would you let your 16 year old spend the night at the boy/girl friends house?

[Charade]

(I actually was a sneaky, horny teen at one point, believe it or not)

I could tell that from your photo...

 

[poohandwendy]

I could tell that from your photo...

Hey! Where is the smackin smilie?

 

[Tigger&Belle]

No, it doesn't.

(I actually was a sneaky, horny teen at one point, believe it or not)

But, the question isn't 'will your kids have sex in your home?'. It was 'would you let a 16 yo spend the night at their BF/GFs house?'

If I were the tag fairy you would be tagged with this one...



And Hell No concerning teen girls sleeping over here or my teens sleeping over at their girlfriend's house. My DD is almost 20yo and I do not concern myself with where she sleeps. I've raised her with our values and all I can do at this point is to step back and show me what (if anything ) she's let soak in. Doesn't mean that I'd let her boyfriend sleep over here, but if he had to he'd be in a separate room. And of course he'd stay there all night. Hey, I can hope can't I?

And yes, teens can have sex in a variety of places...been there, done that, not going to make it easy on my teens to engage in risky behavior.

 

[mylilnikita]

Yes, I know what the title says, but my point is they are going to do it where ever even in your home when you aren't there.


All I know is, I practically raised myself and even when my parents were at home, I was honest about what I was doing. If I was drinking or whatever, I would call and say I was spending the night this was starting at 17. My butt was never escorted off a base, I never had to go to someone's house while their parents were out.

And out of the 3 of my friends who snuck off, all 3 got pregnant and I was the one who was honest about what I did and had the only common sense to protect myself.

People are blaming Jaimie Spears Mom for letting the guy live there, here is a hint, it is called sex that gets a girl pregnant and you don't have to live with someone or even spend the whole night at someone's house.

 

[poohandwendy]

If I were the tag fairy you would be tagged with this one...



And Hell No concerning teen girls sleeping over here or my teens sleeping over at their girlfriend's house. My DD is almost 20yo and I do not concern myself with where she sleeps. I've raised her with our values and all I can do at this point is to step back and show me what (if anything ) she's let soak in. Doesn't mean that I'd let her boyfriend sleep over here, but if he had to he'd be in a separate room. And of course he'd stay there all night. Hey, I can hope can't I?

And yes, teens can have sex in a variety of places...been there, done that, not going to make it easy on my teens to engage in risky behavior.

I hope my kids never read here.

ITA with the rest of your post.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I hope my kids never read here.

ITA with the rest of your post.

Two of my kids have DIS accounts, but thankfully don't read here now. I almost used different phrasing for that last part and given the nature of this thread I thought better of it.

 

[Acklander]

When DS was in high school there were a couple of times that, after a late night movie fest or something, everyone would just crash on the living room floor, as long as everyone had called their parents and let them know where they were, I was fine with it; but usually it was a group thing. Sometimes it was the other way around where a group was over at a different friends house (sometimes male, sometimes female) and they were crashing there for the night.
Around age 16 usually he'd bring his girlfriend on vacation with us or go on vacation with them.

 

[NMAmy]

For those who say no do you believe if you are very vigilant you can prevent your kids from having sex? Not that I bbelieve you should allow your kids to spend the night. This is a very personal choice as are most parenting decisions. I"m sure there are some things I've been strict about that others think is crazy.

No, I'm not naive enough to believe that I could stop my teen from having sex if she wanted to. However, I'm not sponsoring sleepovers to encourage her to have sex. I'm sure she's tried alcohol and drugs, too, but I'm not providing it for her or making it easy for her to indulge.

When she is out of high school and in a committed relationship, then fine. I wouldn't have a problem then with her having her BF stay at our house with her--even in the same room if they wanted to. But while she's still in high school, no.

 

[Launchpad11B]

You can't control your kids forever.......but I can sure control my DD right now!! He#* no.

 

[fltwinmom]

No way, and I wish that Britney Spears' mom would have read this thread....o... say 3 months ago?


The ONLY time I was EVER allowed to spend the night at a boys house was the night after my prom. AND we went to a school sponsored after prom party until 6 am, AND we were only allowed to sleep in the living room on the floor. We lived in a very rural place and my house was 16 miles away from the school. So, basically, we were sleeping during the day for a couple of hours before he drove me home.

 

[Allison]

NO WAY

Let me say it again for emphasis

NO WAY

 

[Mouse House Mama]

For those who say no do you believe if you are very vigilant you can prevent your kids from having sex? Not that I bbelieve you should allow your kids to spend the night. This is a very personal choice as are most parenting decisions. I"m sure there are some things I've been strict about that others think is crazy.

No, I think they will do what they want but I am not going to set the scene for them and make it easy for them. JMHO.

 

[ducklite]

I wouldn't have allowed it. I'm not ignorant enough to think that my son would save himself for marriage, but IMHO allowing sleepovers just encourages teens to become sexually active, something they might wait a little longer for if it wasn't as easy to have a time and place, or to have parents in effect condoning it.

 

[::Snow_White::]

No. No. No. No.
Heck. No.

 

[DramaQueen]

Perspective from an 18yo in a commited relationship:

I've been with my boyfriend for quite a long time, and my mom has come to trust both of us, but never to the extent of sleepovers. UNTIL, he went away for university and I barely get to see him. So if I get a weekend off work, she'll let me go up and stay with him for the weekend (GASP! I know)
And she's let him sleepover here a couple times when he comes down to visit (not in the same bed mind you)

She never lets us have sleepovers when he's actually at home though

Anyways, he and I sleep together ALL THE TIME.
(AAAAHHH! BY "sleep together" i mean literally take naps together--because THAT'S how fun we are!)
We fall asleep all over the place in the day, so I guess my mom figures it's no different at night (and she is correct)

But I DO see why people wouldn't want to let their teens sleep @ their bf/gf's house. And at 16 my mom would never have let me I'm sure!




Just out of curiousity, what would you guys do in my mom's situation (with my boyfriend far far away @ university) would you let your teen go visit for the weekend?

 

[Passions71203]

No Way

 

[Green Tea]

Never going to happen here! Once they are in college I won't know what happens. But hs-NO WAY!

 

[Stacerita]

No way.

 

[catbertdave99]

No. I have a 16yo, and No.

 

[luvdzny]

Well, I now have my heavy duty flame suit on so here goes....I have done it in the past, DD and her BF have slept overnight here and at his parent's house. She is 18 now, but she was 16 or 17 the first time we allowed it. He slept on the floor in her room with the door open. I raised her to know right from wrong but I also know that if it is going to happen, the last place it would happen is in the room down the hall from her parents. Right now her friends are always kidding her because she is the ONLY one that has not had sex. She has also slept over night in her boyfriend's dorm room. She is adamant that she will not have sex until she is married and I believe her. She knows we trust her and she has not let us down.

If kids are going to have sex, it is going to happen even if you think that you know where they are at all times. A co-worker would not allow her daughter to date at all, even to go places with groups of guys & girls. At 17 she ended up pregnant even though her mom thought she did not have a boyfriend. She would go to religious education classes on Sunday nights, sometimes her mom even dropped her off, but she never actually went into church. She would meet up with her boyfriend. That is how she ended up pregnant.

I think people have a right to raise their kids however they want to, but don't just assume that because someone allows their kids to have co-ed sleepovers that the parents don't care and all the kids are having sex.