would you let your 16 year old spend the night at the boy/girl friends house?

[Tiggeroo]

If you have teens you should know that if your child is going to have sex when they are at your house when you are there is probably the last place you need to be super concerned.
I have allowed this at my house and probably two times at a bf's house of dd who I knew parents very well. The teens don't sleep in the same room and the parents who were responsible slept very little that night. The lack of sleep is the main reason for parents to forbid it. If you live in a rural area and the teens are going to an event that runs very late, sometimes this is the practical thing. Remember, there are many ways for your kids to do the wrong thing so you need to talk and talk and not allow things in your home in front of you that you aren't ok with.

 

[jenrose66]

I absolutely have a problem with this. Co ed sleepovers are wrong. Look at the state of the world today, kids should be taught modesty, not be allowed to play house with the opposite sex.

 

[bluerendezvous]

No son of mine will spend the night at a girl's house!!!

There are no questions about this issue in our house. There shouldn't be any questions in others' houses either!

 

[KariC]

No son of mine will spend the night at a girl's house!!!

There are no questions about this issue in our house. There shouldn't be any questions in others' houses either!

how do you really feel about it?

Nope don't see a need for that. But, it will be tough with boy/girl twins with sleepovers in the teen years (with their friends).

 

[Doe]

If a couple of teenagers want to have sex, they're going to find a way and a place to do it. Still, I will never allow my kids boyfriends/girlfriend spend the night nor let them spend the night at the others house.

Now, when I was a senior I had a boyfriend and I spent the night at his house a few times because of bad weather. And we NEVER had sex! I slept in the guest room all by myself.

 

[nataliela]

Wow.....before I got on the computer I was thinking how my parents would let me sleep at my now husbands house while I was in high school!

I slept over there about once a month during my senior year.

I don't think I would let my kids do it though!

 

[debbiedoo]

Hell NO!!

 

[Planogirl]

I always say never say never but only in special cases and only because I have no trouble staying awake all night if I need to. And I would!

 

[Tiggeroo]

For those who say no do you believe if you are very vigilant you can prevent your kids from having sex? Not that I bbelieve you should allow your kids to spend the night. This is a very personal choice as are most parenting decisions. I"m sure there are some things I've been strict about that others think is crazy.

 

[Liberty Belle]

They belong to the same church youth group, so if it were a youth group sleepover with plenty of supervision, yes, otherwise, no.

 

[Liberty Belle]

For those who say no do you believe if you are very vigilant you can prevent your kids from having sex? Not that I bbelieve you should allow your kids to spend the night. This is a very personal choice as are most parenting decisions. I"m sure there are some things I've been strict about that others think is crazy.

No, I don't think I can prevent my son from having sex. I'm not going to make it easy for him, though. He's 14 right now.

 

[Tiggeroo]

Today I was watching one of those ridiculous judge shows on tv, Judge Judy. They had two teens to decide paternity. They had had sex on a youth group field trip and another time right in the church building.

 

[poohandwendy]

For those who say no do you believe if you are very vigilant you can prevent your kids from having sex?

No. I also think it's possible they will try cigarettes, alcohol and maybe even drugs...but I certainly wouldn't be giving them the opportunity to do it on my watch.

They can certainly get in enough trouble on their own, they don't need me giving them the rope to hang themselves.

Not to mention the fact that my DH would be vehemently against it and he has say as well.

 

[poohandwendy]

Today I was watching one of those ridiculous judge shows on tv, Judge Judy. They had two teens to decide paternity. They had had sex on a youth group field trip and another time right in the church building.

Sure, it can and does happen anywhere and any time.

For me, this is a part of parenting that is about setting standards of what is an isn't acceptable. Just as a broad example, I know my kids swear around their friends, that is a given. I am not going to stop that. But, it's not acceptable for them to swear in any situation just because they like to swear. They know it is not acceptable to swear in my home, I have set the standard that it is unacceptable.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I think there are rare situations when allowing a bf/gf to spend the night is the right thing. In seperate rooms under a parents watchful eye. But this was a decision we made after alot of thought and every time the kids were over 17yo. I don't know if it was the right or wrong decision but my dd is 23 and my boys are 20 and no kids, one a college grad, one a student and both boys have their own business.
I don't think this is being permissive. It's not the same thing as turning your back while your young kids have sex.

 

[poohandwendy]

I think there are rare situations when allowing a bf/gf to spend the night is the right thing. In seperate rooms under a parents watchful eye. But this was a decision we made after alot of thought and every time the kids were over 17yo. I don't know if it was the right or wrong decision but my dd is 23 and my boys are 20 and no kids, one a college grad, one a student and both boys have their own business.
I don't think this is being permissive. It's not the same thing as turning your back while your young kids have sex.

I really wasn't talking about rare situations. (although others may be)

I have a 21 yo daughter, 18 yo son (senior in HS) and 14 yo daughter. If a situation arose where it was necessary, for some reason, I wouldn't have an issue with it (like an emergency or snow storm or family problem). And yes, there would be separate rooms. I wouldn't even keep a close eye, I would expect respect in our home and hell would be to pay if our rules were disrespected. (especially from my DH) Our kids pretty much know what is expected, so it's never been a problem. There actually was a time, last year, where my DDs BF had car problems and it looked like he may need to stay because he lived two hours away and he may not be able to get back to school. Ended up that he got a ride from a friend (he really needed to get back to school). I would not have had a problem with him staying if he didn't have a ride back.

As far as my eldest DD, I don't decide whether or not she sleeps at a BFs house. That is up to her, she is an adult. She is not welcome to invite a boyfriend to sleep here though. With my son, he isn't seeing anyone at the moment, but the same rules would apply, but he would not be allowed to sleep over a girls house unless he absolutely COULD NOT get home because it was too dangerous (snow/ice). As far as the 14 yo...she isn't allowed to date yet, so it's not an issue.

I thought we were talking about a sleepover and teens, where it was decided ahead of time that the GF/BF would spend the night together.

 

[mylilnikita]

My friends in high school would do it in the school parking lot, or leave for lunch and go to the parents house who was at work at the time. my one friend, went onto a military installation with a pass trying to be with a guy and ended up getting caught and escorted off by mps when her mom ( who told her daughters to call her various boyfriends their uncles) realized where she was.

So just because you won't let them stay at your house doesn't mean they havent been in your house.

 

[Charade]

I just looked in the mirror and it doesn't say STUPID on my forehead... no way would that be happening...

 

[winkers]

Not only NO, but Heck No!!!!!!

 

[poohandwendy]

So just because you won't let them stay at your house doesn't mean they havent been in your house.

No, it doesn't.

(I actually was a sneaky, horny teen at one point, believe it or not)

But, the question isn't 'will your kids have sex in your home?'. It was 'would you let a 16 yo spend the night at their BF/GFs house?'