Ahhhh, possible Disney trip could be ruined

[Minnie1156]

If you were my son, you would not be going. Ever 18 is too young to be traveling 10 hours with no adults(real adults).

 

[drogerstn]

:...Skipping work for a few days is called taking annual leave in the real world...

Huh? Not showing up for work when scheduled to work without a legitmate reason is completely different than taking a scheduled leave...at least from workplaces I'm familiar with.

 

[XxStaceFacexX]

Just a few things, I'm still considered a "kid" myself at age 22. IMO I went at 17 with 3 other friends who were older as a graduation present. My parents were ok with it because they knew the people I was going with. I went back with a friend my age (we were 20) and they would not let us check into the Holiday Inn.. We were then sent to the Days Inn where things were being stolen and we were awoken with screams in the middle of the night so we quickly packed up and our parents called disney and they allowed us to stay at the All Star Sports resort only being 20 years old, so if his friend is 18 then they should have no problem staying on Disney property.

As far as the missing school goes if he's 17 then chances are he graduates in May/ June and being a month and a half away from that the schools (atleast around here) understand the whole senioritis thing and once they're accepted into college and have thier credits for graduation they don't usually give seniors a hard time about missing a few days in the last months (I know my school was ok with that).

I remember wanting badly to take trips with my friends and I'm still that way. It could be a very memorable experience and as far as them being two responsible consenting adults (friends or more) they would have to worry about bringing home "souvenirs" with or without Disney if they were going to be irresponsible in terms of that.

 

[Kath2003]

At 17, I went on a WEEK long vacation (5 hours car drive) with THREE friends (2 girls, another girl and me).

At 18, I went on a 4-day vacation abroad with a male friend.

My parents asked for emergency contact numbers and wished me well.

Oh and don't forget, in the UK you can drink at 18 and most places are fairly relaxed about checking ID so yes, we had alcohol on both trips.

Guess what? It all worked out just fine - we had a blast.

HAVE FUN!!!

PS I don't see how people can be prepared to send their kids off to college and LIVE a whole other state at 18 but not be prepared to allow them to take a short trip at 17? At 18 I moved half way across the UK to go to University - thank God I'd not been sheltered enough to never go anywhere else by myself before or I'd have been totally shell-shocked.

 

[XxStaceFacexX]

If you were my son, you would not be going. Ever 18 is too young to be traveling 10 hours with no adults(real adults).

I disagree..we have 18 year olds voting for president and fighting in Iraq so I dont think a Disney World trip is the worst thing a 17 year old can want to do. Look at the news now with that Natalee Hollaway girl missing from Aruba. She was off irresponsibly and doing stupid things with foreign people she didn't know and now it's almost a year later and we still cant get the story straight. My family has time share there and were there last year when she disappeared. If he's mature enough to handle it his parents will know and I'm sure that he will be able to go.

 

[TommyTutone]

Despite what some others may think (I am relucant to use the term 'stick in the mud', but it lingers), this is an awesome once in a lifetime opportunity and I wish you the best of luck!

You are only a teenager once, and making memories like what this trip will provide is what life is all about. I still remember my high school road trip fondly: driving the coast of New England with a buddy, stopping at every putt putt course along the way, and then forced to spend the night in Freeport, Maine because of headlights not working, so we hung out at LL Bean until the garage opened the next day.

As long as you demonstrate your responsibility in paying for the trip (whatever you agreed to and not just depending on your folks), being safe with your friend (assuming a sexual relationship), and not being a total screw up in school (make sure you get the homework/studying done), then I see nothing wrong with the trip if you can get your parents' okay!

 

[DVCLiz]

Huh? Not showing up for work when scheduled to work without a legitmate reason is completely different than taking a scheduled leave...at least from workplaces I'm familiar with.

Nothing in the OP's post made any reference to skipping work. When the poster I quoted made her comments, she brought a work analogy into the discussion. I don't agree that missing a couple of days of school is the same as skipping work. My comment was directed at that reference, in order to disagree with that poster, who made it sound like the OP was simply skipping out on "work" and would do the same in a real job. My point was that in a real job, there are ways to be gone from work legitimately.

OP, I hope you get to take your trip. I'm surprised some kids EVER grow up, the way some parents keep control over them.

 

[Paging Tom Morrow]

Gee, if I had asked my father if I could take a trip like that when I was 17 (15 years ago), he would have hit me so hard it would still be hurting.

My $.02 - it's almost May 1st, you are less than 2 months from the end of classes - why is there a need to miss class? Wait until school is finished and then, with and only with your parent's blessing, go and have a good time.

 

[Tissa]

Good Luck and have a great trip if your parents agree to it.

 

[FigNewton]

Heh, all this "stay in school you fool!" rhetoric is funny. 17 and 18 year olds are likely seniors. At this point the SATs are long since taken, the college applications are in, likely even acceptance and/or scholarship letters are in hand. Missing two days? No one's flunking out at this point over two days.

And it's not like education is unimportant to me - I was very serious in high school and was the only one in my graduating class with a 4.0, and remained very serious through out college devoting lots of time to study and classwork. I'm not the kind of person that scoffs at the importance of education.

All these assumptions and looking down on the kid, when people don't know his situation and every indication says he's only going to do it with his parents permission.

 

[Epcot242]

I'm in your age group (I'm 18) and I had something similar planned to what you have planned for yourself, but I was going with three friends. Like you, my parents shrugged it off when I first mentioned it, but when I continued to talk about it they began to take it seriously. After about a month of planning and scheming (never actually making reservations) a few problems rose. One, the money I was planning on using for the trip had to be used for something else; two, my parents still weren't too keen on the whole idea; and three, I live in PA so my choices were either fly down (and I'm not a big fan of flying) or driving - and that's about a 24 hour drive. Now, the trip has been cancelled, at least for me, and surprisingly, I'm OK with it. I understand that feeling of independence that you're probably experiencing and it's a really nice one too. But thinking about it - 24 hours away from home, all on my own with just my friends - actually freaked me out a bit. I felt like I was taking on too much at once. So I decided maybe a closer trip would be better (something like going down to VA to Busch Gardens). Something like that would be easier to start with.
I think it really depends on you. If you're willing to do it and you have the means to do it then go for it. But consider everything before leaving and really put some thought into it. I was sort of disappointed when I cancelled, but it passed and now I'm fine. Whatever you choose, good luck with it!

 

[LisaNJ25]

Just remember: Don't be a fool, cover your tool.

SO true.

If you do go have a good time and be careful.

At 17 I was out of my parents house and expecting my first child.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

OP, I hope you get to take your trip. I'm surprised some kids EVER grow up, the way some parents keep control over them.

I completely agree here. I find it very interesting (and somewhat disturbing) that in our country teens are expected to be dependent up until their 18th birthdays and then SUDDENLY become adults who can do as they please. We don't have a very good system of training for the "real world" in our schools or in our society in general. I don't think we're serving our children well when we shelter them and don't give them the tools and SOMETIMES the freedom to learn to do things for themselves, make plans, set reasonable goals, etc. I also think it's a shame that people automatically assume that two teenagers of the opposite sex are HAVING sex. That's just silly, and somewhat insulting. I know, I know...people feel very strongly that THEIR children will not be allowed to do what the OP is suggesting, for a variety of reasons. I'm just saying that I don't understand why we (general we) get so worked up about this type of thing. If his parents don't let him go, then they won't let him. Nothing any of us can do about that. But I think it's crazy that, as one poster already pointed out, the OP could be dying in Iraq, voting, legally smoking, and going anywhere he darn well pleases in less than a year. It just doesn't make sense.
My guy is really little right now, but you can bet that I'd let him take such a well-planned trip with a friend at age 17, unless he is just SUPER immature or irresponsible at that age (which would make me feel like I hadn't done my job as a mother, quite frankly). I'd set some conditions, such as twice-daily phone check-in, and of course I'd have to know the other teen and his/her family well and know that there are no "problems" brewing there, such as alcohol or drug use, etc. But I think it sounds like a lot of fun and it's something that could greatly increase a young man's sense of personal responsibility and ability to make his own way in the world. I was allowed to go on camping trips, to Disneyland, and pretty much all over the State of California for weekends or weeklong trips (with girls AND boys, gasp!) when I was 16-17, and I did not become a pregnant dropout. I graduated college in 4 years, went to graduate school, didn't get married until I was 29, and didn't get pregnant/have a child until I was 32. I am very responsible and don't rely on my parents financially or otherwise. I am very glad I had the TRUST and opportunities I did to grow as a person in my young adulthood! At 17 I was certainly not a baby!
Good luck OP! Keep us updated!

 

[jjarman]

Well, I guess I get to post a dissenting opinion so I will don my flame proof suit.

You are 17--you are a minor. Your parents are 100% responsible for your care and well being until you are 18. They are also responsible for making sure you attend school--in some districts parents can be put in jail if their child has unexcused absences. You live under their roof, and they take care of you financially--you live with their rules. If they tell you you can't go, then the mature thing to do is to respect their decision and wait until you are 18 AND living on your own, AND completely supporting yourself to do things they don't agree with. Unless you turn 17 today, that is less than a year to wait. Learning to delay gratification is a sign of responsibility and maturity. Disney will still be there--not sure if the girl will, but another one will come along.

I won't even go into the moral aspects of a 3 night hotel stay with a member of the opposite sex and the possible future complications of that. Yes, it seems fun and cute now to play "grown up" and get a hotel and go on a vacation and all that, but you aren't grown up. And when you do grow up you will find out that you can't just "skip" work (right now school is your work) for a few days because you REALLY want to go and have fun instead of living up to your responsibilities as a man. Perhaps your parents are trying to teach you this valuable lesson.

As a parent I would be really angry to find out that total strangers are encouraging my minor child to disobey my household rules. In fact, in my home, it would result in loss of all computer privileges for that child at the very least.

Cancel your plans, stay in school and after you graduate go to college or get a job. Go to Disney with your family (current or future) or after you are completely self sufficient. I waited 33 years for my first trip to WDW (and whined and cried and schemed for years before that to try to get to go). Sharing my "first time" with my husband and 2 children was WAY more gratifying than a "quickie" trip with just anybody would have been. And it sounds likely you have been before so it isn't your "first time". You can wait.

That is the sign of a true man worthy of his parents trust and respect.

I totally agree with you. I have an almost 16 year old son and I would have a duck fit if he did something like this. Fortunately, he is pretty level headed and we are planning our 3rd trip for next March so he does get a Disney fix every now and then. I just wonder how they are getting there? Are they going in his car or hers? I doubt he bought that car or his name is on the title. Take the keys. Do her parents know anything about this? If they are like the parents of my son's female friends they would shoot him if he took their daughter off like that.

 

[skiingwife]

No way would I let my 17 year old son take a 10 hour trip, out of State, in a car, with an 18 year old girl. I would be so worried about their safety. Plus with college just around the corner, the money spent on this trip would be better used on tuition. Sorry, but I would have to tell you no.
On the other hand, my husband and I might be happy to accompany the two of them on a family trip, but I can't see two teenagers doing it alone.

 

[Kath2003]

No way would I let my 17 year old son take a 10 hour trip, out of State, in a car, with an 18 year old girl. I would be so worried about their safety. Plus with college just around the corner, the money spent on this trip would be better used on tuition. Sorry, but I would have to tell you no.
On the other hand, my husband and I might be happy to accompany the two of them on a family trip, but I can't see two teenagers doing it alone.

So, it's not OK to take a 4 day trip out of state at 17 but "just around the corner" it's OK to pack them off to college and wave goodbye for the entire semester?

 

[FigNewton]

I totally agree with you. I have an almost 16 year old son and I would have a duck fit if he did something like this. Fortunately, he is pretty level headed and we are planning our 3rd trip for next March so he does get a Disney fix every now and then. I just wonder how they are getting there? Are they going in his car or hers? I doubt he bought that car or his name is on the title. Take the keys. Do her parents know anything about this? If they are like the parents of my son's female friends they would shoot him if he took their daughter off like that.

... Man you seriously need to get some perspective. The kid isn't doing ANYTHING half-cocked.

He told his parents what he was planning.

They didn't express issues with it. This is what we call implied consent.

He made the plans and they were stunned he was actually doing it.

In retrospect, the kid realizes they didn't take him seriously, and most importantly -- catch this, it IS important -- he might not get to go now! (translation: he won't go if his parents say no!)

Take his keys? Whatever in the world for? He's not planning on running away to Disney World for goodness sake!

And "took their daughter off"??? You're not only implying that he's running off to WDW, you're making it sound like he intends to abscond with their child in the middle of the night. And again, you are doing so with absolutely no reason to believe the girl doesn't have her parents permission to go!

Why do you people insist on casting such a poor light on this kid's intentions?

 

[dwkwootton]

Just to repeat, even though one of the kids is 18 or over, the 17 yr old will absolutely need a notarized permission slip signed by the parent to stay on Disney property. Did this very drill 2 yrs ago so I am quite sure! (With the difference being that my 17 yr old daughter flew down to WDW with her 2 best platonic friends, both 18 yr old males as a high school graduation gift from the parents).

 

[TinkerbellMama]

...
And "took their daughter off"??? You're not only implying that he's running off to WDW, you're making it sound like he intends to abscond with their child in the middle of the night. And again, you are doing so with absolutely no reason to believe the girl doesn't have her parents permission to go!

Why do you people insist on casting such a poor light on this kid's intentions?

Not to mention that she doesn't NEED her parents' permission! At 18, she is a legal adult. She has JUST AS MANY legal rights as I do at age 33! [ETA: I forgot to mention the exception of the drinking age being 21, which I personally find strange] Shocking, huh? Yes, her parents could raise heck about it. But they can't prevent her from going. That would be called KIDNAPPING. Yes, I'm exaggerating the situation to a great degree, because I don't believe it's going to come to an actual physical scuffle between these "kids" and their parents. I'm just pointing out that people have some very interesting ideas about what constitutes childhood/adulthood. Someone else even stated that 18 year olds aren't "real" adults. Um, the term "adult" is a legal construct, anyway. In most societies there either isn't such a divide between childhood and adulthood (not always positive, but still), or if there is, it comes at a MUCH earlier age and through ritual.

I think people in this country, while promoting independence, personal responsibility, and freedom, are somewhat overwhelmed by just HOW FREE we really are, and might want to protect their children from some of the negative consequences of poor decisions. Understandable, but this isn't really the absolute answer to the problem. It can be daunting, for sure, but if our "kids" never learn to navigate the adult world while still at home and under parental guidance, there is no reason to think they can do it all of a sudden when they turn 18 or go off to college.

 

[Kath2003]

This is exactly the point. He's 17, which means he'll be college age in a year. It's not ok for him to go on a 4-day trip to WDW because he's a "minor" but in a year he'll be going to college where he'll be exposed to sex (yes, plenty of this goes on in college), drugs (yes, you will get exposed to plenty of opportunities to buy drugs) and alcohol (yes, being 18 doesn't matter when someone has a keg party). You want to send your child out to experience all this, AS WELL as the delights of living alone (getting to class on time, learning to manage your time, feed yourself, clean up after yourself, being sick all alone) with NO ONE to bail your child out, with NO experience of what it's like to go somewhere new by themselves, to fend for themselves for a few days and to be given the responsibility for their own actions?!

You can tell who the sheltered kids are at college - they're the ones throwing up in the gardens on the night of the first party, the ones who wake up with three naked guys in their room and no idea what went on, the ones who experiement with pot etc. - ALL because it's so "novel" to be left to their own devices that they have NO IDEA how to take responsibility for their actions or how to manage unfamiliar situations.