Would it bother you?

[Katy Belle]

I will have DH call and tell them tonight. They left a message this morning that there would be four of them coming. It was going to be just MIL and FIL. It's really the extra two that tipped the scale for me!

 

[HannaBelle]

Have you considered making (and paying for) your own hotel reservations and going for a visit for a night or two?

We nearly always make our own hotel reservations when we visit. It works out fine for us.

Yes and we have done so, but it still feels weird. They make a big deal about us insisting to pay for our own room and my BIL is insulted when we won't allow him to pay. We aren't invited for breakfast, we arrange times to meet for activities and meals. Still feels very awkward and we do not like it.

It is not the same as inviting your family to visit you, allowing them to stay in your home, and spending time with them.

Editing to add that my SIL's family lives 6 hours away. We grew up together, have know each other for over 30 years, were college roommates and we vacation together often. (We all have our own rooms for vacation. That is TOO much togetherness.)

Obviously this is my opinion, but the OP did ask for our opinions.

 

[Katy Belle]

Yes and we have done so, but it still feels weird. They make a big deal about us insisting to pay for our own room and my BIL is insulted when we won't allow him to pay. We aren't invited for breakfast, we arrange times to meet for activities and meals. Still feels very awkward and we do not like it.

It is not the same as inviting your family to visit you, allowing them to stay in your home, and spending time with them.

Obviously this is my opinion, but the OP did ask for our opinions.

I do think this might be how SIL feels. She's said several times that she wants us to come stay with them. I think she's really a 'more the merrier' person. We should have a boy or two leave the nest in a year or two, so hopefully they will come back and stay here. I really didn't think it would bother her, because I would love it. But, in hindsight, I can see it. And I did tell them at the very beginning of the planning.

 

[Claire&TheBoys]

We've done it both ways. When we were young and newly married, we stayed with my husband's brother and his family a few times. On their sofa bed, so right out in the middle of the living room. And my husband and his brother would want to stay up late talking and watching movies until wee hours of the morning and I'd be snoozing in the corner of the couch. Then we'd finally unfold the bed to go to sleep and their kids would get up at 6:00 AM and want to watch TV. After a time or two, we started staying in a hotel. We did stay with my husband's other brother when he was newly married and had a small 2-bedroom house (same city as the other brother). We felt pretty welcome there. Once we had kids, we stayed in hotels. Like a PP said, it is hard to feel like you're actually VISITING family, though. My in-laws don't really like us to come to their house (borderline hoarders), so when we visit, we mainly see them lunch and dinner, and they might visit us at our hotel for a little while. Hardly makes it feel like an actual visit, though.

When family comes to visit us, we put them up at our house. Just once when my husband was home on leave from Iraq and his parents came to visit, did we put them up in a hotel at our expense because, well, he was home for 2 weeks on a year's deployment, and we didn't particularly want houseguests.

 

[bigbabyblues]

It wouldn't bother me at all, although I would prefer to pay for my own hotel. I don't like staying with other people.

 

[STLDisney_Freak]

I hate staying with relatives. I would prefer a hotel, but that is just me.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would prefer that you told me beforehand. It is off putting to tell someone on the day of their arrival. I would have packed/planned differently knowing that information.

As far as staying at a hotel or staying with a relative, don't care either way.

 

[mnrose]

I'd have no issue with it, if you are paying for the room! Heck, I probably wouldn't have an issue with it even if you weren't. I don't expect people to put me up. I say "I'm coming to visit on xyz date" If they OFFER to let me stay, great, but I don't ask, and I don't expect.

 

[Chocolate Cake]

Yes and we have done so, but it still feels weird. They make a big deal about us insisting to pay for our own room and my BIL is insulted when we won't allow him to pay. We aren't invited for breakfast, we arrange times to meet for activities and meals. Still feels very awkward and we do not like it.

It is not the same as inviting your family to visit you, allowing them to stay in your home, and spending time with them.

I love when people come to town, but I REALLY don't enjoy them sleeping at my home.

I like to wake up, have my coffee and have my quiet time before spending all day (lunch/dinner/evening activities) with them.

They are at my house from mid morning (after breakfast) until late night. We do all of our touring and running around and grab lunch. We always cook a huge dinner for whoever is visiting. Then they retire back to local hotel. Wake up and do it all over again.

Out-of-towners staying at my house and spending 24/7 with them is awkward to me. Everybody needs their space.

Goes to show how we are all different

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

Unless there's a guest room with an extra bathroom for me, I would prefer to stay in a hotel, I don't want to put anyone out of their bed, and I sure don't want to sleep in the middle of the living room on a sofa bed!

When people come here, they're welcome to stay at my house (we've got said guest room and bathroom) or in a hotel if that's where they would be more comfortable. I wouldn't be offended either way.

 

[kirstenb1]

I can't even tell you how thrilled I'd be!! I'm not a morning person, and would prefer to exercise/shower/get dressed/makeup offsite. We love having family stay with us, but would not be offended if they chose a hotel. Plenty of time all day to visit and enjoy each others company.

 

[Poohforyou]

I personally hate staying in someone else's house so a hotel would be most welcome.

 

[Bluestars]

It wouldn't bother me at all. I would be pleasantly surprised if one of my relatives paid for my hotel room when I visited. We prefer to stay at hotels when we visit family members. I can understand how someone might be upset if they arrived and were told they had to stay at a hotel and they had the extra expense. But paying for someone's hotel room seems like a win-win to me.

 

[ols386]

I'd prefer staying in a hotel rather than someone's home. I just like my privacy and space.

 

[dollarmite]

I would prefer that you told me beforehand. It is off putting to tell someone on the day of their arrival. I would have packed/planned differently knowing that information.

As far as staying at a hotel or staying with a relative, don't care either way.

Yes, this, particularly for the part I bolded.

 

[mummabear]

for me it would depend on who we are visiting, how long for and how often we see them.
We visit Canada (my home) every 2 years and stay with family, we don't do this to be cheap. We pay for all their meals, entrances to the stuff we do, give them a gift we stay with them because we want to spend time with them.
I have 3 young kids, it is nice to get visit time after the kids are in bed and we can have a drink, chat and play cards, I would really miss that time by staying in a hotel.

 

[bethbuchall]

I would prefer to be in a hotel (except at my parent's house), but I'd feel strange about someone else paying for it unless I really couldn't afford it. I have stayed at my brother's house in the past, but now if I go, I book a room. I know that they would welcome me into their home, but I also think that it's easier on them that we stay in a hotel.

 

[HarleenQ]

I love when people come to town, but I REALLY don't enjoy them sleeping at my home.

I like to wake up, have my coffee and have my quiet time before spending all day (lunch/dinner/evening activities) with them.

They are at my house from mid morning (after breakfast) until late night. We do all of our touring and running around and grab lunch. We always cook a huge dinner for whoever is visiting. Then they retire back to local hotel. Wake up and do it all over again.

Out-of-towners staying at my house and spending 24/7 with them is awkward to me. Everybody needs their space.

Goes to show how we are all different

Completely this ^^^

I just can't entertain someone 24/7 - I feel like I can't be myself in my own home with people staying there and I just don't like it.

 

[wvjules]

Every year for Mother's Day weekend my mom and grandmother come for th weekend. My aunt and cousin also used to come. I can't imagine inviting them for the weekend and telling them that they are staying In a hotel. Heck, we even live in a two bedroom apartment now and will find a place for everyone to sleep. My sister, her DBF and their 2 girls came to visit last summer and we made it work.

When I go home for a visit We either stay with my parents or my grandmothers house. I would be taken aback at being told that I'm not welcome and need to stay in a hotel.

Different strokes....

 

[RedAngie]

It bothers me when people insist I stay at their house, Thank you, but no, I'd rather pay for a hotel myself.