An Inconvenient Truth: happyhaunt Style! (New... pg. 113!)

[scrap4u]

Still enjoying your wonderful trip. Report.
Thanks for sharing it and all the wonderful pictures. I think.

 

[mrp4352]

Just to put your mind at ease, Mel - My brother works at a major amusement park (not Disney, unfortunately), and they have a 3-D movie, too. Once the glasses are dropped in the trash ca-whoop, sorry, Recovery Bins at the exit, they are taken backstage and put through a serious, major, ain't-nothin'-gonna-live-through-this-no-way-no-how-baby decontamination and cleaning procedure... So, you need have no further fear of used toothbrushes on your face!

BTW - love the trippie; and my family and I aren't quite as competative at Buzz and you and your hubby, but we do bet on it! Loser buys Mickey bars!

 

[auntk]

Found this on page 2 - can't have that! I love your family's stories!

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

For you: The five happyhaunts were primed.

Ready for our first experience with Mickey's PhilharMagic.

The doors opened.

We entered the theatre and moved in. Pushing past other guests and selecting the best seats in the house. The middle of the middle row in the middle of the theatre. We were right in the middle of the middle. And, right now, the word "middle" means nothing. Anymore. I've said it too many times in a row and all meaning has been lost.

This also works very well with the words: "meal", "chevron", "nylon" and "museum". TFI. Try it for yourself. Say each over and over and over and over.

Oh.

Works for "over", too. Who'd a guessed?

It's a fun. Game. For Me(l). And I'm happy to share it with you, now, too.

Thank me later.

It doesn't work so well with the words "traffic cone" and "crowbar", though.

Hummmm... actually... now that I'm sitting here. All alone. In my kitchen. Saying "Crowbar, crowbar, crowbar, crowbar, crowbar..." out loud. I realize three things:

1. It potentially works for "crowbar". Too.
2. I am a lunatic.

My point is this: We were no where NEAR the middle. Of the theatre.

We followed the LAW of DISNEY. And picked a row. Walked all the way to the end. Not stopping in the middle. And took the first five available seats. There.

Still... the view was just fine.

We are the thrifty, PhilharMagic-ready, rule-following happyhaunts.

Except for me.

And then it was time to put the...shudder... 3-D glasses ON.

I did it. Only because I like living life on the edge. And... I got Tommy to carefully lick them clean. Beforehand. For me.

Heh heh.

It started. YES! Philharmagic.

HOW EXCITING!!!!

And it was great! One of the best parts is the Smell-o-Vision. You can actually smell things. In the movie.

Like apple pie and jasmine.

The apple pie was great because of this: Everyone likes pie.

And chips.

I think.

And, I suddenly realized, I was VERY hungry. Lunch was not scheduled for awhile and GOSH... maybe we'd have to get a snack.

GOSH! Maybe we WILL!

Later. After the show.

The 3-D effects were so cool. I always reach out and try to grab things in front of my face. Just like my three kids. I can't help it. It seems like you can REALLY touch something!

And... I DID. Unfortunately.

I touched the lady in front of me. Her head. By accident.

I guess the Imagineers didn't expect a full-grown woman with long skinny fingers to be leaning forward in her seat and grabbing at Donald and a pearl necklace. Along with the rest. Of the. Small children.

My bad.

One part of this show really touched me. Really stirred me. And it was the song "Circle of Life". It always does. I feel it in my chest. I feel it in my throat. It always speaks to me.

It says, "This is a GOOD song, TFI".

And... Mickey's Philharmagic says, "This is A GREAT show, TFI". Too.

Go see it.

Don't miss it.

We ALL enjoyed it. All five happyhaunts thought it was just superb. And we couldn't figure out why we hadn't seen it before.

It was simple: We were stuck in Frontierland. As usual.

We headed out of the theatre, stopping to deposit our USED 3-D glasses in the buckets provided.

I deposited mine. After I rubbed them against both of my armpits.

Heh heh.

You think I'm kidding. And... maybe I am. Then, again, I follow the advice of those timeless bards I call... Great White. And, therefore... I WAS GIVING WHAT I GOT.

Considering it was hot and I was kinda sweaty... I was, in reality, giving MORE than what I got.

As usual.

Heh heh.

Am I kidding? Or not? You be the judge.

We stood just outside. Actually, we stopped dead in our tracks. In front of a bunch of people walking. To discuss our next destination.

I immediately thought of doing BUZZ LIGHTYEAR. But, then, realized I was not ready. Not really. I still had my list to finish.

10 Things I Hate About You. Not you, tfi. Mellyman.

I let him walk away. Ahead of Calvin and I. Towards Pooh's Playful Spot.

And worked on my list.

12. I hate him because I'm hungry.
13. I hate him because we're going to Pooh's Playful Spot.
14. I hate him because he's Rabbit.
15. I hate him because I'm Tigger.
16. I hate him because I'm walking behind him.
17. I like his butt.
18. I hate that I'm walking behind him liking his butt.
19. I like his legs.
20. I think they are nicely shaped and well-muscled and not too hairy.
21. I hate that this is not working. For Me(l). Right now.

Calvin: Mom?
Me: Yep?
Calvin: Why are you looking at Daddy funny?
Me: I WAS?
Calvin: You WERE.
Me: WAS NOT.
Calvin: WERE TOO.
Me: WASSSSS NNNNOT!
Calvin: WERE TOOOOO!
Me: NOT.
Calvin: TOO.

Yada blah blah.

Me: I was thinking that I should go up and walk right IN FRONT of Daddy. And mess up HIS GAME. For a change.

With that... I did. I ran up and walked in front of him.

So that MY BUTT could screw up HIS LIST.

So there.

Our POOR kids... our poor poor kids.

OH!

Looky at the time!

Gotta run for a bit. But... I'll be back. Later today... with more of this tripe report.



Cheers, Mel.

To be continued: Later today. I think.

 

[sheridac]

It seems like you can REALLY touch something!

And... I DID. Unfortunately.

I touched the lady in front of me. Her head. By accident.

I think I know who that was too!!! I saw something about it. On the Dis. I think. Some trip report. Somewhere. Some crazed, rule breaking, tigger ear wearing blond lady kept touching the back of her head!!!

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

Mel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








That's all I've got to say about that . . . .

 

[HaleyB]

We followed the LAW of DISNEY. And picked a row. Walked all the way to the end. Not stopping in the middle. And took the first five available seats. There.

That is good, because it is decidedly unpatriotic to stop in the middle.

 

[latoberg]

We entered the theatre and moved in. Pushing past other guests and selecting the best seats in the house. The middle of the middle row in the middle of the theatre. We were right in the middle of the middle. And, right now, the word "middle" means nothing. Anymore. I've said it too many times in a row and all meaning has been lost.

This also works very well with the words: "meal", "chevron", "nylon" and "museum". TFI. Try it for yourself. Say each over and over and over and over.

Oh.

Works for "over", too. Who'd a guessed?

I found out that "among" works too. After I had said it a few too many times in Bible study one night. And one of the students (adult mind you) was laughing hysterically. And every time I said among, she would laugh harder.

 

[tink38]

12. I hate him because I'm hungry.
13. I hate him because we're going to Pooh's Playful Spot.
14. I hate him because he's Rabbit.
15. I hate him because I'm Tigger.
16. I hate him because I'm walking behind him.
17. I like his butt.
18. I hate that I'm walking behind him liking his butt.
19. I like his legs.
20. I think they are nicely shaped and well-muscled and not too hairy.
21. I hate that this is not working. For Me(l). Right now.

WHY do I continue to eat lunch while reading your trip reports?????

You are on a roll, sista! Keep it coming!

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Mel thanks for the laughs..I was having a bad day and you made it brighter. Much appreciated!

 

[jamal]

And... Mickey's Philharmagic says, "This is A GREAT show, TFI". Too.

Yes ma'am. It rules!! You rule, too.

 

[celerystalker]

My two favorite nonsense words:
Crayon
Curtain

What do these two mean? Not a thing! Say it. It only takes like twice for crayon and four times for curtain.
As long as you enunciate both syllabals of crowbar, I don't think it counts.

I have a confession. I can't say the word ambulance without sounding like a hick.
I try and try, but it doesn't work. The only way I can say it almost properly is to take on an affected accent (like the grey poupon commercials). Then I say it really long and snooty.
Thanks for the installment Mel. I was missing my dose of happyhaunts! Try to get one more up tomorrow afternoon so I can get another dose before my trip.

 

[Frickles]

We did Mickey's Philharmagic for the first time last year....because we had not been since it had opened. When I saw it the first time, I got choked up! I mean I rarely get choked up, but Jasmine and Alladin got me. The looks on my kids faces got me. We loved it! We saw it three times.

Anywho, I loved your latest and greatest. Well, the parts I could understand that is.

 

[ZZUB]

I realize three things:
2. I am a lunatic.

Welcome to the party. What took so long?! Your mom was at Woodstock, wasn't she?!

I have trouble with with and where. Also, dining never looks right to me and so I insert an extra "n." Den seems strange, like its missing letters. Also: then, when, hen and wren. And of course, pharmaceutical.

Our POOR kids... our poor poor kids.

Again. Welcome to the party.

Donald's Philharmagic is quite good. Although I find the cherry smell offensive. Like this tripe you keep posting. And the smells my dog makes in the early morning hours.

 

[sheridac]

Although I find the cherry smell offensive. Like this tripe you keep posting. And the smells my dog makes in the early morning hours.

NOW WAIT JUST ONE MINUTE MISTER!!!!!

I know that you know that I know that you know that you LOVE those early morning hour smells!!!!!

AND

You would MISS them. TERRIBLY!!!!!!

 

[GOOFYsince71]

Me(l).......Ahhhhhhhh, you have finally realized you are "special"!!
We've always known!
As for the word thing........I have always cringed (that's actually a good one)
at the word ..........stool............Heard often in
bars........can't even sit on one,it is so offensive!
As for the 3-D glasses......I got your pair last week........I'm sure


----------------------------------------------------------justbackjan

 

[Mr. Silly]

That is good, because it is decidedly unpatriotic to stop in the middle.

Hmm, I was under the impression that stopping in the middle is distinctly unpatriotic.

 

[UtahMama]

SOMEONE actually video recorded Mickey's Philharmagic. So I clicked on it and it was missing the 3 D effects. Mostly blurry 2-D. But it still gets to ya!


another word: "Puddin'-pop", or,"poof-poof".

You're at least nice when you're seething about your husband!

Love it! Good job! ETC!

UtahMama

 

[bdg100]

Great report. Thanks for sharing.

 

[1000thhappyhaunt]

Everyone followed Me(l) to Pooh's Playful Place.

The kids ran in, Mellyman went off to find a washroom and I bought me some POPCORN.

I love Disney/Magic Kingdom popcorn. It tastes better than popcorn anywhere else in The World. Also... anywhere else in the world.

I got the full-on bucket. The big barge of popcorn.

And called the kids to come have some. Too.

But... I called them VERY quietly. I whispered. Actually I didn't call them at all.

And, if I did, I used different names for them.

I didn't REALLY want to share it.

But... they SAW. And came running over. Devouring it in about 60 seconds and leaving me with just the kernals. To crunch.

Which I actually don't mind. I've even broken my bottom front tooth on one, before.

And then spent a bunch of money getting it fixed. Properly. Plus, my dentist gave me crap. Over it.

Did it matter? To Me(l).

Yes.

It did.

Because I'll tell you another thing I HATE... besides my husband on BUZZ LIGHTYEAR Day, spiders and snakes... is DENTISTS.

Yet, I love having teeth.

So... I go.

Leaving me with the souvenier bucket, the kids ran back into Pooh's Playful Spot.

All of them except for Calvin.

He stayed beside me. Sitting on the curb thingie by the entrance.

Me: Calvin, what's wrong?
Calvin: I don't really want to play in there.
Me: Why not.
Calvin: It's kinda lame.
Me: Say it RIGHT, mister.
Calvin: It's CRAP.
Me: Good man!
Calvin: I wish it was more fun. It's for babies. Beth likes it too.
Me: Well, well my young friend. Let me spin you a tale of something BETTER. MUCH BETTER.
Calvin: Will this take long?
Me: Yes.
Calvin: All right. (sigh!)
Me: Let me tell you of a wonderous ride. An AMAZING ride. Which once existed. Right HERE. Right here. In Fantasyland.

And then I did.

I told him of the ride I called: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

Everyone else called it that too. BTW.

I told him the wonder of it. The beauty and the thrill.

Of a SUBMARINE RIDE. In the World of Disney.

I told him of my excitement when I first saw it. My first trip.

I told him of my Father's excitement, too.

I told him of The General's order that we not ride it. Then.

I told him that The General is NO Admiral. And hates boats, water (except in swimming pools and to drink) and will not ride anything, ever, which is submerged. In the water.

She didn't want me and my Father to ride.

And told him, "Honey, I don't think you and Mel should do this one!" (except she never EVER called my Father "honey" and she didn't say it like that either. She demanded we skip the ride.)

Because of HER fear.

My Father, I remember, turned his head away from me and muttered a string of expletives under his breath.

Which, frankly, impressed me. At the time.

And then we went to ride 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.

I remember ALL of it. The voice of Captain Nemo, the mermaids, the tight turn, the spill of treasure, the sea monster and... THE GIANT KILLER SQUID!!!!!

AHHHHHHHH! CRAP!!!

And, yet, I still love me some calamari. Perhaps this is the reason.

But... the BEST thing... I remember from my first ride. With my Dad. Was this: He loved it! LOVED IT! I could see it in his face. In his eyes.

And he said to me, "This, Mel, is FANTASTIC! Don't you just LOVE it? What's your favourite part, so far?"

I answered him, "Mommy will never ride it!"

In a tiny squeaky voice.

He laughed! Laughed! Out loud and full-on. Disturbing the other guests... because he was literally screaming. He was laughing that loud.

Ahhhhh!

My Dad.

A fine, fine man.

I miss him. Too much.

Calvin really liked the tale. And wished he had been able to ride it, himself. He also said he really wished he could have met his Grandfather.

And, then, in the entrance to Pooh's Playful Spot. He turned to me and said really really sadly. Like he was about to cry, "I hope my kids get to meet MY DAD."

Then, I felt really sad. And, happy, at the same freakin' time.

I'm a crier and, yet, I could not bring myself to cry in Pooh's Playful Place. TFI.

Whew.

Then we called Beth and Tommy out and looked around for Mellyman.

Because he was LOST. And walking past us towards Toontown.

Big surprise. There.

I called out to him and we headed over to the Teacups.

Everyone did it except Me(l).

It's because of this: I'd totally YAK. Vomit. Upchuck. Hurl. Chowder. And ZZUB. Twice.

Once just in honour of ZZUB.

But I really hate spin-rides. I hate the one in Animal Kingdom too. It's called The Prime-Evil Hurl-a-Whirl.

I think.

I watched them have plenty of fun, tho. Cranking that cup around until they were a white-hot blur of happyhaunt flesh.

Uggghhh.

I may throw up right now. Just from my own description of it.

Then we realized it was time for lunch.

Heh heh.

And we had to do the GREAT DIVIDE. The SPLIT UP. The SEPARATION.

Beth and I were off to tea. At the Grand Floridian.

Mellyman and the boys were off to hunt down and subdue one or two of those gigantasaur Turkey legs.

And practice BUZZ LIGHTYEAR. All by themselves.

Except that Mellyman said that they were heading to Adventureland.

He was lying.

I was darn sure of it.

Me: Mel, can you turn on your phone?
Mellyman: Of course. Can't you?
Me: No... I can't turn on your phone. You know that. It's tricky.
Mellyman: I know. Heh heh.
Me: Ok. Just remember to turn it on. So I can call you from mine and we can meet back up later.
Mellyman: Ok, I'll turn my phone on.
Me: Good, 'cause I won't turn on mine.
Mellyman: Great. See you later, Melancholy Anne.

The sky darkened. That minute. Of that day.

And not because he had referred to me in the way The General does.

But... because it was about to pour. I thought.

I was right.

And Beth and I had to MOTOR.

Down Main. And to the Grand Floridian.



To be continued. Up next: The rain rain rain came down down down.