Yet Another Wedding Etiquette Thread

[antmaril]

From the other thread:

leebee: LOL- I needed a good wedding etiquette thread today!

Goofy_Disney_Dad: You can never go wrong with a good wedding etiquette thread.

Ask and ye shall receive.

On Friday at work, one of the women said she read a Dear Abby knockoff internet story.

Bride's father is paying 100% for the reception. Bride and her fiancé are strict vegans. Bride wants only vegan food served. Father objects, saying she should accommodate non-vegan guests as well. Bride is stubborn and refuses to even consider the idea.

About half the women said bride should be able to do whatever she wants, it's her day, father paying is a gift, etc. Others, including me, say that whoever is paying has some say in the matter, and that if she wants things totally her way, she can pay for it herself.

Any thoughts?

I didn't read any of the other replies. I agree with you.

 

[CPanther95]

I don't know anyone whose had a wedding in years where a single party paid for it anyway.

Then most of these comments don't apply. If multiple people are paying for the reception, then they all have a say in whether or not they want to piss off their guests.

Most of the comments are directed at the subject of the thread which is a bride wanting to dictate terms to her father who is footing the bill.

I used to be a vegetarian, I'm not anymore. But if I didn't want to serve meat at my wedding, graduation party, baby shower or anything, I have a group of friends who support my dietary choices. I was handed my family, but not my friends. If people were joking about selling burgers in the parking lot, talking about talking directly to the caterer or projecting that I ate at a restaurant that served meat in the past, let me tell you who could easily be dropped from my guest list, family or not.

Dropping them would certainly be an option. But as a good host you should also make clear well ahead of time that it will be an exclusively vegan meal - that way guests have the option to drop themselves.

 

[Jeannie]

What if the parent paying for a reception decides that they don't like the color that the coupled picked. The bridesmaids' dresses, the groomsmen ties, the invitations and decorations at the ceremony are all that color. Does the parent get to just change that color because they offered to pay for the reception? I don't know anyone whose had a wedding in years where a single party paid for it anyway. How can you say that the money contributed by anyone goes strictly to the ceremony or strictly to the reception. Not everyone who gives money to their child's wedding consider themselves the host of the reception. I haven't received an invitation in a long time that lists the parents as the host.

DH and I just paid for DD1's reception in May and will be paying for DD2's reception in August. We discussed dinner menu choices together, and where many choices needed to be made for passed hors d'oeuvres, chafing dishes, and stations, we equally made choices. Hosting the receptions has nothing to do with the look, colors, clothing, ceremony choices, etc. Those decisions were fully made by DDs and their young men.

 

[Julie's Haircut]

I used to be a vegetarian, I'm not anymore. But if I didn't want to serve meat at my wedding, graduation party, baby shower or anything, I have a group of friends who support my dietary choices. I was handed my family, but not my friends. If people were joking about selling burgers in the parking lot, talking about talking directly to the caterer or projecting that I ate at a restaurant that served meat in the past, let me tell you who could easily be dropped from my guest list, family or not.

I wish some people would drop me from their guest lists. Thanks for the ideas.