Would you let your SON dress up as a princess at Disney?

[cornflake]

If your male child wanted to wear a bikini (or even a girls 1 piece) to the beach...would you be cool with that too?

I think swimsuits on small kids are weird and gendered swimsuits on small kids even weirder. That said, what do i care? Someone in the thread said they don't let their 3-year-old pick out their own regular clothes. That's just... why care? It's a little bit of independence and lets them express themselves. There are ignorant, idiotic, nasty people in the world. I don't cater to them - and even if someone tried to cater to them, it won't work.

A bully is a bully, someone ignorant is someone ignorant, there will always be something to mock someone for - wearing "girly" clothes, wearing glasses, throwing "like a girl", liking art, liking ballet, liking musicals, or, conversely, a girl with short hair, or who likes to fix trucks or etc., etc., etc. There's a slur for all occasions and someone is bound to use it - who lives their lives trying to conform to the strange, stereotype-ridden standards held by ignorant bullies? Really.

 

[bettymae1121]

so what if said three year old wants to wear a swasticka shirt...is that expressing himself as well?

That's comparing apples to oranges. A boy dressing up as a girl hurts no one. A child wearing a swasticka shirt is offensive and hurtful to many. Just as I wouldn't let my child say hurtful things to others, I wouldn't let them wear something hurtful towards others.

Try again.

 

[moburg]

I find it interesting that some of the posters who are so "open minded" and would let their son dress as a princess are suprisingly closed minded and intolerant of any poster that disagrees with their view.

It is amazing how often that is true, and on just about every subject imaginable. The ones claiming to be so open minded and tolerant, are the least open minded and tolerant about those with differing points of view.


Now, as for the current topic, no, I would steer my young son towards a more appropriate costume within the same genre. Prince instead of princess. Same if my young daughter wanted to dress as a prince.

 

[Uncle Remus]

It is amazing how often that is true, and on just about every subject imaginable. The ones claiming to be so open minded and tolerant, are the least open minded and tolerant about those with differing points of view.


Now, as for the current topic, no, I would steer my young son towards a more appropriate costume within the same genre. Prince instead of princess. Same if my young daughter wanted to dress as a prince.

I admire you folks who keep count, I just can't do it!

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

It is amazing how often that is true, and on just about every subject imaginable. The ones claiming to be so open minded and tolerant, are the least open minded and tolerant about those with differing points of view.


Now, as for the current topic, no, I would steer my young son towards a more appropriate costume within the same genre. Prince instead of princess. Same if my young daughter wanted to dress as a prince.

Pretty much the same from my perspective. As a parent I think there are some times where I have to do some guidance. For example, we won't be having ice cream and candy for supper every night this week just because Zip Junior wants to express himself in that way. Same goes for bed times, study habits, etc. As a parent I reserve the right to have a say-so about playgrounds, playmates, and playthings. I believe its part of the job description.

Now having said that, if someone else wanted their 3yo son prancing around dressed up like a princess I really could not care less.

 

[tiff211]

I wouldn't let my son (if I had one) dress up as a princess at that young age. Its my job to say no and protect my kids from the injustice of the world and keep them safe. I can't control the ignorance of other people and keep all the stares and whispers at bay so at times when I can say no to avoid all of it, I will. At a young age it is so much easier to sway them another way. We are too worried about letting our children "express" themselves, that we let it get in the way of parenting. How about this "No, you are not being a Princess, boys cannot be princesses...girls are either born princesses or marry a prince. You are a boy" But then again I don't let my kids be whatever they want to be for halloween anyway. I can't believe people have the expectation that the restaurant should move them or remove someone who is making comments. Its not the restaurants responsibility to curb ignorance.

I lived in Atl from the time my DD5 was 10 months until she was almost 5. We lived in an area that was mostly african american, which we are. When we moved back up North, to an area which is most caucausian it was culture shock. She was fascinated by her blond hair and blue eyes classmates and told me she wanted to be "white" for Halloween. Was not expecting that one! Was I supposed to allow her to "express" herself, buy her a blond wig, blue contacts, light color foundation? I simply talked about all the beautiful women in her life, her sisters, aunts etc. By the end of the talk, she wanted to be a fairy princess. I guess I just see no problem with saying no to my kids when I think its in their best interest.

On the other hand, it would not shock, surprise or concern me if someone else's son was dressed in a princess costume. My girls might ask if he was gay honestly. They are discovering what that means, because my youngest brother is gay and has a partner, and is an active part of our lives. I would explain that wearing a dress doesn't make one gay....AGAIN. lol. We have had the convo a few times before.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Pretty much the same from my perspective. As a parent I think there are some times where I have to do some guidance. For example, we won't be having ice cream and candy for supper every night this week just because Zip Junior wants to express himself in that way. Same goes for bed times, study habits, etc. As a parent I reserve the right to have a say-so about playgrounds, playmates, and playthings. I believe its part of the job description.

Now having said that, if someone else wanted their 3yo son prancing around dressed up like a princess I really could not care less.

Prancing? Who said anything about prancing? I thought this was about the way the child wanted to dress.

 

[Zippa D Doodah]

Prancing? Who said anything about prancing? I thought this was about the way the child wanted to dress.

? Feel free to insert the verb of your choice.

 

[mrsklamc]

I think swimsuits on small kids are weird and gendered swimsuits on small kids even weirder.

What would you suggest they swim in?

 

[mrsklamc]

No interest in entering into this particular debate, but I think some people who have discussed gender identity in children would be very interested in a book we read for human development, As Nature Made Him.

 

[Robinrs]

I lived in Atl from the time my DD5 was 10 months until she was almost 5.

I can't believe that precious little baby you used to have in your signature is 5 years old!! Time flies!

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

Ya know, I'm all about kids learning to live their lives to the fullest. That said, I'm also all about teaching kids how to live their lives to the best. Frankly, though I definately would give it a second look if I KNEW it was a boy in a gown, I really wouldn't care and I'd wish the kid a great time.

BUT, you need to teach your children how to get along a little bit in the world too. I think 3 is a little green to be tossed into that kind of deal. If you are afraid people will be so mean as to diss a poor little 3 year old, then

just. don't. do. it.

I'd be appalled at anyone giving crap to a little kid because of that, but, unfortunately, I don't live at WDW. So odds are I won't be there to fight the good fight and kick some jerk in the teeth.

(yes I know, a little out there, but it burns my cookies for some little kids parents to be "afraid" to let him dress in a dress if he wants, he's THREE for crying out loud.)

 

[bunkkinsmom]

I probably should define "lecture post" and what I mean.

When the post is no longer contains anything about your own personal experience or facts to support a position and is merely a discussion of how other people are posting and how terrible it is-that's a lecture post.

You can lecture me with facts or your personal experience and I'll never take offense or hear it in a Church Lady voice. The whole point of discussing things on the internet is to get those voices of different experience and facts that I may not be privy to-at least it is for me. As I've said before-it may not change my mind-but I would never disrespect that. If I've come off in any post like I don't respect a factual, experiential choice-I didn't mean to. I've only tried to present from my perspective as someone who was a "different" kid how important it was not to have those different choices viewed negatively by my parents who I looked to for the most support.

OK. Personal experience to support a position. I was a different kid too. Very different. My parents completely supported me. My parents were both very different kids whose parents supported them, even though they didn't know the extent of their "Differentness". As I became more independent and even more different than other kids, my mother and I started to not get along. We didn't speak for more than 7 years. Never, even during that 7 year period, did I doubt her love for me. Never did I doubt that she wouldn't go through fire for me, even though I couldn't say the same for my end. Although my mother didn't like me at all, she loved me. I know that I am very very lucky to have the parents that I have. I want my kids to know that I would walk go through fire for them, just like my mom would for me.

IN MY PERSONAL VIEW, guarding my kids from ignorance at the young age of 3 is my way of opening the door for conversation. I have 3 kids, all of whom have been 3 at one point in the last 6 years. Some children mature faster than others emotionally. In my family's case, my girls matured emotionally faster than my boy. MY BOY would not understand why people would look at him funny, it would hurt his feelings. No amount of conversation by me would have changed that. At 3, he did not have the capacity to understand the depth of that conversation. My girls, maybe, at least one of them, but not my son. My fear in this situation would be that he would wonder why I would put him in that situation if I knew people would make fun of him. When I took him to get his Kinder shots, I had to hold him down and comfort him while they did it. He was 4. The look on his face was not one of surprise, or anger towards those giving the shot, but of concern at me. As if to ask why was I letting this happen to him. I will protect him from harm and ridicule with my last breath, while explaining to him the norms, injustices, and social guidelines AS HE IS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THEM. At 4 he didn't get that those shots were for his own good.

IN MY PERSONAL VIEW, FOR THE MOST PART, AND FROM MY EXPERIENCE AS A MOM..... my girls and my boy are vastly different. I believe that men and women are born different from each other. I also believe that men and women can be born differently from the norm. I believe that people shouldn't be picked on or made fun of because of what color they are, where they are from, orientation, religion, and many other things.

I come from a whole string of "different" on both sides. I know that my kids will be individuals with strong self esteem and a knowledge that I have their backs. I personally do not see myself telling my 3 year old son that he cannot wear a princess dress in public as undermining any of that.

I know I didn't change your mind, but I certainly hope that this doesn't sound Church Lady.

 

[Magpie]

How about this "No, you are not being a Princess, boys cannot be princesses...girls are either born princesses or marry a prince. You are a boy"

To be completely fair, you should also be saying, "No, you are not being a kitty cat. Human beings cannot be cats. Kittens are born and grow up to be cats. You are human."

BTW, I did see one very dark brown skinned child in a blonde wig and a pink princess outfit, out for Halloween a few years back. No one said a word to her, or said a single critical word to her (black) parents. I glanced twice, as the colour contrast caught my eye, then shrugged. After all, white girls put on black Halloween wigs all the time.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

To be completely fair, you should also be saying, "No, you are not being a kitty cat. Human beings cannot be cats. Kittens are born and grow up to be cats. You are human."

BTW, I did see one very dark brown skinned child in a blonde wig and a pink princess outfit, out for Halloween a few years back. No one said a word to her, or said a single critical word to her (black) parents. I glanced twice, as the colour contrast caught my eye, then shrugged. After all, white girls put on black Halloween wigs all the time.

What did you SHRUG for when you saw the black girl in a white girl's wig?

 

[Mrs.Toad]

? Feel free to insert the verb of your choice.

How about "having a character meal"? After all, that's what the OP is about.

Frankly, Zippa, I'm surprised that you would choose to ridicule the boy this way, even if on a message board, and not in person. I've had enough discussions with you to expect that our opinions here would differ, but you usually state your position much more respectfully than that.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

If your male child wanted to wear a bikini (or even a girls 1 piece) to the beach...would you be cool with that too?

Probably not, but I wouldn't be cool with my husband wearing a Speedo, either! Girls swimsuits just aren't made to hold in the boy parts. I would have no problem with my son wearing a pair of pink flowered board shorts, but I would draw the line at a skimpy swimsuit. I wouldn't bat an eye if someone else chose to let their son wear one, or tell his parents they were subjecting him to ridicule, because I do have more faith in humanity than to expect anyone else on the beach to be so rude as to comment on it.

so what if said three year old wants to wear a swasticka shirt...is that expressing himself as well?

Huge difference between wearing a symbol that is hurtful to other people and wearing a dress that hurts no one.

 

[Magpie]

What did you SHRUG for when you saw the black girl in a white girl's wig?

Because it was nothing to make any kind of fuss over, any more than a white girl in a black girl's wig.

Why did you capitalize SHRUG? It's a child's costume. How else should I react?

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

Because it was nothing to make any kind of fuss over, any more than a white girl in a black girl's wig.

Why did you capitalize SHRUG? It's a child's costume. How else should I react?

Because I can't imagine any reason to need to shrug when looking at a kid's costume. That seems about the same to me as someone SMH.

 

[bellebud]

On the Moms panel a mom asked this question of the panel...

"Attending a character dinner with our 3 yo son who sometimes likes to be the prince & sometimes the princess- how will staff react to a boy dressed in the more girlie costumes? Will staff help us find a new seat if other guests make rude comments?"

Would you allow your son to dress up as a princess at Disney? Especially KNOWING ppl are probably going to stare or make comments? Or would you go with the flow and let the little guy be a princess and not care what other ppl say and do?

answering exactly as the op states... no, I personally wouldn't allow my 3yo ds to dress as a princess during a character meal.