Am I an evil mom????

[InstImpres]

You certainly are in tough position. I generally don't pull my daughter out of school (maybe one day a year for a wedding or something). But, if I were you, I don;t think I could go without her, so, I would actually tke her out for an extra day before hand - with the deal being it is a strictly study and homework day. At a certain point one extra day out won;'t matter and than the time on school work at DIS can be limited.
Good luck

 

[FFerret]

WOW--that's a tough one!


You definitely do need a trip with just your man--but I wouldn't try doing it to WDW without your daughter. Go somewhere else with him. ANYWHERE else.


Point in case--my family took my cousin who I practically grew up with to DisneyWorld when I was at a girl scout camp, and I NEVER FORGOT THAT!!!!! I've still never been to WDW. And my camp got cancelled midway through because of a hurricane. Did they ever ask me--do you want to go to camp or WDW??? NOOOO!!!!!!


grrrrr...

 

[AKASnowWhite]

Originally posted by FFerret
You definitely do need a trip with just your man--but I wouldn't try doing it to WDW without your daughter. Go somewhere else with him. ANYWHERE else.

Oh I just don't GET all the people who are saying this!

It's not like the child has NEVER been to WDW and will NEVER get another chance to go there with her family! My kids love WDW as much as I do, and yes, they gave me the *that's not fair* spiel......but they got over it! They had a great time with Grandma! She lets them do ALL kinds of things we don't.

Oh- and BTW....they are more *upset* at the possibility of me going to Belgium with DH for a trip than they were about the whole WDW thing. They KNOW how much I love WDW and it won't be long before we all go back, but BELGIUM?!?! when will they get a chance like that!

 

[ivanova]

Again, thanks to EVERYONE for their responses. They are truly appreciated.

Now for an update. My airfare is officially booked (hubby has to go to the airport tonight to pick up the tickets, but the reservation has been made). So now that it is "official" I sat down with my DD last night for a heart-to-heart about this - she knew in advance that we had been considering this & it was dependant on DD's approving the business trip. So it isn't like a dropped a bombshell on her outta nowhere last night....

Either her acting skills are Oscar-worthy or she really doesn't mind mom & dad taking off for a week while she stays in school. I think the fact that she has been to WDW twice now (2 weeks each time) is a major factor (and weekly DL fixes probably help too). I could not fathom going for the "first time" without her (unless she was an infant and too young to remember). But since we were just there last year and nothing major has changed (i.e. Mission Space isn't opening while I'm there), she says she is perfectly fine with it.

She also knows that this trip does not substitute for a family vacation (in that case being left out of the family vacation would suck rocks), and that a family trip will take place later in the year (probably before or after she takes off with my folks for 2 months this summer).

Of course, she threw in the caveat last night that she expects "really cool" WDW souvenirs when we return in March. LOL

 

[Bichon Barb]

Good for you Susan! That is one unspoiled, mature and empathetic kid you have raised. I bet she's happy that mom and dad still enjoy each other's company. What a great lesson "Marriage 101" .

Oh, and I love the souvenir remark.

 

[ivanova]

Yeah, I think she knows there would be NO money for souvenirs if she went ... so she's playing the angle that since she is saving us money by not going (LOL) that she should get some cool stuff out of it (more than a "stupid" T-shirt).

 

[patsal]

YOU ARE NOT EVIL! If you are wanting to go for some alone time and your budget does not allow you to take you child so be it. A disney vacation that does not center on the kids is a great experience as well. You metioned finances as a drawback to bring her as well as missing two weeks of school (with the other trip). I would go and enjoy. You will get rest and relaxation and a few of the other things Disney has to offer, your daughter will bond with her grandparents and not lose any school credit.
If you really want to take her and money is not an issue, take her under a pre organized condition that she must spend designated time on homework or she does nothing.
As parents not everything we do has to be completly centered around our children such that we should be made to feel guilty about doing something wihtout them. Remember you and hubby will be together long after she isn't in your home and you deserve some time to yourselves so that you are not complete strangers when you "meet" again in 6-10 years!

 

[skiwee1]

Originally posted by ivanova
Okay, here's the deal. DH has a business trip (convention) to WDW March 9-15. Due to favorable circumstances, I have a chance to actually tag along this time around. This a full month before 12yoDD's spring break. I don't like the idea of taking her out of school for a full week for the following reasons:

1. she's in 7th grade, 3rd quarter ends 3/28.
2. she'd have a full week of school work given to her the Fri. before we leave (3/7). I can't see us spending 2-4 hours daily in the hotel room working on school work (when she'd rather be doing "cooler" stuff). I foresee a daily battle.
3. I might have to take her out of school for another full week to visit a dying relative in Washington state. If we were only talking one week, I might be talked into it. But 2 separate weeks in a 4 month period doesn't sit well with me.

So, am I an evil mother for having her stay a week with her grandparents so she won't miss school???

No way! This is a great opportunity for you to enjoy WDW without kids and you've got a great excuse for it! I would jump at if I had the chance. Go and have a wonderful time! There will always be other trips to take the kids on.

 

[TRAPPED-PARENT]

I think given that she's been recently, is in middle school and may need to miss additionally school soon .... I'd leave her with the grandparents. My husband's parents just passed away and my father has cancer .... give your daughter the gift of creating some memories with her grandparents while she still has the chance.

Sometimes we do our children a disservice when we give them EVERYTHING they THINK they want even though its against our better judgement.

Have a good time with your husband!

 

[babyblue61]

Trapped--you are so right. We should be teaching children the value of hard work and dedication. I have never been pulled out of school. School is a committment. I cannot imagine taking that committment lightly. Further, when I think of where I am today--a young attorney--I can't imagine thinking on a whim "I have an opportunity to take off for Disney...I can blow off that deposition. I'll just prepare now and conduct it when I get back." No, I would never do that. I am dedicated to my clients to zealously represent them and I take that responsibility very seriously. Just as when I was a student in school (yes, EVEN middle school) I was dedicated to myself--the development of values that would carry me through life. School is no less of a committment than a job, or anything else for that matter. Anyways, that's enough of my opinions...after all, that's all they are...opinions.

 

[susy]

I would take her. If she has to miss school for personal family reasons (is she close with the relative?) she should be able to miss for her own personal enjoyment. As long as she sets aside time each day for her schoolwork (we always take a mid day break, anway). After all, you are going for your own enjoyment.

 

[Lucky4me]

Hi my name is Sue and I AM an evil Mom.

I leave tomorrow for a week in WDW without my 16yo dd. She is almost as much as a Disney freak as I am but she has Regents exams and can't miss any school. I got an opportunity I couldn't pass up and I'm going with my younger daughter.

She already has her guilt Mom list written. It's a list of things she wants me to buy her while I'm down there...

She'll live.

 

[Martha7]

If the trip will be anything like the trips that I have accompanied my husband on, there will be "company" evening activities geared for adults. On the last trip in November, there were dinners every evening, and one company party at Universal Studios after the park closed. They made it very clear that children weren't welcome at these events, and since we have two teen boys, they were happy to stay behind in the hotel, ordering room service and watching TV, after I had run them around the parks all day. It sounds as though either your daughter would be left alone in the room, or you'd have to stay with her. I'd let her stay at home with your in-laws. My in-laws love to spoil the grandchildren and welcome the chance to have them to themselves. Bring her the cool souvenirs, and promise her that you'll take this opportunity to do the "boring" attractions in the world!

 

[CRB#33]

No, As a teacher, I applaud you.

 

[sha_lyn]

No you are not evil. Your daughter is 12, not 2 and she doesn't want to miss school (which I don't believe in taking them out for a vaction anyway) You haven't had a child free vaction in years. I say go for it.

 

[opal]

You absolutely are doing the right thing. We started going to WDW when dd was eight, pulling her out of school. Our last trip during the school year was when she was in eighth grade. It just got to be too hard to make up all the work and she was an honor student! So we started going in the summer to accomodate school responsibilities. She is now a junior in college, we still go once a year (during a school break). She still enyoys this family vacation. We just got back a few weeks ago and on the plane home, she was already working dad over about going again next year! ("After all, Dad, I will be a senior in college and that may be the last family vacation we take together for a long time"LOL) There will be lots of family trips. Enjoy the time along with dh.

 

[Michelle]

No, you are NOT an evil mom, you are a parent going on a trip with your spouse who is going to a business convention.

You are a GOOD PARENT for realizing the importance of school and how hard it would be for your child to miss a week of school at her age. There will be other trips to take with your daughter, I'm sure. I absolutely would go and have your daughter stay with her grandparents for the week.

 

[letfuller]

Ca;l me a killjoy, but leave her with the grandparents. As a teacher, it is difficult for the student and the teacher(s) to pull work together. She would enjoy the trip at another time, as you stated the amount of time for homework. Besides, a little time with grandparents in today's age is a treat. Let your parents (in-laws) have the opportunity to make memories with your daughter. Relish time with your husband. All around, everyone will have wonderful experiences.

 

[sandygirl]

__________________

I agree with the posters who say GO AND HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME. Guilt is highly overrated. This is coming from someone who has taken DD5 EVERYWHERE since the day she was born. Pulled her out of school for DCL and WDW. My opinion has nothing to do with a conflict over taking her out of school or not. I believe that family time, in this day and age, is just as important (my DD is an excellent student).

You do not "owe" your DD a trip to WDW. I'm sure you are a wonderful mother and she has all her basic needs met. You and your husband also have needs and wants and are entitled to fulfill them without feeling guilty. You are not taking the mortgage money and gambling it away in some casino, for heaven's sake.

GO! and do not feel guilty!!!!

 

[disneyjunkie]

Originally posted by WebmasterMichelle
No, you are NOT an evil mom, you are a parent going on a trip with your spouse who is going to a business convention.

You are a GOOD PARENT for realizing the importance of school and how hard it would be for your child to miss a week of school at her age. There will be other trips to take with your daughter, I'm sure. I absolutely would go and have your daughter stay with her grandparents for the week.

You also have a great daughter. How many kids her age would have hit the roof because they couldn't go on the trip?

Good for you for putting school first.

I have tried twice to take my son out of school for a trip to WDW, but just can't bring myself to do it. To me school is way more important than riding Splash Mountain.

Enjoy the time with your husband, and please write a trip report when you return.