Who asked for YOUR input???

[ols386]

Wow. I never knew how many peoples vacations I ruined by giving them tidbits of info when I tossed myself into their conversations.

I wonder if Disney is going to be taking down all our names and banning us from entering the parks in the future....you know "those" of us who are vacation ruiners.

Yes, I think I heard a rumor that they would begin doing this, starting in 2011.

 

[carrie1626]

Sorry, this looks like another one of those "blame someone else"

The mentioned DD is a 2nd year college student, the mom already thought she'd be grossed out so why didn't she(mom) ask her(daughter) long before the meal if she knew what she was eating......

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

We had just started enjoying all of the beautiful sushi rolls when my daughter wondered aloud what the orange stuff was. Well, my sister and I were well aware that it was roe, but I knew that if we shared that detail while we were eating to my picky eater daughter she would not eat any more. We just sort of changed the subject.

So you were not going to share a detail that your adult daughter asked you about? You just changed the subject? Why would you treat an adult like this? I don't understand this part?

I am not being sarcastic. I truly want to know if this is a common way to treat adult children?

 

[Tiggernut_jadie]

Sorry but I agree with the majority here. The one I would be angry with if I were your DD is YOU and your sister for lying to me! I am quite picky when it comes to meat - I don't eat offal of any sort nor veal or venison so if the person I was with - especially if they were a close family member - lied to me about what I was eating I would be furious! How awful for your DD to find out what she'd been eating from a total stranger.

As someone else asked - have you let your DD know that you knew all aong what she was eating?

 

[ols386]

Sorry but I agree with the majority here. The one I would be angry with if I were your DD is YOU and your sister for lying to me! I am quite picky when it comes to meat - I don't eat offal of any sort nor veal or venison so if the person I was with - especially if they were a close family member - lied to me about what I was eating I would be furious! How awful for your DD to find out what she'd been eating from a total stranger.

As someone else asked - have you let your DD know that you knew all aong what she was eating?

If the dd is college-age, she should certainly be capable of finding out for herself exactly what she is eating. It's not like she is a child.

 

[Snape]

If the dd is college-age, she should certainly be capable of finding out for herself exactly what she is eating. It's not like she is a child.

Small children know what is in sushi so the notion that a 20 year old doesn't is puzzling to me.

 

[Deb & Bill]

If the OP's daughter had asked what she should do about her pregnancy, that she was two and a half months along - should she keep the baby, give it up for adoption or abort it... And then the stranger butts in with "good girls don't get pregnant when she isn't married, blah, blah, blah" Now that would be butting into a conversation that she had no business butting into.

But "what's this orange stuff"? Come on.

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

If the OP's daughter had asked what she should do about her pregnancy, that she was two and a half months along - should she keep the baby, give it up for adoption or abort it... And then the stranger butts in with "good girls don't get pregnant when she isn't married, blah, blah, blah" Now that would be butting into a conversation that she had no business butting into.

But "what's this orange stuff"? Come on.

I have to agree here, Deb & Bill. The fact that two other adults sat there not answering her very valid question may also have played a part.

Please, I need to know if it is normal (or common) to "change the subject" when an adult asks another adult what they are eating I have never in my life heard of such a thing.

 

[KellyNY]

C'mon, stranger tried to be helpful, that is all. And please, like she said Mickey is not real to 3 yo. 3 adult women were eating, question was unanswered, she helped, that is all. BTW, I think everyone deserves to know what they eat and not to be fooled. I am really amazed sometimes what can take away magic from some peoples trips.

 

[cuchu2005]

But on the other hand, if you heard a family discussing the best way to get to a certain attraction, would you simply walk away or would you try to help?

Note: 'attraction' is the first thing that came to mind. It might be how to get to DTD from Epcot, or whether you need special tickets to EMH, or any number of questions about Disney.

I guess that if really felt the need to say something I'd first ask if they are interested in my opinion, and not just spit it. Because, as I'm not part of the conversation I could make someone uncomfortable.

I don't know, i get the feeling that a lot of people think that overhearing a conversation, automatically entitles them to be part of it and give their opinion to the ones having the conversation. I don't agree with that. Just because the door to my house is open, that doesn't mean everyone's invited.

Again, I'm not judging nor defending OP. Every one of us do what consider best for our children, even if it's not the perfect choice. But getting in the middle of someone else's conversation... C'mon! At least ask if your opinion is needed.

Mx

 

[catne]

I guess that if really felt the need to say something I'd first ask if they are interested in my opinion, and not just spit it. Because, as I'm not part of the conversation I could make someone uncomfortable.

I don't know, i get the feeling that a lot of people think that overhearing a conversation, automatically entitles them to be part of it and give their opinion to the ones having the conversation. I don't agree with that. Just because the door to my house is open, that doesn't mean everyone's invited.

Again, I'm not judging nor defending OP. Every one of us do what consider best for our children, even if it's not the perfect choice. But getting in the middle of someone else's conversation... C'mon! At least ask if your opinion is needed.

Mx

Here, Here.

There's so many threads about rudeness at Disney...this thread is perhaps a good lesson! Cannot believe how many people see nothing wrong with first eavesdropping on private conversations & then joining someone else's conversations. This is NOT being helpful. It's rude, plain & simple. Just because the tables are too close together & you CAN hear the next table's conversation does not give you permission to get into that conversation! My grandma would have called it being a busybody, sticking your nose into someone else's business.

 

[DaisyMaisie]

"C'mon! At least ask if your opinion is needed."

But initially she didn't give an opinion, she gave a factual answer to a question that the people at the table (apparently anyway) did not know.

What was she supposed to say? " I just heard you ask what that orange stuff is. I know what it is. Would you like me to tell you?" Really?!

Obviously the kid was going to say "yes, I would like to know," having just asked exactly that. I can't imagine Mom was going to say "please do not tell her," and get away with it. So I don't see how that would have changed anything.

BTW how does one change the conversation anyay? "Hey what is this orange stuff." "It is really cold outside isn't it." "Yeah, do you know what this orange stuff is?" "I mean really really cold..."

Thinking about the art of distraction, I am curious whether the kid may have even asked more than once.

 

[Rhonna]

"Well, my sister and I were well aware that it was roe, but I knew that if we shared that detail while we were eating to my picky eater daughter she would not eat any more"

sounds like trickery and deception to me.
the outsider who told your daughter what she was eating just told her the truth, since neither other two adults at the table did.


just my one cent's worth.

I agree with you. I wouldn't be thrilled to be tricked either. But then, I would have asked the waiter if I didn't get an answer from anyone in my party. I think people try things when they are ready. I didn't think I would like caviar, had the opportunity to try it in first class once (was bumped up) and yeah, I didn't like it. Gave the rest to the guy sitting by me.

I was really ticked off when I was a kid sleeping over at my friend's house and she and her mom tricked my into eating jerky that I thought tasted weird. I even asked them about it but they wouldn't give me an answer (sound familiar?) AFTER I ate it they told me it was HORSE meat jerky! No, I was not happy. No, I would NOT have tried it if I had known what it really was. To this day I think it was a really rude thing to do.

 

[catne]

"C'mon! At least ask if your opinion is needed."

But initially she didn't give an opinion, she gave a factual answer to a question that the people at the table (apparently anyway) did not know.

What was she supposed to say? " I just heard you ask what that orange stuff is. I know what it is. Would you like me to tell you?" Really?!

Obviously the kid was going to say "yes, I would like to know," having just asked exactly that. I can't imagine Mom was going to say "please do not tell her," and get away with it. So I don't see how that would have changed anything.

BTW how does one change the conversation anyay? "Hey what is this orange stuff." "It is really cold outside isn't it." "Yeah, do you know what this orange stuff is?" "I mean really really cold..."

Thinking about the art of distraction, I am curious whether the kid may have even asked more than once.

That's just it...she wasn't actually supposed to say anything. It was not her conversation. The question was not directed at her at all. She was eavesdropping on a private conversation at the next table. This wasn't a cocktail party well you're all at least friends-of-friends. She was a total stranger. The whole situation was none of her business. And she wasn't being helpful...she called the food "gross" That's not helpful by any definition.

 

[DaisyMaisie]

OP why did you order sushi that had fish roe on it if you knew your daughter would be upset? As you yourself said there are lots of more "safe" options available.

 

[rosiep]

Here, Here.

There's so many threads about rudeness at Disney...this thread is perhaps a good lesson! Cannot believe how many people see nothing wrong with first eavesdropping on private conversations & then joining someone else's conversations. This is NOT being helpful. It's rude, plain & simple. Just because the tables are too close together & you CAN hear the next table's conversation does not give you permission to get into that conversation! My grandma would have called it being a busybody, sticking your nose into someone else's business.

One man's meat is another man's poison.

I feel my world would be a smaller place if I didn't engage perfect strangers. It has served me well so far.

 

[DaisyMaisie]

"That's just it...she wasn't actually supposed to say anything. It was not her conversation. The question was not directed at her at all. She was eavesdropping on a private conversation at the next table."

First of all, I don't think we can assume she was "eavesdropping" or even that the conversation was all that private. The daughter was speaking loudly enough in a public restaurant that the young lady probably could not help but over hear.

So ("gross" aside)you are telling me if you accidentally heard someone ask a question, and you knew the answer, you would never ever offer any assistance, under any circumstances?

Once again I am curious how the daughter felt about having her question answered.

 

[joybeth]

That's just it...she wasn't actually supposed to say anything. It was not her conversation. The question was not directed at her at all. She was eavesdropping on a private conversation at the next table. This wasn't a cocktail party well you're all at least friends-of-friends. She was a total stranger. The whole situation was none of her business. And she wasn't being helpful...she called the food "gross" That's not helpful by any definition.

Thanks for the sane words, Cathy. I have found all of the speculation regarding this somewhat amusing and not worth answering.

For the record...I said that my daughter said she "wondered what the orange stuff was.." it was not a question directed at anyone. More like she was talking to herself while examining the different selections. I didn't ignore her question as it has been insinuated. If she had said "Mom, what is this orange stuff" I would have answered her. Also, we ordered a variety, some with roe some without. No one was trying to trick her. She wasn't speaking loudly. The tables are very close together. It would be easy for someone to hear the entire conversation if they were interested. It was clear that the young woman was not trying to be helpful both by her tone and by the words she used. She actually said that it was "fried fish eggs" but I really didn't think that this post would be dissected to the degree that I needed to say that.

Anyway. This post has been a real eye-opener in so many ways. I must say that I am stunned that so many people think that it is perfectly acceptable, and even a good idea to come over and make comment on what is on other peoples plates while dining out. Even to say that something was gross.

To each his own, but in my book it is rude.

 

[bwilcox]

So ("gross" aside)you are telling me if you accidentally heard someone ask a question, and you knew the answer, you would never ever offer any assistance, under any circumstances?

There ARE some circumstances where that would be OK. In a restaurant at a different table beside someone having a private conversation with the people at their table-not one of them.

 

[KellyNY]

She said it gross when young lady, yes she is not a kid at 19 or 20, looked at her shocked. She did not just come and commented. Please if people are not allowed to speak to your family, do not go to public places. This is a perfect case of displacement of anger. Both, mother and aunt tricked girl into eating something they knew she will not like and when it failed, it was just easier to blame a friendly,helpful stranger and not themselves.