What would you do..............? LONG

[momrek06]

DH& I traveled an hour yesterday to attend my DBFF's DD's bridal shower. The shower was 12-3pm. After the shower spouses, so, bf's could all come to the location of the shower (bride's bff's parents) for a party that would continue until evening. DH dropped me off for the shower and met up with my DBFF's DH until the after party.

DH met up with DBFF's DH and two of his DBro's (as their wives were at the shower as well)(DH & I really do not know these DBros all that well, they live a distance away and rarely see them).

The 4 guys all decided to go shopping at Bass Pro @ Gillette Stadium. One of the DBro's was returning a fishing reel. He had purchased it a few months ago and turns out it was a left-handed reel instead of right-handed. He wanted to exchange it. Bass Pro said to him he needed to bring in the entire FISHING POLE that the reel was attached to. My DH was observing all of this, he said the one DBro was arguing with the BP Clerk over the fact he could not return JUST the reel. Store policy.

DH was looking around the store as this was going on. He notices the 3 Brothers over at the fishing poles. DH begins to head towards them when all of a sudden he notices the one DBro (who was attempting to exchange the reel unsuccessfully) REMOVE from a fishing pole a right handed reel that he wanted and put it in his pocket, the 3 turn around and signal to DH they are ready to leave. DH was stunned. This JERK just STOLE this REEL.

AND one interesting point is that my DBFF works at BP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All the way home in the car my DH is DISGUSTED. Absolutely DISGUSTED. Behavior like that is HORRID. Let me tell all DISer's reading this we are all 50+ years old. Everyone of them is a PROFESSIONAL in their field of work as we are and this just is INTOLERABLE.

Should I tell my DBFF about this situation???? What are your thoughts on this???? The wives of these DBro's are absolutely LOVELY. They are the nicest, sweetest ladies and I enjoy their company the few times DBFF has any type of family get together.

Do I just say nothing? My DH said to me last night he basically wants nothing more to do with them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

For starters, I do not know what a DBFF is....

 

[momrek06]

For starters, I do not know what a DBFF is....

DEAR BEST FRIEND FOREVER!!! :

 

[daisax]

So did he ever mention his disapproval to the guy directly? If he didn't, now you're in the position of "tattling."

If I read it correctly, it's either the bride's brother or future inlaw who did the stealing? I'd keep the friendship on a female level, and if she wonders why your DH doesn't want to hang out with the guys, THEN I'd tell her.

Now if it was the groom to be, that would be a tougher situation and in that case, yes, I'd tell the mother of the bride, knowing, unfortunately, that it might ruin our friendship. But the bride to be would deserve to know what she was getting.

The thief put all the men that were with him in a terrible situation -- your DH might have been rounded up with him had he been caught. And his defense would have been "I didn't do anything, I just watched him steal"?

 

[TaraPA]

UGH! I agree with the OP that you could be seen as a "tattler" rather than the good friend trying to do something about an illegal situation. I'm so disgusted that these middle aged profeesional men felt ENTITLED to do this because they didn't agree with store policy. It makes me wonder what else they do when they don't get their own way? That is disgusting & they should pay, BUT do you want your friendship to suffer if a) your DBFF for whatever reason decides not to believe you; or b)the guys who did the stealing insist they didn't, that your DH is a liar, etc. - then that relationship is strained too. You're between a rock & a hard place. My gut tells me that you should stay out of it but DEFINITELY cut off ties between DH & those guys! Is there any way to report it to the store anonymously? I guess not, at this point you can't prove anything. Unless the store has security cameras (many do) & wants to take a look & take it from there. Good luck!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

DEAR BEST FRIEND FOREVER!!! :

So your DBFF works at Bass Pro and her brother stole a reel from there?

 

[TaraPA]

So your DBFF works at Bass Pro and her brother stole a reel from there?

I read it as DBFF's DH's brother. A THIEF in any case.

 

[momrek06]

So did he ever mention his disapproval to the guy directly? No, my DH said nothing. Got in the car and headed to the after party. If he didn't, now you're in the position of "tattling." This is exactly the situation.

If I read it correctly, it's either the bride's brother it is the Bride's uncle, (Bride's dad's brother). or future inlaw who did the stealing? I'd keep the friendship on a female level, and if she wonders why your DH doesn't want to hang out with the guys, THEN I'd tell her.

Now if it was the groom to be (no) that would be a tougher situation and in that case, yes, I'd tell the mother of the bride, knowing, unfortunately, that it might ruin our friendship. But the bride to be would deserve to know what she was getting.

The thief put all the men that were with him in a terrible situation -- your DH might have been rounded up with him had he been caught. And his defense would have been "I didn't do anything, I just watched him steal"?

I asked DH if he realizes that there are most likely cameras all over that store. He agreed but it seems now that this DBro got AWAY with it.

 

[momrek06]

So your DBFF works at Bass Pro and her brother stole a reel from there?

YES!! She has a 40% discount. This DBro of her DH came to BP and bought this fishing pole/reel at XMAS time. DBFF used her discount. This DBro lives 2.5 hours from DBFF hence only now getting a chance to return it.


EDITED TO ADD: DBFF's Brother-in-law.

 

[Shutterbug]

I am kind of surprised store security cameras didnt pick this up.

 

[momrek06]

I am kind of surprised store security cameras didnt pick this up.

When I did indeed say that to DH he said that yesterday that store was JAMMED PACKED. This is a brand new store. BEAUTIFUL. There is nothing like this in New England besides LLBEAN which is 4 hours North. DH said being a rainy, cloudy, nasty cold day EVERYONE in MA decided to shop at BP. He is thinking that may be the only reason it was NOT caught. BP just opened right at Xmas time.

 

[jonestavern]

Wow! Like others have said, pretty risky behavior. I don't think anyone would blame your DH for not wanting to have anything to do with those guys.

Kar, I don't know what I'd do. I think I'd agree with daisax

daisax:
So did he ever mention his disapproval to the guy directly? If he didn't, now you're in the position of "tattling."

If I read it correctly, it's either the bride's brother or future inlaw who did the stealing? I'd keep the friendship on a female level, and if she wonders why your DH doesn't want to hang out with the guys, THEN I'd tell her.

Now if it was the groom to be, that would be a tougher situation and in that case, yes, I'd tell the mother of the bride, knowing, unfortunately, that it might ruin our friendship. But the bride to be would deserve to know what she was getting.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

YES!! She has a 40% discount. This DBro of her DH came to BP and bought this fishing pole/reel at XMAS time. DBFF used her discount. This DBro lives 2.5 hours from DBFF hence only now getting a chance to return it.

Yea well they are all partners in crime, including the DH, he was there, right, encouraging it?

Now would I tell? Probably. My DH's integrity is worth far more than some thief.

If my DBFF wants to ditch me for it then I guess she really isn't a DBFF. That is when you find out if the cute label you put on your friend is true.

A friend is someone who can handle the bad as well as the good.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would just mind my business and not be a tattletale. I see no point in telling anyone about it, its not like they would turn around and take it back or anything!!

 

[momrek06]

I am so confused. DH is FIRM though....he is basically saying DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN ANY ACTIVTIES INVOLVING THEM ANYMORE......?????

I think I should wait it out.

It just bothers me so much this type of BEHAVIOR. I am just disgusted and shocked as was DH. I actually had him explain this story to me THREE times on the ride home as I was just not understanding exactly what he was saying to me.....but he was saying this JERK is a THIEF. We both do not want to be in the company of thieves EVER.

 

[sha_lyn]

Yea well they are all partners in crime, including the DH, he was there, right, encouraging it?

No where did I read that her DH was encouraging the guy to steal the reel.
If he was encouraging it, why would he tell the OP how disgusted he was and that he didn't want to be around the guy anymore?

 

[OceanAnnie]

I would just mind my business and not be a tattletale. I see no point in telling anyone about it, its not like they would turn around and take it back or anything!!

I agree with this. I can't see anything good coming from telling. It will ruin a number of relationships. It could ruin careers, reputations. I know, you weren't the one that stole and they would get what they deserve. But you would be sucked into it with the family and friends. Lots of ill feelings to go around, is what I foresee.

I'd just avoid the men like your DH stated.

 

[momrek06]

No where did I read that her DH was encouraging the guy to steal the reel.
If he was encouraging it, why would he tell the OP how disgusted he was and that he didn't want to be around the guy anymore?

Thanks, sha-lyn, for clarify that...NO, my DH walked away as they were arguing with the BP clerk over store policy. DH returned to the area and as he is approaching all three of them at the fishing poles against the wall, he notes this one bro exchanging the reels and putting the one he wanted in his pocket. The deed was done. And then the 3 bros signaled to my DH that they were leaving the store.

So this was my best friend's husband and his 2 brothers all in on this illegal activity.

 

[sha_lyn]

I just don't get the "tattletale" answer from some of the posters.
We are aren't talking about a 6 yr old whining because someone is looking at them ore something. We are talking about 3 grown men who committed a crime.

momrek06...... Is your husband refusing to go to the wedding? If so, I think you owe your friend an explanation. If you don't feel it is your place to "tattle" on her DH and his brothers, you should at least tell her that you DH is upset over something that happened that day. You should not leave her feeling like she has somehow caused a rift in the friendship.

 

[daisax]

DH returned to the area and as he is approaching all three of them at the fishing poles against the wall, he notes this one bro exchanging the reels and putting the one he wanted in his pocket. The deed was done. And then the 3 bros signaled to my DH that they were leaving the store.

So this was my best friend's husband and his 2 brothers all in on this illegal activity.

If that had been observed on security tapes and the police called, he would have been considered a co-conspirator (looking at them while they did it, then leaving with them, especially after being given a "signal.")

I don't blame him for not reacting on the spot -- I can't imagine what might have happened if he made a scene. Even if they'd put it back, they could have been caught at THAT point.

How long ago was this? Because he may not be out of the woods yet. If they notice the now incomplete rod and go over their video footage, especially if they suspect/remember the fuss made over the return, they could all still be on the hook (pardon the pun) for this.