Another sad ending for a missing girl

[Laura24]

I can't quite tell whether you're kidding or not. Do your DDs call you every time they leave their house and then return home? I feel like you must be exaggerating! I speak to my mother maybe once a week or so. I can't even fathom her knowing whether I'm home or not throughout the day.

Wow, I guess I struck some nerves with my innocent comment but here ya go. Read the post....out and about without their husbands. Circumstances vary from household to household, family to family. If they are out and arrive home when I know their Dh's are not home, I like to know they are safely in their homes. My worry is mostly for my older daughter whose DH works a few late nights. Since we do communicate on a daily basis, we pretty much know what's going on in each other's lives because that is how it is with us. Simple text...one word....home. Worth the peace of mind right?

 

[Laura24]

You're kidding, right?

NOPE....and I've posted my reasonings. And why would you lyao? I don't find anything about this subject funny. Some families communicate, some don't. How sad was it that she left around 1:00, her curfew was 8:00, and her family didn't know she was someplace bad until 9:30 when they reported her missing.

 

[diamondpixienc]

i didn't ask for your opinion, and i don't care about your facts. My child, my way. She does quite well thank you. When you start paying for her and raising her then you get to make decisions. I can assure you that she will be just as independent and qualified to be a productive citizen as any other kid out there. Only difference, she may be alive where as others may not be. Children are to be protected so they can grow to be adults. As far as her being in the woods near our house, no thanks, that is where the kids go to do drugs and make out, she doesn't need that go grow up and be successful.

yes

 

[SaraJayne]

NOPE....and I've posted my reasonings. And why would you lyao? I don't find anything about this subject funny. Some families communicate, some don't. How sad was it that she left around 1:00, her curfew was 8:00, and her family didn't know she was someplace bad until 9:30 when they reported her missing.

I am referring to a woman in her 30's (your daughter) being forced to "check in" with you every time she goes out without her husband. I find that insulting and overbearing.

I don't even make my teenager "check in" with me every time he arrives someplace.

 

[MariDisney]

Wow, I guess I struck some nerves with my innocent comment but here ya go. Read the post....out and about without their husbands. Circumstances vary from household to household, family to family. If they are out and arrive home when I know their Dh's are not home, I like to know they are safely in their homes. My worry is mostly for my older daughter whose DH works a few late nights. Since we do communicate on a daily basis, we pretty much know what's going on in each other's lives because that is how it is with us. Simple text...one word....home. Worth the peace of mind right?

If it works for you, then it works for you. So that's great. It's just unimaginable to me in my personal circumstances (which obviously aren't yours) that my mother would know when I'm out without my husband. Well, I guess I'm out without him all day while I work. I drive all over the county as part of my job. My DH works late often too. In fact, I'm home without him tonight. Now, my mom doesn't know his schedule so I'm sure she's not anywhere worrying. It is just odd to me that the mother of an adult is so knowledgeable about the hour to hour comings and goings of that adult. In our case, if I decide to head out to the grocery store at 10:00 at night, which I often do, the only way my mother would know is if I made a point to tell her, which I don't. Now, my mom lives about 2 1/2 hours from me. If I'm driving home alone from there late at night, which I often do, she might say to drop her a text when I get home. I do that if she asks. But, even then it is only occasionally. Different stroke for different folks. But, from my perspective your situation seems extreme. Not bad, just an extreme level of knowing where your children (as adults) are.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I learned about this tragedy today....and cried....so sad....prayers said

 

[Glennie5]

Everyone differs on what is the right way to raise a child and many on this thread will never agree on which way is the right way. The one thing I think we can all agree on is that what happened to this child is a real tragedy!

 

[LisaR]

I have a question related to the case, if anyone is still interested in that topic.

It has been reported that the mother of the teen boys reported them after what they wrote on Facebook. Any idea what they said? Were they actually bragging about killing Autumn?

 

[allison443]

NJ.com is reporting there was a facebook conversation between Autumn and the younger suspect last week. She commented on a photo of a bike that he posted and he invited her over to his house.

Such a tragedy.

 

[Andtototoo]

I read on Cnn that the two perps were apparently known for stealing bikes and had bike parts stacked up in their basement. That's quite a leap though -- from stealing bikes to killing someone.

 

[MariDisney]

I have a question related to the case, if anyone is still interested in that topic.

It has been reported that the mother of the teen boys reported them after what they wrote on Facebook. Any idea what they said? Were they actually bragging about killing Autumn?

Here's a piece that includes some of the facebook info:

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/new_jersey/175652991.html?cmpid=15585797

 

[LisaR]

Here's a piece that includes some of the facebook info:

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/new_jersey/175652991.html?cmpid=15585797

Thanks!

So sad.

 

[Poohforyou]

Here's a piece that includes some of the facebook info:

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/new_jersey/175652991.html?cmpid=15585797

You know, my heart goes out to autumn's family. This is a tragedy that never should have happened. I know a lot of what the family is saying is being guided by their grief.

However, I'm honestly not surprised the search took some time to get organized. Her family allowed 9 hours to go by without hearing from her or even knowing exactly where she was going to be. Having a 13 yo myself I just can't wrap my mind around this. Autumn was dead before her family even worried that she wasn't home.

 

[Planogirl]

My parents never had a clue when I was going out after I left home. They didn't expect to but to each their own.

I'm surprised to see bickering on a thread about a murdered child. Really?

 

[mhsjax]

I'm always glad to see someone respond back after I have quoted them. I would be very interested in a discussion of the issue. What was so odd was that your response was to say that you weren't interested in hearing anyone's opinion on your post!

If you think you are doing the best you can do for your child by providing a sedentary lifestyle of being chauffeured everywhere (real dangers-like car accidents, greater air pollution, and all variety of health issues due to inactivity) over imagined dangers like strangers lurking around every corner, then go for it. I do understand where you are coming from, you are consumed by FEAR, you need to fight it and do the right thing for your child, don't let your anxiety cripple our future generations!

Well see you missed my point, I said she didn't go anywhere ALONE. She often ride with friends, and walks with friends. She goes to high school and middle school football games with friends and I just drop them off and let them go, I have no idea where they are, but she isn't alone. A child completely alone is a target and that she will not be at her age. Sedentary, far from it, try 7 hours a week of all star cheer and tumbling, plus running around with her friends doing stuff outside and swimming. How is it that you assume so much from me saying she didn't do anything alone, Really, now who has the God complex how in the world did you decide she has a sedentary lifestyle, because you are so far off base you aren't even in the right zip code.

 

[Laura24]

I am referring to a woman in her 30's (your daughter) being forced to "check in" with you every time she goes out without her husband. I find that insulting and overbearing.

I don't even make my teenager "check in" with me every time he arrives someplace.

Where does it say anywhere in my post that I "FORCE" them to "check in" everytime they are out. Your words, not mine. Insulting and overbearing? In no way, shape or form would they or their husbands agree with you . There are many families that enjoy the warm fuzzies and still lead independent lives. Mine is one of them.

 

[sookie]

I didn't see another thread about this, but a 12 year old girl went missing in NJ on Sat and sadly they think they found her body.

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/201...y-that-of-missing-12-year-old-girl-police-say

That is just awful.

 

[goofy4tink]

There is no way we can completely safeguard our kids...it's just impossible. This poor little girl knew who she was going to see, it was someone she knew. She did nothing wrong. Perhaps her parents could have started the search earlier...I know I would have. But, I don't know the entire story.
I do know that even at the ripe old age of 63, my step-mother still likes me to call her when I get home after visiting her. Is she worried that someone is going to abduct me?? I doubt it. But she knows that accidents happen, even to 63 y/o's!!! So, she can stop worrying when I call.
I know that when my 35 y/o ds drove to Florida, from Mass, I asked him to call me each day, at least once. He was driving alone, so I was concerned.

We all know that bad stuff happens to people who are just going about their business. That's life. We can only prepare our kids to move down that treacherous road of life as safely as they can. They have to realize the dangers out there...they have to be allowed to make choices for themselves as they grow. We can't expect them to reach 18, go off to college and then start making good decisions. Start early...let them fail once in awhile. And no, I'm not saying to allow your 10 y/o dd walk the streets at midnight if that's her choice. But, allowing kids to start making their own choices, when safe to do, lets them fail on occasion. And that's a very necessary part of growth.