Would you let your average/above average child repeat Kindergarten?

[donnajon]

My sister held my nephew back a year in K. They told her it was her choice (he has an Oct. birthday). The school said if she held him back, he would be a leader rather than a follower all thru school (as he would be the oldest in K rather than the youngest). Fast forward to high school where hs is doing quite well. He is a football and wrestling star (won the state championship). By holding him back, he has another year's growth on the other teens in his class. That wasn't the intent of holding him back but it was an added bonus. He is very well liked by the student body. His brother, two years older, graduated high school and has no ambition to go to college. He is working but nothing he will ever make a fortune at. He told his mom he wish he had been held back - he thinks it would have helped him mature and make better decisions.

 

[shortbun]

Are your kids already a year older than the other K's? Around here the trend is to late enroll anyway and start with private K then enter public K. We did late enroll but didn't do the two K's. 10 out of 24 in my son's 4th grade room are older. 8 of those kids are in the G&T program; I think they would have been had they enrolled the 1st year they were eligible but not socially ready.
We are also a school of "don't rush children" parents. I'd say moving your children to a school with enriched cirriculum is not a bad idea and since they will be making new friends, no stigma attached for repeating K. Enroll them and think about it over the summer while you do some more discovery about this new school. They can always stay where they are, yes? Good luck, these are the decisions we hate as parents!

eta: I just read the post that they were born in August. I probably would not have sent them to school to begin with, lol! just me, I have this belief about boys born in late summer. Anyway, seems like you are leaning that direction. They will benefit from another year in K, I'm sure.

 

[Pigeon]

Personally, I wouldn't have my kids repeat K. I'd find a different school situation. Both of mine have birthdays near the cut-off, yet they would be bored out of their minds doing K again.

Dh is a public school teacher. If we were in your situation, he would look for a new job in a good suburban district, and we'd move. But a catholic school would totally not be our thing.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think that you're figuring this out nicely. If you want them in this school, repeating is what they should be doing because they will go into school behind.

I have one question. In my 6yo's K class there are some kids who are barely reading the simplest words, others that are reading harder words, and others that are fairly fluent readers. So be big mix of readers. In your son's current class, how do they compare to the other kids as far as their reading ability?

Maybe someone has pointed this out, but keep in mind, that you very well may not live where you currently live forever. You could easily move somewhere with a different cut-off date and your kids would be very young for their grade with their current setup.

OT, but is your DH ready to camp out for the Easter Egg Roll tickets tonight? Hopefully, for his sake, the weather will cooperate. I think it's supposed to rain. Unless I back out I'm planning on going down early in the morning (early being a relative term for me ). If I get tickets fine, if not, oh well. Hopefully my DH will come with me so he can drop me off and go park somewhere while I'm in line.

How was your drive down?

 

[JoyG]

I think that you're figuring this out nicely. If you want them in this school, repeating is what they should be doing because they will go into school behind.

I have one question. In my 6yo's K class there are some kids who are barely reading the simplest words, others that are reading harder words, and others that are fairly fluent readers. So be big mix of readers. In your son's current class, how do they compare to the other kids as far as their reading ability?

Maybe someone has pointed this out, but keep in mind, that you very well may not live where you currently live forever. You could easily move somewhere with a different cut-off date and your kids would be very young for their grade with their current setup.

OT, but is your DH ready to camp out for the Easter Egg Roll tickets tonight? Hopefully, for his sake, the weather will cooperate. I think it's supposed to rain. Unless I back out I'm planning on going down early in the morning (early being a relative term for me ). If I get tickets fine, if not, oh well. Hopefully my DH will come with me so he can drop me off and go park somewhere while I'm in line.

How was your drive down?

Right now, one of my boys is in the top "reading group" in his class. The other one is in the "middle" reading group in his class. Both boys have acheived "benchmark" (which is where they're supposed to be) on the district reading assessments they give in Kindergarten. So in our district, they look like they're doing great. Unfortunately I'm really beginning to see how our district's standards are just not the same as the private school's.

Another poster mentioned I should change jobs and teach in the 'burbs. I'd often thought of that, but I've got 10+ years of seniority in an area where teachers are being laid off all the time. I'm scared to give that up.



OT...We are ready for that Egg Roll!! I got on the website to see the entertainment and I'm excited to see that Buzz Aldrin and Jack Hanna are going to be there! I know they've both written books, I wonder if I bring a copy from Barnes and Noble will they sign it? DH will be there with his lawn chair, sleeping bag, cooler and if it rains, an umbrella! I don't care about him getting wet, I just don't want it to rain Monday!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

How does the pay in the suburbs schools compare to where you teach? Does you DH work in a field that he could get a job in another area with better schools?

My son is reading harder word blends than your son (not bragging ) and he's not in the top grouping. He's high and does go to a different K class for reading group, but there are higher kids in his class and in kindergarten. From what you describe, you boys would be right in the middle in our K group, but they would also be on the young side since our cut-off changed from 12/31 to 10/1 and next year will be 9/1. Sounds like your boys are doing a good job, but you don't want them behind in a new school.

 

[JoyG]

How does the pay in the suburbs schools compare to where you teach? Does you DH work in a field that he could get a job in another area with better schools?

My son is reading harder word blends than your son (not bragging ) and he's not in the top grouping. He's high and does go to a different K class for reading group, but there are higher kids in his class and in kindergarten. From what you describe, you boys would be right in the middle in our K group, but they would also be on the young side since our cut-off changed from 12/31 to 10/1 and next year will be 9/1. Sounds like your boys are doing a good job, but you don't want them behind in a new school.

Over the course of my career (in the long run) the suburbs would pay more. Right now, I would be taking a pay cut if I went there b/c they won't give you credit for all 10+ years of teaching...I might get 5 years credit, but I doubt it would be more than that. But they don't hire as many teachers and when they have to make cuts, it would be last hired first fired.

DH runs his own business which is just now (after 5 years) beginning to make a profit. He is able to take a salary, but after so many lean years, I haven't started trusting it's always going to be there yet.

My brother lives here in Maryland and is always trying to convince us to move. What are the schools like here?

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My brother lives here in Maryland and is always trying to convince us to move. What are the schools like here?

Schools are great in MD, at least in our county and a lot of other counties that I know of. Where does your brother live? Are you with him now?

The cost of living has exploded, however.

 

[golfgal]

Over the course of my career (in the long run) the suburbs would pay more. Right now, I would be taking a pay cut if I went there b/c they won't give you credit for all 10+ years of teaching...I might get 5 years credit, but I doubt it would be more than that. But they don't hire as many teachers and when they have to make cuts, it would be last hired first fired.

DH runs his own business which is just now (after 5 years) beginning to make a profit. He is able to take a salary, but after so many lean years, I haven't started trusting it's always going to be there yet.

My brother lives here in Maryland and is always trying to convince us to move. What are the schools like here?

Don't automatically assume a school won't give you credit for all the years taught, some do, some don't. I know our school district does give full credit because they want to attract experienced teachers to make the schools better. My high school would only hire teachers with a Masters and at least 5 years of experience, but they paid them accordingly too (luckily we lived in a town that had a good tax base and a strong emphasis on education-I know that is unusual).

 

[jrmasm]

I think ticktock made a really good point.

DD had a middle school teacher who did a knowledge bowl type competition in his classes every year.
He always grouped the kids by birthdate. While there was always a bit of fluctuation in groups, he swore that in the 15+ years he had been doing it, the oldest group always finished well (though not always 1st) and never finished last and he never had the youngest group finish 1st.
He said the groups generally placed in a pretty predictable pattern.

This was a group experiment and of course individual kids will be a whole other story and it's not scientific by any means - but I thought it was pretty interesting.

So don't just think kindergarten. Look at the big picture.

I know I'm much more comfortable sending my DD off to college at age 18 than I would have been at age 17. She was a borderline birthday and I kept her home that extra year for selfish reasons - but I'm sure glad I did.

This post has been bothering me. I realize that the teacher is simply sharing his experiences but it seems to be me that his message is clear. Don't bother sending your young kids to school on time because they won't do well. And to the older kids, the only reason you're doing so well is because you're older.

Anyone else have a problem with this teacher's statement? Or is it just me?

 

[Cindyluwho]

This post has been bothering me. I realize that the teacher is simply sharing his experiences but it seems to be me that his message is clear. Don't bother sending your young kids to school on time because they won't do well. And to the older kids, the only reason you're doing so well is because you're older.

Anyone else have a problem with this teacher's statement? Or is it just me?

I didn't take it that way at all. I even reread it a few times just to make sure. I like the experiment, I think it could even help parents make the decision on whether to start their child early. There will always be students who stand out and do better work no matter what their age but realistically there is a pattern for the average kid.

 

[Bbgrizzle]

I teach private Kindergarten and my class is far ahead of where you say your boys are. My top reading group reads at a 2nd or 3rd grade level. My lowest student is reading simple sentences. I understand what the private school is saying: if you put your boys in at this point, they will be way behind the other students. It would be hard on your kids and their self-esteem would suffer. In addition, that would affect the teacher and the rest of the class. In my experience, when kids enter the class and are that far behind the other students, behavior problems tend to arise. I know that it must really suck, cause you want your kids to be in the grade appropriate to their age. But like you said, if they are going to repeat a grade, better that they do it now. Do you think that if you worked really hard with them at home, they could get up to where they need to be?


Also, regarding the discussion about the older kids doing better than the younger kids: For the most part this is true, but it doesn't have to be. Some of the youngest kids in my class are in my top reading group. One girl began kindergarten in my class when she was only 4. She will have to repeat Kindergarten again because she is not old enough to attend 1st grade with her classmates, which is a shame, because she's a great reader. For me the biggest deciding factor in how a child does in school is how often their parents work with them at home. It makes ALL the difference.

 

[jrmasm]

the oldest group always finished well (though not always 1st) and never finished last and he never had the youngest group finish 1st.

I just read it again and those are pretty strong words to use. What decision would you make based on always and never?

 

[stm61]

Your kids have already done a yr of 5K and done well in their classes. If you have them repeat 5K they will be starting with a class that is just beginning, that is teaching what they've already learned. They will be bored and could end up acting up because of it. I don't agree with the "hold them back with late birthdays" trend. Each child works at their own pace. My ds is a late Sept and had absolutely no problems starting at almost 5, cut off of 10/1. My dd's have Jan birthdays and were no where near where their brother was when they started at 5 3/4 yrs old. Plus, I wanted to keep control of ds when he was finishing hs. Here kids can sign themselves out of school, write their own excuses, etc, when they turn 18. He won't be able to because he'll turn 18 after he graduates. My dd's will be able to do as they please for most of their senior yrs.

 

[chris1gill]

This post has been bothering me. I realize that the teacher is simply sharing his experiences but it seems to be me that his message is clear. Don't bother sending your young kids to school on time because they won't do well. And to the older kids, the only reason you're doing so well is because you're older.

Anyone else have a problem with this teacher's statement? Or is it just me?

Well, I think you can make general statements, realizing that all children are different... I had a late September birthday, so technically, I should have been held off for a year... but instead of that happening, I was too smart for my own good & they graduated me a year early So, technically I was two years behind everyone else when I started college... it was an outstanding experience, so I think you just have to realize there are extremes everywhere...

 

[Cindyluwho]

I just read it again and those are pretty strong words to use. What decision would you make based on always and never?

He also stated :
"This was a group experiment and of course individual kids will be a whole other story and it's not scientific by any means - but I thought it was pretty interesting."

He only used the words always and never referring to his groups at his school. I'm assuming he was truthful, and not stretching the truth and that it was his observations of his groups at his school. No more, no less. If that's the way it's "always" worked out in his experience then why is it wrong to state the facts?

 

[disykat]

I have a different take on this than most here. It sounds like the private school only wants "gifted" kids. I wouldn't want my kids at that school - nor does it sound like they would have gotten in. And no, I would not have had my kids repeat K if they were already reading at the level the OP described.

I was taught that kids develop differently and that it is a good teacher's job to deal with those differences. I have little respect for any program that expects kids to come into the classroom with the same abilities.

BTW, my "gifted" child, now in junior high, would have been in the middle K group according to what the OP describes in her son's current classroom. I honestly laugh at the thought that he wouldn't have qualified to get into that school because he lacked advanced reading skills in kindergarten.

My son who is not "gifted" - I can't even imagine him trying to survive in a school like that. I think it would really have done a number on his self esteem. As it stands now, he gets to be middle of the pack, be involved in school leadership, etc. I would not want him someplace where the standards were so high he was seen as "the dumb kid".

If I wasn't happy with the district, I'd be job hunting elsewhere. Surely the difference in pay couldn't possibly be more than what it would cost to do two private school tuitions for the next 13 years.