$10 per student

[TwinsinCA]

All this talk about the kids who would feel bad because they didn't get to sign the card. When would that even happen? Does the room mom come in and pull those kids aside to sign it? It seems more likely that the person who collected the money would sign the names of the kids. Then the teacher sees it only. I don't see how/when the kids who didn't contribute are going to feel left out. Unless the teacher reads the names out in class (and hopefully she would not be that tactless) how will they know if they are part of that gift or not?

It is interesting to read how some people feel the gifts should not be opened in class. My kids' teachers have always done this and I don't see the big deal. There was one year on Valentine's Day that some kids in the class got the teacher a gift. It NEVER occurred to me to buy a gift for something like that and I didn't. If my kids felt "left out" because other kids brought something and they didn't, they didn't bother mentioning it to me.

And I don't think $10 is at all excessive. I usually spend $25- $30 per child on my daughters' teacher. I am just not a fan of the class gift. We did this in Kindergarten for teacher's appreciation and it was a hassle. No one has attempted to organize such a thing in the three years since. I'd rather just buy something myself and be done with it.

 

[cruellababy]

of course they will TAKE anything.
But it makes the parent who had to only give $2 on the asked for $10 feel bad, and who knows what is being said to these kids at school by the teacher or by these room mom's who (SOME< NOT ALL seem to think they are better then the rest of us)

I think it's really unfortunate that you think the teacher would be saying something negative to the kids who couldn't afford to donate or donate the full amount- I think you're more peeved at the amount the teacher is getting.

 

[robinb]

And I am not complaining. .
My husband and I decided on the phone a few min ago we would contact her and contribute what ever was lacking so all the kids names could go on the card. As that is my main concern that all the children feel included. When the teacher is opening her gifts. I remember being one of those kids in school. It isn't easy

That is very nice of you ! I do think the home room mom is clueless so I still think you should try my other suggestion first. It would be pretty easy for the home room mom to send out a clarification so everyone is included without you having to make up the extra $$.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I think it's really unfortunate that you think the teacher would be saying something negative to the kids who couldn't afford to donate or donate the full amount- I think you're more peeved at the amount the teacher is getting.

A part of me does feel bad that in a world where kids don't have food to eat, and there are CHILDREN who won't be getting any gifts at all for Christmas. That $200 would be better spent elsewhere. I know a couple of families in dd's class who had very good jobs worked hard their whole lives, but recently lost those good jobs this year, and are trying hard just to make the ends come together, w/o worrying about this that and the guilt of it all.

So yes, that does bother me a bit.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

That is very nice of you ! I do think the home room mom is clueless so I still think you should try my other suggestion first. It would be pretty easy for the home room mom to send out a clarification so everyone is included without you having to make up the extra $$.

thanks for your thoughts.

 

[mlynn]

for teachers gift certificate...

Isn't that a little much?

And isn't that alot of pressure?

(we were told by the room mom's that only the kids that contribute will have their names added to the card)


The teacher has 20 students in the class..so as a WORK gift the teacher is getting a $200 gc somewhere???

I get that they don't expect all the kids to reply..but even at the worse and only 1/2 apply that's $100 gc for the teacher. (???)

Plus, my dd seems to think that she is a specail teacher and she wants to get her something on her own.

I can appreciate a good teacher. but that seems like alot to me.

I don't think they should tell how much to give.
My DD6 Head room mother sent out and email that she would like to have a class gift.Ok it with all 17 parents and the rule is to give her the money in a plane unmarked envelop.So she doesn't know who gave what.She won't open any of them until she has them all..Give what we can and it will be split 70/30 between the teacher and her aide.

Now my daughters preschool made me really mad today. They give us a list of the teachers and aides.thats fine but on the list is a women who used to be the owner.I'm not giving that lady a gift. 10 in all on the list. So I'm giving the teacher a gift card and then I giving all the aides that work there a card with a scrach of in it.

 

[*Fantasia*]

I'm sorry I don't have much to offer here, but I thought I'd share my story. The Catholic school where my children were going, some teachers ask students not to give them anything for Christmas. Some teachers ask the students to donate some non-perishable food to less unfortunate families.

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I don't think they should tell how much to give.
My DD6 Head room mother sent out and email that she would like to have a class gift.Ok it with all 17 parents and the rule is to give her the money in a plane unmarked envelop.So she doesn't know who gave what.She won't open any of them until she has them all..Give what we can and it will be split 70/30 between the teacher and her aide.

Now my daughters preschool made me really mad today. They give us a list of the teachers and aides.thats fine but on the list is a women who used to be the owner.I'm not giving that lady a gift. 10 in all on the list. So I'm giving the teacher a gift card and then I giving all the aides that work there a card with a scrach of in it.

You are a better woman than me.
I gave my friend a scratch off for her bday one year and she won $500. I was like

 

[ThreeMusketeers]

I'm sorry I don't have much to offer here, but I thought I'd share my story. The Catholic school where my children were going, some teachers ask students not to give them anything for Christmas. Some teachers ask the students to donate some non-perishable food to less unfortunate families.

Also a fantastic Idea!

 

[C.Ann]

My husband and I decided on the phone a few min ago we would contact her and contribute what ever was lacking so all the kids names could go on the card. As that is my main concern that all the children feel included. When the teacher is opening her gifts. I remember being one of those kids in school. It isn't easy

Have a good day.

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What a nice thing to do!

And for those who are wondering how the other children would "know" who contributed and who didn't, now that I've thought about it a bit, they probably wouldn't - but that's not the point.. The point is the person in charge is making that statement as a form of "blackmail".. Totally unacceptable..

And for those who think $10 is not "excessive" or "a lot" - I would assume you still have your jobs; don't live on a small, fixed income; don't have several children who are each being "blackmailed" into contributing $10 per teacher (when those families may be lucky if they even have food on the table right now); etc.. For those who can afford it (or more), that's great.. However, with the current economy and number of people who have lost their jobs, $10 per child could make a huge difference in their home life right now..

I would give what I could afford - but I would never allow anyone to "blackmail" me into giving a "set" amount.. It's probably not the children who will likely feel the brunt of this - it's the jobless parents who will have to listen to: "Well then your childs name won't be included on the card.." That's pathetic in my book.. Nothing like "rubbing someone's nose in it.."

 

[mlynn]

You are a better woman than me.
I gave my friend a scratch off for her bday one year and she won $500. I was like

well they have those santa ones where you get 6 for $5. Hey but I always buy my self a couple why I'm in there.

 

[happygirl]

I wish they would do away with a group gift. Let people do what they can/will do. I think it horrible to not put a student name on the card if they don't send money.

 

[Barb D]

DD9's class this year is doing a GC tree. Each student brings in a GC of his/her choice in the denomination of his/her choice. The room mom sent an e-mail to all the parents, and we responded with the store we're getting the GC from so that they're not all from the same place. Several are doing Target, several are doing B&N, the rest are all over the place. If someone doesn't want to participate, it's their choice.

If we were in the OP's situation, we would probably get a GC from B&N in the amount of our own choosing, and have DD make a hand-made card. Who cares if she's on the class card?

 

[traviesojmt]

Our class is giving our teacher a gift card from the class. All students will be included on the card regardless of whether they donate or not. In our class, we told parents that participation was voluntary and that the donation should be whatever felt appropriate for their family. So far, the majority of parents have given $20. I do think that not including students is wrong, but I do not think that $10 is inappropriate. We have a great teacher that we are extremely grateful.

 

[mumom95]

for teachers gift certificate...

Isn't that a little much?

And isn't that alot of pressure?

(we were told by the room mom's that only the kids that contribute will have their names added to the card)


The teacher has 20 students in the class..so as a WORK gift the teacher is getting a $200 gc somewhere???

I get that they don't expect all the kids to reply..but even at the worse and only 1/2 apply that's $100 gc for the teacher. (???)

Plus, my dd seems to think that she is a specail teacher and she wants to get her something on her own.

I can appreciate a good teacher. but that seems like alot to me.

I don't think asking for $10 is excessive at all.

I usually give each of my kid's teachers a $50 gift card to a restaurant, plus a basket of school supplies for the classroom, and that is just from me, not from the class. I also always put in whatever amount they want towards a class gift. But my kids have always had great teachers, and I am so grateful for what they do for my kids, this is my way of showing my appreciation.

 

[Papa Deuce]

I only read page one, but am I the only one where it is not allowed to give a present?

 

[TwinsinCA]

--------------

And for those who are wondering how the other children would "know" who contributed and who didn't, now that I've thought about it a bit, they probably wouldn't - but that's not the point.

I think that is exactly the point. While I do not want to see a child hurt, I don't have the same level of concern for the parents. If you don't contribute to a shower/retirement/etc. gift at work, should you get credit anyway because anything less is "blackmail"? As an adult you have the choice to prioritize and give gifts as you see fit. Children do not have that option and I agree that they should not be made to feel bad because of things outside of their control.

But I don't assume all or even most of people who do not contribute to gifts are down to their last dollars and by giving $10 they are not going to eat that night. I think most don't contribute out of forgetfulness, apathy, because they don't think the teacher "deserves" it, or they simply want to give their own gift. They are making a choice and they should be comfortable with it. I think calling it blackmail is WAY over the top.

And yes, I know the economy is bad. All of my close friends here in CA (including myself) here have been through a job loss and/or foreclosure in the last 18 months.

 

[Embel]

Did the Room Mother actually say that you can't contribute less, or is that assumed?

In my experience, being the person who handles the group gift is a thankless job. You do all the legwork and something always goes wrong.

Someone gets mad that they contributed more than others & got equal billing. Or someone gets mad that the amount suggested is too low...or too high. Someone says they had no idea it was going on, they didn't get the memo. And someone else sends you the $ 1/2 way through January.

This year, I'm not in charge of our group gift, but I sure appreciate the Mom who is. L, if you read this, thanks!

 

[FoundMyPrince]

First off, it's completely inappropriate to ask children to bring in $10 each for a teacher's gift. If a family can afford to buy a gift then they should be able to do so on their own. If a family cannot afford to contribute to a gift the last thing they need is a note asking for $10 so their child can be like everyone else.

Secondly, every child should be able to sign the card. No other explanation should be necessary.

I'm sure some communities are doing just fine right now and their economy hasn't been effected as much as others (I'm just not sure where that is). However, there are 533,000 folks out of work in one month in this nation and the last thing they need is a letter coming home asking for more money for the child's school.

I'm sure the room mother meant well and is trying to put together a nice gift for the teacher. However, this plan wasn't thought out too well.

 

[gina2000]

Doesn't bother me. If parents want to band together and give a cash gift, good for them. If parents can't or won't give a gift, fine by me. I think it would be better if there were a suggested donation but not a hard and fast one.