What would you do..............? LONG

[Loverly]

The person doing the stealing is the BIL of your best friend's husband-someone you have very limited contact with. You apparently wqant to make a big isssue with it , as you have kept this going for 12 hours.

Because it's a person you really don't see often or have any sort of relationship with, i would drop it. Because it will cause terrible backlash if you tell your Best friend.-Just My Opinion

 

[momrek06]

The person doing the stealing is the BIL of your best friend's husband-someone you have very limited contact with. You apparently wqant to make a big isssue with it , as you have kept this going for 12 hours.

Because it's a person you really don't see often or have any sort of relationship with, i would drop it. Because it will cause terrible backlash if you tell your Best friend.-Just My Opinion

Thank you for clarifying your post, Loverly. A big issue, kept going 12 hours...I have been answering posts as DISer's have offered their opinions and advice which I greatly appreciate. It is really nice to have the CB to come to and vent situations and get feedback.

 

[RadioNate]

There are too many players here!

All I know is one of the guys switched merchandise and the OP is furious that her innocent DH was "involved" because he accompanied the group...and she wants to blow the horn to the wife of the culprit, to explain her DH's not seeing this person again.


I say-drop it.

I agree. This is starting to become a mountain out of a molehill. Your best friend's brother in law, swapped out a fishing reel when he wasn't allowed to exchange it. Really it isn't like he held up the 7-11 at gunpoint with your DH in the car. Yes, it was dishonest and no I wouldn't like it but I also don't think there is manhunt out for the fishing reel swappers.

I'd let it be, I mean really how often do you see your best friend's brother in law? I can't imagine it is all that often all especially since they live several hours away. Why cause trouble between your friend and her DH AND between her and her employer?

 

[MareQ]

Hey Paigey ...I am just so conflicted about this.....a situation with my BFF of 35+ years and her DH and his 2 DBros....have caused. A situation that should have never happened and to involve innocent people like my DH who had NO idea this was even going to go this way.

Don't forget your husband - there were 4 men involved.....

 

[LanaJayne]

Are you sure that this was a new one that was taken and not the one that was being trying to be returned? It would be awful to judge if the man was just putting the original one into his pocket since it couldn't be returned.

 

[LanaJayne]

Could your husband offer the make the return-exchange of the rod/reel and see what he says?

 

[famofsix]

I still can't believe the OP's Dh did not say anything to them after the fact.

It is true what they did was clearly wrong. I think if they had purchased and made an exchange with the "swap" it would still be wrong but in some sense easier to wrap my brain around.

Perhaps OP, your DH could just tell the theives he is still in unbelief that they would swap the reel after they were told the store policy. He should explain that they put him in in awful position if they had been caught and that he is angry and see what happens after that.

When posters tell you to drop it you post this------> Are you confused about that?

They are telling you to drop it because it really is something your DH should have addressed right away with the theives.

 

[momrek06]

Don't forget your husband - there were 4 men involved.....

I would say there were three men involved and one innocent bystander!

Are you sure that this was a new one that was taken and not the one that was being trying to be returned? It would be awful to judge if the man was just putting the original one into his pocket since it couldn't be returned.

DH said the three of them were discussing it on the way to the after party and how this is now settled with the one BIL now having the right handed reel.

I still can't believe the OP's Dh did not say anything to them after the fact.

It is true what they did was clearly wrong. I think if they had purchased and made an exchange with the "swap" it would still be wrong but in some sense easier to wrap my brain around.

Perhaps OP, your DH could just tell the theives he is still in unbelief that they would swap the reel after they were told the store policy. He should explain that they put him in in awful position if they had been caught and that he is angry and see what happens after that.

When posters tell you to drop it you post this------> Are you confused about that?

They are telling you to drop it because it really is something your DH should have addressed right away with the theives.

I believe that if someone feels the whole situation I posted or when any DISer posts a situation on the CB should be dropped....then why bother even coming to the thread.

I have greatly appreciated hearing from all those DISer's that have taken the time to read and post their thoughts/comments/advice and I have tried to respond to most of them. :

 

[MareQ]

I would say there were three men involved and one innocent bystander!

He is not innocent at all and it is honestly puzzling that you believe he is and you're judging the other 3 men so harshly and not your DH. Your husband stood there and watched them steal something. He then said and did NOTHING to stop it to to try and make it right. He allowed it to happen. As much as you want to think your DH did nothing wrong - that is just not the case here.

 

[momrek06]

He is not innocent at all and it is honestly puzzling that you believe he is and you're judging the other 3 men so harshly and not your DH. Your husband stood there and watched them steal something. He then said and did NOTHING to stop it to to try and make it right. He allowed it to happen. As much as you want to think your DH did nothing wrong - that is just not the case here.

To walk away from a confrontation the Store Clerk and three men are having over their return policy to do some shopping and return to witness the actions of the three stealing the reel (from a distance) and leave with them because he came with them makes him as guilty as those that actually did the deed??
I am judging them harshly because I, as well as DH are shocked that these three at age 50+ were told NO and went ahead and did what they wanted in a store that BFF is employed in....I am just stunned and disgusted. I guess no one has a conscience anymore. So, DH is a thief now.....hmm! I guess I need to think about that some more.

 

[famofsix]

I never implied you can't post on the community board or make more comments OP I guess I am not welcome to post my opinion here.

I am saying a lot of posters gave the advice to drop the situation with your DH and the theives.... not stop posting....I would love to hear what your DH says to the theives but I suspect he is just gonna let you fester about it instead.

Oh and I bothered to come to the thread because you asked what I would do and I would drop it since it is out of my circle of control.

 

[Abbie]

How hard would it have been to simply purchase the right-handed rod and reel combo he needed and return the left-handed one (along with the proper rod) at another time? Especially since the DBFF (took me forever to figure that one out!) works there full-time, I imagine she could have painlessly made the return for him at any point, or exchanged it for the right one.

It's kind of a gray area whether he really stole something or just did the "exchange" himself because he didn't like store policy. Either way I think he was dead wrong (now they are stuck with a rod/reel combo they can't sell mismatched) and it really, really makes me laugh to think he'll get that reel home and find it can't be used with the left-handed rod! Karma at its best. And good luck returning THAT combo!

 

[MareQ]

To walk away from a confrontation the Store Clerk and three men are having over their return policy to do some shopping and return to witness the actions of the three stealing the reel (from a distance) and leave with them because he came with them makes him as guilty as those that actually did the deed??
I am judging them harshly because I, as well as DH are shocked that these three at age 50+ were told NO and went ahead and did what they wanted in a store that BFF is employed in....I am just stunned and disgusted. I guess no one has a conscience anymore. So, DH is a thief now.....hmm! I guess I need to think about that some more.

Yes - he is guilty as well and I am puzzled as to why you and HE cannot see that is is an "accessory" to the crime here.

What if he witnessed one of your children stealing something? Would he not say anything at all to your child, allow your child to steal something and allow them to walk out with the stolen item? Would he then be furious at your child for behaving in an inapproprate manner and not see how wrong he was for allowing your child to break the law?

I just don't see how you can claim these men don't have a conscience and you don't acknowledge that your husband's conscience was missing that day as well. EVERYBODY involved made mistakes that day - some bigger than other's but your husband's mistake was in not trying to deflect the situation. He just stood there and allowed it!

You know how the saying goes - People in glass houses......

 

[momrek06]

I never implied you can't post on the community board or make more comments OP I guess I am not welcome to post my opinion here.

I am saying a lot of posters gave the advice to drop the situation with your DH and the theives.... not stop posting....I would love to hear what your DH says to the theives but I suspect he is just gonna let you fester about it instead.

Oh and I bothered to come to the thread because you asked what I would do and I would drop it since it is out of my circle of control.

Posting this thread I was looking for thoughts/comments/advice and when I see the words "drop it" I read it as though "OP, you have enough advice here move on". "Drop it" is not something I have ever told the OP of any thread. As I said, I have appreciated all the advice that I have received.

 

[famofsix]

all righty, cuz normally when someone asks me what I would do they don't try to ask me not to bother coming to the thread when I post an opposing point of view thoughts/comments/advice. For the record, I never implied that you OP should stop posting about the situation. I merely suggested that since your DH did nothing after leaving the store or at the party it is too late to do anything so I would drop it with him.

I think you have misunderstood the words Drop it

Good luck with your DH's problem thievery problem

 

[BratTink]

I have followed this thread over the past few days. I bet your friend already knows what they did. I would be really surprised if they all kept their mouths shut and it didn't get back to her either directly or indirectly.

I'd probably tell her, but make a joke out of it. I would not tell her that my husband refuses to ever see these men again as you don't really see them anyway and aren't going to the wedding so its not a big deal. If you tell with an accusatory tone she will get mad and defend herself. If you joke, you can get your point across that it was not cool.

 

[NYBlue1]

I dont know if I read over this but did they leave the old reel there?

 

[mickeyfan2]

To walk away from a confrontation the Store Clerk and three men are having over their return policy to do some shopping and return to witness the actions of the three stealing the reel (from a distance) and leave with them because he came with them makes him as guilty as those that actually did the deed??
I am judging them harshly because I, as well as DH are shocked that these three at age 50+ were told NO and went ahead and did what they wanted in a store that BFF is employed in....I am just stunned and disgusted. I guess no one has a conscience anymore. So, DH is a thief now.....hmm! I guess I need to think about that some more.

Your DH saw them do it and did nothing. Then he left with them. You said it was only a few miles back to the shower and that your son was also there. At the least your DH should have refused to leave with them and called your son for pick him up. He would be innocent them. A witness yes, but not an accomplice. He is not innocent now but an accomplice.