Yet Another Wedding Etiquette Thread

[diznygirl]

Here's the thing, while Vegans can not eat non-vegan food, a non-vegan can totally eat vegan food. It's not like the guests would not be able to eat anything there. They may not prefer it, but since when do wedding guests pick the menu. It's not a big deal in my opinion.

Not necessarily. My kid is allergic to lots of fruits, veggies, nuts, and grains. Some of the will kill him variety, some will just cause him to break out in hives. So it would depend on the actual dishes served.

The bride has every right to her ethics. I think we'd attend the wedding and skip the reception. Save the dad some $$$.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

We'd compromise and offer vegan and non-vegan options, otherwise she can foot the bill and do whatever she wants.

 

[BrianL]

Not necessarily. My kid is allergic to lots of fruits, veggies, nuts, and grains. Some of the will kill him variety, some will just cause him to break out in hives. So it would depend on the actual dishes served.

The bride has every right to her ethics. I think we'd attend the wedding and skip the reception. Save the dad some $$$.

Well, of course that's different, and that would be an accommodation for a guest that makes sense. It's just that there's nothing inherently wrong about an all vegan menu.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

Not necessarily. My kid is allergic to lots of fruits, veggies, nuts, and grains. Some of the will kill him variety, some will just cause him to break out in hives. So it would depend on the actual dishes served.

The bride has every right to her ethics. I think we'd attend the wedding and skip the reception. Save the dad some $$$.

If your kid is invited to a non vegan wedding how would it be different?

I've yet to meet a vegan who refused to go to a function that didn't accommodate their food preferences. They would just eat beforehand or afterward. Boycotting the wedding would seem petty, no?

Honestly, if you are so worried about not eating meat for one meal, swing by the drive through before you get there.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

 

[nkereina]

I'm getting married in August and have been very cognizant of things my guests may or may not like when planning the menu options. The people I invite are my guests that I'm hosting coming to celebrate something important to me, so the least I can do is cater to them which includes making sure they're comfortable with a variety of food they can choose from. Something for everyone. I want people to leave thinking "that was a fun wedding", not rolling their eyes thinking "get me out of here!"

If the bride and groom are vegans because of ethical reasons, then I guess I can understand it. Might be a similar situation if they were Jewish or Muslim and certain foods weren't part of their culture. But most vegans I know do it because they like the challenge, want to watch their weight, or like to be trendy. If the bride and groom fit into the latter category, then they are being narrow minded and selfish about the menu IMO.

FWIW, my parents are paying for our wedding and they have been very hands off. They'll give opinions, but would never force us to do or pick something solely because they are paying for it. That being said, I wouldn't make my non-vegan family members conform to my eating habits just for the sake of it either.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I'm getting married in August and have been very cognizant of things my guests may or may not like when planning the menu options. The people I invite are my guests that I'm hosting coming to celebrate something important to me, so the least I can do is cater to them which includes making sure they're comfortable with a variety of food they can choose from. Something for everyone. I want people to leave thinking "that was a fun wedding", not rolling their eyes thinking "get me out of here!"

If the bride and groom are vegans because of ethical reasons, then I guess I can understand it. Might be a similar situation if they were Jewish or Muslim and certain foods weren't part of their culture. But most vegans I know do it because they like the challenge, want to watch their weight, or like to be trendy. If the bride and groom fit into the latter category, then they are being narrow minded and selfish about the menu IMO.

FWIW, my parents are paying for our wedding and they have been very hands off. They'll give opinions, but would never force us to do or pick something solely because they are paying for it. That being said, I wouldn't make my non-vegan family members conform to my eating habits just for the sake of it either.

Vegan to be trendy? That's a new one for me. Reminds me of someone who once said many, many years ago that that was the reason I married a non-white man.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

View attachment 176504

Do meme's ever get old for you like they do for most of the rest of us?

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

Do meme's ever get old for you like they do for most of the rest of us?

 

[MariMama]

Vegan to be trendy? That's a new one for me. Reminds me of someone who once said many, many years ago that that was the reason I married a non-white man.

Yes, many people try to be vegan because it is the newest 'in' thing.

 

[disykat]

If your kid is invited to a non vegan wedding how would it be different?

I've yet to meet a vegan who refused to go to a function that didn't accommodate their food preferences. They would just eat beforehand or afterward. Boycotting the wedding would seem petty, no?

Honestly, if you are so worried about not eating meat for one meal, swing by the drive through before you get there.

Did you read the post? The poster that you quoted said nothing about boycotting the wedding. She indicated she would attend, skipping the reception only because that's where the allergens could be a problem. Having an airborne allergy is different than having a food preference. OP was not demanding anything, just quietly keeping out of danger - avoiding causing an issue at the wedding. I applaud her common sense.

 

[disykat]

Back to the topic. I think the host has a say in the menu. My parents didn't host my wedding, I did. They did give me a gift of some money to help though. I intend to do the same for my kids. Like others have said, a gift of money implies they can do as they please with it. Hosting a party for them is a very different thing.

 

[nkereina]

Vegan to be trendy? That's a new one for me. Reminds me of someone who once said many, many years ago that that was the reason I married a non-white man.

Yes, many people try to be vegan because it is the newest 'in' thing.

Yep - MariMama hit the nail on the head. I know a few hipsters that are vegan one day and not the next, just because it's the cool thing to do. I went out to dinner with a friend last week who said she is pescetarian (eats fish but no meat), but will have "special occasion meat". She ate beef brisket while we were out because it was special occasion. Not sure her reason for being pescetarian, but it's clearly not for animal rights.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

 

[pearlieq]

No one's going to perish from eating one vegan meal. They may even...gasp!...like it. It could be an interesting change a pace for a lot of people. Plus, the cranks will be able to entertain themselves for months telling their horror story!

I suppose the father would be within his "rights" to deny funding, but I just can't see this being a hill worth dying on.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I'm allergic to photosynthesis.

 

[Hikergirl]

I'm with the dad, if you know you are going to have non-vegan guests then you should have a non-vegan option.

 

[focusondisney]

Timely thread. My son is getting married this summer. We gave them a sum of money towards the wedding as did her parents. We never considered overriding their choices. Of course, I already know how my son & future daughter in law think & how they act. So I knew we would be comfortable with anything they planned well before we offered them the money. They are offering beef, chicken & gluten free vegan options. We went to a tasting with them & tried all 3 entrees. Just gave them our choices yesterday. I loved all 3 things but I actually chose
the vegan option. I can go into the restaurant & order their special beef dish & the chicken is pretty standard at most restaurants. I decided it would be he only time I could get that vegan dish as it's only a banquet option at that restaurant. I was surprised at how delicious it was when we were at the tasting & I am really looking forward to it. I even have a few family members considering it coz of how much I've talked about it, LOL!!!

 

[diznygirl]

If your kid is invited to a non vegan wedding how would it be different?

I've yet to meet a vegan who refused to go to a function that didn't accommodate their food preferences. They would just eat beforehand or afterward. Boycotting the wedding would seem petty, no?

A non-vegan meal would include beef, chicken or fish - he can eat any of those.

No boycotting the wedding - just skip the reception. It's an option. If course, this is purely hypothetical. I'd guess that any vegan friends we have would be a lot more accomodating than this bride.