Work Moan

[Boo Boo Too]

Hi every one - this is the first chance i have had to get on the computer today! thanks so much for the kind words, I only work three days a week now anyway so today was my day off, and I am not back in until Monday.

I was thinking about going to the CAB about this as I don't really know what else to do, I know that our HR department wouldn't take it seriously as to be honest they are useless with anything beyond taking holiday bookings. I honestly don't think that I will get anywhere with having a talk with any line manager either. And the new Department Manager is going to be based in Manchester so I probably won't get to see him that much anyway. I would have introduced myself yesterday but was so incensed by the whole episode that I couldn't think straight.

Also at the moment I think I am incapable of having a constructive conversation with anyone as when I get angry I end up emotional (hormones) whereas usually I would turn into the hard faced cow and get on with it (since becoming a mommy I find that hard!) and not worry what they think.

I do have a couple of friends in the whole office who are very supportive but unfortunatley my best friend at work is off sick at the moment so I spent 20 minutes on the phone to her in the underground carpark yesterday!

Wils - I am a buyer for a large construction company - whos motto laughably is "to be the employer of first choice" - if you know the Richo arena they built that, and I am based their two days out of three - (another decision that I wasn't asked about whether I was ok with)

I shall let you all know how I get on on Monday, thanks again!

Gems

Your HR department is definitely a good place to try first (there must be a Personnel Manager with, pressumably, Personnel qualifications) - they have a legal responsibility to you. BUT going to the CAB will help you to see exactly where you stand (might be worth taking along a copy of your employment contract, but there are laws which protect all employees and, in particular, pregnant employees...).

You could even pop along to the CAB today (not sure if they are open on Saturdays...). So then you can go in fully prepared on Monday to tackle the situation. My advice is to sort things out as soon as possible - it is really not healthy for you to be so unhappy.

The CAB will be able to give you advice (on how best to do this), but you are STILL going to need to tackle this at work. You need to try to pull yourself together to deal with whoever in a calm and composed manner (easier said than done, I know ) and maybe take your best work friend in with you for support (if she is willing - I know I would be - just to sit in on your meetings and be there for moral support...).

Tackling things is the only way to sort things out. More often than not the anticipation of doing these things is a LOT worse than actually doing them. Once you have tackled it, you will probably feel a lot more relieved AND you will be on the way to a resolution.

Am so sorry that you are having troubles - wish that I was in a position to do something.

Keep positive and let us know what happens.

Boo

 

[Queenie]

I fully agree to go to the CAB, I had a problem with the benefits agency a few years ago (they were refusing to pay out benefits I was entitled to.) The CAB helped us go through all the legal mumbo jumbo about entitlement, gave us copies of documents with relevant paragraphs highlighted and helped us build a case to take to a hearing which proved us right and meant I got over 6 months benefit back dated. They were absolutely wonderful.

I am so sorry this is happening to you, I don't know what some employers are thinking! MY OH is a manager in the NHS and he would never dream of treating a preganant employee in such a way, he's just had two come to him in the last week in fact. He says if any more get pregnant soon, in 9 months time he won't have a team to manage there's so many going on maternity leave!

 

[arieljasmine]

So sorry to hear about your problems, Gems, I truly hope you are able to get some advice from the CAB and sort this out. This behaviour is just disgusting. I felt bullied at work in my previous job and used to come home every night in tears, nothing is worth that.

ArielJasmine

 

[Lisash]

That's rotten Gems. Keep your chin up we are always here for you

 

[AlanUK]

I would just like to echo what other people have said about going to see the CAB for advice.

Also I would suggest that you look into your companies disciplinary and grevience policies along with their anti-bullying policy. It's also important that you log any complaint with your HR dept, in line with the procedure set out in the grevience policy and that it is noted in their records, it doesn't matter how useless they are you still need to do it.

All employees have rights to be treated with dignity and respect in the workplace and to be given the support by their employer. Being treated unfairly because you are pregnant is illegal.

You need to make sure that you follow all your employers policies if you plan to complain about your treatment so that should your situation not improve and end in a court case you will not weaken it due to a technicality. Of course if your employer does not adhere to it's own published policy and the necessary legal requirements they will be at risk of losing by default.

Should you decide to leave due to the situation then you are still able to bring a case against your employer even though you are no longer in their service.

I suspect the CAB will fill you in on all of this if/when you go and see them.

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through all of this, it's the last thing you should have to deal with at the moment.

 

[T16GEM]

Thanks guys, I am going to log onto our servers remotely tonight and get the policies that you have suggested. Then I will be able to sort everything out before Monday.

Our office secretary text me today to see if I was ok. So I guess one person does care after all!

Thanks to Jo, for the phone number I will deffo be giving you a ring next week.

Thank you again for all of the advice, I don't know what I would do if it hadn't been for all of your kind words of encouragement.

 

[UKDEB]

I was bullied at work many years ago - by just one person - but, like most bullies she had a posse of pathetic creatures who clung to her. Luckily, I had many, many good friends and I wasn't her only victim, but it was still harrowing. I often went home in tears and I still have nightmares about her now (invariaby I'm scratching her eyes out! ). I endured this for around 8 years and still work for the same Company, 26 years later.

Looking back now, I can see that she was threatened by me and the others she bullied. We were all successful people who went on to far bigger things than she could have aspired to (whereas her hangers-on were all ineffective under-achievers). I don't quite understand how I let her get away with it, but, bizarrely my daughter is now going through a similar scenario with the same employer and I don't know how to advise her. Knowing one's legal rights doesn't help one iota. The Company is a huge international with all the right policies in place, but it's the individuals at the bottom of the hierarchy who have the power to make your life hell. Like you, my daughter is being victimised by people not talking to her. Luckily she works out of several offices and it is only at one she is having trouble. She is hugely popular at all the others (back to my theory about insecure people feeling threatened by those superior to themselves - she is out-performing all her peers). It makes me furious that people can build empires for themselves at the expense of others. Eventually and inevitably, they fall, but that doesn't help you now. Hang in there - in a few months you'll have a beatiful new baby and, when you least expect it, things will change for the better.

 

[florida sun]

Hope things improve for you Gems

 

[T16GEM]

Debbie - Hugs to your daughter, it's just the most horrible feeling when people wont talk to you. I hope she gets it sorted out soon, at lease she can work from another office to avoid the bullies.

 

[ely3857]

Gemma, this is horrible to have to deal with, most of us seem to have had it at some point.

The best advice is written above, CAB and your own HR department. Also when you do log your problem with HR I would mention your manager telling people you were pregnant despite your request to keep this information confidential. Any personal discussion between the two of you should have been kept as such.



Jodie