Would You Sign A Prenuptial Agreement Before Your Wedding?

[BethID]

I did not have one when I got married. Then again my DH and I did not have any large assets and what we have we have built together. However, I did have a post-nup agreement drawn up when my DH decided to go back to school. I did not want to pay for his education and then have a break-up. Ten years after his graduation date, he will have "paid" me back.

However, if I were to marry a second time, I will definitely want a pre-nup. We have worked hard for what we have and I would want my boys to receive that. I don't want to have to split my retirement or sell my house if I were to divorce a second husband. I have seen too many second spouses end up with special family mementos because they were not protected.

As far as Paul McCartney, he gets what he deserves. Definitely was not thinking with the right head!

 

[Tantor]

When I moved in with my DH (before marriage) he had his house paid off so yes we did sign an agreement but it was till we got married only.

 

[Dr Pepsi]

I'd sign one in certain situations.

If we both went in with little or no assets, I would absolutely not sign one.

If one of us had a lot of assets and/or debt, I'd sign one.

I'd insist on one if he wanted me to be a homemaker to protect myself if the marriage failed.

I've known way too many people who thought they had a good marriage, only to find themselves in divorce court. I'd want to protect myself, and I'd understand if my spouse wanted to protect himself.

 

[PhotobearSam]

I would only sign one if my DH to be was SUPER rich and I don't mean 10 million...

Anything over 50 million, I believe that he would have the right to protect himself because people do weird things for money (ex. Anna Nicole Smith)

I would want a pre-nup that would progress with time. I stay 1-5 yrs, I get a little, I stay 6 to 10 yrs, a bit more, 11 to 15, more etc...

It would also work the other way if he divorces me...I would get more than if I left.

DH wanted to sign one before we got married because my Parents gave (I sound spoiled now don't I) a business and sold us a house for 1/2 it's worth and they have $. I said don't be Silly...Just being married to me and putting up with me makes you earn it...LOL We did not get one.

I told him I don't believe in divorce so he had better be real sure when he slipped that ring on my finger.

 

[froglady]

I do agree that I would not sign one a week before the wedding! It should be brought up either before the engagement, or immediately after, while wedding plans are still being made. I would consider bringing the subject up less than 90 days before the wedding to be manipulative, and I would not want to marry someone who acted that way. I would eat the deposits, etc. and consider myself lucky to have avioded a huge mistake.

 

[NMAmy]

I respond, "Yeah every person who's ever had a hostile divorce/custody battle at one time thought "not my spouse; they'd never hurt me or the kids." .

This is why I would sign one. My ex and I knew each other for 5 years before marrying and were married for 15 years at the time of our divorce. Never in a million years could I or anyone else have predicted the change that came over him. My ex-MIL called me and told me, "He would never do those things. He thinks the sun doesn't shine until you get up." Apparently, someone else was making the sun shine for him at that point.

Once it's happened to you personally, you never forget and you're never naive again.

 

[bamajill]

:
Once it's happened to you personally, you never forget and you're never naive again.

You know, it has never happened to me personally...but I am not silly or vain enough to believe it never could. I've seen it happen to my sister and to two dear friends...never, EVER would have believed it could, but it does happen and it is AWFUL to watch. I can only imagine how much harder it must be to live through.

My husband & I have been married almost 15 years and we did not sign one b/c we had nothing. If something were to happen and I were to ever be in a position to marry again, then I would consider it strongly. Especially if my husband had passed away and left life insurance money (which is obviously intended for our children..not for any future relationship I may or may not have). To me, it would be more about respecting his wishes & his hard work (by protecting what he provided our children with) than about not trusting my future spouse.

For those of you who never would consider it under any circumstances, would you not want your current spouse to protect your assets (for your children) if you die and they were to ever remarry? I just can't imagine my kids getting screwed over b/c my husband wasn't willing to legally protect them. And yes, I would consider that a haunt-able offense.

 

[Robinrs]

Heh heh, good point! I think too many people go into marriage without knowing each other long enough to get to know the real person. "Try before you buy!" Then hopefully you won't end up with a tool.

DH and I married after almost 8 years together. I knew he would never try to take $ from me, even if I had any.

It's not just the amount of time... people do change.

My ex and I were together 6 years before we committed. Two years later he was declared schizophrenic after he manipulated and schemed his way around our finances. I am STILL working my way out of them! He ruined my credit, sold all of his assets and moved into a house his mother built him that he doesn't own so we can't get our hands on it. He quit his job and didn't tell us he was on Social Security until he was loony enough to throw it in my face. I checke and my son got $8,000 in arrears... and he was only 4!

No one and nothing is guaranteed. My sister knew her husband ONE WEEK before she agreed to marry him, and only had ONE DATE! That was 45 years ago and they're still together.

I guess what I'm saying is life is changeable and though you may know your intentions you NEVER know someone else's. My current boyfriend's family is VERY wealthy (as my ex's was) but I'm the one with the house and the child. You can bet the farm that we'll have a prenup, my son will NOT lose in this deal... that is called responsibility.

My parents were married for 61 years when my Mom died. My Dad had to go to a lawyer the day after her funeral to get all of their facts in line. No one plans death or divorce but they are realities. Too many people have lost everything living in Pollyanna land... this is Reality World. "I love you" ain't all you need to live off of..

 

[meandtheguys2]

For those of you who never would consider it under any circumstances, would you not want your current spouse to protect your assets (for your children) if you die and they were to ever remarry? I just can't imagine my kids getting screwed over b/c my husband wasn't willing to legally protect them. And yes, I would consider that a haunt-able offense.

Our kids already have their education paid for, as well as the money for their first homes. And the farm, in a trust. I don't believe in waiting until death to share! I also don't believe that inheritances are rights. If my folks or DH's folks want to leave their money to their pets (or spend it all themselves) that is their right. the same goes for my husband. If he wants to marry some other wonderful woman after I pass, then they have the right to do what they choose with their money.

As far as divorce goes, I know that I have no need or desire to take what was his, and he feels the same. We were willing to trust one another on that issue.

Whatever life brings, our kids will be a-ok. And, that is a reality.

eta: If they go to one of the colleges or U's that they can attend for free, they also have their education money to start independent life.