"You can tell them no..."

[FlightlessDuck]

Why would you bring toys to a perfectly good park? I agree the child doesn't have to share. I'm just asking why not just play with the playground equipment?

 

[MickeyMinnieMom]

I would have taken the tone down a notch, but agree wholeheartedly that there is not only no obligation to share with every child in a park, but I don't understand those who raise their kids to think that they should ASSUME everyone always has to share with them.

 

[MickeyMinnieMom]

Why would you bring toys to a perfectly good park? I agree the child doesn't have to share. I'm just asking why not just play with the playground equipment?

We never brought toys to the park. Figured at the park, we'd do stuff that is AT THE PARK! But MANY people brought stuff, for sure.

I do remember being in Central Park once, though, at one of the many little kids' parks, and my son had a little toy cab that we had just bought at one of the gift shops nearby. A boy approached him, said "you have to share that with me" and took it. DS just stood there... stunned...! I encouraged him to tell the boy that it was his new toy and he really wanted to play with it. The kid did not seem phased by that. Finally, the kid's mom saw what had happened and asked her son to give it back. So, here is a case where at least the parents seemed to act civilly all around!

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

Why would you bring toys to a perfectly good park? I agree the child doesn't have to share. I'm just asking why not just play with the playground equipment?

We bring sand toys to the park we go to because the whole playground is sandy and the kids like to build castles. We also bring scooters, bikes, basketballs...etc.

(Not all in the same day)

 

[FlightlessDuck]

We bring sand toys to the park we go to because the whole playground is sandy and the kids like to build castles. We also bring scooters, bikes, basketballs...etc.

I withdrawal my statement. Those are excellent examples.

 

[MickeyMinnieMom]

We bring sand toys to the park we go to because the whole playground is sandy and the kids like to build castles. We also bring scooters, bikes, basketballs...etc.

(Not all in the same day)

But if you DID bring it all in one day, think about all the people you could SHARE with!!!

Those are great examples -- make perfect sense. I was thinking about things like action figures, etc. They seem to keep kids from active play, which seems to be what parks are basically for. But, whatever... to each his/her own!! Never bothered me either way.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Why would you bring toys to a perfectly good park? I agree the child doesn't have to share. I'm just asking why not just play with the playground equipment?

Not all kids are social butterflies, and active on the equipment.
In fact, some kids (maybe especially boys, because of the active rough-n-tough thing) may not be wired for this kind of play.
Not all kids are the same.
(I will put on my flame-suit here, and bring up the much maligned, but very real,neurological/developmental/and social differences)
Why would 'using the equipment' be the only way to enjoy a park?

 

[quandrea]

Why did the mother feel the need for photo documentation and feel the need to post on Facebook. Stuff like this clogging up my feed reminds me why I got off Facebook. Waste of time. People's need to document the minutiae of their lives is egocentric to the extreme. Nobody cares what you do in a day!

 

[Wishing on a star]

I also agree with the, 'as an adult', argument...
If I bring a great Starbucks type drink, books/magazines to read, music and headphones, other things... why would any adult have any expectation and mandate that I should share?
It really is just not even something that I can wrap my head around that one should have to share everything with strangers.

I have to agree with this one mother, (whos kid seems to maybe be on the spectrum, just based on her comments) Why does being a nice/okay person mandate that we have to always share with strangers? It is okay, in many circumstance, to tell somebody 'no'. Something the OP admits, as a woman, obviously raised to be a 'nice girl', was taught otherwise.

Again, if one doesn't share with closer friends.. thenyes, one might not have a lot of friends...
And, again, that is a TOTALLY different issue.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Quandrea, I agree about Facebook!!!!
And, that is why I do not even do FB.... My choice.

But, the thing is, the fact that she did do this, about a very valid issue, (not minutiae of her life, like the Starbucks Unicorn Drink she had this afternoon....) is what has brought this here to the DIS and into our current national/social discussions.

 

[ronandannette]

...I also really don't like the message being taught to some kids that you must do what someone else asks - in this case, give up a toy to another. Isn't that a slippery slope into being a pushover to bullies? Or in a true extreme, going along with something inappropriate because someone else asks.

This is a very good point but a somewhat difficult issue to grapple with. Even those of us who have a super-high value for giving and really want to install selflessness into our kids still also want them to know how to assert their own interests when necessary and protect their dignity and personal safety. Not that toys are that big a deal by any means but kids that age aren't abstract thinkers. I can totally see why the Mother had to step in.

I agree wth PP's who have said the way the incident is being related makes it sound harsh (and a little unbelievable). In general though it seems like it absolutely was a teachable moment and I disagree with those who said the kids should have been left to fend for themselves.

 

[quandrea]

Quandrea, I agree about Facebook!!!!
And, that is why I do not even do FB.... My choice.

But, the thing is, the fact that she did do this, about a very valid issue, (not minutiae of her life, like the Starbucks Unicorn Drink she had this afternoon....) is what has brought this here to the DIS and into our current national/social discussions.

I hear what you are saying, but we are only discussing it because she felt a need to post something so self centred that it brought it to our attention. Sharing of toys and social norms is an interesting conversation, but how we got here is a direct result of this woman thinking we need to hear about what happened to her at the park. Documenting every little think with words and photos for all the world to see is absurd.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I agree, ronandarnett, especially if the kids are as young as I am thinking.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I don't see this as self-centered... at all.
It involves a very real parenting issue that is affecting her child.

It definitely wasn't "Hey, look at my little special snowflake master the big-boy slide!!!!"

Sorry, but I will have to agree to disagree here.

 

[quandrea]

I don't see this as self-centered... at all.
It involves a very real parenting issue that is affecting her child.

It definitely wasn't "Hey, look at my little special snowflake master the big-boy slide!!!!"

Sorry, but I will have to agree to disagree here.

Fair enough. I see her parenting issue. I take issue with her need to broadcast it to the world. I have parenting issues every day that don't become social media fodder.

Edit to add: I have come on here in the past to ask about parenting issues. What would you do type things. I see that as asking a community of peers for help. I don't think that was her intention.

 

[sunshinehighway]

.

I don't see this as self-centered... at all.
It involves a very real parenting issue that is affecting her child.

It definitely wasn't "Hey, look at my little special snowflake master the big-boy slide!!!!"

Sorry, but I will have to agree to disagree here.

I took it as "look at how great my kid is. He shares because he's so wonderful and wants to. Your kids are all greedy snowflakes".
In reality her kid brought one transformer for two people to play with. It's hardly an example of her parenting skills being so superior.

 

[nd5056]

Just a tought... wouldn't this be the best Reality Show ever made if we assemble a Jury Duty out of this Community Board members??? We can do way better then this:

 

[mjkacmom]

Looking at the picture, that is a fun looking playground, and some lame toys. I'm guessing the boys just wanted to see what he had. I can't imagine little boys wanting to stop climbing, sliding and swinging to play with a minecraft doll.

 

[luvsJack]

Maybe what got her to posting this is the same thing that brings many of us here to start a thread. Just her "thought" or "issue" of the day. I think we would have to know more details to really know the situation. Like do the same group of kids play at the park every visit? Do they all bring toys to share?

If all the kids in the park tend to bring things and share with the other kids, then there is some expectation of that. I would have told my child ahead of time, if you don't want to share these toys, lets bring something along with it that you do want to share. And I would have reminded him each time we went to the park that he needs to bring something that he can share with the others.

OTOH, I have always hated when a child walks up to a situation where other kids are and they all surround the child wanting a turn with whatever toy they have in their hands. Don't even like it at birthday parties when presents are opened. I always told mine, "he/she doesn't have to share. That is theirs. You have your own stuff". And I have told other kids, "he/she doesn't want to share it right now, maybe later".

Kids really shouldn't be told they "have" to share all the time. I am not sharing my car with my neighbor, why on earth should my child have to share his/her favorite toy with every kid that comes along?

But really, all of this is just normal kid behavior. Wanting to play with someone else's toys or not wanting to share everything you own. Both are just simply normal kid stuff.

 

[MickeyMinnieMom]

Looking at the picture, that is a fun looking playground, and some lame toys. I'm guessing the boys just wanted to see what he had. I can't imagine little boys wanting to stop climbing, sliding and swinging to play with a minecraft doll.

Then perhaps you don't know Minecraft!! Some kids are OBSESSED with this stuff!!