agree to disagree? gray areas everywhere

[Jaime4004]

I served on a jury when my daughter was in half day Kindergarten. I made arragnements since I had plenty of time to do so. You couldn't do that? Or is that too much of an inconvenience for you? Really, you have not made a friend in your child's class that he/she could go to after school? Could your daughter miss school for a day? Really, it seems like you don't want to be inconvienced or change your routine to do your civic duty. You are really not th only one with children. Sometimes we have to deal with things that come our way. And yes, that means finding someone one to watch our kids. I can't imagine not having ANYONE to take care of your children that you trust. Not very responsible IMO.

Oops, sorry. Missed this one when I was reading all the judgemental posts. I probably could find someone to drop off DS at Kindergarten (though being around to pick him up would be a problem). But my child missing school for a day so I can go to jury duty? Was that a serious question?? The real problem would be the 2 y.o. I'm not going to inconvenience anyone to watch him all day, bring another to K at noon, and pick up 2 of them at 3, in addition to watching their own kids. That's if they actually have a car to fit my 3 and their own and are able to get to separate schools...

 

[Michelle and crew]

Nor is it appropriate to bring your children to jury duty, never mind LEAVE to bring them to Kindergarten and then leave again to pick them up. How ridiculous.

What happens when the back ups don't. U had three fail one day I was supposed to testify. I suppose who believes like you all could have sent me home. I luckily know better people than that an the bailiff, a friends daddy watched all three. That was with 3 emergency, and paid options. As I have said over and over...stuff happens.

It is still wasteful of time resources, and money. But you forgot to address that. I am amazed at those who would rather a child be traumatized than to see a judge b understanding. That is some serious negative thought. Nasty.

 

[dogluva]

Oops, sorry. Missed this one when I was reading all the judgemental posts. I probably could find someone to drop off DS at Kindergarten (though being around to pick him up would be a problem). But my child missing school for a day so I can go to jury duty? Was that a serious question?? The real problem would be the 2 y.o. I'm not going to inconvenience anyone to watch him all day, bring another to K at noon, and pick up 2 of them at 3, in addition to watching their own kids. That's if they actually have a car to fit my 3 and their own and are able to get to separate schools...

Serious, I am sure you would take him out for a trip to Disney World! Really, we are talking KINDERGARTEN, not high school. Also, since you are so devoted, couldn't you get him caught up on what he missed in the two and a half hours he missed-well maybe the hour of instruction he missed when you subtract snack, recess, and clean up. Really, my kids missed a day or two of Kindergarten and the oldest two actually made it to college!

 

[dogluva]

What happens when the back ups don't. U had three fail one day I was supposed to testify. I suppose who believes like you all could have sent me home. I luckily know better people than that an the bailiff, a friends daddy watched all three. That was with 3 emergency, and paid options. As I have said over and over...stuff happens.

It is still wasteful of time resources, and money. But you forgot to address that. I am amazed at those who would rather a child be traumatized than to see a judge b understanding. That is some serious negative thought. Nasty.

First of all, you really need to go back and edit your posts. This one is hard to comprehend.

What does this mean: U had three fail one day I was supposed to testify.
Who are you talking about? Me or "U"?

I just taught this to my special education students in seventh grade. When a word ends with a consonant and you want to make it plural-change the y to i and add es. The word is emergencies, not emergencys. Sorry, just wanted to point this out.

 

[melancholywings]

I'm sure it would be frowned upon. But that is my life. I can't pretend I don't have people that i'm responsible for, just because it is inconvenient to a court...

So you'd knowingly risk having your children put into CPS if you were held in contempt of court?

Regardless of the right or wrong of jury duty, or if the judge is in the right - how is that good parenting? To knowingly put your children at risk.

 

[kaytieeldr]

So apparently you have someone to watch your kids, that's great for you.
For me, my world does absolutely revolve around my kids.

Your whole world, fine great. THE whole world, not so much. Sometimes you - we - need to adjust, adapt, make alternate arrangements, be inconvenienced... Most likely, a judge is going to interpret, "I couldn't find anyone to take care of my children so I could report here alone..." as, "I refused to..." or "I couldn't be bothered to..." or "I figured if I showed up with kids and claimed I couldn't find child care, I'd get to go home".

 

[micheleq]

In CT a SAHM is not excused. Do not show up to court with your kids they can & possibly will charge you with contempt.

I was excused as a SAHM in CT about three years ago. I called the Court (Bridgeport) and they excused me & documented it without question.

OP, good luck. I would think if you can document that your child receives services that you must be present for, that would help.

I am a former Civics & AP US Gov't teacher. I'd love to be on a jury someday!

 

[Jaime4004]

Serious, I am sure you would take him out for a trip to Disney World! Really, we are talking KINDERGARTEN, not high school. Also, since you are so devoted, couldn't you get him caught up on what he missed in the two and a half hours he missed-well maybe the hour of instruction he missed when you subtract snack, recess, and clean up. Really, my kids missed a day or two of Kindergarten and the oldest two actually made it to college!

This is not really a discussion about school. Sure, he could miss Kindergarten (though I was talking about the 1st grader) and still function fine but I do not deem my going to jury duty worth him or her missing school for. I didn't miss school when I was in college in MA and had to go, I deferred it until I could go. If he misses school, still what do I do with him and the others then? I'm not going to dump 3 kids on anyone unless it is an emergency. Especially the 2 y.o. who has separation anxiety and has only ever been watched by my, DH or my parents. He won't even allow aunts, uncles, close friends, other grandparents to be with him alone in a different room. He was kicked out of the gym daycare (or nicely told that he is not ready to be left for one hour and he is welcome when he can deal with it. )
Since I have never in 16 yrs in NH been called, and neither has my parents, brother, SIL, husband, they can't be too hard up here for jurors. I doubt my deferring until I can go is going to take down the judicial system.

 

[Mkrop]

Didn't you say earlier that in PA being a sahp is a valid reason for exemption?

It is not stated on any form you receive that it is a valid excuse. I wrote it on my form and hopef for the best. I assume a judge or whoever makes these decisions used their discertion and excused me.

I served on a jury when my daughter was in half day Kindergarten. I made arragnements since I had plenty of time to do so. You couldn't do that? Or is that too much of an inconvenience for you? Really, you have not made a friend in your child's class that he/she could go to after school? Could your daughter miss school for a day? Really, it seems like you don't want to be inconvienced or change your routine to do your civic duty. You are really not th only one with children. Sometimes we have to deal with things that come our way. And yes, that means finding someone one to watch our kids. I can't imagine not having ANYONE to take care of your children that you trust. Not very responsible IMO.

I think all of the people in MA need to stop answering becasue obvioulsy you have a different system. This one day, one trial thing. I think the majority of SAHPs can miss one day to serve or report, that is NOT the issue I keep seeing here, It is the issue of what if I am picked then what do I do. And you dont know how long the trial will be. It is very open ended and that is where the difficulty lies in finding childcare.

And I truly think that if a vaction can be excused so can lack of childcare. The same spouse who cant rearrange the vacation may have the same trouble taking off for a LENGTH of time to cover for the SAHP

 

[wvjules]

This is not really a discussion about school. Sure, he could miss Kindergarten (though I was talking about the 1st grader) and still function fine but I do not deem my going to jury duty worth him or her missing school for. I didn't miss school when I was in college in MA and had to go, I deferred it until I could go. If he misses school, still what do I do with him and the others then? I'm not going to dump 3 kids on anyone unless it is an emergency. Especially the 2 y.o. who has separation anxiety and has only ever been watched by my, DH or my parents. He won't even allow aunts, uncles, close friends, other grandparents to be with him alone in a different room. He was kicked out of the gym daycare (or nicely told that he is not ready to be left for one hour and he is welcome when he can deal with it. )
Since I have never in 16 yrs in NH been called, and neither has my parents, brother, SIL, husband, they can't be too hard up here for jurors. I doubt my deferring until I can go is going to take down the judicial system.

Gee, think could have anything to do with the fact that you refuse to leave your children with someone else? What happens when s/he goes to school? The umbilical cord is going to have to be cut sometime. Leave him with Aunt Suzy for an hour. Get him used to the fact that you will come back, a little at a time.

 

[Michelle and crew]

Gee, think could have anything to do with the fact that you refuse to leave your children with someone else? What happens when s/he goes to school? The umbilical cord is going to have to be cut sometime. Leave him with Aunt Suzy for an hour. Get him used to the fact that you will come back, a little at a time.

Parenting expert? Some kids go through times of anxiety. Would you put your child afraid of snakes into a snake pit to cure her fear? How is that connected to serving jury duty?

 

[wvjules]

Parenting expert? Some kids go through times of anxiety. Would you put your child afraid of snakes into a snake pit to cure her fear? How is that connected to serving jury duty?

If that is the excuse being used to get out of jury duty then I'd say it is connected, wouldn't you?

And no, I wouldn't put her in a snake pit to cure her. I would slowly introduce her to them, which is exactly what I suggested to the PP.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I think all of the people in MA need to stop answering becasue obvioulsy you have a different system. This one day, one trial thing. I think the majority of SAHPs can miss one day to serve or report, that is NOT the issue I keep seeing here, It is the issue of what if I am picked then what do I do. And you dont know how long the trial will be. It is very open ended and that is where the difficulty lies in finding childcare.

All due respect, I think the Massachusetts DISers have every right to respond. I think we're intelligent, we're reasonable, we have good suggestions, and most of all? When selected - we, too, don't have the slightest idea how long the one trial will last.

It appears posters not in this state are focusing on the 'one day' and ignoring the 'one trial' aspect of our jury service. It's one or the other. The '/' substitutes for the word 'or'. If you're required to appear - remember, MANY of you call the day before and are told you don't even need to come to the court - and are chosen for a trial, you're there for the duration of the trial. You're not done at the end of the day.



And again, instead of (or in addition to) complaining here, work with your respective state governments to get the jury system changed in your states. With all the effort and energy that's been put into this thread, and the excuses and the reasons posters have for not being able to serve jury duty or not wanting to serve jury duty, bills could have been introduced in several states by now.

Ask the Civics teacher

 

[usnuzuloose]

I did not even know there was a difference for jury, regular and federal. I have been called to jury duty I think 2 times. I never get summoned. Everyone else around me gets called like clock work every year. My husband is the only one working and it is our business so he cant take the time off as there would be no income. I say if they do not want to excuse SAHM they need to flip the bill for child care. At one time or another everyone will be called but the courts also need to make realistic choices about who can and can not serve. I would keep letting the courts know if you do not have some one to take care of your children then they need to let you know how to deal with it. Jo

 

[npmommie]

OP I don't know if you are still reading, but this very conversation came up in the gymnastics waiting area this week.
one of the moms got fed jury duty and was excused from serving due to her son's medical issues.
he was born with a heart condition. he does attend regular school everyday, but she was still able to be excused because of it.
thought this might help.

 

[wvjules]

I did not even know there was a difference for jury, regular and federal. I have been called to jury duty I think 2 times. I never get summoned. Everyone else around me gets called like clock work every year. My husband is the only one working and it is our business so he cant take the time off as there would be no income. I say if they do not want to excuse SAHM they need to flip the bill for child care. At one time or another everyone will be called but the courts also need to make realistic choices about who can and can not serve. I would keep letting the courts know if you do not have some one to take care of your children then they need to let you know how to deal with it. Jo

So it is the courts responsibility to tell a SAHP how to find childcare? I think that is the job of the parent, but maybe that's just me.

Also, they should food the bill for childcare for SAHPs? What about working parents? What do they get?

 

[kaytieeldr]

My husband is the only one working and it is our business so he cant take the time off as there would be no income. I say if they do not want to excuse SAHM they need to flip the bill for child care.

Jury duty isn't a job or a money-earning opportunity; it's a duty. To state that the courts should 'flip the bill' (???) for child care but then not expect the same courts to cover expenses for others required to serve - people like your husband whose business would be affected, or jurors having to pay expensive rates to park or for transportation or any number of other costs - is disingenuous and self-serving.

Plus, where the heck are the courts supposed to get the money? Are you willing to pay higher taxes to FUND these payments? I'm not.

 

[kaytieeldr]

I originally wrote this to see if I could get advice for my 1 year old to avoid missing therapy as I served (seeing how it could be days/weeks). Not a childcare issue. Not a SAHM vs. the world issue. Not my child is more special than yours issue. It has turned mean. I'm not going to get you to agree with me, and you are entitled to your ways of doing things. Thanks for chiming in. Let's move on.

Very respectfully, if you had been this specific initially, likely the responses would have been very different. Instead, it appeared to many people on both sides of the issue that the advice being sought was merely how to avoid jury duty for a number of years:

I received jury duty notice, and sent in my regular excuse--non-employed, caring for 3 small children. I was told by the clerk that this is not an excuse in federal court. I am awaiting response to a letter I sent to court, explaining that my baby is receiving services for developmental delays and a parent (not a babysitter) must be present for the instructors to come to our home.

If I go, DH will have to take the day off of work (we're living on one income), and if I get chosen to serve, it will cost me a lot for childcare! Anyone ever experience this, and any advice?

Please note: I do believe in jury duty and will gladly serve--when my youngest is in school full time!

note: original post changed 11/5; edited post quoted above, followed by original post from 10/26

 

[princessmom29]

lol, Many courts see it differently. So deal with it. It is required. It is also possible to defer it. So, suck it up, yourself. If you don't like it, move. I'm sure you can find a more militant place to live.

Actually, very few courts will allow you to defer jury duty until all of your children are old enough to care for themselves. Six months is the typicla defferment, so yes, civic duty and the law require even SAHM's to serve on jury duty in most cases. As some point every has to suck it up and serve wether they want to or not, or face contempt charges, truly exceptional cases are and should be the only exception. I am actually pretty happy with the judicial syatem where I live. For the most part they hold people accuntable for thier actions and require them to live up to their responsibilities. I don't understand what is "militant" about requiring citizens to participate in the judicial process?? I thought it was a basic principle of a functioning democratic court system.

 

[lonegirl]

Very respectfully, if you had been this specific initially, likely the responses would have been very different. Instead, it appeared to many people on both sides of the issue that the advice being sought was merely how to avoid jury duty for a number of years:


I understand that now. Mea Culpa!