An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[tink38]

Couldn't have said it better. Thanks Tink.

Anytime, B. You know I got yer back.

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

No time to write a proper response. I am going to eat tonight with my darling husband and children at our favorite little Mennonite joint. They are serving broccoli casserole today, TFI.

Which makes me think of Melly for some reason.

Great installment Mel. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Frickles]

: My cat can't read.

Neither can The General. Without her bifocals. On. And sometimes she needs the magnifying glass, too.

Which is why I write in tiny tiny tiny letters. On her postcards.

Heh heh.

Bless her.

Mel!!!! You cracked me up!!!! As always!!!!

 

[Chapter 11]

I enjoyed my ride. On a lesser pony.

There are no lesser ponies -- only lesser riders. Just ask Horsie -- she'll tell you.

 

[pongoperdigirl]

Nice report Mel


heh heh

 

[Shelby5514]

Not like the frog in the pre-sealed bag of salad greens. That one is false. And, yet, I still look for a frog everytime I buy a bag.

And you will too. Now.

Thanks alot Mel!

 

[kpk89]

Not just my favorite screen name, but also one of the coolest people on the Dis. Thanks, Ashclan.

Buy her a pony, why don't you? Geez.

Welcome back, Z. Missed your wit, your lunch, and your obscure movie quotes.

 

[mikayla73]

... and I love the floatingheadinaglobe thingy! It's also very limey!

 

[queenmum2]

So Mel. Do you know Kevin? He's from prince edward island. He's really cute and a computer programmer. He's been here for about 9 years. He works for a company called Keane.
Just wondering.

Hey - My hubby works for Keane (Federal Systems). Small world!

Tracie

 

[Minnie_Moo]

Perhaps Camilla could do it. She looks like she has enough upper body strength. When she's not occupied giving rides on the carousel. That is.

No offense to any horses out there.

As usual, Melly, great reporting!!!

 

[ZZUB]

Annoying. And irritating.

Neither and both. The Pooh thing has me a little creeped out. I find Pooh pretty disturbing. Like that freakish picture of you in a crystal ball that is suddenly ubiquitous.

GeorgiaAristocat wrote:

I am going to eat tonight with my darling husband and children at our favorite little Mennonite joint.

You mean there is more than one Mennonite joint in your town? What kind of hip-town do you live in?

Whenever someone mentions the Mennonites I immediately think of Mel HappyHaunt. Doesn't everyone?

 

[UtahMama]

So naturally I came to this site for a dose of "No-Doze" and cracked up at your last installment...because MY kids just hefted the sword just 2 days ago and I got the horse BEHIND Cindy's thanks to a RUDE horse hog.

MEL! I love this report of yours!

Thanks for keeping me company when I cant sleep!

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Whenever someone mentions the Mennonites I immediately think of Mel HappyHaunt. Doesn't everyone?

umm nope but then there are a lot of Mennonites in my town...so perhaps that distracts me.

 

[queenmum2]

As usual, Melly, great reporting!!!

that's a riot!

Tracie

 

[celerystalker]

Queenmum - I work for a company called DCI and Keane handles all of our IT. We have about 15 to 20 Keane employees that are permanent here at our corporate headquarters. Ive actually been considering going to work for them once I complete my IT degree.

Great installment Mel! Thanks for sharing!

 

[blue_river]

Just joining your tr and since this post is on page 80 something, I see it is going to take me a looooooooooooooong time to get caught up. I'm pretty new to the boards and I've tended to avoid the long tr's but I've read/heard so much about you that I figured I should get on the train too! All aboard!!!!!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Whenever someone mentions the Mennonites I immediately think of Mel HappyHaunt. Doesn't everyone?

Everyone does.

And why shouldn't they?

We are the violent, non-pacifist, competitive, van-driving, shunned, liberal, b.b.q. ing, bikini-wearin', MORE is MORE... Amish Mennonites.

TFI.

 

[Lan]

I love your trip report.

 

[bdg100]

Where is everybody? Seems like a ghost town in here? Hellllloooo!!! Post some of your wonderful pics again Mel. That will surely draw a crowd. I especially like the ones taken of nothing. The ones where no one is looking at the camera are nice too.

BDG

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Now. Then. Where are we?

Ahhhhh. Standing outside Snow White's Scary Adventures. With one little female happyhaunt who didn't REALLY want to ride. It.

But... the line was short.

Because the ride sucks.

And... because it says "SCARY" in the name.

Why would they have changed it? WHY?

When I was young... it wasn't called that. And I went on. And I rode it. And I cried. And wet myself.

It was embarrassing because I was in high school.

Same thing happened when I was in grade school.

PSYCHE!

No. It didn't. The ride never frightened me. I liked scary(ish) things. As a child. This ride couldn't cut muster. Or pass it either. On the scary level.

For Me(l) anywho.

But... I hear tell... it scared PLENTY of kids. Back in the day. So... why rename the freakin' thing? And warn the little buggers. Because that's EXACTLY why Beth didn't want to go on.

I hate this freakin' PC planet we're forced to live on.

NO ONE KEEPS SCORE ANYMORE. EVERYONE APOLOGIZES. MAKES EXCUSES FOR. CHANGES THE RULES. TRIES TO BE NICE. TO NEVER OFFEND. THEY STOP TELLING THE TRUTH. TO LET PEOPLE DOWN EASY.

CRAP!

It's all crap. Real life isn't like this. Real life doesn't coddle you. Real life has ups and downs and scrapes and scratches. Real life is full of scabs. (Yikes!) Pick them off. And get on with it. GEEZ.

So... why can't we just scare the kids?

And be done with it.

Just like it was done when we were growing up. We survived. Some of us actually grew a backbone.

Or two.

And our skin got thicker. And... it wasn't such a bad thing.

Whew.

I'm done.

See ya'll Monday.


Just kiddin'.


I'm back.


My point was this: It's not that scary. In fact, warning them that it "might" be scary is insane. It makes them build it up in their minds. It makes it SCARIER. Actually. They all know the story. Already. Come on. They know there is a witch. Big freakin' deal. A witch. Some of them see witches all the time.

My kids. For instance.

But... we don't go to The General's place, West Point, and see a great big sign outside that reads, "Mel happyhaunt's Scary Adventures".

You know?

The point was this. Again. Well... a second point: It took us quite awhile to convince Beth to ride. We don't MAKE them do rides they don't want to do. Because... what is the fun in that? Really. But we convinced her. CONVINCED her. To try it. Just once. She could close her eyes if she needed to. And we were all right there. For her. And... we did it. Finally. She held my hand tightly. But made it through. In one piece.

She wasn't even that scared. And, although, she claimed she was glad that she went in the end. She didn't want to do it again. This trip.

Fair enough.

Neither Calvin or Tommy blinked tho. Not in the way that they were paralyzed with fear. But... no biggie. To them. At all.

So... it really DIDN'T rival the Haunted Mansion. And the Tower of Terror. In terms of horror.

I lied.

To build it up.

Heh heh.

Fact is... not too big of a deal. For Beth.

Not a favourite. Tho.

But... who would pick that one for a favourite anyhow?


It sucks.

Although that SCARY freakin' witch comes pretty close to you. At one point. TFI.


And, that folks... is where I began this. Little rant.

So... let's move on.


The happyhaunts then went to get in line and wait for Mickey's PhilharMagic.

Because... get this... we'd never done it before!

Never.

Not once. Yet.

In all the times we've gone. In the last three years.

We've been spending our time stuck in Frontierland. And missed it.

It seemed pretty popular. First we had to wait outside. And then we had to wait inside. Holding our 3-D glasses. And imagining what sweaty person wore them just before. Me(l).

Probably just I was wondering that. But it's the truth. I felt like I was about to use someone's toothbrush.

I always feel like that when we're doing the 3-D shows.

Anywho... to make the time pass quicker. Mellyman and I decided to work on our mental preparation. For our little Buzz Lightyear Competition. We decided to do some trash talkin'.

Me: We agree on nothing, Mel.
Mellyman: Yes, Mel.
Me: Education, guns, drugs, school prayer, defense-spending, taxes - you name it. We disagree.
Mellyman: You know why?
Me: Because I'm a lily-livered, bleeding heart, liberal, egghead communist.
Mellyman: And I'm a gun-toting, redneck son-of-a-somethin'. Or other.
Me: Yes. You are.
Mellyman: We agree about that.
Me: I should punch you in the face.

(Or something... to that effect. I'm not sayin' those were our exact words. I didn't take the time to write it down. This time. heh heh)

But... we were right in the thick of it.

Because we are both pretty competitive. With each other. And sometimes we don't like to be to lovey dovey. Actually... we're pretty much NEVER lovey dovey. Except in front of The General.

It makes her skin crawl to see us kiss.

Plus... I'm not so much of a girly girl.

I've been told.

Plenty.

Oh... I'm a girlie girl when it comes to some things like: Clothes, skirts, shoes, make-up, mani and pedis, crying in movies, crying watching t.v., crying watching commercials. I'm a crier. TFI. I like to hunt... but not, actually, KILL anything. If that makes any sense. To you. And I've given birth three times. Although... if you'd have HEARD me give birth. I sounded more like a longshoreman. Than a girlie girl.

Which brings me to the next list.

Of things I do which make me a manly girl. Like: I've got a pretty filthy mouth on me. Ask anyone. I can swear up a freakin' storm. If I feel like it. If you think this trippie is long... you should hear some of the strings of cuss words that I can stitch together. Off the top of my head. And make work. Quite nicely. If I DO say so myself.

heh heh

Plus... I love violent movies. Gladiator is one of my all-time favourite movies. Of all TIME! I smoked a big cigar this summer. Until I about threw up. That was pretty manly. Especially the gagging and spitting. I'll not smoke another. For awhile. TFI. I've had my nose broken. My four front baby teeth knocked out by a punch. From my best childhood girlfriend. STILL. We're still bestest of friends. I've been in a dogfight. And a catfight. I've travelled alone, hunted, fished, hiked, canoed, back-country camped, gotten drunk as a longshoreman, too, and spanked by pretty much all the mothers in my neighbourhood. Growing up. With The General's blessing.

And... one time... I actually DESERVED it. Believe it or not.

What happened was this: I set all the animals free. From their cages. My friend's father was a Magician. By trade. And they had a cool house with secret doors and passageways and all that. It was fun. He kept all his animals... bunnies, pigeons, snakes, mice, etc... for his act. In this shed. In their yard. And one day... I opened the cages. And let them. GO.

I didn't like the cages. I was young. And it seemed logical to free them.

Boy... was I WRONG.

What a commotion. Most of them were recovered.

And I was soundly, SOUNDLY spanked. Twice.

Once by his Mom. And once, again, by The General.

Whew.

I learned MY LESSON. I think.


heh heh

Anywho... it can get nasty. Between us. Between Mellyman and I. When we're competing. To kick each other's butt. In something or other. We end up turning the smallest thing into a bloodsport.

Neither one of us likes to lose.

Neither one of us likes to give up.

Neither one of us is intimidated or afraid of the other.

To sum it up: This family doesn't need an opposition party... we do fine ourselves!!!!

Booo-yeah!!!!

BABY!!!!





To be continued. Up next: Mickey's PhilharMagic. Adventureland. And the BIG SPLIT-UP. The great divide. For real. This time.