You never let me do anything.....

[Mskanga]

I'm tired of getting this line from my oldest when she doesn't get her way, I'm tired of having to ask 6 times for the same thing to be done and then be accused of always yelling at her. Hello? after I ask you 6 times to do the same thing, you want me to be nice and not yell?
Somebody please hold me today....on top of that I have dh telling me that I'm PMS'ing. I think I need another vacation from them!!

 

[Eiblis]

((((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))))))

and that really bugs me when a bad mood is blamed on PMS rather than the ppl around me

Hope you find some peace soon, and feel better even sooner.

 

[Mishetta]

Going through the same growing pains here Mskanga! Don't feel alone. And that remark your DH made, nothing that a frying pan over the head won't cure!

 

[iNTeNSeBLue98]

And I thought I was the only one who repeated requests to DD half a dozen times with no results Here's a {{{hug}}} kanga. I too feel like I need a family vacation away from the family .

 

[Cinders]

on top of that I have dh telling me that I'm PMS'ing.

Hmmmmmm so what excuse does he have if he would act the same way?

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>hmmmm, maybe you should tell them that since you're PMSing, you should remove yourself from their presence for awhile

Then go see a movie and enjoy yourself.

Hugs, Olga.

 

[Val]

I teach a class on animal behavior, and always include information about elephants and adolescent behavior. Elephants send their "adolescent" males out into the bush to grow up. They form rogue herds and are only allowed back near the females and young AFTER they have learned a few social skills. In addiiton, the female adolescents assist in child care, and may get a censure (sent out of the herd for a while) or a sharp cuff with the trunk.....wild horses are similar. The dominant mare runs the herd. If an adolescent misbehaves she send him/her out of the herd and they must grovel (chewing the grass, head down, looking "remorseful", so to speak) before they are allowed in.....

.....I propose we humans develop a similar strategy. Let's send our adolescents out into the bush, errr, I mean boarding school until they can show us appropriate social skills! And yes, I have been "fighting" with my DD's 15 and 11.5 regarding the status of their rooms (we at least have to meet health code!). PLEASE tell me that DS7 will be easier before we have to deal with adolescence of my DD5!!!!!!

Here's sending you a bushel of pixie dust! And remember the curse: "May God send you children just like yourself!!!!" (Maybe that's MY problem!).

 

[Mskanga]

Oh Val, do you have any idea of how many times I get the...now you know what you put me through? ( my mom tells me )
I just get away from my family when they get like this, they need to spend time without me!

 

[Pooh93]

It's okay...my soon to be 8 dd thinks she's the ONLY one in the world that ever gets in trouble. She says I NEVER yell at her younger sister, that I'm always nicer to HER. My response is...your younger sister does not talk back to me the way you do.

I'm not sure who has been doing more PMs'ing...her or me. These hormonal pre-teenage years are scaring me to death!

 

[rae519]

It all starts when they were young - if you didn't get them to do it after asking the first time, then the second time there would be a consequence. Without being held accountable for behavior, children will never learn.

It's either do it or there is a consequence (no TV, no computer, no horseback riding....).

Rae

 

[Rock'n Robin]

My oldest DD is 11. Not only do I get some of the same behavior, if she does something and apologizes and I just say "OK", she cries because I "didn't accept her apology"!! It can be maddening.
Robin M.

 

[browneyes]

I think a vacation away sounds perfect. I think you need to slip your dh some pamprin though.

Tigh, I bet you're fun at parties. Do you pull out cards a lot at parties?

 

[Pooh93]

It's either do it or there is a consequence (no TV, no computer, no horseback riding....).

I agree Rae. My dd has lost her rights to cartoons, movies and her precious BICYCLE! That is really her achille's heel right now. I took her bicycle away for the entire day yesterday because Friday night there was a kid flying up and down the street on his four wheeler and I told her to get off the street with her bicycle for obvious safety reasons. (I was a little aggravated with him too, because he saw all these little kids...8 and under...out playing and could've picked a better time to ride...but hey it's a free country..so I was protecting my own.) I told her twice, which was more than I should have, but the third time I took her bike away for the night and when she started to argue with me, I told her she lost it for the entire day saturday. She never even asked me for it on saturday, so I think she's getting the message. I explained to her friday night that as her parents, it's her dad's and my responsiblity to protect her and youngest dd from harm and what kind of parent would I be to let them get run over by a four wheeler. She seemed to understand a little better after she'd calmed down.

It is not easy being a parent!!!

I always love these type threads, btw because it makes me feel like I'm not alone. Maybe we need to start a Dis support group for parents! I like to see how other's handle different situations with their kids!

 

[Leota]

Val, I'm roflmao! I often have the Herd of Rogue Males over, we seem to be the hang out place.....

The parents always tell me how rotten their kid has been lately, but over here they are great. Of course, Max tends to lose social skills here & gain them back miraclulously at his friend's.......

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by Pooh93
I agree Rae. My dd has lost her rights to cartoons, movies and her precious BICYCLE! That is really her achille's heel right now. I took her bicycle away for the entire day yesterday

My precious dd (before 11yo) could care less what the punishment was. Believe me we tried. Her bike was taken away for 6 months, as an example. So that does not work for everyone.

However....since she turned 11yos a change has happened. I tell her I am her link to having fun, saying yes to going with friends, decent clothing (cool), having girlfriends spend the night, etc...
I tell ya', I would have never believed she would listen to me but miracles do happen.
Oh, and if dd EVER said "YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING" I would warn her not to say it or I will make it come true. She knows by now I am NOT joking.

Also I am still doing my HUG THERAPY I invented for her. Still working, btw. She starts with her mouth, I chase her down to hug her. Believe me there is nothing she hates worse than to have mom try and put some love on her when she wants to be mad/yell at me.

((((HUGS TO YOU)))))

 

[Mskanga]

Taking priviledges away from dd sometimes does not work, if I take the TV away from her she's the happiest kid reading a good book, if I take the bike away from her she couldn't care less, but if I take away her best friend from coming down to play or her going there ( which they have been doing daily this summer because we both live in the same street ) , now THAT hurts. I took that away yesterday and she knew I wasn't playing, she knew I meant business because when the friend called I told her she wasn't allowed to even get phone calls.
She's not a bad kid , don't take me wrong, but I get tired of finding "everything" in the livingroom just because that's the first place you step into , as soon as you get into this house. I know a lot of people would say just be happy you have healthy children, I am happy, and I don't forget how lucky I am , but that doesn't mean I have to do everything for them. I am the first one to admit sometimes I'm a little too much over them asking them to do something , but if they put away their own things ( not anyone else's ) from the beginning, I wouldn't have to ask.

 

[ASFCurly]

I had the same problem with some of my girls at camp this summer, it was such a pain.

 

[rae519]

Originally posted by Mskanga
I know a lot of people would say just be happy you have healthy children, I am happy, and I don't forget how lucky I am , but that doesn't mean I have to do everything for them.

Although it has been over 9 years that she has passed on, never once have I regretted either disciplining or taking things away from Kayla when she was naughty or didn't put things away. My philosophy was that if it's yours and you want it, then take care of it OR it becomes mine and I do what I want to with it (including the trash!)

No, it's not easy being a parent, but then again - what JOB is?!

Rae