12 year old 7th grader afraid in football....Do I allow him to quit

[CPT Tripss]

There might not be that kid waiting in the wings. DS15 goes to a small private HS, their freshman team was at the bare minumum with a few kids to spare if someone did get hurt.

There were many games that wound up being cancelled bc there were not enough freshman to play on the other teams due to injury. You need depth on the bench in football.

Maybe football is not the sport for him but I would also make sure he is not screwing over his whole team by dropping out. That would stink for the other players.

No need to guilt the kid. The team will have the same number of players after he drops out as the would have if he never joined the team.

 

[dolphindan1]

Well wanted to update after todays practice....

He was a little more up beat today....I was at practice and they had a team scrimmage and he broke through the OL and sacked the QB twice...really played good, still doesnt understand he has to contain the end as a defensive end but he will I guess...then he played LT on the OL and held his guy in check most of the time...Coaches really praised him...

He gets in car and I ask him how he thinks it went...He said pretty good...He said I am happy they took out the Oklahoma drill..I said why did they do that...he said cause kids are getting hurt...I said well thats smart...

So I say you gonna stick with it...He says I dont know...I said you think me and your brother helping you last night helped...He said maybe...

So we will see how this week goes...

In other news my Oldest may be losing his QB spot cause he fumbled some in a scrimmage friday...Had a 70 yard TD run, receivers dropped every pass but he fumbles in muddy wet conditions and they start working someone else out, plus he was playing Linebacker...They didnt even have him on defense today...LOL...What a joke...i told him to just stick with Baseball before the season started as the letters are already rolling in for a 6' 3 all state lefty pitcher, as a sophomore....OH well...its a learning lesson...He said he really wasnt worried about it...I said OK...he is also playing showcase/travel baseball this fall along with football....I told him he was crazy but I left it totally up to him...He went and won the QB job in spring practice so I think think allure of being the QB was too much to pass up...LOL

anyway...thanks for all the advice...

 

[Planogirl]

This happened with our son when he was about 7. He wanted to try softball but he got hit by pitches a few times and started to panic. This wasn't school or a formal league so after pressure from his Dad I relented and let him quit. It hasn't made a difference in anything else that he's done since. He shows no sign of giving up on things easily.

 

[PizzieDuster]

Well wanted to update after todays practice....

He was a little more up beat today....I was at practice and they had a team scrimmage and he broke through the OL and sacked the QB twice...really played good, still doesnt understand he has to contain the end as a defensive end but he will I guess...then he played LT on the OL and held his guy in check most of the time...Coaches really praised him...

He gets in car and I ask him how he thinks it went...He said pretty good...He said I am happy they took out the Oklahoma drill..I said why did they do that...he said cause kids are getting hurt...I said well thats smart...

So I say you gonna stick with it...He says I dont know...I said you think me and your brother helping you last night helped...He said maybe...

So we will see how this week goes...

In other news my Oldest may be losing his QB spot cause he fumbled some in a scrimmage friday...Had a 70 yard TD run, receivers dropped every pass but he fumbles in muddy wet conditions and they start working someone else out, plus he was playing Linebacker...They didnt even have him on defense today...LOL...What a joke...i told him to just stick with Baseball before the season started as the letters are already rolling in for a 6' 3 all state lefty pitcher, as a sophomore....OH well...its a learning lesson...He said he really wasnt worried about it...I said OK...he is also playing showcase/travel baseball this fall along with football....I told him he was crazy but I left it totally up to him...He went and won the QB job in spring practice so I think think allure of being the QB was too much to pass up...LOL

anyway...thanks for all the advice...

That's great! Isn't it time for passing league? For what it's worth....my older son played with Matt Barkley in high school. I remember Matt practicing with the freshman, summer camp. Then he became starting Varsity QB as a freshman! I remember listening to those QB's that were jr & srs (parents), getting passed up. Football drama {Well, this is a high school who had 2 QB Heisman winners, I can imagine the parents being upset} My younger son played with Matt's younger brother who quit football his sophomore year for track/hurdles. Got him into USC too My older son went onto college, my younger one got a scholarship to play football. Every son is different.

Good luck to your sons!

 

[sk!mom]

Well wanted to update after todays practice....

He was a little more up beat today....I was at practice and they had a team scrimmage and he broke through the OL and sacked the QB twice...really played good, still doesnt understand he has to contain the end as a defensive end but he will I guess...then he played LT on the OL and held his guy in check most of the time...Coaches really praised him...

He gets in car and I ask him how he thinks it went...He said pretty good...He said I am happy they took out the Oklahoma drill..I said why did they do that...he said cause kids are getting hurt...I said well thats smart...

So I say you gonna stick with it...He says I dont know...I said you think me and your brother helping you last night helped...He said maybe...

So we will see how this week goes...

In other news my Oldest may be losing his QB spot cause he fumbled some in a scrimmage friday...Had a 70 yard TD run, receivers dropped every pass but he fumbles in muddy wet conditions and they start working someone else out, plus he was playing Linebacker...They didnt even have him on defense today...LOL...What a joke...i told him to just stick with Baseball before the season started as the letters are already rolling in for a 6' 3 all state lefty pitcher, as a sophomore....OH well...its a learning lesson...He said he really wasnt worried about it...I said OK...he is also playing showcase/travel baseball this fall along with football....I told him he was crazy but I left it totally up to him...He went and won the QB job in spring practice so I think think allure of being the QB was too much to pass up...LOL

anyway...thanks for all the advice...

Forgive me if I'm reading too much into this but it seems like maybe you're the one who wants him to play. Is football important to you but maybe not the activity for him?

As a parent, I get that. My kids have been involved in things that I really enjoyed and I would have hated to see those things given up. On the other hand, I was elated when both decided that soccer wasn't for them because I hated every minute of it. Maybe examine your motivation for wanting him to stick with it.

That said- I am also a big believer in making kids see something through but by your son's age you know if he's a quitter or not. If giving up too easily is a fault of his then definitely work on that but if it's not an issue then respect his right to try something and realize that it isn't for him.

For example, my DD17 is very intrinsically driven and motivated but twice over her middle school and high school years she has decided to back out of something. Once it was because she had just joined too much in middle school and realized in the first six weeks of school that her schedule was too stressful. We let her drop the activity that she wasn't enjoying. Sophomore year we let her change out of a class after the first week because she literally was calling me crying every afternoon over this class. I recognized that the level of stress she was feeling wasn't good for her and her reaction was completely not her usual behavior or reaction.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

While I also think that once you commit you see it through sometimes you have to bend that rule. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to tell your parents that you want to quit something. Especially in your position where he has an older brother who is a "star" at football. It just may not be his thing. Good luck.

 

[AustinTink]

Forgive me if I'm reading too much into this but it seems like maybe you're the one who wants him to play. Is football important to you but maybe not the activity for him?

This is the impression I get as well.

 

[goofy4tink]

My ds, now almost 40, was nagged about playing football. His dad, my ex, almost played pro-ball as a place kicker, so he really wanted ds to play as well. Ds is, and was, a big boy! He would have made a great football player. BUT..he didn't have the right mentality! He did play soccer all through high school. Surprised everyone because he was so big. There was one time that an opposing player stuck out his leg to trip ds on the soccer field, and well...that player got the short end of the stick. His leg hit ds's leg, his shin guard came flying off, and he fell to the ground, writhing in pain. Ds stopped, mid-field, looked down and asked the other player if he was okay and held out his hand to help him up. The response he got is unprintable here!!! Found out that kid broke his leg when he came into contact with ds's leg. My ds has tree trunks for legs...his legs are short but his body is long!!! Center of gravity is much lower than normal. That poor kid's leg just snapped with little felt by my ds!
We decided he just didn't have the correct mentality to play football....he was always concerned about hurting someone due to his size! We had always raised him to be careful around other kids since he never seemed to realize his strength or bulk!!!
So, he always said no thanks to the football coach!!!! There are just some kids that aren't cut out for certain things.
If you find that your ds starts to like football, then fine. But please, don't give him the impression that it's all important to you!!! That's not fair to him. He could be putting himself in jeopardy!

 

[kitsch4]

I would also fear that his hesitancy might increase the chance of him getting hurt.

This was my thought, too. If he's afraid, he might hesitate, which could lead to an injury.

In the past, both of my kids had times when they decided that they didn't like whatever sport they were doing at the time, but I made them stick it out since they had made the commitment and told them that they didn't have to sign up for it again.

However, it's still early in the season, and if my son was so miserable that he came home in tears, I wouldn't make him continue.

 

[dolphindan1]

Forgive me if I'm reading too much into this but it seems like maybe you're the one who wants him to play. Is football important to you but maybe not the activity for him?

As a parent, I get that. My kids have been involved in things that I really enjoyed and I would have hated to see those things given up. On the other hand, I was elated when both decided that soccer wasn't for them because I hated every minute of it. Maybe examine your motivation for wanting him to stick with it.

That said- I am also a big believer in making kids see something through but by your son's age you know if he's a quitter or not. If giving up too easily is a fault of his then definitely work on that but if it's not an issue then respect his right to try something and realize that it isn't for him.

For example, my DD17 is very intrinsically driven and motivated but twice over her middle school and high school years she has decided to back out of something. Once it was because she had just joined too much in middle school and realized in the first six weeks of school that her schedule was too stressful. We let her drop the activity that she wasn't enjoying. Sophomore year we let her change out of a class after the first week because she literally was calling me crying every afternoon over this class. I recognized that the level of stress she was feeling wasn't good for her and her reaction was completely not her usual behavior or reaction.

This is the impression I get as well.

I just want you both to know I would never force my kids to play a sport...never...truth be told I tried to talk them both out of football...The oldest is already being contacted for baseball and had already committed to a top Showcase team this fall, was all state this past year as a Sophomore...as a 6'3 lefty pitcher thats his best shot to play anything in college if thats what he wants to do...After he decided to play football I then tried to get him into not play baseball but he wasnt having it....I then had to talk to the baseball coach about him missing weekly practices and he allowed it saying other kids are doing it too....So he practices baseball on the weekends and football all week...How he will find time to study as he isnt the greatest student, we will see...

My youngest...the one who is afraid...had already committed to a club soccer team and decided to play football the day before football practice....it was a scramble to get his pads and physical but he is at a new school and the boys talked him into it...I tried to convince him to give one up too but he was insistent on playing both....

I am actually a bit relieved he doesnt want to play football anymore but I want him to try and honor his commitment, if he can...We agreed to give it this week and see how he feels...He did fine yesterday at practice and todays was cancelled due to storms...so we will see

Again never would I force either...He is still talking golf and wants to get lessons to play golf this spring...So he talked me into going to the country club to see if he can get lessons...wasnt my idea cause I hate golf...LOL

 

[LilyWDW]

Fear on the field, especially for injury, leads to a player hesitating on the field. This can lead to a more dangerous situation. THAT is what worries me the most about this. It is fear that is leading your son to not want to play. I would be getting him off the field in that case.

 

[CPT Tripss]

Time to study? Not a problem in a revenue producing sport. Or baseball at the right schools.

 

[dolphindan1]

Time to study? Not a problem in a revenue producing sport. Or baseball at the right schools.

Whats the point here?

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Whats the point here?

I took it to mean that athletes "in revenue producing sports or baseball at the right schools" will be, let's say, "helped" with their academics.

I think in response to this

So he practices baseball on the weekends and football all week...How he will find time to study as he isnt the greatest student, we will see...

 

[bellebud]

While I understand the "don't quit" thing, I also think we as parents should teach our children that there are many choices in life, and to not stick with something you don't like or are uncomfortable with, just for the sake of "not quitting".

If quitting means truly letting down the team, the others in a play, etc, that's different. But other than that, go in a different direction if something makes you unhappy.

Life if too short to make yourself be miserable...

 

[pyrxtc]

After seeing what happened to my friends son this weekend from his first football practice for high school, I would say let him quit. This kid is oe of the big kids but they just hit him harder. hard enough to blow out one knee by shattering the kneecap and tear multiple ligaments in the other knee. Hurt so bad that he will be in a wheelchair for weeks before he can go into surgery for repair. Let him quit.

 

[dolphindan1]

I took it to mean that athletes "in revenue producing sports or baseball at the right schools" will be, let's say, "helped" with their academics.

I think in response to this

Maybe so...I couldnt figure it out...It was just so random to me...LOL

 

[wdwmom0f3]

Fear on the field, especially for injury, leads to a player hesitating on the field. This can lead to a more dangerous situation. THAT is what worries me the most about this. It is fear that is leading your son to not want to play. I would be getting him off the field in that case.

My son is in his first year of football and also in the 7th grade. I really didn't know how he would handle the summer workouts and now football practice until 5:30 every day after school, but so far he is hanging in there and actually loving it. I was fully prepared for him to want to quit, and if he came to me today and told me that he was afraid of getting hurt I would let him quit for the reason that I quoted above. If he was just wanting to be lazy and not practice forget it, I would make him do it because the workouts are good for him.

Football is not the right fit for a lot of kids and there is nothing wrong with that at all. I do think that they need to be involved in some kind of sport or school activity though because its good for them in so many ways.

 

[Aliceacc]

Time to study? Not a problem in a revenue producing sport. Or baseball at the right schools.

Is 7th grade football really a revenue producing sport? Espciallly in a school like this one, where there were no cuts for the team?

I took it to mean that athletes "in revenue producing sports or baseball at the right schools" will be, let's say, "helped" with their academics.

I can't speak for other schools, but it is ABSOLUTLEY NOT the case in my school or my husband's. If anything, it's the reverse: the atheletes know they had better keep up their grades or risk being benched. The same is true for behavior. Coaches are very understanding about kids who are late for practice because they needed extra help or had to make up a test. But heaven help the athlete who misses a practice because he got detention.

 

[sk!mom]

I just want you both to know I would never force my kids to play a sport...never...truth be told I tried to talk them both out of football...The oldest is already being contacted for baseball and had already committed to a top Showcase team this fall, was all state this past year as a Sophomore...as a 6'3 lefty pitcher thats his best shot to play anything in college if thats what he wants to do...After he decided to play football I then tried to get him into not play baseball but he wasnt having it....I then had to talk to the baseball coach about him missing weekly practices and he allowed it saying other kids are doing it too....So he practices baseball on the weekends and football all week...How he will find time to study as he isnt the greatest student, we will see...

My youngest...the one who is afraid...had already committed to a club soccer team and decided to play football the day before football practice....it was a scramble to get his pads and physical but he is at a new school and the boys talked him into it...I tried to convince him to give one up too but he was insistent on playing both....

I am actually a bit relieved he doesnt want to play football anymore but I want him to try and honor his commitment, if he can...We agreed to give it this week and see how he feels...He did fine yesterday at practice and todays was cancelled due to storms...so we will see

Again never would I force either...He is still talking golf and wants to get lessons to play golf this spring...So he talked me into going to the country club to see if he can get lessons...wasnt my idea cause I hate golf...LOL

But you ARE forcing him to play. He's asked to quit and you made him go back. Football is a dangerous sport so I fail to see why you would want him to continue unless it's important to you. You've stated that he's involved in another sport so really there should be no worry that wanting to quit is a character flaw.

Sports seem really important to you. Even to the point of hindering academics for your older son.