Another sad ending for a missing girl

[Poohforyou]

This happened only about 60 miles from our house & I have a 13 yo dd. It was talked about at school today & she's been asking lots of questions. I told her nothing is worth losing your life over. She understands more our rules that she only go around our town if she's with a friend & she needs to check in frequently.

My heart breaks for her family.

 

[j's m]

A life lost for bike parts?

I can only hope that her death was some horrible accident and that nothing worse was done to her.

Unfortunately, it was blunt force trauma and strangulation. That doesn't sound too much like an accident. At least it doesn't sound like there was any sexual assault.

It's two towns over from me, so we're getting all the local news. It's just horrifying that 2 boys could do that. The mother of the boys saw something one of them wrote on facebook and called the police.

 

[Rylee]

Well, they just announced during the press conference that the two teen brothers have been arrested and charged with Autumn's murder. It seems they lured her to their house to steal her bike for bike parts.

I don't even know what to say... what can you say to that?

Rest In Peace Autumn.

 

[Planogirl]

I can't imagine being a family member of Autumn or those boys. What a sad, sick situation.

 

[Andtototoo]

Unfortunately, it was blunt force trauma and strangulation. That doesn't sound too much like an accident. At least it doesn't sound like there was any sexual assault.

It's two towns over from me, so we're getting all the local news. It's just horrifying that 2 boys could do that. The mother of the boys saw something one of them wrote on facebook and called the police.

Oh no. That poor girl. My heart breaks. Make sure we all give our kids an extra hug tonight.

Since you have to be so close to someone to strangle them, it takes a really sick person to do that. And for the perps to be so young... And the mother to make the call? I cannot imagine.

 

[Janepod]

They seem to be holding two brothers, 15 and 18, in custody. Her bike was found in their home, a few houses down from where her body was found.

Their mother turned them in, based on what she saw in their Facebook posts. That poor woman; I can't imagine being in her shoes. Bless her for doing the right thing.

15 and 17 years old. They're kids themselves. This is so tragic all around.

 

[shelly3girls]

This hit very close to home and has really shaken the local small town communities. It is such a tragedy and very difficult to explain to the kids. My DDs learned of her death at school and felt very shaken especially my oldest who's friend was friends with Autumn. We have been praying for the family all day. I can't imagine that a bike can motivate these boys to commit such a crime. I really hope they are tried as adults.

 

[diamondpixienc]

wow. seriously? just wow. honestly, call me paranoid but I dont let my son go anywhere alone.

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Ditto. I am a proud helicopter parent. If i cant go and supervise somehow. NOBODY goes. I know I can't be there to watch every second but i sure try. Every time i see a kid wondering around the neighborhood unsupervised i just shake my head. In 2012 seriously? I just make a mental note of the time and what they had on and pray that they dont end up on the local news. Sending lots of prayers to this family and to the alleged suspects who are teenage brothers if i read it correctly. Because there are now 3 children lost forever if they are responsible for this child's death. This whole situation is just sad.

 

[donaldlovesdaisy]

I can't imagine being a family member of Autumn or those boys. What a sad, sick situation.

ITA! I read where the boy’s mother called the police I am sure that could not have been easy for her but she did the right thing.

 

[mhsjax]

wow. seriously? just wow. honestly, call me paranoid but I dont let my son go anywhere alone.

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I don't let my kids go anywhere alone either, people here can call me a helicopter parent if they want to. I drive my 13 year old to her friends house, people don't like it, I don't care. I know she got there and some maniac didn't take her and cut her up like we have seen at least 2 times in the recent past. I take NO chances.

 

[cornflake]

Ditto. I am a proud helicopter parent. If i cant go and supervise somehow. NOBODY goes. I know I can't be there to watch every second but i sure try. Every time i see a kid wondering around the neighborhood unsupervised i just shake my head. In 2012 seriously? I just make a mental note of the time and what they had on and pray that they dont end up on the local news. Sending lots of prayers to this family and to the alleged suspects who are teenage brothers if i read it correctly. Because there are now 3 children lost forever if they are responsible for this child's death. This whole situation is just sad.

When there's significantly less violent crime than there was 30 or 40 years ago, yes.

This is a tragic story, but it's not, thankfully, common.

The victim was nearly 13 years old. It's terrible and tragic but I don't think it means no 13-year-old should go out alone, though to each their own.

ITA! I read where the boy’s mother called the police I am sure that could not have been easy for her but she did the right thing.

Yeah, that must've taken a lot of fortitude - even knowing it's the right thing and that he'd probably get caught regardless, still be such a hard thing to do.

 

[goofy4tink]

I can't imagine what this poor girl's family is going through. But really? Some of you seem to think that the parents dropped the ball by allowing an almost 13 y/o ride her bike down the street to a friend's house?? Man, I was taking the bus into the city for my ortho appts when I was 12..back in the 60's!!! And believe me, there was bad stuff happening then as well.
Here's the thing....really awful stuff happens to good people, despite their best efforts to keep themselves, and their children, safe. Sadly, it's life.
We just lost a town girl to a murder up in NH..and we still have no body to return to her family. This type thing hits home for all of us who have dd's away at college. And it's an awful, awful thing. You try to educate your children and give them the tools they need in order to function out in the world. But sometimes, bad stuff happens. There are evil people out there..and sadly, that evil can come in the form of teenaged boys. Are they still 'children' themselves?? Sure they are...but in all reality, does anyone here truly believe that these two brothers didn't realize they were doing something horribly wrong?? Of course they did...but their need for those bicycle parts was more important to them than the life of a young girl.

So, all you 'helicopter' parents out there....at what point do you let your kids go and pray that nothing bad happens to them?? My soon to be 19 y/o (tomorrow in fact) is away at college. She spent three years in high school, standing next to poor Lizzi Marriott, singing in a select choir. She shares many of the same personality traits that Lizzi had. So yeah....I worry. But, at some point you have to trust in life. Bad stuff happens...everyday. We have to give our kids the tools to limit the bad stuff happening to them. Then, say a prayer, and let them go.

 

[mickeyboat]

So, to you admitted helicopter parents - what is the magic age when your chilren will be allowed to go somewhere that you cannot supervise? Or go somewhere by themselves?

 

[penn19]

I can't imagine what this poor girl's family is going through. But really? Some of you seem to think that the parents dropped the ball by allowing an almost 13 y/o ride her bike down the street to a friend's house?? Man, I was taking the bus into the city for my ortho appts when I was 12..back in the 60's!!! And believe me, there was bad stuff happening then as well.
Here's the thing....really awful stuff happens to good people, despite their best efforts to keep themselves, and their children, safe. Sadly, it's life.
We just lost a town girl to a murder up in NH..and we still have no body to return to her family. This type thing hits home for all of us who have dd's away at college. And it's an awful, awful thing. You try to educate your children and give them the tools they need in order to function out in the world. But sometimes, bad stuff happens. There are evil people out there..and sadly, that evil can come in the form of teenaged boys. Are they still 'children' themselves?? Sure they are...but in all reality, does anyone here truly believe that these two brothers didn't realize they were doing something horribly wrong?? Of course they did...but their need for those bicycle parts was more important to them than the life of a young girl.

So, all you 'helicopter' parents out there....at what point do you let your kids go and pray that nothing bad happens to them?? My soon to be 19 y/o (tomorrow in fact) is away at college. She spent three years in high school, standing next to poor Lizzi Marriott, singing in a select choir. She shares many of the same personality traits that Lizzi had. So yeah....I worry. But, at some point you have to trust in life. Bad stuff happens...everyday. We have to give our kids the tools to limit the bad stuff happening to them. Then, say a prayer, and let them go.

Agree with this 100%. I am afraid we will have a generation of kids who do not know how to function on their own because they have never been allowed to. I understand we don't ever want anything bad to happen to our kids, but as the pp said, bad things do happen. No matter what.

 

[Janepod]

The victim and the younger brother were Facebook friends. (You could still view her page and friends list last night.) I am sure she did not think she was in any danger entering their house.

So sad all around.

 

[goofyintoronto]

So, to you admitted helicopter parents - what is the magic age when your chilren will be allowed to go somewhere that you cannot supervise? Or go somewhere by themselves?

I admit, im a paranoid mom. My son will be 13 soon, and even thou he walks to school and back home with a friend....thats pretty much the only time i let him go anywhere alone. The thing is, he never asks to go anywhere by himself anyway, so we dont really have a problem. Im sure the day will come when he'll want to go out alone or what not. I'll deal with it at the time I suppose.

 

[ckay87]

So, to you admitted helicopter parents - what is the magic age when your chilren will be allowed to go somewhere that you cannot supervise? Or go somewhere by themselves?

Absolutely agree. Because you do know that 20-, 30-, 40+ year old women are abducted, raped, killed, etc. ALL the time.

I want my children to live and freely enjoy life. All I can really do is equip them to do so as safely as possible.

 

[mdsoccermom]

The world is not a more dangerous place than it was when we were growing up. Crime still occurred; we just didn't hear about it. There were fewer media outlets and the media outlets we had didn't report on every child abduction or murder that occurred around the country. Social media didn't exist. We didn't have instant access to news. But, crime was still occurring.

Being a parent is worrisome business. But we should never let that get in the way of allowing our children freedom and the ability to grow. For the poster that shakes her head every time she sees a child alone, you'd be very busy in my neighborhood as children simply are permitted out by themselves. It's certainly no one's intention to escort their kids to a friend's home a couple blocks over.

 

[mdsoccermom]

I admit, im a paranoid mom. My son will be 13 soon, and even thou he walks to school and back home with a friend....thats pretty much the only time i let him go anywhere alone. The thing is, he never asks to go anywhere by himself anyway, so we dont really have a problem. Im sure the day will come when he'll want to go out alone or what not. I'll deal with it at the time I suppose.

Does he ever go to that friend's house to hang out? Is he not allowed to walk there on his own?

 

[nchulka]

I don't let my kids go anywhere alone either, people here can call me a helicopter parent if they want to. I drive my 13 year old to her friends house, people don't like it, I don't care. I know she got there and some maniac didn't take her and cut her up like we have seen at least 2 times in the recent past. I take NO chances.

There are so many things wrong with this statement, it's hard to know where to begin. For one thing you are teaching your children never to take any chances in life! Also, you do take chances, everyday, you just don't realize it. You are lulled into a false sense of security that as long as you are present nothing bad will happen to your child. You FEEL in control. If your child went to ride their bike alone, you would FEEL out of control and therefor anxious. Even statistically your argument makes no sense, do you have any idea how many more children are killed in car accidents every year than by random abductors?!! No, you don't care about facts, just about how you FEEL. You FEEL no anxiety while driving your child to her friends, but you would FEEL anxious if she walked, therefor you ignore what the facts are about which is truly a more dangerous activity and drive her because it makes you FEEL in control.

Let's think about the children we have seen on TV who were abducted right out of their own bedrooms! Does this mean your entire family sleeps together every night? 2 girls I can think of right now, household names, were not even sleeping alone, one with a sister, one with friends at a sleepover.

When is the magic age they can be alone? I would venture to say that if you really want them safe they never be alone ever in their lives! You see there are many more adult women attacked and killed every year by strangers than children! So you better not go out by yourself alone either if you don't want to take any chances. There are actually less than 50 children every year in the entire US who are abducted and killed by strangers, it FEELS like more because the media loves these stories, they sell!

You are truly being counter-productive when you "helicopter" your child. They are not getting life experience in learning to listen to their own instincts and develop some street smarts. If for 18 years they only listen to mom's voice and don't learn to develop and listen to their own they are going to be the most vulnerable young adults when they finally do get on their own. They will either be crippled by fear that you have instilled in them or they will be so glad to be free they will make stupid dangerous decisions. I much prefer to give my kids time during the 18 years I have them to gradually over time develop their own decision making skills and allow them to become confident in their own decisions. You will see my kids riding their bikes through the subdivision alone, you will see them exploring the woods behind our subdivision, you would see them walking to school alone if it wasn't 12 miles away , you won't see me, I'm in the house, feeling a bit anxious, and knowing that that means I am doing the right thing