Who's read the "difficult kiddos" post in Attractions forum?

[ireland_nicole]

O.K. so I read a thread title along the lines of "who will admit that their child has been "difficult" while at Disney? And I'm like, "I could tell you about what a day in our life (vacation or otherwise) is like, but why frighten you?" I'm honestly not quite sure whether to laugh or cry at the moment, so I'm going with ROTFL I mean, many people reported no problems, and most of the rest remember a single meltdown during an extended trip... wow, most people's lives must be really boring

Rock on, neurodiversity!
Nicole

 

[mechurchlady]

I have an 82 year old kid (mother) who has melt downs and hissy fits at times. Before she went to the hospital there were some dooseys just going to the store or restaurant. I wonder what it is like to have a perfect vacation where you get to use the facilities to their fullest, not have arguments over things, and relax. Last vacation locally meant not able to shower most of the time, about 2 to 3 hours sleep a day, and several trips home to get things and one trip to a store to buy stuff. What is a normal vacation, lol? That reminds me that next trip I have to pack tools, aspirin and bandaids for them pinched fingers from trying to geta wheelchair into a tiny car, lol.

Hugs and a link would be nice.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

Here is a link to the thread referred to. Don't forget many of these people do not have the day to day challanges people here have.

 

[KPeveler]

<~~~ I was a difficult child in Disney, and i had no major issues at that point. I was dealing with a mild/moderate EDS manifestation, so i was whiney that i ached, and I was ADD/SPD (well, we are just figuring out the SPD part now), but i did not have "major issues." there was nothing to explain my being a spoiled brat other than the fact that I was a daddy's girl and i was spoiled!

 

[Luv Bunnies]

Ya know, I was thinking the exact same thing when I first read that thread. I felt like saying, "Check out the DISabilities board and then decide if your life is really that difficult!" But I didn't because I realize that our lives have special circumstances that most people don't face and can't fully understand.

 

[alizesmom]

I only read a few posts. I say let them be happily unaware.

 

[of2dbeach]

I only read a few posts. I say let them be happily unaware.

I agree my son is probably the luckiest kid because he does his own thing but ya know just because he is autistic dosent mean he dosent hear what people say about him. once at church he beat the crap out of a kid because they made fun of him ( served the kids right actualy) but most of the time mike stays in his "Own little world" and I do wish I could do the same thing. people ask how i do it with 5 kids 3 are special needs.. heck I dunno its all I know.. you just go and do and dont think about it. When a melt down happens you deal with it and move on. The people staring etc dosent seem to bother me anymore and if I am in a pissy mood and someone stares I say well he dosent like ugly people who stare and make comment so he decided to give you a "real show " thanks for watching ! And I walk him away. Sometimes it is harder to deal with other peoples reactions then your own childs. The Comments hurt the worst I think , so now if I see someone having a hard time I ask if they want help. Sometimes it is all thats needed to destract the child , plus it lets the parent know there not alone just my 2 cents worth

 

[BeckyScott]

I think with us, we all have the opposite thinking.

Like last night the kids had spring showcase at school. Each grade did a mini-concert, one song, and there were tons of parents there. DS's class, the para got him into place, but she handles 3 kids in the class so it wasn't really obvious what she was doing. Then she stepped away from the risers and I was horrified he would do something and she wasn't standing right there. They did their song, and by some miracle, Justin did not start flapping, nor did he say anything loudly. That's his fave thing to do, wait til all is quiet and then say something really loud. He did look directly at me and *cheese* a few times, but all the kids were doing that.

Anyway, I was holding my breath the whole time, hoping that he'd just blend in. That's all I wanted. And he did.

We consider it a very good day when our kids just manage to blend in. Or I guess it's a half-full half-empty thing. Instead of being upset that the kid had a tantrum, we say "WOOHOO! He was good 75% of the day!"

After the concert we went out to the audience to wait for his brother and he started flapping then, of course. He's all rashed up right now and looks a mess. And I did catch one whole family staring, I was just not in the mood, so I gave them the evil eye. We usually don't have a problem at school because all the kids know each other so the kids are used to him flapping. The parents, seriously, I'm surprised that anyone would look at my son... I mean, he's flapping!... DUH!... what do ya think is going on?

 

[1stluvispooh]

I think with us, we all have the opposite thinking.

Like last night the kids had spring showcase at school. Each grade did a mini-concert, one song, and there were tons of parents there. DS's class, the para got him into place, but she handles 3 kids in the class so it wasn't really obvious what she was doing. Then she stepped away from the risers and I was horrified he would do something and she wasn't standing right there. They did their song, and by some miracle, Justin did not start flapping, nor did he say anything loudly. That's his fave thing to do, wait til all is quiet and then say something really loud. He did look directly at me and *cheese* a few times, but all the kids were doing that.

Anyway, I was holding my breath the whole time, hoping that he'd just blend in. That's all I wanted. And he did.

We consider it a very good day when our kids just manage to blend in. Or I guess it's a half-full half-empty thing. Instead of being upset that the kid had a tantrum, we say "WOOHOO! He was good 75% of the day!"

After the concert we went out to the audience to wait for his brother and he started flapping then, of course. He's all rashed up right now and looks a mess. And I did catch one whole family staring, I was just not in the mood, so I gave them the evil eye. We usually don't have a problem at school because all the kids know each other so the kids are used to him flapping. The parents, seriously, I'm surprised that anyone would look at my son... I mean, he's flapping!... DUH!... what do ya think is going on?

My DD had a class musical last week and I was saying the same prayer. "Please don't stand out" The only thing was she and her friend waved at her friends mom and dad, they were in the front row and she took longer to sit down. I was proud of her.

As for people who are not blessed with special kids that complain. Well I have to admit it gets to me. Especially when my sister in law does it non stop. Or I should say did it non stop. One day she started and I just said I would switch girls with her for the day. That shut her up!

 

[BamaFan121s]

Wow...after reading though this thread and having read through parts of the other one...well, I really just can't find the right words to express what I'm thinking. And not because of the attitudes in the other thread that are being analyzed here, but becuase of the haughty attitudes in THIS thread being displayed.

'Judgemental', maybe? I think maybe 'mocking' would be a good fit too, and possibly 'condescending.' I'm honestly at a loss for words, and that doesn't happen often.

Generally speaking, I realize that there are people in this world--dare I say the majority--that have what they consider 'issues' that they deal with in life that don't hold a candle to those others have to deal with. And probably they don't give it a second thought to walk a mile in another's shoes and consider how lucky they really are that there problems are what many would consider mild in comparison to those others have to deal with. And maybe the specific issue they complain about is mild in comparison to what the next person has to deal with. I realize that. But to down others because they don't 'see things from your perspective' or because in YOUR eyes, they don't know what REAL hardships are that YOU have to deal with. The "how could they possibly know what it's like to really deal with XYZ situation like I do" vibes are quite demoralizing. IMO, that is just plain wrong and not a judgement on others anyone has a right to make on another person.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Wow...after reading though this thread and having read through parts of the other one...well, I really just can't find the right words to express what I'm thinking. And not because of the attitudes in the other thread that are being analyzed here, but becuase of the haughty attitudes in THIS thread being displayed.

'Judgemental', maybe? I think maybe 'mocking' would be a good fit too, and possibly 'condescending.' I'm honestly at a loss for words, and that doesn't happen often.

Generally speaking, I realize that there are people in this world--dare I say the majority--that have what they consider 'issues' that they deal with in life that don't hold a candle to those others have to deal with. And probably they don't give it a second thought to walk a mile in another's shoes and consider how lucky they really are that there problems are what many would consider mild in comparison to those others have to deal with. And maybe the specific issue they complain about is mild in comparison to what the next person has to deal with. I realize that. But to down others because they don't 'see things from your perspective' or because in YOUR eyes, they don't know what REAL hardships are that YOU have to deal with. The "how could they possibly know what it's like to really deal with XYZ situation like I do" vibes are quite demoralizing. IMO, that is just plain wrong and not a judgement on others anyone has a right to make on another person.

I completely agree. You would think that the people on the Disabilities board would have more compassion for others. I've been flamed before for not being understanding and compassionate enough on this board, but apparently it only works one way. I find it reprehensible that you expect others to be understanding and non-judgmental when we see or hear certain things that happen within your families, but you don't extend the same courtesy. I've seen more "love" on the Transportation board than here.

 

[Cheshire Figment]

But I just went through that entire nine page thread. And nobody over here that I recognize has posted over there. It appears that the people in this Forum are letting them vent with their problem, while the people here are kind of chuckling about them.

And it seems that nobody here is attacking anybody on that other thread. And a few have commented that we should not go over there and tell them to live in our shoes for a while.

And, yes, the term condescending might fit some people's thoughts but the others don't know how we think or feel here.

 

[BamaFan121s]

But I just went through that entire nine page thread. And nobody over here that I recognize has posted over there. It appears that the people in this Forum are letting them vent with their problem, while the people here are kind of chuckling about them.

And it seems that nobody here is attacking anybody on that other thread. And a few have commented that we should not go over there and tell them to live in our shoes for a while.

And, yes, the term condescending might fit some people's thoughts but the others don't know how we think or feel here.

Generally speaking (not necessarily directed at you or anyone else Cheshire) that's just it...how can you be so sure who does and doesn't know "how you feel here." Unless someone chooses to divulge those aspects of their life here on the internet for all to be informed of, you have no clue what others "know." To assume such is judgemental, however which way you spin it or attempt to justify it.
I suppose that everyone "here" not bringing these personal issues "there" that thread but mocking those instead over "here" deserves a pat on the back? If I were to go over "there" and start a thread venting my frustration and passing judgement on those "here" would that be acceptable?
And no, at no point did anyone "here" single out any one individually--but the overall ambiance speaks for itself.
I guess generally speaking, I found it kind of like a slap in the face that others were being unfairly judged and dismissed as if they were below others.

Now I know why all the jokes are made about the "communities boards."

 

[Cheshire Figment]

I don't see anyone here mocking the people on that thread.

What I see are people commenting here that they agree these are problems for the people in that thread. And that it is not up to anyone in this forum to disabuse them of those thoughts.

As the Fourm title states, we are a community of people who are living with either our own disabilities or with people (usually close family members) who have disabilities.

And I agree with most of the people posting, that it is not up to us to educate others unless it has a specific direct effect on our lives.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Sorry if these seems argumentative Chesire, but I have to agree with BamaFan. These posts tend to minimize others' experiences and your use of the word "disabuse" clearly shows that you feel the same way. Parent angst is a very real emotion, whether your child is diagnosed with a disease or just misbehaving. The reason I came to the Disabilities thread was so I could educate myself on others' issues and situations so I would be a better person, and a better vacationer at Disney, so I wouldn't stare when someone's child was "misbehaving" -- at least that's what I used to think because I don't have anyone close to me that has ADD -- but now I know better. Others in other posts have mentioned that all are welcome here, so we can educate ourselves, but you seem to think it's not your job to do so, which I feel is very sad. Sorry if you feel our lives don't have enough daily heartache to qualify a visit to the Disabilities board.

 

[mechurchlady]

Here is a link to the thread referred to. Don't forget many of these people do not have the day to day challanges people here have.

I will gladly let them learn with mom, give me some names and addresses and I be shipping her to them. 3 days with her should be enough, lol.

I made pad thai with peanuts and frozen veggies, a bit sweet. she left most of the salmon and ate it. Shocked me. Go figure, the picky one eats rice noodles, lol.
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Aint got kids but this is what i have learned about kids in general.
They have a limited attention span based on their age which means standing in line for half an hour is too much for some kids as they will be bored silly and looking for something to do even if it is destructive.

Dont threaten kids. They learn the line and do not go over it. They push the line further and further. "Johnny get down, please" "Johnny if you do not stop we are leaving" "Johnny, you have the count of three. one ............. two .................. I mean it mistser ................... two and a half ....................... last chance .............. two point nine nine ...................." (kid finally obeys) or "Johnny you will get ice cream if you are good"

Just tell the kid stop and if he doesnt there is a reacstion such as fanny warming if severe or removal of priviledges. Act up in the store and you get no candy or dessert tonight. Hit your brother and we leave the line.

the orignal poster's husband physically restrained the kid instead of spanking or getting out of line. I would have taking him with me and made him set and wait while the family had fun. Restraining a child stops the kid from hitting but does not stop the mental processes. As for food, yeah, give the kid lots of carbs and get their little motor running at red-line so that they are hyper and bouncing off the walls.

Yes that is why I am not a parent, I would have been a mean one and scared little kids.

 

[BeckyScott]

Are we, perhaps, holding the members of this group to a higher standard?

While that's really flattering and all, it's not very realistic.

I'm all for educating the public. My kids are out there in public, mainstreamed as much as possible. In fact, I've posted several times on this board about trying to take DS to "typical" activities. I've got the ribbon magnet on my car and bracelet on my wrist. I've given my phone number to moms at the park. I am like a travel agent for Holland.

But.

I'm not a saint. Sometimes you just don't want to deal with it. And every now and then you want to stand up and scream "It's Not Fair!". And then you sit down and go back to your business. Sometimes you're just too tired to educate and you resort to the Evil Eye.

And sometimes you just want to go find some friends who are living in Holland too, and shrug and roll your eyes at the people who aren't there and won't ever be.

What I've seen happen at the dis several times... for example, there was a thread about making kids walk or how old is too old for a stroller, one of those threads... I had commented that we were renting one because DS has low muscle tone (blah blah blah)... others had posted similar things. And the reaction seemed to be "oh well that's different, we didn't mean you all". This same thread several posters had made very pointed comments to the effect that any kid over 3 in a stroller was lazy and spoiled. But we didn't mean you all, of course. It's not even in most people's radar.

 

[eyeore]

wow thanks guys i feel like ive been punched in the stomach. i posted on that thread and have two sons with disabilities. one who i was referring to is in a wheelchair and one who has adhd which i didnt mention as there was no need too. believe me my life is certainly not boring and im certainly not happily unaware.

 

[ireland_nicole]

Wow! I'm kinda glad at the minute that my internet has been down for a couple of days. I'm not quite sure where people think I was coming from...

What I was trying to say, was that the thread brought into bold relief the striking contrast between my experience and "typical." I don't think that I'm being judgemental, merely stating a (reasonably) informed opinion. The fact is, parents of kids w/ significant challenge do have a vvveeeerrrrryyy different expereince then people who do not. As some on this board know, I have two "alphabet soup" kids w/ multiple disabilities, including HFA,ADHD,Bipolar, RAD, SID, PDD-NOS... there's more, but I figure that's enough to give me a little "street cred."

I am not playing the "my disability is better/worse/more worthy than yours" game. It's pointless and divisive. I am an advocate for my children and people (including myself) w/ disabilities.

I just thought it was interesting that there were actually people out there who could remember a single meltdown as an unusual or significant event. Really. No ulterior motive. I just found it a truly foreign concept. And I wondered if anyone else felt the same or if it was just me. That's it.

I'm pretty good at trying to say what I mean in my posts. And I completely understand that people are entitled to differing opinions. But it's pretty safe to assume that my posts are only what I type, not some sweeping political commentary- unless I specifically state that is my intention.

Nicole
ps: This is also not intended to be a sweeping political commentary, just a post to give a little understanding as to my intention, since it has been questioned.

 

[BeckyScott]

I just thought it was interesting that there were actually people out there who could remember a single meltdown as an unusual or significant event. Really. No ulterior motive. I just found it a truly foreign concept. And I wondered if anyone else felt the same or if it was just me. That's it.

I've remembered a couple that were real doozies, but for the most part, the daily stuff, it doesn't even phase me anymore.