When your job impacts your child

[svioli]

OP - please stop beating yourself up. Life happens.

You have a responsibility to take care of your son - making sure you have a job is one way those responsibities get taken care of.

You can explain to your son - sometimes things like this happen! He doesn't have to like it, you don't either, but that's just the way it is.

You're going a great job and don't listen to the haters!!

 

[Liberty Belle]

I've never had a job that was more important than my child. Never.

Which ball are you willing to drop? If it's your child, then you need to make alternate arrangements with a friend or neighbor to make sure your child gets where he needs to be on time.

If it's your job, then you need to schedule meetings when it won't interfere with his normal routine.

I would agree, if this happened more than once or twice. A couple of times isn't going to hurt anything and I think it's good for your child to see you so dedicated to your work. I'm sure he knows just how dedicated you are to him, as well.

 

[clutter]

I've never had a job that was more important than my child. Never.

Which ball are you willing to drop? If it's your child, then you need to make alternate arrangements with a friend or neighbor to make sure your child gets where he needs to be on time.

If it's your job, then you need to schedule meetings when it won't interfere with his normal routine.

Clearly you've never been a single mother. You can put food on the table and a roof over their heads without having a job that drops bombs in your lap on occasion. However, if you want that roof to be in a safe neighborhood with good schools, well, sometimes jobs drop bombs on you. As a single parent, you do your best to be prepared for them.

OP, hang in there. Stuff happens. Frankly, I think it's good for our kids (single parent, single child) to be reminded on occasion that OUR world does not revolve around them. We don't tend to have a lot of other conflicts, so it tends to make it worse. Don't beat yourself up over it. I'm guessing your son is around 7 or so, trust me, he'll survive! (Mine's 12.)

 

[ols386]

That's helpful. Way to kick her while she's down.

I agree. The op never said her job was more important than her child.

 

[KandD]

OP it is tough to be a single mom but it sounds like you are doing a great job. Just like you were having a rough day, maybe your son was having a rough day too, you know? If the same thing didn't happen today but happened tomorrow he might not have reacted in just the same way...sometimes moms get overwhelmed and kids do too.
Nothing to beat yourself up about. You are showing your DS how dedicated you are to your job and to him at the same time.

 

[SaraJayne]

I don't see ANYwhere in the op's post that she said her job was more important than her child. Just curious if you are a single working mother. Working parents, single or not, tend to find importance in putting food on the table and having a roof over their heads.

Most 10-year olds aren't such special little snowflakes that their routine can't be shaken up occasionally.

I am not a single working mother and that is mainly due to the fact I was raised by one.

I've been where the OP's son is...and it isn't a great place. Children have a very limited perspective. So in his little mind, Mom's work is more important than him getting to school on time.

 

[SaraJayne]

Since my job is what puts food on my child's table and keeps a roof over his head, it's just not that simple. Feeding my child is not "dropping him".

What's the back up plan if it happens again? I think today would be a great day to put something in place, in the event that the same thing happens in the future.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I don't think that the kid is going to be scarred by this at all.

Would it help to explain to your son that what you were doing impacted another child's life? Does it help him to know that you are doing good works in addition to putting food on the table?

 

[Tracy Savage]

I've never had a job that was more important than my child. Never.

Which ball are you willing to drop? If it's your child, then you need to make alternate arrangements with a friend or neighbor to make sure your child gets where he needs to be on time.

If it's your job, then you need to schedule meetings when it won't interfere with his normal routine.

WOW. I don't know about you but I HAVE to work. No Option. I have scaled back and DH and I have agreed to "be Poor" while our son is young. I work my schedule around my son as best I can. But, Things happen, and thats life. My son has learned that. That in no way means HE is not my first priority, he is and he knows it and my boss knows it. He has everything he needs and more and for that I have to work. And he understands that. We all have to bend alittle to make things work.

 

[themilesfamily]

Usually I manage the working and parenting thing just fine

OP, I think you said it all right there. Usually things work out JUST FINE. And as a single-parent, what choice do you have? You have to work and so you do your best.

Life isn't perfect -- for you, me, our children, anyone. There are always going to be mixups, difficulties, snafus. We all have to learn to cope and accept the ups and downs of life. It's reality.

I'm sure you're doing the best job you can for your family.

-----

For those who were jumping all over the poster who commented about not dropping the ball on your kid. I'm going to back her up a bit. Not in regard to the OP -- but our society in general. I feel that so many kids are getting the short end of the parenting stick. It's sad that we've reached a point where most families feel the need for both parents to work. I really long for the days when there was one parent at home -- for the sake of the kids and for the family, in general. Politicians are now proposing lengthening the school day by three hours in order to cover that "at-risk" time for kids -- the time between school letting out and their parents getting home from work. I think it's just sad we're putting this burden on our kids. Kids getting shipped off to daycare or placed with nannies as infants, extending the school day so that they be supervised properly because parents aren't there. I'm concerned about how this will impact children. So I do share some sentiments of the unpopular PP. If that makes me unpopular, too, then I can't help that, because that's the way I feel.

 

[KAMKIM]

I am not a single working mother and that is mainly due to the fact I was raised by one.

I've been where the OP's son is...and it isn't a great place. Children have a very limited perspective. So in his little mind, Mom's work is more important than him getting to school on time.

Dont assume all single moms are single by choice.

What do you mean you've been where her son is? He was 20mins late to school one day! do those little disappointments in life still bother you as an adult???

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am not a single working mother and that is mainly due to the fact I was raised by one.
I've been where the OP's son is...and it isn't a great place. Children have a very limited perspective. So in his little mind, Mom's work is more important than him getting to school on time.

Well hooray for you! I am so glad your life worked out exactly how you planned it!
That unfortunately is not the case for everyone. Life does happen.
OP- don't sweat it. Just explain to your child that sometimes you have to do things at work so you can pay the bills. He will fine.

 

[KAMKIM]

OP, I think you said it all right there. Usually things work out JUST FINE. And as a single-parent, what choice do you have? You have to work and so you do your best.

Life isn't perfect -- for you, me, our children, anyone. There are always going to be mixups, difficulties, snafus. We all have to learn to cope and accept the ups and downs of life. It's reality.

I'm sure you're doing the best job you can for your family.

-----

For those who were jumping all over the poster who commented about not dropping the ball on your kid. I'm going to back her up a bit. Not in regard to the OP -- but our society in general. I feel that so many kids are getting the short end of the parenting stick. It's sad that we've reached a point where most families feel the need for both parents to work. I really long for the days when there was one parent at home -- for the sake of the kids and for the family, in general. Politicians are now proposing lengthening the school day by three hours in order to cover that "at-risk" time for kids -- the time between school letting out and their parents getting home from work. I think it's just sad we're putting this burden on our kids. Kids getting shipped off to daycare or placed with nannies as infants, extending the school day so that they be supervised properly because parents aren't there. I'm concerned about how this will impact children. So I do share some sentiments of the unpopular PP. If that makes me unpopular, too, then I can't help that, because that's the way I feel.

Try to have a more open mind about parents with 2 incomes, in many cases those two incomes combined dont amount to much.

Up until 2 wks ago when my DH was laid off, we were a 2 income family, and will be again once he gets back to work. It is because I felt the need to give the kids silly things like food and health care..

I personally feel with the job market being the way it is we are at less risk then families with just 1 income - if that person loses their job, then what? Atleast in our case we were not suddenly without any money.

 

[Caropooh]

I've never had a job that was more important than my child. Never.

Which ball are you willing to drop? If it's your child, then you need to make alternate arrangements with a friend or neighbor to make sure your child gets where he needs to be on time.

If it's your job, then you need to schedule meetings when it won't interfere with his normal routine.

Out of curiousity, do you work outside the home? Either way, have you NEVER had a scheduling conflict that interferes with your childs schedule? If that's the case, you are very lucky.

OP, I agree with the others. Your son may have been upset at the time, but I would think that this evening all will be well and good with him. I've beat myself up many times over work/family conflicts. Most of the time, the family doesn't think it's as big of a deal as I do.

 

[SaraJayne]

Dont assume all single moms are single by choice.

I didn't. My mother didn't choose to be a single parent. As a child, when my mother had to miss activities/school events due to work, I was angry and hurt and believed her work was more important than I was ~ as a child.

As an adult, I understand she did what she had to do to keep food on the table and a roof over our heads.

But like I said earlier, children have a very limited perspective when it comes to their parents and the world in general. Hopefully, it was just a blip on his radar and he'll have forgotten by the time he gets home.

 

[themilesfamily]

KAMKIM -- I hear what you're saying.

What I'm questioning is the impact that a society of primarily two-parent working families will have on children. I'm asking, is that the best societal structure for the development of children?

My opinion is no and I think the unpopular PP was expressing frustration at kids getting put second -- behind the parents' work.

It shouldn't take two parents working to provide basics like healthcare and food. And I would like to see politicians work to put back a structure -- and put policies in place -- where a family can live on one parent's income. I think it's better for the children and it's better for families.

I'm not all -- put the women back in the home!!! -- but I think a mother or a dad should have the option to stay home with their children and it's insane that in this country that's becoming financially impossible.

 

[Tracy Savage]

KAMKIM -- I hear what you're saying.

What I'm questioning is the impact that a society of primarily two-parent working families will have on children. I'm asking, is that the best societal structure for the development of children?

My opinion is no and I think the unpopular PP was expressing frustration at kids getting put second -- behind the parents' work.

It shouldn't take two parents working to provide basics like healthcare and food. And I would like to see politicians work to put back a structure -- and put policies in place -- where a family can live on one parent's income. I think it's better for the children and it's better for families.

I'm not all -- put the women back in the home!!! -- but I think a mother or a dad should have the option to stay home with their children and it's insane that in this country that's becoming financially impossible.

I would LOVE to be June Cleaver. !!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

I am not a single working mother and that is mainly due to the fact I was raised by one.

I've been where the OP's son is...and it isn't a great place. Children have a very limited perspective. So in his little mind, Mom's work is more important than him getting to school on time.

So to get back at your mother you have to crap on this OP who clearly already feels bad? Nice...

 

[Disney Doll]

OP, I think you said it all right there. Usually things work out JUST FINE. And as a single-parent, what choice do you have? You have to work and so you do your best.

Life isn't perfect -- for you, me, our children, anyone. There are always going to be mixups, difficulties, snafus. We all have to learn to cope and accept the ups and downs of life. It's reality.

I'm sure you're doing the best job you can for your family.

-----

For those who were jumping all over the poster who commented about not dropping the ball on your kid. I'm going to back her up a bit. Not in regard to the OP -- but our society in general. I feel that so many kids are getting the short end of the parenting stick. It's sad that we've reached a point where most families feel the need for both parents to work. I really long for the days when there was one parent at home -- for the sake of the kids and for the family, in general. Politicians are now proposing lengthening the school day by three hours in order to cover that "at-risk" time for kids -- the time between school letting out and their parents getting home from work. I think it's just sad we're putting this burden on our kids. Kids getting shipped off to daycare or placed with nannies as infants, extending the school day so that they be supervised properly because parents aren't there. I'm concerned about how this will impact children. So I do share some sentiments of the unpopular PP. If that makes me unpopular, too, then I can't help that, because that's the way I feel.

Well, maybe politicians should fix the financial mess alittle quicker so that parents don't have to kill themselves working to provide a home for their families. That would probably be a better use of their time.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

OP - I too am a single mom and have had days like this. My dd is not scarred from it.

Life is not perfect - even the best laid plans can go ary at a moments notice.