Well you're not attached at the hip, let her live there and you go stay with family or something with the dog since you don't have any immediate commitments.
This is her partner, she said they are engaged. That's not really nice of you to tell her to have her fiancee live somewhere else. Even if this situation is crazy, it's still not nice, and wouldn't save them any money at all.
OP, I feel for you. I think you're asking too much from the person who has the house, but still, I feel for you. I've had to live with people I didn't much like.
But the thing that saves a situation like that is to spell out *as much as possible* ahead of time. Make the money so that either no one feels like they are being taken or everyone does, LOL. You
can't have a situation where, like you suggested, the owner can come back a month later and say "the electric went up, you have to take care of this" because the tenant NEVER will! Especially in such a short-term situation, there's just no way you would do it. You *think* you would, but you wouldn't.
But she's throwing in all these other things, like if you run the electric up, then you'll owe me more.
We're not big electric users, nor water users.
I'm making the point that our utilities are only 80$ a month on a three bedroom. I couldn't imagine her utilities costing her that much more. Or us affecting it that much more. And remember too, there's like 20$ of standard fees for having utilities on, whether you use any or not.
If she's not willing to conserve energy, why should I pay for her to waste it? I know I'm not perfect at it, but I do try.
If you run the electric up, OF COURSE you would need to pay your share.
We rent. Right now we're in a condo, last year in an apartment, and the year before that a brand new townhouse. Before that, 3 years in an apartment (we can't settle, LOL).
In apartments we were used to nice, low bills. Those bills didn't SEEM so low, of course, when it's what we were used to. Our condo now is averaging about $50 per month (water is included in the condo dues).
Our townhouse, brand new construction, cost us $500 over a TWO MONTH period. It was sickening. Awful. We were NEVER warm in the winter, and NEVER cool in the summer. We froze and boiled all year long. There was something seriously wrong with those townhouses, the other owners agreed. Those power bills were one reason we moved, even though we thought we were going to eventually buy it (the owner is the manager of the apt complex we rented from for 3 years, and owns the condo we live in now...we're almost friends now).
So it is entirely possible that the energy use in this house is simply higher, because it is a stand-alone place with no one else to mitigate the main fees.
Has she stated that she doesn't conserve energy? Trust me, we conserved as much as possible in the townhouse, but still, $500 in 2 months...I still feel sick thinking about it.
You might live there, you HAVE TO pay your share.
Like if we moved into this other person's place, it doesn't seem like it would bother me as much. Partially because they're not looking for a room-mate to get money out of it. And would be willing to settle on a couple hundred for rent and extra for utilities.
This person sees "room-mate=$$$". She's been complaining about how sour things went with the first person. (the girl would let her b/f sleep over and let him stay even if she wasn't home, eat more than what she would buy at the grocery store). So it just doesn't seem right that she's pre-accusing us of things because her last room-mate did that to her. We had a room mate for about a month before she skipped out on us. After that I told Kari no more room-mates, I don't like the idea of some one else living with us.
You *think* you would be willing to settle for a low amount, but you don't really know what you would do.
Read that second paragraph again.
Kari's friend was BURNED by her roomie. Seriously, those things her roommate did were extremely uncool. Boyfriends do NOT stay over (nor do girlfriends) unless it's OK with everyone. Boy/girlfriends do NOT eat food that doesn't belong to them or their partners. Kari's friend was absolutely burned, and it's OK that her friend is wary of it happening again.
Read what you said about your experience with a roomie. YOu say that it's not fair for the home-owner to be wary b/c of her experience, but you yourself are wary b/c of YOUR experience! You're doing the same thing as she is, so you don't get to be annoyed at her for setting boundaries.
You ALL need boundaries and rules, it's the ONLY way that will make this situation at all possible.
But Kari doesn't make enough money on her own, and it would be her parents co-signing with her, and because they have no monthly income, it became hard to qualify for a mortgage.
Plus Kari wants to move north next year, but wanted the experience as coordinator before leaving full-time.
...How many people do you know that were in a position to buy a house at 25, and in todays economy.
Kari is NOT in a position to buy a house, OP. If you have to co-sign, you're not ready. Sure, maybe you can, though with co-signers without a monthly income it seems that she's even less ready, but really you shouldn't. So, and believe me, this is coming from a renter not a holier than thou mortgage-holder, she is NOT in a position to buy a house.
Also, if she wants to move out of state (I assume), WHY is she wanting to buy a house????
We like having our space. 3 bedrooms are lovely. We rented a 3 bedroom when it was just the two of us (OK so there was an embryo and a cat involved, but just two of us who needed a room at the time, LOL), it was great. We also have a lot of stuff, as it sounds like you do. You have lots of furniture, at the very least! I understand wanting room to spread out. But I'm not sure you need to look at a 3 bedroom right now. Perhaps if you looked at one bedrooms right now it would be better? Throw some of those clothes into storage along with the huge dresser, downsize the living space right now, save up.
I think that if you agree to rules, boundaries, and everything else you ALL need to feel safe in your space, this has a chance at working. And if it does NOT work, you ALL need a plan for that, too. I had to totally break a lease with a roomie once because we absolutely did not work, thanks to us not setting down rules ahead of time. We disagreed on changes that happened, she said that her new boyfriend would just stay in her room so he didin't need to pay rent, but he used the kitchen, bathroom (and he was FURRY!), and living room, and I absolutely insisted he pay a third. Ooh they didn't like that, but it happened, because he was USING a third of the place. Ultimately though it didn't work and we all left.
YOu guys have to set up exit strategies, don't put what you think you would do if you owned a house onto someone who DOES own a house, and it *might* work.
But I would suggest looking into smaller apartments first.
Good luck!