Who asked for YOUR input???

[Planogirl]

Funny but there's another thread asking if people join in on conversations when they hear people talking about Disney. I wouldn't jump into either conversation but some think it's OK. I don't really consider it rude but I'm just too private I guess.

 

[eelkmj01]

I've now gotten bored with this. OP has changed her story several times to justify her position. Now she didn't "ignore" DD b/c of the technicality of DD not "directing" a question at anyone. In the original post, she clearly states she changed the subject. Maybe if OP and DD would have put the "gross" fish eggs in their mouths, there wouldn't have been a conversation to "eavesdrop"

 

[GinnyEmma]

That's just it...she wasn't actually supposed to say anything. It was not her conversation. The question was not directed at her at all. She was eavesdropping on a private conversation at the next table. This wasn't a cocktail party well you're all at least friends-of-friends. She was a total stranger. The whole situation was none of her business. And she wasn't being helpful...she called the food "gross" That's not helpful by any definition.

If you are talking loud enough in a restaurant for mention hear your conversation all bets are off. Whatever happened to people speaking with restaurant voices? I do not want to hear your conversation, and speak so that you can't hear mine. Problem solved.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Anyway. This post has been a real eye-opener in so many ways. I must say that I am stunned that so many people think that it is perfectly acceptable, and even a good idea to come over and make comment on what is on other peoples plates while dining out. Even to say that something was gross.

To each his own, but in my book it is rude.

I am stunned that an adult would lie to another adult about something they might find offensive. Also stunned that you find it ok to talk loud enough for others in the restaurant to hear your conversation. And stunned that you think that is ok.

As you said, to each his own, but I find it rude...

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

For the record...I said that my daughter said she "wondered what the orange stuff was.." it was not a question directed at anyone. More like she was talking to herself while examining the different selections. .

She wondered so loudly to herself that people at another table heard her, but you ignored her?

 

[GinnyEmma]

She wondered so loudly to herself that people at another table heard her, but you ignored her?

Lalalala...I can't hear you...

 

[carlyle688]

I feel my world would be a smaller place if I didn't engage perfect strangers. It has served me well so far.

Amen to that. I met my best friend while in line for Peter Noone at the AGT when I "eavesdropped" and "butted in" on her conversation.

 

[momof2n2]

OP - I don't know if you are even still reading this thread [I certainly would have stopped checking it a while back!]

I agree with you. The woman who jumped in didn't do you any favors and ruined your meal. I am sorry to hear it. If when your daugther made a gross face [and I am glad that this thread did not start asking you to describe exactly what her face was doing!] the other woman were truly helpful, she would have said, "Oh no, it's really good for you," or "It's full of protein."

If I heard someone at a table next to me comment on something on THEIR plate that I thought was gross, and I found a way into their conversation, it would be because I wanted to tell them how gross it was... right? But I would never do that. And I'd like to think no one else on the board would, either.

 

[cuchu2005]

So ("gross" aside)you are telling me if you accidentally heard someone ask a question, and you knew the answer, you would never ever offer any assistance, under any circumstances?

There's nothing wrong with offering. Just don't impose it uninvitedly.

Mx

 

[cuchu2005]

"C'mon! At least ask if your opinion is needed."

But initially she didn't give an opinion, she gave a factual answer to a question that the people at the table (apparently anyway) did not know.

What was she supposed to say? " I just heard you ask what that orange stuff is. I know what it is. Would you like me to tell you?" Really?!

Obviously the kid was going to say "yes, I would like to know," having just asked exactly that. I can't imagine Mom was going to say "please do not tell her," and get away with it. So I don't see how that would have changed anything.

BTW how does one change the conversation anyay? "Hey what is this orange stuff." "It is really cold outside isn't it." "Yeah, do you know what this orange stuff is?" "I mean really really cold..."

Thinking about the art of distraction, I am curious whether the kid may have even asked more than once.

I'm sorry but I consider the 'gross' coment as an opinion. That's what IMO gives away her true intentions. Oh! And fish eggs seems too factual to me. i just don't believe the whole scene meant well.

Mx

 

[mdsoccermom]

Thanks for the sane words, Cathy. I have found all of the speculation regarding this somewhat amusing and not worth answering.

For the record...I said that my daughter said she "wondered what the orange stuff was.." it was not a question directed at anyone. More like she was talking to herself while examining the different selections. I didn't ignore her question as it has been insinuated. If she had said "Mom, what is this orange stuff" I would have answered her. Also, we ordered a variety, some with roe some without. No one was trying to trick her. She wasn't speaking loudly. The tables are very close together. It would be easy for someone to hear the entire conversation if they were interested. It was clear that the young woman was not trying to be helpful both by her tone and by the words she used. She actually said that it was "fried fish eggs" but I really didn't think that this post would be dissected to the degree that I needed to say that.

Anyway. This post has been a real eye-opener in so many ways. I must say that I am stunned that so many people think that it is perfectly acceptable, and even a good idea to come over and make comment on what is on other peoples plates while dining out. Even to say that something was gross.

To each his own, but in my book it is rude.

So then you didn't try to change the subject as you said here:

Well, my sister and I were well aware that it was roe, but I knew that if we shared that detail while we were eating to my picky eater daughter she would not eat any more. We just sort of changed the subject.

 

[shezfrombermuda]

Hi, I'm actually the same age as your daughter, and I can be a picky eater for medical reasons.

1- I always know exactly what I'm eating. Didn't the menu explain what was in that particular sushi?
2- If something ended up on my plate that I don't eat, which has happened many times, I simply take it off or push it aside, no harm done.
3- I think the lady was trying to be helpful. I don't really see an issue with what she did, but I think the "gross" comment was out of place.
But then again, I wouldn't let it ruin anything for sure.

just my .02!

I am a picky eater as well for medical reasons and always know what I am eating. I really think the woman responded with the "gross" comment because of the look of horror on the daughter's face. She was just agreeing with her. I also think the woman was just trying to be helpful. I would look back on what a great trip we had and not let this effect me.

 

[DannyDisneyFreak]

On threads like this, as I had pointed out in my earlier post, it is very interesting seeing the differenent points of view... and even more interesting how everyone thinks they are right! No matter what the womans intetions were (which I think we would all agree that she was not trying to be malicious or ruin anyones last meal of their vacation) What the question comes down to is this: Is it appropriate for someone to enter into someone elses conversation without an invitation? This will also very by opinion so lets continue to discuss this until people start taking this way too personal and get this thread shut down by the Mods...

 

[reiella]

*shrug* Try not to let it bother you, they were prolly just being sociable. And if they weren't, then well they aren't really worth worrying about anyway .

Much the same way ya shouldn't get annoyed if someone explains that there are in fact two lines at Quick Service registers or how fast passes work without being 'prompted'. It's not that big of a deal.

 

[DaisyMaisie]

"What the question comes down to is this: Is it appropriate for someone to enter into someone elses conversation without an invitation?"

That is definitely the interesting issue. For example, if someone hears you talking about the small town they come from, or something incredibly interesting about which they have expertise? Would you really be offended if they said "excuse me I could not help but over hear..."

 

[Disneyadore]

"What the question comes down to is this: Is it appropriate for someone to enter into someone elses conversation without an invitation?"

That is definitely the interesting issue. For example, if someone hears you talking about the small town they come from, or something incredibly interesting about which they have expertise? Would you really be offended if they said "excuse me I could not help but over hear..."

Another example. We shared many tables with strangers and had the most wonderful and amazing conversations because they could not find a free spot. Next time I will just turn my head if I see people asking if the could joins us. The horror we could hear comments we don't like.

 

[cuchu2005]

"What the question comes down to is this: Is it appropriate for someone to enter into someone elses conversation without an invitation?"

That is definitely the interesting issue. For example, if someone hears you talking about the small town they come from, or something incredibly interesting about which they have expertise? Would you really be offended if they said "excuse me I could not help but over hear..."

I would not be offended, but this was not the case. As per OP words, there was no introduction to the information that was going to be given out.

That's exactly what I meant two posts earlier. Ask, (like in your example), because you could have heard without spying on someone.

But if you just join the conversation, like you would have been a part of it from the beggining, two things could happen: a) Upset the party having the conversation and not wanting strangers to be a part of it - b) create a situation like the one that started this thread.

Of course, the other option is a good reception from the 'conversating party', but as that can't be predicted, a more conservative approach would suit best (not interferring, or asking if you can express yourself on that matter).

Besides, in this case, there were all grown ups. They could have asked the waiter of staff at the restaurant if they really needed to know.

Mx

 

[sam_gordon]

But if you just join the conversation, like you would have been a part of it from the beggining, two things could happen: a) Upset the party having the conversation and not wanting strangers to be a part of it - b) create a situation like the one that started this thread.

But aren't A & B both the same? The party having the conversation was upset.

If you interrupt from overhearing (as opposed to eavesdropping) and pass along information, there are two possible outcomes... A) you will either be taken as rude or B) the information will be appreciated. So, 50/50 shot.

At WDW, part of the attraction for some people is making conversation with strangers. So I think that weighs toward B somewhat. I still say "no harm/no foul".

 

[DaisyMaisie]

So if she said "excuse me I could not help but overhear, I used to work in a sushi restaurant and can tell you what things are if you like" That would have been all right?

At which point the daughter would probably say "what is the orange stuff?" The young lady would have told her and the girl would have looked shocked and appalled.

So if the young lady had not followed up with the unfortunate "gross" comment would anything have really been different?

At least now daughter wont embarrass herself the next time she has sushi in a situation that Mom cannot try to control.

Fortunately they still had a wonderful trip. So thanks for bringing us this interesting thread. Lets all have a very Disney Day : )

 

[ols386]

But aren't A & B both the same? The party having the conversation was upset.

If you interrupt from overhearing (as opposed to eavesdropping) and pass along information, there are two possible outcomes... A) you will either be taken as rude or B) the information will be appreciated. So, 50/50 shot.

At WDW, part of the attraction for some people is making conversation with strangers. So I think that weighs toward B somewhat. I still say "no harm/no foul".

That may be part of the attraction for some people, but not for everyone.