Why do so many return home after moving away?

[PollyannaMom]

I agree with @NHdisneylover that people trade in one set of problems for another and find out that the first set wasn't really so bad.

I also think we don't make "friends of convenience" as easily as we used to. There was a time when people hung out with their neighbors and got close quickly, but with all the electronic connection we have now, people stay emotionally dependent on far-away friends and family, and actually end up more homesick in the long run.

 

[ronandannette]

For many, home is where the is.

Yes, and I started building community in my new home the minute I got here almost 30 years ago! I was raised on a farm in a remote, northern community and all I ever wanted as long as I can remember was to make it to the city. I moved 500 miles away when I was 19 and never, ever once considered going back to stay. Interestingly, my siblings did the same but both of them actually did "go home" upon their retirements and now live (and will probably die) in our old hometown. Me? Can't see it happening, especially since our DMom and other close family members have all passed on now.

 

[Jennasis]

It's pretty simple. Sometimes things don't work out in the new place.

Sometimes the grass LOOKS greener on the other side of the fence....but it isn't. Or maybe they moved and discover they miss family or friends or familiarity. Maybe a death or divorce or change of life situation necessitates moving back to be with family.

We moved from Long Island to NC back in 2003 and have never looked back. Today we got a "winter storm"...5" of snow which will cripple the state for days, even though the snow will be melted and gone without a trace by Tuesday. In NY, 5" of snow wouldn't have caused any notice, and the snow would be there until April. No thanks. I have had to get used to dismal food choices...no good pizza or bagels or chinese food, nothing to do without a considerable drive, and cities that turn into ghost towns after 5pm or on weekend etc etc. However I wouldn't move back to that expensive, traffic-filled, rat-race headache on Long Island for all the tea in China.

 

[tasha99]

But for those who say "family and friends" are the reason, why leave them to begin with if it's too hard to be away from them?

Life changes. I moved back Oregon from Alaska after my step dad died. My mom has passed too, now, but I can see I'd just be back in a few years to be closer to any future grandkids anyway. I'm willing to move and travel more than most, but it's hard to leave family. (I discovered contract work--very short time commitments. Living in Delaware and NYC area now, but still have my home in Oregon.)

 

[diznygirl]

I left cold and family for warmer weather. I will never be back. It's quite possible to raise children without family nearby.

 

[RedAngie]

There's no place like home.

 

[mom2rtk]

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[punkin]

There's no place like home.

And she was trying to get back to KANSAS!!!!!

Anyway, we moved from NY to the DC area 13 years ago. I have hated it every minute. I would move back in a heartbeat, but DH's job is here, so here we stay.

 

[emer95]

There's nothing that would entice me enough to make me move away from family. I live near Buffalo, and my entire family is within a few miles. We all like each other and get along, and see each other often. That's priceless to me.

What's bugging me lately are the smug posts of Facebook friends who have moved from Buffalo to Florida. We had a significant snowfall two days ago. Dangerous. I have three friends on FB who constantly post things like, "Better go out and snowblow the driveway again. Oh wait, I live in Florida now." The first few times it was cute, but it's getting old.

 

[mom2rtk]

I think once people have kids they realize how hard it is to raise them without some sort of support system nearby. And they have a newfound appreciation for family and want their kids to have a chance to get to know theirs better.

 

[Hikergirl]

But for those who say "family and friends" are the reason, why leave them to begin with if it's too hard to be away from them?

At the time, there weren't many jobs in my dh's field where we were from so we had no choice but to move away. Far away. We didn't move back exactly home, but we moved close enough where home is a day trip away.
When we first moved away it was hard, but I "knew" it was going to be great. After a year went by and I was pregnant again and so were some family and friends and I didn't want my kids to miss growing up with their family being close.
We went home for a wedding and after that I knew I had to come back home so I asked dh if he could look for a job here, and the rest is history.

 

[Hikergirl]

I left cold and family for warmer weather. I will never be back. It's quite possible to raise children without family nearby.

Of course it is, but some of us don't want too. Being close to my family means more to me than having to deal with cold weather. Its also quite possible that some people can deal with snow.

 

[DVC-Don]

I have no "home" to move back to if the urge struck me. Born and raised in Central Massachusetts but all my family there has either moved away or died since then. It is sort of a dead town and most people I grew up with have also moved away. I still have a couple of step brothers in northern Vermont, but we were never close and rarely visit them up there. I'm in the finale years of moving to Florida full time and do have an Uncle and cousin living there, so maybe that's my home?

 

[DebbieB]

But for those who say "family and friends" are the reason, why leave them to begin with if it's too hard to be away from them?

A lot of times for jobs. If you are in a corporate environment, many times you have to move for advancement.

 

[Micca]

We moved back close to our home base due to DGDs. Not only because we wanted a close relationship with them, but to lend a hand to our very busy DD & her DH. Other than that, we wouldn't be anywhere near here, though I think most people who live here thinks it's great. For me it's too cold, too hot, and too vanilla.

 

[luvflorida]

I have no desire to move back to cold country, even after 40+ years. Yes, I complain about the desert heat in the summer, but it's still better than trying to drive in the ice and snow. We never have to shovel sunshine.

This! We have been in Arizona for 7 1/2 years, so not nearly as long as you, but we cannot see us ever moving back to a cold climate.

Funny, though, because we never in a million years thought we'd ever be living anywhere other than the East Coast. Like many New Englanders, we always figured we'd retire to Florida. But grandchildren changed all that! We are living fifteen minutes from our grandkids and can't imagine being anywhere else. Yes, we miss are family and friends back home in Maine, and yes, it gets hotter than heck here in the summer, and yes, Arizona was never on our radar as a place to live, but we are enjoying life here very, very much!

It also helps that our son is living in Nevada and our younger daughter is in Colorado, so we get to see them frequently, too. And, we do go back every year to visit family and friends in New England. I LOVE that our grandkids are getting to know Maine (and the beach!) as well as they know Arizona!

 

[L&Lfan]

I have no "home" to move back to if the urge struck me. Born and raised in Central Massachusetts but all my family there has either moved away or died since then. It is sort of a dead town and most people I grew up with have also moved away. I still have a couple of step brothers in northern Vermont, but we were never close and rarely visit them up there. I'm in the finale years of moving to Florida full time and do have an Uncle and cousin living there, so maybe that's my home?

I don't know you but something about your post makes me wanna give you a hug!

Maybe because I have no family left either (that I 'm close to and/or that I particularly want to spend time with.)

 

[Dan Murphy]

I live in Chicago

Hard to leave Chicago.

 

[bethy]

Yes, and I started building community in my new home the minute I got here almost 30 years ago! I was raised on a farm in a remote, northern community and all I ever wanted as long as I can remember was to make it to the city. I moved 500 miles away when I was 19 and never, ever once considered going back to stay. Interestingly, my siblings did the same but both of them actually did "go home" upon their retirements and now live (and will probably die) in our old hometown. Me? Can't see it happening, especially since our DMom and other close family members have all passed on now.

We, too, just last month moved back to our small-ish hometown as our first step toward retirement. We were gone for 25 years and finally just couldn't do it anymore. There has been a huge improvement in the cost of living and the pace of life and the weather. But mostly we wanted to be near family and a part of their daily lives. We just missed them too much. I want to spend as much time with my parents while they are still living. And I want my kids to know them better. So far it's been great, even with the snow. I actually always missed the snow when I lived elsewhere.

 

[bethy]

I think once people have kids they realize how hard it is to raise them without some sort of support system nearby. And they have a newfound appreciation for family and want their kids to have a chance to get to know theirs better.

This. We spent 15 years raising our kids "alone." And while it is certainly possible that doesn't make it easy or ideal - at least not for our family.