Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[msjprincess]

I haven't seen punch at showers since the 1970's LOL. People still serve punch??

Almost every shower I've been to in the last few years. My sister's baby shower last year was brunch in a restaurant. They had a mimosa punch.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

If I am against smoking, I am not going to offer cigarettes to others.

It is a belief system.

I don't smoke pot, but when I entertain I always have some on hand for those that do. Just like I have certain brands of alcohol because thats what friends and family prefer.

 

[CPanther95]

Frank, Raymond's Dad on 'Everybody Loves Raymond", sums up exactly what your guests are thinking - whether they admit it or not - when they see a cash bar. When he found out it was a cash bar at his son's wedding, he said:



Frank: "And, by the way, the broad's family is supposed to pay, and it is to be a full bar free of charge, with top-shelf hooch.
Read your Bible."


then later


Hank (Bride's father): I mean, I like to think that I'm a nice fella, and I was always taught to find the good in people, and I would like to with you, Frank.
Frank: Well, I think you are a nice fella, Hank...
... but I gotta tell ya, you're not gonna find much good in people when they drive all the way to Pennsylvania for a big, long wedding and you screw them on the booze.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

If someone thinks it does nothing for you, they aren't doing it right.

Same with coffee and love making.

(those are meant to be two separate examples - not that there's some way to combine both into a higher level experience)

Hmmm, don't be so sure about that. I'll bet if you search, you can find something along the lines of Java Jollies dot com.

 

[mummabear]

If I am against smoking, I am not going to offer cigarettes to others.

It is a belief system.

Alcohol has no immediate impact on non drinking guests. Smoking does.

 

[Aliceacc]

I think it's entirely possible to be smart enough to understand, yet still disagree.

 

[marlynnp]

The truth is a drink or two just makes me able to tolerate certain people. I suspect some of those people are on this thread. Judge me all you want, believe me your opinion matters not one whit to me.

 

[karmic]

In CT it is highly unusual to go to a wedding that is not open bar. I would rather go to a wedding with a cash bar- proper notice given- than a dry wedding. I even had an open bar for my daughter's baby shower and almost everyone had a nice adult beverage- lots of judgmental comments on this thread- enjoying a cocktail or glass of wine at a social function does not mean you have an " alcohol habit"

Always love a juicy Dis wedding thread!

 

[Skywalker]

My wedding many years ago was a dry wedding. It was at a hotel though so the people that really wanted alcohol could go and get it. We provided punches, juices and pop free. My fil decided that he couldn't do without getting drunk so had a room in the hotel that he set up with lots of alcohol. He then invited the one's on his side that were all alcoholics up there. That's where my dh's side stayed. Drinking. I was so glad we had gone with a dry wedding and I didn't have to put up with all those alcoholics.

For my daughters wedding my dh and I ended up paying for everything. We said we would pay for a dry wedding. We would provide punches, pop, ice tea, coffee, tea and juices free but NO alcohol. My son-in-law was upset and wanted an open bar. The people that were coming on our side didn't drink alcohol and we were not going to serve alcohol. Sorry but I don't believe in it or want it around me As well the hall we rented was going to cost a lot more because of alcohol. We told him and his family that if they wanted alcohol they could arrange it and they had to pay for the added cost for the hall before arranging anything. They did and then decided to have a cash bar. The caterer ended up being really mad at them because they sold hardly anything at all.

They also wanted champagne for the toasts and we had planned on a sparkling special drink. Again I told them if they wanted it they had to pay for it and pay for the fee for opening it. Didn't happen. They didn't want to have to pay for anything at all but wanted a lot of things.

Oh and the flower budget didn't cost us a cent. My sister had flower arrangements that she had made for a function she did (dried flowers) that were actually in the colours of the wedding. She let us use them.

We did supply lots to drink just not alcoholic drinks. If someone can't survive one evening without alcohol than something is wrong with them.

tigercat

Wow you sound VERY judgy about people who drink. What the...? It IS legal you know. Good on your father-in-law. I would have been up in that room with all the other "alcoholic" refugees LOL.

 

[longboard55]

Its amazing, when people have to pay they get one drink, when its free they get 6. I would provide at most a few wine bottles per table at dinner and nothing more.

 

[nugov2]

Its amazing, when people have to pay they get one drink, when its free they get 6. I would provide at most a few wine bottles per table at dinner and nothing more.

I usually shoot for 6+ free or not

 

[CPanther95]

I usually shoot for 6+ free or not

At least that if I'm expected to hit the dance floor.

 

[Missy1961]

I can totally understand that, and I can understand people not serving alcohol at a wedding. Its the "if someone can't go a day without a drink they have a problem" judgment I have an issue with.
It has nothing to do with not being able to go without, but someone who doesn't drink won't understand that.
I am not talking about true alcoholics, I'm talking about the casual drinker who enjoys a few cocktails when out for the day/night in a party setting like a wedding reception.

Exactly. If you asked me when I last had an alcoholic drink, I'd have to think about it. But if I'm at a party, and they've got the type of beer I like, well, I'm going to drink at least one and maybe two. Because I like it. Doesn't make me an alcoholic because I drink a beer or a glass or wine or a mixed drink every once in a while.

I have never been to a dry wedding, nor have I been to one with a cash bar. If that was someone's choice, I'd be okay with it.

And just because someone is paying for it, doesn't mean I go overboard.

 

[RedAngie]

I am going to have to pay more attention before DD gets married. She doesn't even have a boyfriend yet, so we have lots of time to figure out weddings and what is current!

Both DDs have already said that they don't want fancy expensive weddings. Hopefully they'll keep that vow. But exH has other ideas. He said of course he'll pay 30K+ for their receptions when the time comes. Most likely he wants to show off, but I hope he doesn't talk them into it. <<I>> don't really want to play a part in such an event.

I once saw a dollar dance at a wedding...the bride put on an apron to collect the dollars. There was an open bar, so maybe they were using those dollars to foot the bill

I never heard of the dollar dance thing until one of the other DIS wedding threads years ago. That was kind of an eyebrow-raiser.

I'm almost 50, and have yet to see punch served anywhere, for any occasion.

My mother almost always served punch at larger get-togethers at her house. One non-alcoholic, the other spiked with Southern Comfort.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Both DDs have already said that they don't want fancy expensive weddings. Hopefully they'll keep that vow. But exH has other ideas. He said of course he'll pay 30K+ for their receptions when the time comes. Most likely he wants to show off, but I hope he doesn't talk them into it. <<I>> don't really want to play a part in such an event.



I never heard of the dollar dance thing until one of the other DIS wedding threads years ago. That was kind of an eyebrow-raiser.



My mother almost always served punch at larger get-togethers at her house. One non-alcoholic, the other spiked with Southern Comfort.

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding that did NOT feature the dollar dance. Odd thing is everyone thinks it's cheesy, and it nets very little money, but it's tradition around here.

 

[justgrace]

I've never heard of a dollar dance. So the bride dances around and people stuff money in her apron? That seems....interesting.

I've also never heard of alcohol being served at a child's birthday party for the adults or baby shower. Graduation parties, sure. Adult birthday parties, of course. Weddings, absolutely. But a child's birthday party, say what? Probably just a regional thing.

 

[justgrace]

Okay just looked it up. Yep, never heard of it...

What in the world:

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I've never heard of a dollar dance. So the bride dances around and people stuff money in her apron? That seems....interesting.

I've also never heard of alcohol being served at a child's birthday party for the adults or baby shower. Graduation parties, sure. Adult birthday parties, of course. Weddings, absolutely. But a child's birthday party, say what? Probably just a regional thing.

I've never seen an apron. You just hand your $ to the bride (or groom. These days, there's a line for both).

I too have never heard of an "open bar" or any booze at all at a children's birthday party, baby shower, or bridle shower. Kids birthday parties here aren't giant affairs, either. Usually, the parents host at home. Or, maybe you invite all the kids in class to the skating rink, or a smaller group to the bowling alley, or Skyzone.

 

[tigercat]

As I said, if others want to drink that is their business and I don't say anything to them when I have been out with them. I used to play baseball and after a game we would go out sometimes. The others would drink alcohol and I would get something else. I did not say anything or do anything except enjoy the time. And not everyone who drinks drinks to excess. However, I guess I have had the misfortune to have had alcoholics around and have a hard time with them. If I have an event I have the options of not serving it just as if I went to an event that had it then I had my own drink and left it at that. I wasn't the one supplying it or dealing with it. Most times I would just leave after things got too bad. I have never told anyone they shouldn't drink that is up to them not me.

My dh's family really liked their alcohol and would "enjoy" it for every event. It was too bad though that their only thought wasn't the event but how drunk they could get. And they were not happy drunks. My husband does not drink and he is worse than I am when it comes to alcohol. A couple of people in my parents family as well liked to "enjoy". They really were not happy drunks.

When my son died my father in law had to sober up after a weekend of "enjoying" so that he could drive my mother in law up for the funeral. The first thing he wanted to know was where the bars were. He tried to give our two oldest kids drinks when they were one and two. I happened to come into the room as he was putting the glass to the one year olds mouth. I yelled and my husband came in. When he saw what was happening he told me to pack up our things (we were staying with them over Christmas) and we left. My fil told me that he never wanted to come to our house because we wouldn't serve him alcohol. That's right, his son wouldn't have it in the house.

So if I don't sound positive about alcohol so be it, but I won't stop you from drinking to have fun. But I won't pay for it. Sorry
tigercat

 

[CPanther95]

As I said, if others want to drink that is their business and I don't say anything to them when I have been out with them. I used to play baseball and after a game we would go out sometimes. The others would drink alcohol and I would get something else. I did not say anything or do anything except enjoy the time. And not everyone who drinks drinks to excess. However, I guess I have had the misfortune to have had alcoholics around and have a hard time with them. If I have an event I have the options of not serving it just as if I went to an event that had it then I had my own drink and left it at that. I wasn't the one supplying it or dealing with it. Most times I would just leave after things got too bad. I have never told anyone they shouldn't drink that is up to them not me.

My dh's family really liked their alcohol and would "enjoy" it for every event. It was too bad though that their only thought wasn't the event but how drunk they could get. And they were not happy drunks. My husband does not drink and he is worse than I am when it comes to alcohol. A couple of people in my parents family as well liked to "enjoy". They really were not happy drunks.

When my son died my father in law had to sober up after a weekend of "enjoying" so that he could drive my mother in law up for the funeral. The first thing he wanted to know was where the bars were. He tried to give our two oldest kids drinks when they were one and two. I happened to come into the room as he was putting the glass to the one year olds mouth. I yelled and my husband came in. When he saw what was happening he told me to pack up our things (we were staying with them over Christmas) and we left. My fil told me that he never wanted to come to our house because we wouldn't serve him alcohol. That's right, his son wouldn't have it in the house.

So if I don't sound positive about alcohol so be it, but I won't stop you from drinking to have fun. But I won't pay for it. Sorry
tigercat

The vast majority of people can enjoy alcohol without "enjoying" alcohol.