Ahhhh, possible Disney trip could be ruined

[skiingwife]

So, it's not OK to take a 4 day trip out of state at 17 but "just around the corner" it's OK to pack them off to college and wave goodbye for the entire semester?

Yes, it's a big difference. When my son goes off to college, I will be taking him there and helping him move in. Most parents do that. I'll know where he's going to be. And most likely, his college will be either 40 minutes or 1 1/2 hours away. Way different than an unfamiliar 10 hour drive on his own. How many teenagers die in automobile accidents? I can name several kids who have died in my small town alone. It happens every day.

 

[TinkerbellMama]

You can tell who the sheltered kids are at college - they're the ones throwing up in the gardens on the night of the first party, the ones who wake up with three naked guys in their room and no idea what went on, the ones who experiement with pot etc. - ALL because it's so "novel" to be left to their own devices that they have NO IDEA how to take responsibility for their actions or how to manage unfamiliar situations.

At my school, quite a few of them also could not do their own laundry, handle a checking account (I worked at the campus credit union so I saw this one A LOT), or manage their time wisely enough to get their work completed on time. It was pretty sad.

 

[drogerstn]

College OP never mentioned anything about going to college...

 

[TinkerbellMama]

Yes, it's a big difference. When my son goes off to college, I will be taking him there and helping him move in. Most parents do that. I'll know where he's going to be. And most likely, his college will be either 40 minutes or 1 1/2 hours away. Way different than an unfamiliar 10 hour drive on his own. How many teenagers die in automobile accidents? I can name several kids who have died in my small town alone. It happens every day.

I am truly not trying to be rude, but if you think you know where he will be and what he'll be up to the entire time he's away at college, I'm afraid you either didn't attend college yourself or have chosen not to think about that aspect of it. (And honestly, I can understand the latter inclination--I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing.)

Also, most people who are in car accidents are within a few miles of their homes. It seems that you are more worried about the transportation safety issue, from your reply, but I can't believe that is the case. Maybe I am confused. At any rate, you said yourself that several teenagers have died in your hometown. Were they on 10-hour roadtrips at the time? I'm guessing not.

 

[soupy11]

This thread is pretty intense.

I get the feeling a few unnamed parents here would be happy with house arrest for this kid and 24 hour surveillance. Maybe weekly blood tests for Dole Whips?

 

[Del]

I wasn't even allowed to date at 17!

 

[Kath2003]

Yes, it's a big difference. When my son goes off to college, I will be taking him there and helping him move in. Most parents do that. I'll know where he's going to be. And most likely, his college will be either 40 minutes or 1 1/2 hours away. Way different than an unfamiliar 10 hour drive on his own. How many teenagers die in automobile accidents? I can name several kids who have died in my small town alone. It happens every day.

I realise most parents help them move in etc. but that's not really the issue. The issue is that your son will be away from home, 24-7 for several weeks. You're not going to know where he is or who he's seeing or what he's doing and with whom. Are you gonna go down there and bail him out every time he can't do his washing, he burns his dinner, he gets smashed at a party, wakes up in someone else's room? You have to TRUST your son to do the right thing, and the only way people learn to do the right thing is through experience. Going on a 4-day vacation out of state is GREAT experience for a 17 year old - it'll prepare him well for college, teach him about being in a strange place, taking sensible precautions (from suncream to condoms) and to take responsibility for his own actions (managing money, having appropriate documents etc.). He's asking to go to DISNEY, not to a 4-day rave!

 

[LuvTony0508]

I'm a pretty liberal thinker, and I think it took a bit of maturity to plan a trip like this, but... Oh heck, if the parents say it's okay and they trust their kids, I say have fun. Life is so short and so full of danger, where is the happiest, safest place on Earth??? WDW would be my best guess. As for the "moral" implications, is a trip to WDW going to morally bankrupt them? My guess, if they are intimate, this trip probably wouldn't be their first time. We live in such a time where everything we do, everything our kids do is a risk, these two people could be crossing a street and get cut down in the prime of their lives. Are they trustworthy? Are they good students? Are they mature? These are things the parents have to confirm and make peace with their decision. I have a 2 yr old and a 10 yr old, we can't blanket answer that these kids don't deserve to go. I know if my daughter came to me (in seven years) asking to go to disney on a 10 hour trek, I might say NO WAY, but depending on how well I do my job, she might be able to go. It is a risky world we live in, but look at Aruba, Natalee Holoway was with "responsible" adults and we still don't know what happened to her.
Just my $.02.

 

[drogerstn]

... We live in such a time where everything we do, everything our kids do is a risk, these two people could be crossing a street and get cut down in the prime of their lives...

Not just the time we are living now; its been this way since the dawn of time...

To the OP, good luck with your plans. If your parents won't agree to it, maybe they'll at least come up with a good compromise...

 

[qtwns]

Okay, I'm planning to go to Disney World with my friend (18) and I told my parents that i was gonna plan one, and i guess they didn't believe me, cause when I told them that we had everything ready to go, they were a little stunned. Okay, I'm a 17 year old boy and she's an 18 year old girl, and we're planning to drive 10 hours and spend 3 nights alone and miss 2 days of school. I know that sounds EXTREMELY outraguous, but I really wanna go. I just wanted to ask ya'll to pray for me that I'm able to go. BTW I'm somewhat of a Disney buff and she's been once when she was 10 and didn't ride anything, so I'm gonna really enjoy introducing her to everything. So pray for me, hahaha!!

I'm not going to pray that you be able to go, but if your parents agree to the trip, I will pray that you both stay safe and use wise judgement on your trip. And you should pray the same thing.

 

[DisFlan]

yeaitspootie - who is paying for this trip?


DisFlan

 

[memymomonica]

I am the only one that thinks it is funny that most people disagree mainly because it is a guy and a girl. So many minds went straight to sex. Did you ever stop to think that one or both of them could be gay? Or call me crazy.....just Friends! Is it that big of a shock that 2 people of the opposite sex could hang out for 4 days and sex not be an issue. I had "guy" friends in high school that were like my brothers. I would have never thought of being intimate with one of them, but hanging out at WDW for 4 days is another story. I think it is sad that everyone immediately jumps to conclusions.

I have to think that this trip has nothing to do with sex. If that was all they wanted, I'm sure there are a million opportunites at home or close to. I traveled as a teenager. Had amazing experiences. If I really wanted to get in to trouble there were plenty of chances much closer to home.

 

[maccalovah]

This thread is pretty intense.

I get the feeling a few unnamed parents here would be happy with house arrest for this kid and 24 hour surveillance. Maybe weekly blood tests for Dole Whips?

that has to be the funniest thing i've read in awhile- thanks

i read most of this thread with a face like this- i can't believe how bent out of shape so many people are getting over this topic. when i was 17, i actually went on a spring break trip to disney with 4 of my friends (and by the way, i did not need a notarized permission slip in order to stay in the hotel). granted, we were all girls, but i don't see how that makes a bit of difference. my best friend is a guy, and believe me, there has never EVER been a sexual aspect to our relationship- so yes, it is possible that the OP is just FRIENDS with this girl.
i also did not get the impression that the OP was planning on going on the trip regardless of what his parents say. he's just HOPING they will say yes, so he will be able to go.
also, the argument about 'wait until you're married and take your family to disney' is....interesting. this isn't an abstinence debate, is it? it was made to sound like the OP would be losing their virginity, instead of just taking a trip to disney. come on!

Sarah

 

[Pedler]

yeaitspootie - who is paying for this trip?


DisFlan

That's my question. Seting aside all the morality stuff and missing school for me it would take just a few simple answers to some questions about the money.

First if the kids are paying for it themselves and are planning on being independent from mom and dad going forward then setting aside the other arguments I would say what the heck.

If on the other hand the parents are being asked to foot the bill or even if the kids are paying but still going to rely on mom and dad for support later on then I would say no way. My thought process on this is simple. A WDW trip is a luxury item. Its not a must have, (OK maybe to some here it is. ) and it is a costly item. If it was my kid at this age its time to start thinking about transitioning who pays for things. I am not talking about automatically sending the kids rent bills or whatever but if they have enough money to afford a luxury like a WDW vacation then they should also have enough money to start to pay for room and board or tuition. One of the things I struggle with, and our kids are younger, is not just if we can afford to give our kids things but if it is appropriate to give them some things even if cost isn't an issue. Just my .02.

 

[wdwguide]

I am not talking about automatically sending the kids rent bills or whatever but if they have enough money to afford a luxury like a WDW vacation then they should also have enough money to start to pay for room and board or tuition.

I think you overestimate the cost of this kind of Disney vacation - they can do this for well under $400/person, which is very reasonable for someone that age IMHO (and less than a month of rent/less than tuition for one single class). I expect/hope they are planning to pay for it by themselves - as a parent I'd certainly let them go, but if they expected me to pay I'd just laugh at their face.

 

[DisFlan]

That's my question. Seting aside all the morality stuff and missing school for me it would take just a few simple answers to some questions about the money.

First if the kids are paying for it themselves and are planning on being independent from mom and dad going forward then setting aside the other arguments I would say what the heck.

If on the other hand the parents are being asked to foot the bill or even if the kids are paying but still going to rely on mom and dad for support later on then I would say no way. My thought process on this is simple. A WDW trip is a luxury item. Its not a must have, (OK maybe to some here it is. ) and it is a costly item. If it was my kid at this age its time to start thinking about transitioning who pays for things. I am not talking about automatically sending the kids rent bills or whatever but if they have enough money to afford a luxury like a WDW vacation then they should also have enough money to start to pay for room and board or tuition. One of the things I struggle with, and our kids are younger, is not just if we can afford to give our kids things but if it is appropriate to give them some things even if cost isn't an issue. Just my .02.

Yup. The morality side of this doesn't really worry me much - that's up to the family to decide. But if these kids are expecting the Parental Units to kick in bucks even though they are against the trip, then no. No way.

If the kids raised the funds themselves, then a cautious maybe. Personally, if it was my kid, I'd rather see the money put toward college or the future in general. Now, THAT would prove some maturity - at least to me.

The OP still has to realize that if he's under 18 when (if) he gets there, he's underage. Assuming he's planning to stay on-site, Disney still may not let him check in without a parent or guardian present - even if he has a "pass" from his parents. He'll be sharing a hotel room with an "adult" female he's not related to. This isn't a situation most Disney hotel managers like to see. I'm sure there are a number of hotels/motels in Orlando that would look the other way.


DisFlan

 

[GEM]

Just to repeat, even though one of the kids is 18 or over, the 17 yr old will absolutely need a notarized permission slip signed by the parent to stay on Disney property. Did this very drill 2 yrs ago so I am quite sure! (With the difference being that my 17 yr old daughter flew down to WDW with her 2 best platonic friends, both 18 yr old males as a high school graduation gift from the parents).

I've taken numerous groups of kids and teenagers without their parents for different trips (acting, music, etc.) and I've never ever had to have a notarized from from their parents. As long as the person who's name the reservation is in is 18, they don't need anything from the others in the room at all - at least that's always been my experience, and I always travel as the sole adult with 10 or so kids.

And, my babysitter just got back from a spring break trip with her best friend. She's an 18 year old college freshman and she took her friend, a 17 year old high school senior. No notarized form or anything like that, she says. I just asked.

 

[karakaka]

I am 18 and live about 4 hours from disney. My friends (both male and female) and i drive up for weekend and day trips at least once a month. It is just fun! I hope you get to go and have an awesome time! Going to disney with friends is an amazing experience.

 

[yeaitspootie]

Hahaha, hello people. I had no idea I would get this many responses. To answer some questions, my friend and I are fully paying for the trip ourselves. Also, we have been friends for 4 years and there is absolutely no sexual attraction at all. I am a junior in college, so I wouldn't be missing some of the most important school days. My friend will be out of school by the time the trip rolls around. As I said before, I probably would say no if I was a parent, but, I'm hoping my parents will trust me. Thanks for your interest!!

 

[ChickieToo]

I agree with Pedlers post. But I have a more complex take on this. For me, this question is multi-faceted. It's about more than the money. Its about teaching responsibility and what a 17 year old is really ready for.

True he may be off to college next September, out from under his parents control, and free to make his own decisions. But that isn't really the point. At that time in his life he will have many balls to juggle: mixing his new-found freedom with passing his classes and making friends, maybe working, making sure he has clean (or at least semi-clean) clothes, not spending his whole budget in one weekend, etc. He will need to exercise good judgement to make his life work. He may stay out and party all night, and that may be his "right", but he better pass his classes, or his parents may cut off tuition.

In this instance he didn't show good judgement. Good judgement would have been to plan the trip around school (like memorial day weekend) to show that his priorities are in order. Or to tell his parent "I know you thought I was kidding, but I'm really planning this trip ..." so they weren't blindsided. To get responsibility you have to show responsibility. I also believe a 10 hour car trip with two teenagers--one a minor--can be a recipe for disaster. Let's face it--we've all been there and in my experience (as a driver and a passenger), all I can say is that God was watching out for us. Kids think they are invincible and that leads to risky behavior. I don't know about you, but driving down the interstate now that I'm in my forties is a much safer experience than it was when I was 17. I don't know what the $ situation is either, but as far as my 17 year old driving 10 hours in a car registered and insured in my name? I don't think so.

Bottom line, like it or not, we are our kids' keepers. And it's true, different kids have different responsibility levels. Ultimately his parents will have to rule on what they think is in his best interest.

And for the record, I would have loved to do this at 17, but it just wouldn't have flown in my house with my parents.