Nothing is that simple. Teaching kids to drive, relationships with the opposite sex, ect. But in all other avenues we attempt to model and teach responsible behavior at home before we send them out into the world to do those things. Of course they are going to act differently around thier friends. They are also gonig to drive differently with their friends in the car and interact differnetly with thier bf/gf when I am not there. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to teachthem how to do the roght thing however. Nothing is a magic cure for teenage stupidity, but we as parants hould do everything we vcan to teach our kids how to avoid stupidity. WE wouldn't put them on the road without teaching them to drive, so why do we not apply the same logic to drinking? I am not saying that any of this can totally prevent kids form making poor choices, but how do we expect them to make good decisions and behave responsibly in any avenue if we haven't taught them how?
For me, you have the underage element. In letting your kids drink at home, you are saying that it's ok to break the law, and that the law should not be respected, so there is that element.
Also at issue is that this isn't a guarantee for future responsible drinking, and may backfire, so that wouldn't be good either.
I totally get your point, but then why not apply that to sex and other behaviours as well? Most parents I know aren't teaching their kids through role modelling of sexual positions, yet somehow, things work out. Another example is marriage - no one gets to practice marriage as teens. Most of us only get married 1x, and that is it. Now, marriage may not kill someone like binge drinking can, but a failed marriage can ruin a life too. With this belief though, you are assuming that your children will binge drink and can't possibly be responsible without drinking practice at home. I say there are lots of teens who choose not to drink, and there are lots who drink for the first time when they are older, and they are fine.
I am of the belief that kids can learn about certain things in a responsible and mature manner without actually partaking in those activities. It takes a lot of work from parents, educators, and a good, positive group of friends, but it can be done, as I have seen it, and am living proof of it.
This attitude that all teens will binge drink and drive drunk is confusing to me, as not all teens will do this. And, for the large groups who do, there are a lot more factors going on in their brains that brought them to that choice, and I would say that drinking with mom and dad is probably not going to be that much help when peer pressure or depression/anxiety are the driving forces behind why many teens drink.
Like we all know, it's a difficult topic, and that is why so much research is being done in this area in regards to binge drinking, parents allowing kids to drink at home, best age for drinking age, etc.
Best of luck to all of you who are parenting teens, Tiger
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