who wants to trade family members for the holidays?

[Grumpy's Gal]

ok -- I see a trend coming to the budget board. I just read all the threads on the first two pages and a lot seem to be leaning towards holidays and stress.

In stead of trying to predict what my "wonderful family member" will throw a fit about this year (pick any topic: his gift wasn't expensive enough, it wasn't the right thing, he didn't want THAT as a gift etc) and also he will try to control what gift we give the grandparents.........

I'm throwing in one BIL. A whining one.

If we all throw in one person, maybe we can "draw" and get someone new to be in our family atleast until Christmas is over. (or any other holiday your family celebrates in winter -- doesn't have to be Christmas.)

(Also, if anyone has a budget idea for a good gift for grandparents who have everything........I'd like that too!)

(as an ADDED BONUS I can also throw in the BIL's wife/enabler. But you have to act now...the first 100 callers will receive this ADDED BONUS at no charge! This is something you don't want to miss!)

 

[disneyfan'ole]

I'll throw in my mother!!

 

[mad_for_mickey]

Ooh I want to play!

I'll contribute a mother-in-law who talks CONSTANTLY! I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but seriously, I once timed less than 10 silent seconds during a 25 minute period. (My sweet mother thinks mil must have some sort of undiagnosed illness.)

Of course, it doesn't help things that she also knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING and is happy to show you all your flaws.

Any takers? Please???

 

[hambirg]

What a great idea!!

I offer up my SIL.

She must be related to the OP's BIL. No matter how nice of a gift you give her, her expression is always the same: like she just opened a big bag of dog poo. I actually would like to give her a big bag of dog poo, just so I could prove my theory that the expression is the same, is right.

 

[cjnix29]

I give my mother in law.....woman doesn't care about any other family member other than DH's sister...who can do no wrong, and needs everything, and is the only one she talks about. UGH!!

 

[pklein09]

OP...we usually send my inlaws an American Express Dining Out gift card. It can be used in any restaurant that takes Amex. Another thought....are there grandchildren, and can you get them in one place all at once? At Christmas during my first year home from college, my mom barely let me get my coat off when she told me to get changed because all 10 grandkids were getting their picture taken in less than an hour. Nana has it on her wall these 20+ years later.

As for family members to toss in the pot....can I toss in my cousin? He only shows up at the family party to collect his daughter's gift. It's a pollyanna, so the rest of us give pretty nice $25 gifts. Them? They maybe spend between $10 - $15 on the gift. We always dread who they have to buy for...that kid always gets the short end of the stick. This year, it's my daughter. Oh, well.

 

[indimom]

No trade here, I'll take the annoyance I know over an unknown horror any day.

BUT, on the subject of grandparents, I'm getting my MIL a hefty gift certificate to her salon. (She can get her hair done for months. ) I love her, and she is an absolute sweetheart, but she is IMPOSSIBLE to shop for.
She doesn't "do" plants or knick knacks or gadgets, never likes the newest/latest or greatest appliances, funds her own hobbies, is particular about her clothes, doesn't eat out, doesn't vacation. She's been known to give her gifts away TO THE FAMILY THAT GAVE IT TO HER IN THE FIRST PLACE. She's a gift giver's nightmare!!! But, I have high hopes that she will keep AND use this gift.
BUT if my daughter comes home from her house in January with the gift certificate, I'm going to dye her hair purple and get her a piercing with it, just to teach grandma a lesson about giving away her gifts. Okay, maybe not, but I would seriously consider it.

 

[pklein09]

Another thought here after reading the hair salon suggestion... we've done that for Nana, too. We've also picked up her cable and telephone bills for the year. (She was NOT happy with us on that one, but did comment over the course of the year that she had extra money....),

 

[xanphylus]

I give my mother in law.....woman doesn't care about any other family member other than DH's sister...who can do no wrong, and needs everything, and is the only one she talks about. UGH!!

I've got one of those MIL's too! Maybe we can trade and see if one's better than the other.

Mine thinks one of her kids is the greatest and the rest.... well, we won't go there. And as for grandchildren- the only grandchild that matters is the first one born to each of her children... which leaves my DS2 out in the cold. He is my first, my DH's second. So he is nothing to grandma. UGH!

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

We've also picked up her cable and telephone bills for the year. (She was NOT happy with us on that one, but did comment over the course of the year that she had extra money....),

I do like this idea! It's a gift they can't "not use" and I know they like to watch "their shows" !

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

I've got one of those MIL's too!

Mine thinks one of her kids is the greatest and the rest.... well, we won't go there. And as for grandchildren- the only grandchild that matters is the first one born to each of her children...

let me add one word and this could be me........the only grandchild that matters is the first MALE born to each of her children.

How sad is that!

 

[FarmDisney]

I'll offer up my mother and my mother-in-law! My mother adores my sister in Oklahoma - an 8 hour drive - and her two children. She doesn't even know what her other 7, soon to be 8, grandchildren are up to. She had to ask me last year how old my kids were!

As for my mother-in-law, she talks constantly and answers her own questions with her own made up answer. She told me that this year for Christmas I'm getting maternity underwear and my hubby is getting socks! One year we got her film for her Polaroid camera, and she wanted to pay us for it.

As for gifts - I usually end up doing photo gifts. Last year I gave the grands photo albums.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

Frst, the gift...my grandparents have been paying my great-grandma's cable bill for several years. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to afford it and at 98 TV is kind of her life.

Also, I think this is nice...
http://www.walmart.com/ip/50x60-Collage-Woven-Throw-IS/13812411#ProductDetail


As for trading. I fee bad saying it but my mom is stressing me out this (and every) Christmas. She is mad at me (again) and hasn't spoken to me since May. I have tried to call and email, she replies with a letter in the mail about all the things that I have disapointed her with in my life and says "when we work this out we can talk again." So I email back and she snail mails me back and this has been going on since May. I am to the point where I'd just be done (which I know is sad) except that her DH is dying, and while I am not particularly fond of him, I have put on enough of a nice face that my kids don't know that and it makes them sad that they don't want to see us and he may not make it till the holidays so they may never see him again. On top of that my mom has made her DH her whole life and really has no friends and talks to no one in the family (much anyway) so when he passes she will be all alone. I hate that this is happening at the holidays, when it started in May I never dreamed we'd still be facing this, but here we are. Last time she stopped talking to me it was for 2 years though, so who knows?

So while I hate to say it, I'd do anything for a "normal" relationship with my mom (never had that, don't know what it's even like) and to not be going though this at all, let alone at the holidays and even worse when time is literally running out.

 

[TallyTutter]

Any takers for an older sister? I'll trade her for the whinny BIL & 2 of the witchy MIL's - you're choice!

My sister decided to go on a diet last year that consisted of very little food (500 calories a day) + gallons of water + tons of vitamins (to make up for the food not allowed on the diet) + prescription speed. She lost almost all of the weight she wanted. The speed caused her to have HUGE mood swings (swinging mostly to the angry side) so she has also lost most of her family. 6 months later, she gained all the weight back & still isn't talking to most of the family.

Merry Christmas? Who knows?

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Wow, good to see I'm not the only one with ILs who just don't get it...

I'm throwing in my SMIL and FIL (they are a unit and count as one) -- who treat the grandkids differently on a sliding scale. The favorites are her daughter's kids, then my son, then my SIL's youngest, and last her two oldest, who happen to be adopted. And they don't even try to hide it! They give the kids gifts based on who they prefer, and it is embarrassing for everyone. They also only spend time with her daughter's kids -- they refuse to travel to my SILs in FL from NH (they visit her family in TX all the time, they just don't want to be bothered), and they also can't manage to come to our house, an hour away. We offer to visit, and they always have a reason they're too busy...they're both retired, and I don't doubt they have things to do, but still -- I made a big effort last year. We offered to come to their house 4 times, and invited them to ours 4 times. They came once, and that was all the contact they needed with us. My SIL thinks the daughter told them if they see our kids they can't see hers, but I think they're just lazy and thoughtless, and they don't care about the kids that aren't thrust in their faces 24/7.

The daughter is a SAHM who has them picking up her kids after school every day. Yes, all the kids are in school -- she just doesn't want to do it. She also cut off all contact with my FIL's kids, so we never see her. She sends a Christmas card to the kids in the household, leaving off the names of the adults. It's bizarre. I'd throw her out but she already took herself away

That felt good -- what a great idea for a thread!

Maria

 

[rszdtrvl]

I have a MIL who is a prescription drug addict, laughs one minute and cries the next, and cannot have a conversation without talking smack about someone. She will also tell you one thing and turn around within 5 minutes and tell your spouse the opposite. Oh - and she also doesn't ever stop talking - you need to hide in the bathroom to get away!

I won't even need a trade - you can just HAVE her!

 

[lindsmom]

I've got an uncle who gets drunk and then slaps us (i.e. his nieces) on the a@@, then looks around with a "who farted" look like we don't know he did it!

It's a two - fer though, cause he goes with his sister (my mom) who hasn't had her paxil in a year so when she starts drinking she criticizes all of us individually at the top of her lungs. Merry Christmas!

 

[punkin]

I'd like to put up two BILs. (Dh's brother and my sister's DH). Both are complete and total control freaks and mooches.

 

[CTdiznymom]

OMG this is such great thread. I don't know if I should laugh or cry! It is nice to know that we are not alone in the relatives from H...L catagory.

I would like to throw in the following ( I'll give you your choice)

1. My sister who hasn't spoken to me in 5yrs. but you have to take her butt kissing husband.
2. My other sister who will invite us (bc it's her turn) and not lift a finger.
3. My SIL who if I see more than 3 times/yr. I start to have a nervous twitch. She's talks constantly and is very loud as she is hard of hearing. Thinks she knows everything, but is always wrong.Never a kind word for anyone.
4. BIL (#3's DH) looks like Captn' Lou Albano. Doesn't own a clean shirt. Always with a beer in his hand after downing who knows how much.with a wife like his I guess I would drink too.
5. Newly widowed MIL who in years past has never been a problem. Kind, gentle woman who now is starting to show her whiny needy side.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL.

 

[mousefanmichelle]

Ok I'll play too...

I'll throw in my middle sister. She manages to turn every holiday into a living nightmare! She drinks too much, shoots off her big mouth creating nothing but havoc and then storms out. To add to that I will throw in with her (a double whammy) my older sisters middle son. These two are cut from the same cloth - must be a middle thing - he also drinks too much and shoots his mouth off and then takes off with his aunt. Gotta love it!