What would you do if your teen daughter became pregnant???

[WeluvDisney2]

Right and many people are of the opinion that terminating an unplanned pregnacy IS taking responsiblity for their actions.

And many other people are not of that opinion. They just do not post it here for fear of some others jumping all over them.
Let's just hope that none of our daughters ever have to make that decision.
That being said, I think I will now move on to another thread before this gets nasty. Bye!

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Oh so sorry to bore you with such trifling details as girls being butchered by unsafe abortions.

I have to ask: was a gun pointed to their head forcing them to go to the butchers??

 

[slo]

If my one of my girls came home pregnant at 15, I would have so many emotions. I would be disappointed because she is having a baby so young and not finishing being a child herself. But after that feeling wore off, I would be looking forward to meeting my new grandchild.

I love my girls so much that I couldn't imagine ever being seperated from them because of anger. I would support my girls in their decision to keep the baby or give the baby up for adoption, but I would have a hard time supporting abortion.

If my DD decided to keep the baby, it would be made very clear to her that I am not raising my grandchild. I would be happy to babysit when she needed to work or go to school. But I would not raise my grandchild so she can go on continuing to do young teenage activities. In my opinion, the minute she decided to have unprotected relations with someone, she immediately decided that she is a grown person and can handle the results of her actions.

People say to me, you feel that way now, how do you know you will feel that way then. I truly believe I would because I couldn't live with myself if my DD would run away and then I would possibly never see her again or my grandbaby. I'm hoping my DD will keep herself so busy in activities that she will not put herself in the situation of getting pregnant. If she does put herself in this position, then I hope she is smart enough to use protection.

 

[chobie]

I have to ask: was a gun pointed to their head forcing them to go to the butchers??

Would it make a difference to you if they did?

 

[MerryPoppins]

Let me start out by saying I'm pro-choice. I understand that some people feel that abortion would be the best choice and I'm not against that. So please don't take what I'm going to say the wrong way. I'm not saying I'm wrong and you are right. I'm talking about what would have been right FOR ME.

Having said that, my DH is adopted and I've met his birth-mother. I know what a gift that can be. Personally, I know I could have never ended one of my pregnancies, so I wouldn't suggest that for my DD15. I would MUCH rather have given my child away, knowing it would go to a loving home that wanted it very much. I personally feel that would be the most selfless thing in most cases, but also very difficult.

If my DD came to me, I'd hug her. I'd probably cry and then try to calm down my DH. Then we'd discuss all the options (including abortion) in a calm manner and we'd support her in her decision.

And yes, I would help raise my grandchild. I believe you take lemons and make lemonade. Would I let her do everything teens normally do while I did all the work? No. But I would share the responsibility if she was young. Everyone makes mistakes, but I'd want to make being a mother real enough that she wouldn't make the same mistake again.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Would it make a difference to you if they did?

My point is did they have to go to a butcher??

 

[vivilasvegas]

Hate to break it to you, but not all babies get adopted!!! You guys are acting like every baby that is given up for adoption is sent to a great loving home, and it's the best thing you can ever do for your unborn child.

A lot of children don't get adopted, and lead very hard lives.

Like I said earlier, it comes down to if you believe life begins at conception or not. If not, an abortion is the "unselfish" act.

 

[chobie]

My point is did they have to go to a butcher??

I'm sure many they felt they had not other choice based on their individual circumstances, which of course we have no way of knowing, which makes it really hard to judge them unless you have an absolute belief that abortion is always wrong, and if you do think that than there is no reason to even pursue this line of questioning.

 

[lyeag]

Lyeag--> do we have the same parents? i could seriously be writing all your posts! i'm glad my parents were the way they were, it helped me to grow up to be the responsible preson that i am today! Happily married with 2 babies!! I will raise my children the same way i'm sure of it. I have never harbored any ill feelings towards my parents.

Glad to know I am not the only one with that type of parents. Looking back, I am glad they were the way they were. I love my parents very much and only wish they could have lived longer to see I turned out ok.

Here's one for you. I got my first flat tire on my car. It was a slow leak that went down in the garage. I told my dad and he went to the car, got out the manual and handed it to me. He then got down a lawn chair, grabbed a beer and said- Go ahead, you drive it, you take care of it. (He did help me with the lugnuts a little though.)

 

[In a hurry]

Hate to break it to you, but not all babies get adopted!!! You guys are acting like every baby that is given up for adoption is sent to a great loving home, and it's the best thing you can ever do for your unborn child.

A lot of children don't get adopted, and lead very hard lives.

Like I said earlier, it comes down to if you believe life begins at conception or not. If not, an abortion is the "unselfish" act.

Maybe not where you live, but you can't even get a special needs kid with sibs in our state...let alone a baby. Maybe we ought to get our states together!

Per your second statement, I respectfully disagree. I don't necessarily agree with person=conception, but I am adamently against 2nd term abortions. Circumstances affect opinions. My daughter was born at 23 weeks. She was most def. a person whe had a personality and could feel pain. She knew when I was in the NICU, and when I wasn't.

Not all in life is so cut and dried.

 

[vivilasvegas]

Maybe not where you live, but you can't even get a special needs kid with sibs in our state...let alone a baby. Maybe we ought to get our states together!

Per your second statement, I respectfully disagree. I don't necessarily agree with person=conception, but I am adamently against 2nd term abortions. Circumstances affect opinions. My daughter was born at 23 weeks. She was most def. a person whe had a personality and could feel pain. She knew when I was in the NICU, and when I wasn't.

Not all in life is so cut and dried.

Come to Chicago and see all the inner city babies ---actually some are teens---waiting for a loving family.

and I'm not speaking of late-term abortions. There are people who believe that the embryo is not yet a life in the beginning of the pregnancy.

 

[Caropooh]

I agree with you. I was actually setting it up as abortion vs. keeping the baby. Was not using adoption as an option, although it certainly is.

I got pregnant at 18, gave birth at 19 in 1980. The father (who is now my husband) and I gave the child up for adoption. It was a very hard, but very easy decision. I knew that I wasn't ready to raise him and that there were many couples out there that were. I can't say that I regret it, but I often wonder about him. We had been told that he was developmentally disabled, but I have no idea to what degree.
I know that I disappointed my parents greatly becoming pregnant, but that they never stopped loving me. We never really talked about if they would support me.(they were divorced, so it would of been my Mother more) I think it was always assumed that we would just give him up for adoption.
My DH and I did get married 4 years later and have 2 wonderful DD's. I hope that someday, when they get older and can understand it all, we will tell them about our 1st child.
I think after what I went through, if either of my DD"s came home and told us they were pregnant, we would support them fully in keeping the child.

 

[In a hurry]

Come to Chicago and see all the inner city babies ---actually some are teens---waiting for a loving family.

and I'm not speaking of late-term abortions.

I agree with teens. They are an issue here too. I just wanted to clarify why even my view (an maybe someone else's) might not be cut in stone for abortion. I didn't mean to come off as offensive.

 

[vivilasvegas]

I agree with teens. They are an issue here too. I just wanted to clarify why even my view (an maybe someone else's) might not be cut in stone for abortion. I didn't mean to come off as offensive.

No, not offensive. I tried to clarify my thought process a little more in my last post, but I think I edited it after you read it.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Hate to break it to you, but not all babies get adopted!!! You guys are acting like every baby that is given up for adoption is sent to a great loving home, and it's the best thing you can ever do for your unborn child.

A lot of children don't get adopted, and lead very hard lives.

Like I said earlier, it comes down to if you believe life begins at conception or not. If not, an abortion is the "unselfish" act.

A lot of teen mothers keep their children and have very hard lives and grow up in awful homes too.

 

[vivilasvegas]

A lot of teen mothers keep their children and have very hard lives and grow up in awful homes too.

I'm not sure I get your point as opposed to my point?

 

[Cindyluwho]

A question for all of you who have stated that you would stand behind your daughter's decision to keep the child. Have you, or would you, make sure that your daughter understands that it is not socially acceptable to have a baby out of wedlock? I mean, I know accidents happen and that some teenagers choose to keep the baby but when did it become OK or mainstream? My DD12 knows exactly where we stand on this issue. I would hope that it would never even enter her mind to keep a baby when she was just a kid herself. If she did, well that would be her decision. It'd be time for a job, taking care of a baby, etc certainly an end to childhood. Not that we wouldn't help in a pinch but I'm not going raise a baby for my child.

 

[mtemm]

A question for all of you who have stated that you would stand behind your daughter's decision to keep the child. Have you, or would you, make sure that your daughter understands that it is not socially acceptable to have a baby out of wedlock? I mean, I know accidents happen and that some teenagers choose to keep the baby but when did it become OK or mainstream? My DD12 knows exactly where we stand on this issue. I would hope that it would never even enter her mind to keep a baby when she was just a kid herself. If she did, well that would be her decision. It'd be time for a job, taking care of a baby, etc certainly an end to childhood. Not that we wouldn't help in a pinch but I'm not going raise a baby for my child.

Would I paint a scarlet A on her chest? absolutely not. what would be the point of branding her, making her feel socially unacceptable? to stop her from procreating again? I would hope that she hadn't gotten pg on purpose and there would definitely be discussion about that and about future prevention.

honestly I don't know what I would do. my eldest son is 4 and my other son and daughter are 2. I hope I would stand by and help them to the best of my ability, whether it mean abortion or continuing the pregnancy. If that means helping to raise the child then that would be what it took. As long as my son or daughter were in school and heading towards a goal that would lead to them to financial independence/ability to raise their baby...who would be my grandbaby. And honestly I would have a very hard time if they gave the baby up for adoption. I would hope it would go to a good home, should she/he choose that, but I would always have a lingering doubt and a lingering fear that they didn't.

I think one of the problems I have with your statement is that I don't think it is wrong to have a baby out of wedlock. As long as that person is an adult and able to care for the infant herself, out of wedlock or in wedlock shouldn't make a difference. So it would be less the out of wedlock part and more the fact that they are a teen and not equipped to take care of a baby.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

A question for all of you who have stated that you would stand behind your daughter's decision to keep the child. Have you, or would you, make sure that your daughter understands that it is not socially acceptable to have a baby out of wedlock? I mean, I know accidents happen and that some teenagers choose to keep the baby but when did it become OK or mainstream? My DD12 knows exactly where we stand on this issue. I would hope that it would never even enter her mind to keep a baby when she was just a kid herself. If she did, well that would be her decision. It'd be time for a job, taking care of a baby, etc certainly an end to childhood. Not that we wouldn't help in a pinch but I'm not going raise a baby for my child.

First off, who said there wasn't going to be a marriage? But, you never know.

And Social Acceptance is about the least of the problems young parents have.

I'd do everything I could to help my child get through school and my grandchild have happy first years. If that meant having them live in my house for a while, then so be it. Even better, actually, because I think young mothers need even more guidance with babies...not that we all didn't, no matter what the age! Like I said before, worse things could happen to our family than a new baby to love.

But everyone is different. Lots of young moms get tossed out on the street by their parents, you sure wouldn't be the first.

 

[Cindyluwho]

I think one of the problems I have with your statement is that I don't think it is wrong to have a baby out of wedlock. As long as that person is an adult and able to care for the infant herself, out of wedlock or in wedlock shouldn't make a difference. So it would be less the out of wedlock part and more the fact that they are a teen and not equipped to take care of a baby.

I apologize for not being more clear. I do not think it's wrong to have a child out of wedlock if you are financially stable and/or equipped to take care of a baby. Teenagers though, not acceptable at all to me. The odds are staggering regarding the financial futures of women who have children when they are teenagers, it's very scary. But I make sure my daughter knows that now at age 12. I'm not waiting until she gets pregnant to share my opinion with her.