12 year olds drinking O'Douls...appropriate?

[Magpie]

Meh. I don’t really care if parents give their kids small amounts of alcohol in the privacy of their own home. My parents used to make real wine coolers (wine and sprite) for my sister and I to sip on when we would go on vacation (in our hotel room), as teenagers- 15 or 16 years old.

What I don’t like is the whole attitude here, with the kid walking around with the bottle at a party in front of other people outside the family. Like someone said upthread, it’s like the family wants to look “cool”, and it sets a poor example to the other kids there. I have the same problem with my MIL who buys my 11 y/o niece fancy coffee drinks from McDonalds when they’re out together with their cousins (my boys, 10 and 11). Especially since the girl already thinks she’s in charge, and never says “thank you”. But, that's another story all together.

What's wrong with fancy coffee drinks? My son's been dropping by the Starbucks regularly with his friends, at lunchtime, ever since he started Grade 6 and was allowed off school property. He was 11 starting Grade 6.

They all like those coffees. (He has to buy them with his own money, but that's a different issue.)

Is the problem that your MIL doesn't buy them for your kids, too? Or are your kids not allowed to drink them, and so you think the girl shouldn't be allowed to have them either, when she's around your kids? My son can't have candy, due to a health issue, but I don't insist that other kids can't eat candy in his presence.

 

[canopynut66]

We were invited to a cookout today hosted by one of DH's coworkers. When we arrived, his 12 year old son was sitting around drinking O'Douls. It really took me by surprise. I know this drink is non-alcoholic, but I've never seen it served to kids before. Am I a prude for finding this odd?

I also would have a problem with this and do not see you as a prude as that is just wrong

 

[bgirldeb]

What's wrong with fancy coffee drinks? My son's been dropping by the Starbucks regularly with his friends, at lunchtime, ever since he started Grade 6 and was allowed off school property. He was 11 starting Grade 6.

They all like those coffees. (He has to buy them with his own money, but that's a different issue.)

Is the problem that your MIL doesn't buy them for your kids, too? Or are your kids not allowed to drink them, and so you think the girl shouldn't be allowed to have them either, when she's around your kids? My son can't have candy, due to a health issue, but I don't insist that other kids can't eat candy in his presence.

Oh, I don't see a problem with that. Maybe it's just my MIL's "parenting" and "grandparenting" styles, and the girl's attitude. She gets what she wants period. Maybe that was a bad example.

 

[Aisling]

I couldn't post until I thought about it for a while, as I have mixed feelings.

Kids shouldn't be drinking beer, but O'Doul's isn't beer, even though it tastes like beer. They can't get drunk from it.

As for it teaching them to like the taste of real beer and possibly encouraging them to go for the real thing, I'm not sure that really happens. I'd love to hear some stats on that.

If my 10 year old wanted to drink O'Doul's, I'd probably say no, even though part of me thinks it's harmless. I'm still on the fence about this.

 

[hambirg]

I couldn't post until I thought about it for a while, as I have mixed feelings.

Kids shouldn't be drinking beer, but O'Doul's isn't beer, even though it tastes like beer. They can't get drunk from it.

As for it teaching them to like the taste of real beer and possibly encouraging them to go for the real thing, I'm not sure that really happens. I'd love to hear some stats on that.

If my 10 year old wanted to drink O'Doul's, I'd probably say no, even though part of me thinks it's harmless. I'm still on the fence about this.

I found an article with pediatricians advising against it for the reasons you stated above. They likened it to candy cigarettes. I can see that. It can be argued that candy cigarettes are just sugar, much like a lifesaver (not unlike the OJ argument), but I think most people can understand not wanting to encourage the behavior in children. So no, I wouldn't let my 12 yr old drink O'Douls (besides the obvious fact that the stuff is just nasty), for those same reasons.

 

[cornflake]

I found an article with pediatricians advising against it for the reasons you stated above. They likened it to candy cigarettes. I can see that. It can be argued that candy cigarettes are just sugar, much like a lifesaver (not unlike the OJ argument), but I think most people can understand not wanting to encourage the behavior in children. So no, I wouldn't let my 12 yr old drink O'Douls (besides the obvious fact that the stuff is just nasty), for those same reasons.

I see what you're saying but... most people would prefer their kids never smoke. It's unhealthy. That's NOT true for alcohol consumption to most people.

 

[hambirg]

I see what you're saying but... most people would prefer their kids never smoke. It's unhealthy. That's NOT true for alcohol consumption to most people.

While this is true, I just don't see the need to encourage it in my 12yr old. My DD15 has had an occasional glass of wine with dinner when she's in Germany and that doesn't bother me at all. I just figure, if my kids are anything like me, they will want to drink soon enough. It's not a behavior I have to encourage. . .like brushing their teeth, eating healthy and exercising. KWIM?

 

[PaulaSB12]

Weird by some studies I sould be a raving alcoholic as according to my mother my first tast of alcohol was as a baby in her arms when I grabbed the drink she was drinking and took a slug of it. Both myself and my sister where given taste of wine with special meals from a young age. As my sister has with her three. I didn't start drinking outside of that until I was 18 (legal where I am) and now a days mostly new years, christmas and on the occasional end of a night shift. So once maybe twice a week with one drink. My sister's children are 17 and legally able to drink in 5 months and they still don't drink anything apart from a small taste of champagne at christmas and new year.

 

[Magpie]

Oh, I don't see a problem with that. Maybe it's just my MIL's "parenting" and "grandparenting" styles, and the girl's attitude. She gets what she wants period. Maybe that was a bad example.

(My post sounded a little rant-y, sorry! I was sleep deprived.)

 

[luvsJack]

Ummmm, I never said that it was my business.

And, just how is my opinion YOUR business?

Sorry, my opinion is what it is...
You can quote me and try to engage... ( no surprise there )

My opinion stands.

Don't take it so personal, I didn't mean YOUR business, I mean its not the business of "anyone" that may see this kid drinking the stuff, as in the the general word, anyone overall, society as a whole's business. If the kid is drinking actual alcohol and it is illegal for him to drink--then that is different and it IS the business of others, if not then its really no different than him drinking a virgin pina colada.



The only thing I was really commenting on YOUR post was that I really don't see how the virgin cocktails being fruity and slushy and the near bear not has any bearing on whether one is ok and the other is not.

Wasn't trying to engage, just pointing out somehting that you said and that a couple of others insinuated.

 

[luvsJack]

Well, when he grows up to be an alcoholic, you'll know why.

FYI: my ex-husband never drank a drop of alcohol (or anything that resembled alcohol) until the day he turned of legal age. He is now 52 years old and is a recovering alcoholic of one year that has destroyed his life and is now sadly sober enough to realize it.

He was an alcoholic because his father, uncles, aunts, grandmother and grandfather were all alcoholics before him; not because of some pretend beer that he drank at 12

This stuff is not going to cause alcoholism. Its not going to cause teen drinking. Its not going to cause drinking and driving. Its just not. No more than taking a sip of dad's beer is going to, or ordering a virgin margarita is.

Lack of education, peer pressure, lack of supervision and lack of parental guidance=teen drinking. Family genetics=alcoholism.

 

[Mandychelle79]

Frankly, around here, parents would prefer their children drink the n/a beer at the party.

Even when I was in high school ( graduated in 98) the only thing to do was party. And party we did. And since we have a 7-12 high school, it was not unusual to have 13 or 14 yr olds at the party where real beer was readily available.

 

[bgirldeb]

(My post sounded a little rant-y, sorry! I was sleep deprived.)

me too!

 

[Iluvthemouse]

I dont like the fact that a 12yr old likes the taste.. ewwwww.. lol

no, wouldnt happen in my house

 

[MrsPete]

FYI: my ex-husband never drank a drop of alcohol (or anything that resembled alcohol) until the day he turned of legal age. He is now 52 years old and is a recovering alcoholic of one year that has destroyed his life and is now sadly sober enough to realize it.

He was an alcoholic because his father, uncles, aunts, grandmother and grandfather were all alcoholics before him; not because of some pretend beer that he drank at 12

This stuff is not going to cause alcoholism. Its not going to cause teen drinking. Its not going to cause drinking and driving. Its just not. No more than taking a sip of dad's beer is going to, or ordering a virgin margarita is.

Lack of education, peer pressure, lack of supervision and lack of parental guidance=teen drinking. Family genetics=alcoholism.

I also come from a long line of alcoholics, and I strongly suspect I have the genetic disposition to be one myself. As such, I drink very, very little -- 2 or 3 drinks PER YEAR. And I've talked to my children about their personal danger being higher than that of people without such a family background. I know my oldest understands.

However, while I agree with the majority of your post, I am also certain that "glamorizing" alcohol during youth is a factor in alcoholism. Allowing a kid to drink a fake beer or a virgin drink in a fancy glass is like letting them "play grown up". Kids want to be grown up, and if you allow them to see that as cool, worldly, suave, it's a step towards alcoholism. If it's the ONLY step, likely no harm'll be done. But rarely is it the only step.

It's a complicated, multi-fauceted topic. Anyone who says, "Just do this one thing, and it'll be okay" is lying to himself.

 

[snapppyd]

I don't like it. Why does a child that young need to mimic adult behavior? When I was little (many, many years ago) they made chocolate cigarettes - pink box for girls, blue box for boys. Looking back, I was being "primed" to smoke. *I* think there is plenty of time to experiment as a teenager, why rush it?

 

[U2_rocks!]

I found an article with pediatricians advising against it for the reasons you stated above. They likened it to candy cigarettes. I can see that. It can be argued that candy cigarettes are just sugar, much like a lifesaver (not unlike the OJ argument), but I think most people can understand not wanting to encourage the behavior in children. So no, I wouldn't let my 12 yr old drink O'Douls (besides the obvious fact that the stuff is just nasty), for those same reasons.

I don't get the candy cigarettes argument either - I've seen many a kid pretend smoke with straws or anything long and thin. Mimicry is natural for kids - doesn't mean they're going to grow up and actually do the real thing. Just like how kids use sticks and anything like that as guns if you refuse to buy toy guns. It's just pretend play.

 

[princessmom29]

Oh... that explains why I've always liked fruit salad better after it's been hanging around awhile. I remember telling my mother that I liked the way it made my tongue tingle.

Also, real apple cider.

yep. Iti s alcoholic fermentation and you cannot get away from it with fruit unless it is fresh or flash frozen and eaten immedately after it thaws. If it sits for any length of time, it contains alcohol.

 

[LisaR]

I don't get the candy cigarettes argument either - I've seen many a kid pretend smoke with straws or anything long and thin. Mimicry is natural for kids - doesn't mean they're going to grow up and actually do the real thing. Just like how kids use sticks and anything like that as guns if you refuse to buy toy guns. It's just pretend play.

I agree with you in that kids that mimic adult behavior are not necessarily going to grow up doing the real thing (drinking, smoking, etc.)

However, there is a big difference between candy cigarettes and O'douls.

Candy cigarettes are just that - candy! If they made a cigarette that only had 1/10th the amount of nicotine as a regular cigarette, would anyone allow a 12 year old to smoke those because it would take 10 cigarettes to get the amount of nicotine one cigarette provides?

 

[U2_rocks!]

Weird by some studies I sould be a raving alcoholic as according to my mother my first tast of alcohol was as a baby in her arms when I grabbed the drink she was drinking and took a slug of it. Both myself and my sister where given taste of wine with special meals from a young age. As my sister has with her three. I didn't start drinking outside of that until I was 18 (legal where I am) and now a days mostly new years, christmas and on the occasional end of a night shift. So once maybe twice a week with one drink. My sister's children are 17 and legally able to drink in 5 months and they still don't drink anything apart from a small taste of champagne at christmas and new year.

The drinking age is 18 here now (to be served or to purchase - not sure about in your own home), but when I was a teen there was no law about drinking - each establishment set their own. The yacht club we hung out at had a minimum age of 16, and so did the nightclub we used to go to. I was going to a bar perfectly legally at 15. Somehow I am not an alcoholic, and neither are any of my friends. By the time I went thousands of miles away from home to university at age 18, I understood alcohol and its effects on me. I was able to stay safe. I saw people playing century club and doing all sorts of crap and I knew better. I liked a few drinks when I was out at a party, but I liked dancing even more, and many nights I would switch to water early on because it was the most thirst-quenching thing when dancing. Alcohol wasn't a novelty when I was at uni, whereas for most of my classmates this was the first legal drinking they'd been able to do and many of them took full advantage.

Yes there are always going to be people who are predisposed to addiction, and I'm not sure it makes a difference when they start drinking other than if they start too young they might have more years to drink and do damage before they get around to seeking help.

I'm not trying to say that early introduction to alcohol will guarantee protection against poisoning, drunk driving or alcoholism - I'm saying that I'm not convinced that early introduction leads to those things either. It's complicated. It may not feel right to some of you to give alcohol to your kids at home, even if it is legal to do so - that's totally your prerogative and I would not try to convince you otherwise. Just don't accuse me of creating little alcoholics if I do allow mine to drink - I've BTDT that with early drinking, and I have not witnessed all these fears come to pass in my society. I know that doesn't qualify as "evidnece" or a true "study", but it's my own experience and I will continue to draw from it.