A plea from your co-workers....

[jenm2878]

I work with a woman who's constantly in the bathroom and she REFUSES to ever leave the bathroom before you. If I go in and she's there, she'll just sit quietly until I leave. I get that everyone wants privacy, but maybe I want some privacy on occasion too.

I tried to wait her out one time just to see what would happen. I waited until my butt fell asleep and finally gave up. I wanted to tell her, "Bravo...you've won this battle."

 

[Squidrific]

 

[mamacatnv]

We had a woman in our office who left the butt gaskets (the paper liners) on the seat itself. We have a single ladies potty room - we had to put up a sign reminding her to flush the liners. It wasn't until we put up a "2nd notice" sign in bigger type before she got the hint. This woman was in her late 40's early 50's and should have had a clue.

 

[Todd&Copper]

I work with a woman who's constantly in the bathroom and she REFUSES to ever leave the bathroom before you. If I go in and she's there, she'll just sit quietly until I leave. I get that everyone wants privacy, but maybe I want some privacy on occasion too.

I tried to wait her out one time just to see what would happen. I waited until my butt fell asleep and finally gave up. I wanted to tell her, "Bravo...you've won this battle."

Did your butt snore?

 

[LaraK]

Did your butt snore?

I would think had it made that kinda noise she would have and leave!

 

[jenm2878]

Did your butt snore?

I just spit water out all over my monitor!

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

Well, as Lara's tag says, a wet monitor is the sign of a classic!!

 

[sunlover13]

The ladies bathroom at our work is just nasty. I can't believe people talk on their cell phones in there. Why would you want to spend more time in there than you have to?

Here's a good laugh for a Friday!

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've
all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt
something brewing down below. As much as we try to
convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is
inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work,
following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at
work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk really fast
around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone
else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful
when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk
an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: The act of scouting out a bathroom before
pooping. Walk on in and check for other poopers. If
there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back
again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER.
People may become suspicious if they catch you
constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: A fart that slips out while taking a leak at
the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is
usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment.
If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.
Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to
the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it.
No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved.
Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out
at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect
of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do
not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left
the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what
just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the
instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the
amount of air time the poop has to stink up the
bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing
the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to
the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom.
This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone
walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to
pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided
with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: A colleague who poops at
work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an
Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a
newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look
around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper
before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK(P.F.N): A group of
co-workers who band together to ensure emergency
pooping goes off without incident. This group can help
you to monitor the where abouts of Out Of The Closet
Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the
building where you can least expect visitors. Try
floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex.
This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex
entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: Someone who does not realize that you
are in the stall and tries to force the door open.
This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable
moments that can occur when taking a poop at work. If
this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd
Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all
uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants
into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be
used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential
Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction
with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert
potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a
stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is
occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately
so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: A poop that creates a loud splash when
hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident.
If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See
CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANAOMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series
of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by
an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever.
Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting
on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the
crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is
empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees

 

[suzimar57]

these posts are so funny - and true!

 

[theycallmered]

The office building that I work in has three bathrooms: 1 women's (which has one stall), 1 men's, and 1 for the maintenance men out back.

This summer there are bathroom remodels that are expected to take place on the women's and men's bathrooms. This means that EVERYONE in the office is expected to use the one maintenance bathroom.

There are 17 people in my office and I have no idea how this will work. I walk to work (a less than 5 min. commute) and have told my boss that I will be going home to go to the bathroom. I do not think he knows that I am serious. There is no way that I am sharing a one stall bathroom with 17 other people for 8 weeks.

 

[DarthKTrava]

I just wish that customers would treat the bathroom at a restaurant like they do the bathroom at their house.

1) PLEASE FLUSH!!!
2) IF ALL DOESN'T GO DOWN THE FIRST TIME, FLUSH AGAIN!!!
3) DON'T LITTER!!
4) DON'T USE THE WHOLE FLOOR AS YOUR TOILET! THE TOILET IS THERE FOR A REASON. USE IT.
5) THE URINAL IS BIG ENOUGH A TARGET TO AIM AT. IF YOUR AIM IS THAT POOR THEN YOU SHOULD WEAR DIAPERS AGAIN.
6) THE OPENING IN THE TOILET IS BIG ENOUGH TO NOT GET WASTE ON THE SEAT. IF YOU CAN'T AVOID HITTING SEAT, YOU SHOULD BE IN DIAPERS AGAIN.
7) IF YOU MESS ON THE SEAT, BE NICE AND CLEAN IT. OTHERS USE THE BATHROOM TOO AND WOULD LOVE THE COURTESY OF A CLEAN SEAT.
8) THE DRAIN IN THE FLOOR IS *NOT* AN ALTERNATE URINAL. IT'S THERE TO SPRAY DOWN THE BATHROOM DUE TO THOSE WHO CAN'T SEEM TO USE COMMON COURTESY AND KEEP IT NEAT.

 

[KellyMae]

I'm thinking that all of the above signs should be in the stalls at WDW. Plus this one: 'if the automatic flush doesn't occur, press this button'.

Wipe the seat, flush the toilet. Geez.

 

[DarthKTrava]

I'm thinking that all of the above signs should be in the stalls at WDW. Plus this one: 'if the automatic flush doesn't occur, press this button'.

Wipe the seat, flush the toilet. Geez.

Usually they kinda hide the button where it's not easily visible. Like at the new Wal-Mart we have in town.

And speaking of automatic toilets, PLEASE SET THEM TO WHERE I CAN FINISH WHAT I'M DOING BEFORE IT FLUSHES!!!! Some are set to where you twitch ever so slightly.... *FLUSH*.

And is it difficult to make the stalls big enough to where you don't have to straddle the toilet just to open the door to get out??????

 

[bigolive9]

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

This has me laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face. DH keeps looking over and telling me to get a hold of myself. Hilarious!!!