Would You Ground Your Daughter.....

[shortbun]

I'm suprisingly conservative about this issue. I think "Hickeys"
are gross and an indication of low class, especially the ones
done to show on purpose. I know, it's small minded of me but...
to let someone mark your body is - to me- a sign of low self esteem, lack of self respect and creepy. When I was dating,
anyone even trying that little trick saw themselves booted out
the door and never had the pleasure of my company again.
It's been a long time but today, with young people supposedly
having more confidence, I can't imagine it. As I type, I keep thinking "boy, are you rigid about this!" but it's just how I feel.
Thanks for adding another issue to the list I need to discuss with
my DS some day-never disrespect another person's body in this
way. I wouldn't ground my DD but I'd have a talk with both kids
involved and make it clear that THIS was never to happen again.
Bodys are not for marking in that way; it's base and clearly an
immature act. Gawd, permissive me is on a rampage!

 

[4nana]

Shortbun ~

Ditto!

~ Sandie

 

[disneygals]

So many good points here! And Serena, I know it's not nice to laugh at other's misfortunes, but you have me

For what's worth, I wouldn't ground either, but I remember in my day, (the 70's), we thought hickeys were tacky! And I already have to talk down my dh on much simpler issues with my dd 11.

I wish you people with teens could make a list of things for us with pre-teens, so we can prepare ourselves!


Vivienne

edited for typos

 

[cruisnfamily]

Originally posted by disneygals
I wish you people with teens could make a list of things for us with pre-teens, so we can prepare ourselves!

Please!

 

[Nancy]

I'm another one that thinks hickey's are very tacky. My oldest is almost 16, she is not allowed on a date by herself yet..too many hormones running around with both girls and boys at this age.

I NEVER would let anyone give me one of those when I was younger. I know some girls thought that it was a sign of how much the boy liked you...but even now when I see the girls and guys I work with have hickeys on their necks I can't help but wonder what they are thinking. (or should I say were thinking)

 

[danacara]

Not a big deal. I love the comment earlier in this thread about birthing babies, as an extension of a hickey. As an analogy, I ate an apple this morning. I am going to get hideously fat.

 

[Lewski709]

No. I don't like them, but when I was 15 I did.

 

[momof3disneyholics]

My husband and I have discussed this many times and we are not going to have this problem. We are going to lock our daughter in a closet until she is 30.

 

[WilmaBud]

I think hickeys are cheesy and gross, too. I've never had one in my life. I would never have let a boy give me one. I don't get the appeal of them.

That being said, I wouldn't ground my daughter for having one, but I'd sure have a serious talk with her. And while hickies don't necessarily lead to sex, they don't happen unless things are pretty hot and heavy. So to characterize them as innocent, harmless fun is naive, IMHO.

 

[Tea Please]

I certainly would not ground my daughter, but would have a little chat with her. Afterall it wan't that loooong ago that I was 15

But how about this to those that would ground your daughter, would you also ground your son? A little food for thought.

 

[Blondie]

to let someone mark your body is - to me- a sign of low self esteem,

Where I came from, a hickey meant that you were "taken" as in you had a boyfriend, and vice versa. Ofcourse I made sure mine were well hidden, and with very long hair, it was possible. But I made sure all of my close friends knew it was there!

 

[Lewski709]

Having a hickey wasn't a sign of being taken to us nor was it any indication of low class. It was just kissing that led to the neck area, which is a sensitive area and pleasurable.

I think "Hickeys" are gross and an indication of low class, especially the ones done to show on purpose.

All I can say is the hickey is on the neck, right? That's a good sign. It could be someplace else and you would NEVER know.

 

[Melora]

I totally agree that I think hickies are tacky and gross... I know some kids give them and like to get them because they think its a "badge of love" sort of thing.

We went thorugh this with our 16 year old.

About a year ago Sarah came home after a date with her new boyfriend and had a hickey. My husband really got mad! We had a discussion with her and thought everything was fine. Then about 2 weeks later she came home with another one, though she kept saying that it wasn't. (I wasn't born yesterday kid, I KNOW what a hickie looks like!)

It started a long period where my husband HATED her boyfriend. Hes not a bad boy, I think he was just a bit overly enthusiastic about his new girlfriend. They have been together for over a year now and I have finally talked my husband into realizing that he is not a bad kid and after those first couple of instances, it didn't happen anymore. (ACK..or else its where I can't see them... NO NO NO ) I think her boyfriend got the message that if he wanted anything at all to do with Sarah, he better cut that out.

I think my husband also felt like he didn't want Sarah being with a boy who could not "control" himself.

 

[Blondie]

Sucking on someone's neck should be the least of anyone's problems, at least that's what Oprah is telling us!

 

[caitycaity]

nope, i wouldn't ground her. i don't understand how hickeys are a sign of disrespect.

also, sometimes you can get them without much suck action.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Nope, I wouldn't ground him. He would pray to get off that easily. But I would call every friend and family member that we know and cheerfully and loudly proclaim in Pete's presence, "hey guess what? Pete got his first hickey!" Probably put a big announcement sign in the yard too! Pictures for his scrapbook would be a must. I can hear him groaning with embarrassment now. As for the girl who gave it to him, let's just say she and I would sit down and have a very friendly and upbeat discussion about it with me asking very specific, point blank, indepth questions about what they were doing, how to give one, etc. I can guarantee that by the time we got through, she would be thoroughly mortified.

 

[Pete's Mom]

at what age are hickeys acceptable and would you walk around with one now?

 

[LvsTnk]

Interesting replies. Talked to DF this morning, things have calmed down a bit but her DH is still angry.

As for me...I always thought they were kinda tacky... But have to agree as long as no one could see it I kind felt like hey look he loves me to my girlfriends.....Just being honest

**I did date the same guy all through HS and married him

 

[Serena]

Now? No, but I never liked being branded and that's what it seemed to me. He never seemed to give me any until we were going out among other men.
And with my skin it was very easily done and would stay forever.

 

[ckmommy]

Pete's Mom! You are too funny! I have to agree with your logic though! I am going to have to remember to do that!!!!