You guys are never going to believe this....Update post 79

[PUZZLDY5]

I just got off the phone with my BFF and her husband did the unthinkable.
Backstory: When they got married about 20 years ago they made a COLLECTIVE decision that she would stay at home with the kids. He is an OTR truck driver and they felt it was best for the kids. So therefore she has never had a job away from the house.

Fast forward 20 years.
He comes home from the road today and says "Oh yeah, by the way, I baught a HOUSE and I closed on it today. We are moving next week. My poor friend has never even seen this house. She asked him how he baught a house without her and he said since she isn't employed he didn't need her to sign on anything.

I told her that good divorce attorneys have the biggest ads iin the yellow pages.

Do you believe that!!

 

[disneydreamersx4]

My goodness that's some surprise.....could be a good one if the wife has always wanted a house (assuming they are renting now). He should have clued her in though not surprise her like that with such a large purchase. I wonder if they have to move to a new state?

 

[kwelch10377]

Is this house in the same town they live in now or near it?

What was his reasoning for buying a house without talking to her about it or involving her in the search for it?

 

[OceanAnnie]

That is hard to believe! Has he always been a donkey's behind or is this a new development?

 

[PUZZLDY5]

No, not a new state or anything like that she is just sooo upset that he didn't even discuss it with her first. They are renting and she understands that it makes more sense to buy than rent but her son is going to have to change schools and thta is not something that she wanted to do. This is not a good surprise for her.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

That is hard to believe! Has he always been a donkey's behind or is this a new development?

Definately a new development. I would have never have guessed he would go and do something like this and I've known her all my life and him since high school.

 

[OceanAnnie]

That wouldn't be a good surprise for anyone. That was some really messed up thinking on his part. There would be no, "Taming of the Shrew", on this one.

 

[MickeyCrazedMom]

Last year when the foreclosed house next to us sold, we went over to meet the new owner. He was super nice and said he was married with 2 young kids. He had closed on the house that day and told us he was about to go tell his wife as a surprise. I thought he meant that they had looked at it together and he just did the paperwork as a surprise. Nope - she had never even seen it and didn't know that he had made the purchase. She says it was a good surprise, but my husband would not have liked my reaction at all if he did that!

Jewelry, vacation - that's a nice surprise.

$250K house that we have to live in for god knows how long - not so much

 

[PUZZLDY5]

Is it even legal that he did this. I mean they have been married forever. Isn't their some sort of law or something that would protect SAHM's from this? Can she do anything to stop it short of getting a divorce or is she stuck living in a house that she doesn't even want?

 

[ols386]

That IS unbelievable. Wonder why he would do that. If I were your friend, I would not be happy at all with him.

 

[OceanAnnie]

She could have him committed and that would revoke all the legal papers involving the sale.

ETA- That would be a relief for him, because he would never hear the end of it.

 

[themilesfamily]

If my husband secretly won the lottery and secretly bought me the mansion of my dreams, I'd be okay with it.

Short of that, not so much.

 

[kwelch10377]

Is it even legal that he did this. I mean they have been married forever. Isn't their some sort of law or something that would protect SAHM's from this? Can she do anything to stop it short of getting a divorce or is she stuck living in a house that she doesn't even want?

As long as he did not put her name on anything without her consent or forge her signature there is nothing illegal about it. I am sure this happens a lot (maybe not a house purchase, but big ticket items) regardless of whether one of the spouses is a stay at home parent.

 

[Heidict]

Is it even legal that he did this. I mean they have been married forever. Isn't their some sort of law or something that would protect SAHM's from this? Can she do anything to stop it short of getting a divorce or is she stuck living in a house that she doesn't even want?

Nope no law against it. He can purchase what ever he wants without his wife permission.

I would not be happy if my DH did this. In fact, I just might kill him. This just shows a total disregard to his wife's wants, needs and value in their marriage and relationship. It is such an insult. Almost like he looks at her as his maid and so she would have no say in what goes on in the home.

I really hope it's a great house and she falls in love with it and that it ends up being a blessing in disguise.

 

[a1tinkfans]

I just got off the phone with my BFF and her husband did the unthinkable.
Backstory: When they got married about 20 years ago they made a COLLECTIVE decision that she would stay at home with the kids. He is an OTR truck driver and they felt it was best for the kids. So therefore she has never had a job away from the house.

Fast forward 20 years.
He comes home from the road today and says "Oh yeah, by the way, I baught a HOUSE and I closed on it today. We are moving next week. My poor friend has never even seen this house. She asked him how he baught a house without her and he said since she isn't employed he didn't need her to sign on anything.

I told her that good divorce attorneys have the biggest ads iin the yellow pages.

Do you believe that!!

my sil husband did that many many moons ago...they are no longer married. His controlling ways came to light VERY strongly........and what kind of marriage does your friend have where there is no communication? Thats not a partnership, sounds like a parent child situation, sad for her! Hope she is able to work thru this.............for her and her kids!

 

[themilesfamily]

In my state, the rule of thumb is "one signature to buy, two signatures to sell."

So he can buy it -- but she must sign off on it if/when the time comes to sell the property.

 

[MoniqueU]

My friends ex did similar with a foreclosure up the street but he basically told her about the house and divorce at the same time, she had to sign a quick claim deed I think it is called on the new house and get her name off the old house at the same time.

When we moved here from another county I had my DH rent ne a house sight unseen. I gave him a general idea of what I wanted and he did good, but I knew about that. I think he has also surprised me with a few cars here and there. I would know what we were getting but not go out on the lot for it. He did once buy waverunners without my knowledge with my DS. Turned out to be a stupid purchase.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

She asked him if this was his way of asking for a divorce and he said no. Truthfully that is what she was expecting but he siaid that's not what he wanted. Poor thing.

 

[Luvchefmic]

I feel badly for your friend on one hand but I don't know how he could do this? I understand they agreed that she would be a SAHM but did they agree that HE would be in charge of the finances ? Does she not know where his income goes and how much he makes? This is the part I don't understand.

 

[PUZZLDY5]

I feel badly for your friend on one hand but I don't know how he could do this? I understand they agreed that she would be a SAHM but did they agree that HE would be in charge of the finances ? Does she not know where his income goes and how much he makes? This is the part I don't understand.

No she has been in charge of the finances pretty much since he is gone all the time. I asked he if she noticed any money missing for the down payment and she told me that since he is a first time buyer he only had to come up with a minimal down payment with FHA. She said he got the money from his parents.