Am I an evil mom????

[nutz4dzny]

ivanova - Only you know your child and his/her abilities in school etc.

We have taken our son out of school for 2 weeks at a time evey year since he was 5 yrs. old. We forbid him to do work at WDW. It is a VACATION! Not school. But.......he is an exceptional student and has made up his work every year without fail!

He is 18 this year and accepted into the University of Central Florida in a 7 year accelerated Medical Program where he will wants to eventually be a Pediatic NeuroSurgeon. We cherish those times together and it did not affect him one bit but as I said...only you now your child and his/her abilities to make up the work.

Everyone is different! Good-Luck with your decision and stick by it! You are NOT an evil Mom only a concerned one!

 

[Golter]

I agree with "dcwesley", taking a vacation without your kids is a great thing and it can be to WDW. It emphasizes to your children that it is not all about them. I had as good a time at WDW without my kids as I did with them. It's just a different fun. I look forward to many more trips without the kids. I also look to many more trips with the kids. I didn't feel the least bit guilty....

 

[Bichon Barb]

Remember, OP said money was an important consideration and that she hasn't vacationed alone with DH in years.

Take the vacation with your DH! Your DD was just in Disney in 2002 and 2000 and for 2 weeks each time!

I think your daughter is old enough to understand that you are not only "mom" and "dad" but also "husband and wife". Let her see that you are still in love and that you still can get excited about the prospect of a vacation with each other.

And to ease your guilt, how about taking her for a girls' weekend away somewhere when school gets out? Maybe she could bring a friend (which is way cooler than hanging out with just your parents )

 

[Clover9990]

Given your family's personal circumstances, I'd opt for the getaway with JUST your DH. I have a much younger sister (just turned 14) and I could not imagine her being crushed or devastated if my parents took a trip without her- even if it was to Disney. I'm quite sure there will be plenty of times on your trip that you and/or your DH will think to yourselves, "Gee, Sally would have really liked to see this!" or other melancholy thoughts, but the truth is that I think ALL moms (and dads) think that way and feel some small element of guilt when going anywhere without their kids. I also think it's important for husbands and wives to nuture their relationship as a couple, as opposed to always devoting their energy to their children...now if only I could take my own advice, LOL!!! (DH and I only go out for an evening alone without the kids once-twice a year.)

 

[eeyore0062]

Ivanova, NO! , you are not an evil mom. The reasons for having your DD stay with her grandparents and attend school are sound, and you and your hubby deserve some vacation time together, even if you have to share him with the conference. There will be plenty of other times you will get to have a family vacation... but don't feel guilty about leaving DD at home this time. We have done it, and our 8 yo DD has been fine with it. In fact, we will be down in the WDW area on business at the same time as you, and she will be home with her cousin and uncle going to school.

Have a great time!

 

[babyblue61]

good for you! I am in my mid-to-late 20's. My mother never took us out of school for a vacation and I am so happy about that. She instilled the value of hard-work and dedication in me and I subsequently went to an top-tier college and excellent law school. Today, I fund my own trips to Disney once a year. However, that being said, if your child is older and has work ethic and dedication--and only you know this, we do not--I'd say you could reward her with the trip. I guess I'd just be hesitant to take a younger child out of school when thinking toward managing expectations and grooming them, but these are just my thoughts. Maybe I'll feel differently when I have children of my own. I'm sure you'll make the right decision because only you know your child. Have a wonderful trip!!

 

[Patpat15]

If you want to be alone with your husband because you haven't had a vacation with him in a long time, leave her home. Explain it to her, she will understand. My daughter is also in 7th grade and when I tell her we need adult time she totally understands! For some strange reason, daughters and sons understand that! They want you to be together and have adult alone time! (I think it kind of frees them from guilt or something).

But if that doesn't matter, being alone with your husband, I would take her. Seventh grade is still pretty young. I am a high school teacher and believe me, school in 9-12 grade is tough, I would never pull them out of school then, one week is like losing a month of work. However, in seventh grade, the pressure is not that intense yet. If your husband and you want to take her.....do it. Don't let school be a factor at all. (this is only my opinion). School will get tougher. Middle school kids don't have that kind of pressure yet. Colleges look mainly at 9-12 grade.

Let her be a kid!

Life is too short!

But there is nothing wrong with going away with your husband, either. I think you'll be surprized how understanding she will be with that.

We also bring our kids there so often, every other year, that the kids don't need to always go every time!

 

[DisneyDude10171]

speaking as a 17 year old senior from one of the nation's 10 most rigerous schools, I missed several days last month for a WDW visit. Making up work from my numerous AP classes was not that big a deal. Make sure she is able to get as much work out of the way ahead of time and the rest should fall into place. Even though the quarter will be ending soon, the worst that could happen is that she will receive an "incomplete" until making up the requested work.

 

[ASFCurly]

I think that you should talk to the school, if they are ok with the possibility of her missing 2 weeks of school in that time period, and she is an ok student (it won't hurt her terribly to miss the school) then leave it up to her, if you want her to do two hours of work a day then tell her she can come as long as she does it, and have a sort of a consequence if she doesn't do it.

 

[BrerMom]

If she hadn't been I'd take her. Since she has been - for two weeks even! - relatively recently, that doesn't seem to be an issue.

The kids that I see that are the happiest have parents that enjoy each other's company. What better way to nurture a marriage than at Disney World?

If you want to take her, take her. But don't feel guilty for letting her enjoy a week with her grandparents, either. Just my opinion, of course.

 

[DVC California]

If your husband's conference is anything like the one's I attend, you may not have as much time together as you think. Maybe breakfast together and dinner/evenings. During the day he will be attending seminars, visiting vendors, and networking with business associates.

You may wish DD came along to keep YOU comapny in the parks! Spending 1 hour every morning and every evening is not that big a dent into the day.

As others have said... Life is short, enjoy every minute of it.

And no, you are not evil if you go as a couple. Just remember to bring her back a "stupid" T-shirt from you fun trip!!!


My two cents, Steve

 

[Jordan's MOM]

No matter what you decide you are not evil. You might not be too popular with your DD, but not evil. That said as long as her grades are good, I would take her as long as it is her decision and she is willing to make up the work.
Yes, all parents need time away from their kids. We however have made our DS the promise that our trips alone will not be to WDW. Don't think any of us could stand that.
sounds like a tough decission.Good luck.


Jordan's mom

 

[raidermatt]

As others have said, I don't think this is a case of good or evil.

That said...

No, I would not take her out of school.

No, I would not go either.

 

[Kallison]

She has had several recent 2 weeks trips and goes to DL on a regular basis. Go to Disney with your DH and enjoy yourself, just don't let her know how much time you spend in the parks.

My Dh has had several conferences at WDW, I've never gone, this October I'm going. The 7th grader refuses to miss school and I refuse to take the two younger ones without him. We will go as a family in August. I will have lots of time alone, planning on doing a Keys to the Kingdom tour. Also planning on absolutely fibbing to our kids about the time we spend in the park. DH never goes into a park w/o us (or so he says!!). Go and have fun, your DD does not sound Disney deprived in the least.

 

[Gabrielle]

Since she was there in 2002 for 2 weeks....and because the trip is so close to the end of the 3rd quarter....I would leave her with the grandparents. Go have a good time, guilt-free!

 

[disboo]

You get to choose because you are the parent! And from your posts, I think you are a thoughtful and loving parent.

I come down on the "go on your own" side, because that is what would be my choice in my family.
- My husband and I value our together time
- I think missing school in middle school can throw my kids for a loop
- We spend a lot of time together as a family at home
- My kids have been to WDW and will go again, AND
- They love time with their grandparents.

You are wise to think this through carefully!

 

[Lyon_King]

Just my 2 cents. I'm 26, but I have younger siblings still in college. My family wants to go but are afraid that they'll miss too much, so I'm very familliar with the situation (I told them to take the kids out of school). On another note, I just went down in October with my girlfriend's entire family. Some of the kids left early so they did not miss too much school. I'm not sure if that's an option for you, but it might be something to consider.

I personally would have been quite upset in middle school if my parents went without me. (Actually we went every other October for a week when I was in middle school)

Is it possible to sit down with her and review the future chapters in the textbook before you go, this would decrease the amount of work she must do while on vacation, plus it gives her the opportunity to ask the teacher questions on the subject before she goes.

I take classes at night for fun and frequently have to go away for weeks at a time. That is what I do, read ahead and ask questions before I go. Doing this has not affected my grades, but then again 7th grade can be more difficult than college some times.

 

[AKASnowWhite]

We had a similar situation, where DH had a conference at the Dolphin! He had to leave over the weekend, I joined him on Monday morning, leaving the kids with Grandma. We stayed through Friday and had a GREAT time!

I spent some time alone in the parks for a couple of days - I cannot tell you how RELAXING that was! Then DH and I did things together in the evenings, sometimes with his co-workers, sometimes not.....it was wonderful.

So much of our lives are spent taking care of our families, that sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves and our MARRIAGE! One of these days the kids will be grown and gone, and I'd like to think that my husband and I will still have something in common when that day comes! I hate the thought of us sitting down alone and realizing that we haven't taken the time to KNOW and APPRECIATE each other as a person, not as parents.

Your not evil, your not selfish. A happy mom and a happy marriage will make for a happy family. Go, enjoy yourself without the guilt.

 

[beattyfamily]

I personally could NEVER go to WDW without my children UNLESS they were adults and didn't want to join us anymore.

That's just how we are. Maybe someday we'd have a trip without our children BUT it wouldn't be WDW. That would just break their hearts.

I'd rather not go at all than go without them.

That doesn't mean you are evil, though, you just have a different opnion/situation than we do.

Good luck!

 

[Dancind]

I also have an only child, a daughter who will be 12 in April. Wow, I can't imagine going without her, but we're a team. At this age, I cherish any opportunity to solidify our relationship as she approaches the teen years. I mean, how much longer is she going to want to hang out with Mom? Plus, we have no family to leave her with as you do. Dad actually gets left out, we did a Mother/daughter trip last August, but he gets to go on a scuba trip next summer solo. My DD is very smart, but has learning disabilities that make homework an ordeal for her. So I know what you mean about the "pain" of getting them to do the work. We took her out of school for four days last October to do the Disney Cruise. I wrote all the teachers well in advance, and they were all supportive. Except the chorus teacher, but that's another story. The only homework she really had to do was the week's worth of enriched math. She spent some time on the plane doing it, and we took a few hours one morning on the ship to get the rest done. I helped, but she was pretty motivated! I can also understand wanting a getaway with your husband. I'm looking forward to a week at Beach Club Villas for the Wine & Food Festival. Maybe DD won't mind if we do that once she's in college! Diana