Would you let your SON dress up as a princess at Disney?

[Zippa D Doodah]

Thanks for startin' it, it's most enlightenin'.

I love discussion boards!!

Now that's one thing you and I have in common.

 

[vakamalua]

One of the problems with our society is its devisive judgmental attitudes. This is what causes people, especially our young people, to feel isolated and 'abnormal' and be victimized by the bullies of the world who feel that they have the right to decide what everyone should think, say, and look like.

Children NEED the right to express themselves and that includes dressing in whatever clothes they prefer. They need to feel proud of themselves simply for BEING themselves. Too many children are forced by society, including their parents, to be little 'macho men'--play football, never cry, keep their hair short, etc. or little 'ladies'--wear pink, don't get dirty, play with Barbies, etc. rather than follow their true instincts and interests.

Societies are made better by confident people who have the courage to disregard the status quo and what is considered 'normal.'

Next time you see someone you don't consider 'normal,' smile and admire that person! It's time to accept that YOU have no right to judge anyone, especially a little boy in a princess dress!

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

EXACTLY. At three, do they really understand the horrors of piracy? Think of the damage it could do to their delicate psyche at that age.



What? The thread's over? But I just got here! I have lots more material! Come baaaaack!

LOL. No it can go on for as long as there are ppl posting to it and it doesn't get lost back in the old posts.

 

[kmedina]

I think it's interesting that many assume that it would be better emotionally for a boy who *wants* to dress in a "girl" costume to be forbidden from doing so in order to avoid the kid being made fun of. I would think the opposite--that there's no way to forbid this sort of thing in a boy who really, really wants to wear the costume without making him feel shamed or bad or weird because he likes "girl" things. And isn't that feeling much worse coming from one's own *parents* than from random strangers at WDW? (Not that I really believe that a 3 year old boy in a princess costume would find much hostility at WDW.)

And while most boys who want to wear a princess costume at age 3 aren't going to be gay/transgender as adults, a few of them are. Is that really the message you want to begin sending to the kid--that you think they should police their behavior/expression/appearance based on other people's narrow view of what a boy or girl should be? (And in my own experience, sometimes when parents say this kind of thing about "protecting" their child in regard to their gender expression or sexuality it's not really about the child at all--it's about the parent's own discomfort or embarrassment. I think it is really, really obvious that that is the case for many on this thread and I feel bad for the gay/trans kids who have to deal with this kind of thing--being called "weird" by their own parents. But that is generally how it is for many trans/gay kids and adults--you can't count on your family any more than the rest of the world to treat you with dignity and respect. I would think at least though that most decent parents might want to ask themselves "what if my kid *is* gay/trans? how will they feel remembering how I called them weird, forbid them from being themselves, etc?"--if you give even two ****s about your kid's emotional wellbeing that is.)

I also think the idea that it's just obvious that pink princess costumes are inherently for girls is . Funny how pink used to obviously be for boys! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pink) Hey, maybe for the little boy in question this isn't about gender at all, but about time period--maybe he's trying to be a boy circa the early 1900s when, so far as I understand, baby and toddler boys also routinely wore dresses!

I only read through the fourth page, but did not feel it necessary to read anymore before commenting when I came across this post. It was so insightful, and sums up how I feel. No one wants their kids lives to be hard. Knowing they may be judged or ridiculed is heart wrenching. For me, I do not want to be the one who breaks either of my sons' spirits. If someone is going to make them feel shameful for going against the societal norm, it will NOT be me.

My older son does at times seem effeminate much to the dismay of my husband. He fought it in the beginning as many macho men would. Finally, he decided to accept him as he is (which happens to be a very sweet and loving kid). I would not want to change him at all. Come what may to his future. We need to teach him to be independent in all things, so I would allow him to make reasonable decisions like what Halloween costume to wear. He picked Buzz Lightyear last year and has already chosen Handy Manny for this year.

If he ever picks a female costume, I would allow it as long as my husband is okay with it too. We both need to agree and will cross that bridge if and when it comes up. Hopefully, no one would pick on him. He will be forewarned that people may have an issue with it, but it is their problem, not his. Anyone who puts much thought or judgement into someone else's costume has bigger problems than my son does.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I had one arguing with me over and over that YES one side had to be right and one side had to be wrong.

No, you didn't. Go back and read the comments in question. You can't possibly misunderstand it again.

 

[kmedina]

For the record: I have somewhat short hair, almost never wear makeup, rarely wear dresses, hate high heels, do not polish my nails often, am not fond of wearing jewerly (other than my wedding ring), and gag from the smell of perfume but am very much a woman. I also prefer the color blue to pink (which makes sense considering what I just learned about the origins). Can we please stop with the sterotypes? If I ever get lucky enough to have a daughter, I will not teach her that she has to do/wear these things to be considered a normal girl.

My sons will be taught to be themselves (whoever they might be). They are told "no" in appropriate situations. The youngest is only 2 mos, so I cannot comment on his behavior. I happen to think my older son is pretty well behaved.

 

[TwistGrl101]

This is the most absurd, ridiculous conversation. I am sitting here SMH wondering why so many parents on these boards are actually PRO-letting your son wear a princess costume in public!!!
Does he wear the high heels too? LOL Why not take him to BBB and get a cute little crown and why not some lipstick while you're at it?

 

[fastergoofy]

This is the most absurd, ridiculous conversation. I am sitting here SMH wondering why so many parents on these boards are actually PRO-letting your son wear a princess costume in public!!!
Does he wear the high heels too? LOL Why not take him to BBB and get a cute little crown and why not some lipstick while you're at it?

I agree! I think it should be extended to all costumes, especially horrible things like pirates! Why not take him to PotC and put a little five o'clock shadow on your child while you're at it? LOL So absurd.

 

[tiff211]

I can't believe that precious little baby you used to have in your signature is 5 years old!! Time flies!

Aww, you remember! She's almost 6!

 

[tiff211]

To be completely fair, you should also be saying, "No, you are not being a kitty cat. Human beings cannot be cats. Kittens are born and grow up to be cats. You are human."

BTW, I did see one very dark brown skinned child in a blonde wig and a pink princess outfit, out for Halloween a few years back. No one said a word to her, or said a single critical word to her (black) parents. I glanced twice, as the colour contrast caught my eye, then shrugged. After all, white girls put on black Halloween wigs all the time.

Oh my girls have done the wigs and such but not to be "white" moreso to be a princess like Cinderella or Sleeping beauty. There is a difference. And if society looked a certain way at kids who dressed like cats, I probably would have that convo with them. Luckily, everyone saw my little one who was dressed as a cat as the most adorable cat ever!

 

[PeterPan09]

Thanks for startin' it, it's most enlightenin'.

I love discussion boards!!

Agreed, it's been enlightening for me too. Honestly, when I first saw the title I thought that it was sort of a silly question. After all we were talking about children dressing up in costume at a character meal-kids playing-what larger meaning could that possibly have? Well, I learned that not only does it have a larger meaning for other people-it does to me as well. Who knew?

I love discussion boards too-like many people, I hang out with folks that more or less share my beliefs and values so discussion boards remind me that there's a larger scope of opinion out there.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

This is the most absurd, ridiculous conversation. I am sitting here SMH wondering why so many parents on these boards are actually PRO-letting your son wear a princess costume in public!!!
Does he wear the high heels too? LOL Why not take him to BBB and get a cute little crown and why not some lipstick while you're at it?

Because most of these parents that are PRO letting their little boys wear dresses have stated they think to NOT let the kid wear a dress you would be stifling the kid's self expression and sending a message that you don't approve of that child or that there is something wrong with them wanting to wear dresses. I'm just paraphrasing from a couple hundred responses. Most of which say YES let your little boy wear a dress. The percentage of ppl who wouldn't are low compared to the ones say they would allow it.

If you get a chance read back through the responses. It got quite interesting.

Caused a couple of spin off threads.

 

[Robinrs]

This is the most absurd, ridiculous conversation. I am sitting here SMH wondering why so many parents on these boards are actually PRO-letting your son wear a princess costume in public!!!
Does he wear the high heels too? LOL Why not take him to BBB and get a cute little crown and why not some lipstick while you're at it?

Yes it is and it's BACK on the front page!!!

 

[Uncle Remus]

I guess I see Disney as a kids' version of Vegas, a place where ya can have lots of fun. Who knew a bunch of parents would object to that?

 

[Anjelica]

Because most of these parents that are PRO letting their little boys wear dresses have stated they think to NOT let the kid wear a dress you would be stifling the kid's self expression and sending a message that you don't approve of that child or that there is something wrong with them wanting to wear dresses. I'm just paraphrasing from a couple hundred responses. Most of which say YES let your little boy wear a dress. The percentage of ppl who wouldn't are low compared to the ones say they would allow it.

If you get a chance read back through the responses. It got quite interesting.

Caused a couple of spin off threads.

I would like to have seen this thread include a poll - I know I have voted in polls before without leaving a comment and I would venture to guess others have as well.

 

[Mickey'sMainMami]

My husband when he was 32 (a year before I met him) dressed as a woman for Halloween. I am talking shaved legs, wig, bra, makeup, the whole shebang. He went out in public, he lived in Philly at the time and walked up and down the streets visiting his friends and family. It was hysterical, cuz he is a handsome man, but the ugliest woman any of them had ever seen. lol.

I say to each his own, if he wants to, let him, if people comment, who cares? People are always going to talk about something, not much you can do about it. I think it would be good preparation for the thick skin we all end up wearing. I mean let's be honest, each and every person in this world has been talked about at one time or another. Some more than others. It doesn't matter if you are gay or not, if you overweight, wear glasses, have freckles, brown hair, are catholic, or tall, someone is always gonna get picked on. It's a way of life unfortunately, I would teach him that young to let it roll right off.

 

[DisneyLoverUSA]

I would like to have seen this thread include a poll - I know I have voted in polls before without leaving a comment and I would venture to guess others have as well.

If I had thought of it or if I knew how to create a poll I probably would have. Probably would have had a lot more poll answers than written responses, you're right.

 

[Robinrs]

My husband when he was 32 (a year before I met him) dressed as a woman for Halloween. I am talking shaved legs, wig, bra, makeup, the whole shebang. He went out in public, he lived in Philly at the time and walked up and down the streets visiting his friends and family. It was hysterical, cuz he is a handsome man, but the ugliest woman any of them had ever seen. lol.

I wonder why the comparison of grown men dressing up as woman is the same as having a boy dress up like a princess???? I've seen several posts like this.

 

[shirleyb]

I wonder why the comparison of grown men dressing up as woman is the same as having a boy dress up like a princess???? I've seen several posts like this.

I've thought the same thing. In the first case, the man is doing it for laughs. The little boy isn't, and that's the difference and the potential for hurt feelings.

 

[luvsJack]

I've thought the same thing. In the first case, the man is doing it for laughs. The little boy isn't, and that's the difference and the potential for hurt feelings.

I totally agree. A child is not going to expect to be laughed at, the man did it to GET laughs.