Same deal with jackets/sweaters. Go through the entire security line in your stocking feet. Also, at the same time that you remove your shoes, do a pocket check for ANY objects that might set off the scanner, and also put those into your carryon bags (outer zipper pockets are good, or stash a baggie in there for this purpose, which is what I do with all our carryons.) The only thing in your pockets when you ENTER the security line should be your boarding passes and ID.

Make sure that your 3-1-1 baggies are right on top and easily accessible. I put a passenger name on each baggie and take them all in one carryon and "declare" them into only one bin -- easier that way. With ticketed passenger names on the baggies this won't cause an issue.

Your stroller will have to be folded to go through the scanner. Send it through with the first parent so that it is set up and ready when jr. goes through, then strap him right into it so that he can't take off in a panic on you. None of you should bother putting your shoes on until you clear the security area entirely. Use the benches if they have them, otherwise go to the nearest quiet open area near a wall somewhere, and take care of it.

The reality is that what is most likely to scare him is if you or his dad get selected for a secondary search. People in uniforms taking parents "away" are the number one reasons for checkpoint meltdowns -- take all the steps that you can to make it less likely to happen, but explain to him that it might, so that he doesn't freak and cling like a limpet while the officer gets less patient.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I just want to clarify that we are NOT making a big deal about this. We don't know why he is so upset, I think it is the shoe thing but I could be wrong. and he is not the kind of kid who would just happily walk through unaware. He is close to 3 and very conversational and aware. He needs to be somewhat prepared. This is the book we read: http://www.amazon.com/First-Airplane-Ride-Patricia-Hubbell/dp/0761454365 it is geared towards little ones, only one sentence on each page. Our plan is that I will go first and hopefully he will walk to me, then my DH.

Please know that I in no way meant that you are trying to make a big deal about this or intentionally doing so. I, myself have a very anxiety ridden child. She has always wanted to know exactly what will happen at every step of the way for everything. Everything. I have learned over the years (mine is 13 now), that sometimes, even though she thinks she wants the information and she asks for it and sometimes it helps, SOMETIMES too much information, or too much information about ONE thing is likely to make her more anxious rather than less (and I saw this type of thing a lot when I taught preschool).

Think of it this way:
Has your DS been to WDW before? If not, did you also get him a book about the process of going through bag check and the entrance turnstiles? Or a book about eating with big, moving stuffed animal like characters? Or even a book about riding the rides and how you have to wait in line and often step onto a moving conveyor belt and then the ride?

Has he stayed in a hotel before? If not, did you read him a book about what it is like sleeping in a special room that is not yours?

Etc.

Basically, to an anxious two year old seeing that THIS is important enough to warrant reading a book and other things are not makes THIS (the airport) seem like a big deal that he should worry about. Then, he just finds something about that to focus his anxiety on (in this case shoes).

I think in your case, the above poster's suggestion to keep in stocking feet until after security is a great one If that does not work, I recommend that you do not bring the issue up again at all. On the day of your flight arrive with tons of extra time and narrate everything as you go for him (Once we park the car we will wait at the shuttle stop. The bus driver will help us but our suitcases in the bus and drive us to the part of the airport we need to go to--do you see him helping those people over there with their suitcases?"). Point out things to watch ahead of time (like the diver loading suitcases or whatever). Then when you do get to security you can watch for a moment before you get in line (just like you have been observing everything else--so it is not just security that is an issue). Show him how everybody is taking off their coats and shoe and the business people are taking out their laptops. Show him that some people get beeped at by the special gate and then they go "there" and the magic wand gets waved all around them while they make airplane arms and then they are done and get to leave too. Then get in line and do it while asking him if he wants Mommy or Daddy to go first and what flavour ice cream Sundae does he want from the McDonald's on the other side. . .

Best of luck to you. I hope you have a wonder*** trip

 

[Green Tea]

I guess I am a mean mom but I wouldn't put up with the behavior. If he is scared of taking shoes off, then don't put shoes on him. If he says he is going to have a temper tantrum then give 2 options if you have 2 options-either go thru security like all the other kids or stay home (if that is an option.)

But, this is coming from the mom who had convinced her middle school son that he could be picked randomly for a strip search. The look on his face. Good times.......

 

[goofy4tink]

I guess I am a mean mom but I wouldn't put up with the behavior. If he is scared of taking shoes off, then don't put shoes on him. If he says he is going to have a temper tantrum then give 2 options if you have 2 options-either go thru security like all the other kids or stay home (if that is an option.)

But, this is coming from the mom who had convinced her middle school son that he could be picked randomly for a strip search. The look on his face. Good times.......

My child, now 16, has been patted down several times. The first time was soon after 9-11. We flew out of Sanford, in early Nov. Not sure why they chose her, but they did. The poor kid was about 7-8 and really concerned. She had been allowed to bring her stuffed animal on the plane with her coming down, but they refused to allow it going home. So...she had to give up her travel bear (really hard for her to see him going away in a checked bag since he had made all her flights in her lap!!), then to be patted down...all for a kid who was, and still is a bit, horribly nervous about flying to begin with.
When we flew last NYE (a year ago) we were headed to Providence but got diverted to Philly. No flight to Prov that night, so headed back to Ft. Lauderdale (if we had stayed in Philly, our bags would have gone back to FtL in any case, so we decided to stay with our bags). When we returned to FtL the next morning, everyone who had flown in the previous night had to be patted down and searched. My dd just rolled her eyes and went with it..it was actually kinda funny..talk about insult added to injury.

In any case, if we are unconcerned about something, our kids tend to pick up on it. I would have some practice runs to show your ds what exactly will happen when he gets to the security line. I would tell him that it's the law that he has to do some of those things..just like being in his carseat. Put some stuff in his carryon bag, then make a pretend xray belt....have him stick his stuff up there, go through the 'scanner' and then out the other side...as he walks through the magic door (yes, that's what we used to call it!!)

I wouldn't even tell him that you are doing it for his benefit. I would say that 'Mommy is trying to make this go as quickly as possible so she is practicing at home to get those bags in and out of the scanner quickly.' and that maybe he can help you get it done. Make it a game of sorts. Maybe you could have dad pull a blanket or something through a box (that you use as the scanner) so it looks like a conveyor belt.