8th Graduation....whats the norm?

[8 Ears]

Our oldest DS graduated last year from 8th grade. There was a promotion ceremony, most were "casual dress". Boys had dress pants and shirt, some had ties. After school there were 3 "parties". He chose to go to 2 of them. One just for the afternoon, the second was multi day camp out in the back yard of one of his friends. We felt comfortable with this as we know the family well and several of us just popped in now and again.
Oh, and he got a new cell phone from us, cash from grandparents. For our DS's very closest friends we gave gifts as well. Small amount of cash. Then when they were on their 8th grade trip to Philly they had a class picture taken. I took it to Wally and made mousepads for them. They LOVED those
Hope this helps you/.

 

[ICF]

I hope this doesn't sound terribly mean, but throwing a huge party for passing eighth grade sounds overly indulgent. A huge celebration because the child did what's expected of him or her? Yeah, I know it's a "milestone", but it's a very small one! And gifts for passing a grade sounds . . . well, I'll stop there.

Well said, I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought lavish parties were a bit over the top for an 8th graduation. I don't recall much of my 8th grade gradutation 20 years ago, but I know I didn't have a lavish gathering nor was I showered with gifts. Perhaps times have changed, but I hope my kinds have no illusions of such things. I can understand HS parties / gifts to some extent, but just b/c you passed 8th grade?!?!!

 

[pamlet]

I'm from Chicago too ... I think it's a regional thing maybe?! Different places have different attitudes..

We didn't have a big party - but you know 35 years later I hold special memories.... I remember my aunt surprising me with flowers. I didn't expect her there .. she took the bus. We went out to eat afterwards at a neighborhood restaurant.

Later that week my folks took me to get a sewing machine of my own.. ( at Weiboldts on sale)... Then they surprised me with dinner at Shanghai Lil's .. it was a Polynesian restaurant that had a Polynesian Review.. we had a BLAST. It was just the four of us .. but more of a "grown-up" place. (Especially since going out to eat for us back then was usually Burger King.. laugh)

You know I don't know that graduating was the big deal .. it was the time my parents took to make a special time. Those are the kind of memories you hold onto later in life... Whatever YOU decide is best for your family is best! Just remember to take pictures ... I still have mine .. holding my flowers with my Mom, Aunt and sister around me!

 

[SadieDog]

I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought lavish parties were a bit over the top for an 8th graduation. !

No, you are not alone. I agree.

When my daughter graduated from 8th grade a few years ago we kept it very simple. We only invited a few relatives that she is closest too. That included 2 Uncles, 1 Aunt, her grandmother and my best friend who lives far away sent a gift. We had cake and there were a couple of baloons in her school colors. She did not expect a gathering. In fact she told me that I did not have to do anything. OP, what you are planning is great and sounds like a lot of fun!

 

[kellia]

Wow- a celebration for graduating 8th grade???? Heck no! I can possibly understand getting them a laptop if they will need it for high school and don't already have a pc they can use, but a huge party is way over the top, IMO. And I am all for some type of school function, but each child having Open Houses is way too much! We might go out to dinner or maybe a small family BBQ, but that's it until high school graduation!

Pamlet- what you described sounds nice! I see nothing wrong with family coming to share your day and bring flowers, that sounds like a lovely memory! It's just the renting a banquet hall or inviting friends and extended family, etc., that sounds like 'too much' to me.

 

[travlnman1]

Graduating 8th grade is something we celebrate too.
However, 1 child will probably have a party for the entire class. We don't have individual parties.
Graduation is in the morning for us.
Then we will take our child out to lunch to their favorite restaurant.
Then they will have a class party in the evening.

As far as gifts? Everyone is different. Personally, I take my graduate on a trip of their choosing. Just mom and child. I do that because I really want to spend some time with my child one on one before high school takes them away and finding time becomes harder and harder when they reach high school.
I take the opportunity when I'm with them to connect and talk to them.
I make a scrapbook of their trip with their mom.
My kids are DS20 DS18 and DD15.
All of them had great trips and they talk about their 8th grade trip all the time.
We made wonderful long lasting memories and I know that it made a difference in our relationship.

A VL purse? Well...in 6 months that will be "so last year" and you'll find it hanging in the closet.

MAKE MEMORIES! MAKE A CONNECTION! MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

 

[#17 Cherry Tree Lane]

I'm 21 now and when I graduated from 8th grade I remember having to wear something nice but not over the top. All the students in my class made fun of the girls who wore formal gowns (I mean come on, 95 degree night in Phoenix, who would WANT to wear another 10 pounds of clothes?!) We had in the high school auditorium and afterwards I THINK my grandparents came over for cake. It really shouldn't be made that big of a deal I think because in life a high school diploma is the bare minimum and 8th grade is just a transition. So the the OP: I think your idea for a bon fire is great! I used to do them all the time with my friends and it's when you have the most fun! Not spending money really is when you have the most fun. A lot of people need to realize that fun isn't in a Louis Vuitton or stretch limo, it's about spending time with your friends. And, btw, you have one amazing daughter to be able to do extra curricular activities AND make perfect grades! But I'm sure you already knew that

 

[shirleyb]

We never had an 8th grade graduation, and they don't at my kids' school either. I'd say that's a little silly, but OP I think the bon-fire idea is a nice one.

 

[willoughbyclan]

My DD is graduating 8th grade this year and I haven't heard of any celebrations as of yet. I'm ususally the last to know. The school system has held a "graduation ceremony" for several yrs, although not when I attended years ago. It is held at the middle school (6th-8th) auditorium. The 8th graders also go on a field trip in May to Williamsburg, VA and DC for (4) nights. This cost $400 plus spending money, enough of a gift for me.

I think you know your daughter best and only you can know what she will like. I do like the ideas of the bonfire and the jewelry. The jewelry especially so that she can hold onto it as a keepsake. Why should you even need a reason to throw a party, I say enjoy the moment!!!! To heck with what everyone else thinks.

I take the opportunity when I'm with them to connect and talk to them.
I make a scrapbook of their trip with their mom.
My kids are DS20 DS18 and DD15.
All of them had great trips and they talk about their 8th grade trip all the time.
We made wonderful long lasting memories and I know that it made a difference in our relationship.

MAKE MEMORIES! MAKE A CONNECTION! MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

I really think the above says it best. The most important thing is making memories and connecting with your child. I hadn't even thought of buying her a gift for her 8th graduation, but I tend to lean toward the spending time together idea. At least twice per year I have my girls make a list of what they would like to do all by themselves for an entire day with mommy (within reason, of course). They love this more than any gift I could give them. Having (4) DDs doesn't allow each of them much along time with mommy.

Good luck coming up with an idea and congratulations to your DD.

I think you will get alot of good ideas here.

OT: My DD14 also plays school FP softball and traveling summer FP softball. She had such a horrible season last year that my DH and I decided we would give her an incentive to try harder and focus more this year. We give her $5.00 for each hit (not on error) and $10 for each homerun. Last year she hardly had any hits at all, this year she has had ALL hits and (1) homerun and we have only had (3) games so far this season. At her age, money is a BIG motivator. I figure we would be giving her the money in some other fashion anyway, so why not make her work for it. Her Bday is today and she is getting a new Catalyst bat. She has been wanting one for (3) yrs now, took me that long to pay for it!!!!! FLAME AWAY!

 

[ceecee]

A lot of schools here go thru 9th grade as middle school, some even have 6th as middle school. We don't do anything special for 8th grade graduation, I haven't heard of anyone else doing anything either. Then Kindergarten, 6th and Senior as well?????

 

[englishteacha]

I like the idea of a bonfire. That sounds like summer fun and not over the top at all! I had an 8th grade "promotion"-they refused to call it graduation. We got certificates for clubs, honor roll, etc. We got dressed up, but not formal. We actually were told that if we wore formalwear we'd be sent home! Then there was a dance for all the 8th graders afterwards. Fast forward 14 years and I'm teaching 8th grade. We don't do any type of ceremony, but there is an end of the year assembly for the 8th grade on the last day of school. The student council sponsors a semi-formal for the whole school in April, and some of the families go overboard for that. One of my girls is having a limo for her group of friends! It's a gift from her dad. I said, "Don't you want to have a limo ride be special, like for your senior prom?" and she replied that her dad said she could have a limo for 8th grade semiformal and her senior prom! (I went to my proms in whatever vehicle my date could borrow!)

 

[jessica52877]

I chose not to have a party for high school graduation. Being a senior and graduation was great, but to me I felt it was something you do. I graduated with straight A's and did all the sports, National Honor Society and more, but that is what kids do! That was my personal opinion, I was 18 and don't regret it one bit, to me it was simply asking for money.

 

[Coll0610]

I grew up in Chicago and attended the same small Catholic school from 1st grade through 8th. There were 24 of us in my graduating class and about 15 of us had been there since first grade. We had a graduation (in church at a Mass of course) and wore caps and gowns. Several of us had parties for the class over the next week (usually kids in the basement and some of the parents upstairs). This was a big deal because it was really the first time we'd had parties with the boys AND the girls. We went to at least 6 different high schools so it was all a chance to say good bye to everyone.

I had 2 cousins also graduate from 8th grade and one from high school that year, so the 3 families threw one party.

I don't keep in touch with any of those classmates, but my parents still live in the house I grew up in and they still hang around with some of their parents, so I hear about them all the time.