What would you do if your teen daughter became pregnant???

[lyeag]

That was uncalled for, CathrynRose. Many previous posters have shared stories of early pregnancies that turned out to be, for them, blessings in disguise, as they termed it. My point was that this wouldn't be that kind of situation for me. No amount of finding a silver lining would negate the feelings of disappointment and sadness I would feel if this were to happen to my daughter. I'm glad other posters have been able to have those feelings, and to think that their pregnancies worked out for the best, but it's not how I would ever act.

It would have been awful if my mother had ever seen a teenage prenancy happen to one of my girls. She came from a time when "nice girls" didn't get pregnant and it would have devastated her. It might have been something she could eventually have learned to accept, but it would have been far better not to happen in the first place.

And while I think your repsonse about me being a joy to tell was sarcastic and mean-spirited, I don't think any mom on this thread would be able to appear calm and happy under these circumstances, so I'm not sure if anyone could meet your standard.

I believe strongly in abortion rights, I think a teen daughter of mine would absolutely want an abortion, and I would definitely recommend she have one.

My mom would have been the same way. I was told not to come home if I were to get pregnant. My parents loved me, but they told me if I were to make a decision to have sex that I would be solely responsible for those consequences. They were big on responsiblity and I am pretty sure they would have followed through with their threats.

Would I be the same way? Most likely not, but I would expect that I would not want my child to have an abortion. I would try to steer her away from it as much as possible. I wouldn't make the choice for her, but I wouldn't want her to see abortion as the only way to come through the situation.

 

[DVCLiz]

Yes, but nice girls who did get pregnant definately did not have abortions. I know I will get flammed for this... but, just my opinion.

No flames from me, but really, don't you think plenty of "nice girls" had abortions?? It would seem to me that if a "nice girl" had a doctor for a daddy, there were probably plenty of abortions performed, even if they were illegal.

I don't know much about the history of abortion - mostly just the back alley horror stories. I suspect, though, that some girls had access to medical services. Plenty of "nice girls" went to visit their aunts for a year, though. What I don't know is how many kept their babies in those days. Not many, I suspect.

I'm keeping "nice girls" in quotes because it obviously represents a broad stereotype - it's really not a moral judgement on my part. Plenty of girls who drank and smoked and had sex were "nice girls".

 

[cardaway]

Yes, but nice girls who did get pregnant definately did not have abortions. I know I will get flammed for this... but, just my opinion.

True. Many were simply told how to make a miscarriage more "likely".

 

[Freyja]

My mom would have been the same way. I was told not to come home if I were to get pregnant. My parents loved me, but they told me if I were to make a decision to have sex that I would be solely responsible for those consequences. They were big on responsiblity and I am pretty sure they would have followed through with their threats.

My parents were the same way, UNTIL I got pregnant. When they realized the facts, they were very supportive. That being said, we still had to take full responsibility of almost everything, and never would have wanted it any other way. We were given the opportunity to live in an apartment they owned while we were still in highschool and were very greatful for that. But apart from that, we were "on our own" and I believe that´s the best thing they could do.

 

[WeluvDisney2]

No flames from me, but really, don't you think plenty of "nice girls" had abortions?? It would seem to me that if a "nice girl" had a doctor for a daddy, there were probably plenty of abortions performed, even if they were illegal.

I don't know much about the history of abortion - mostly just the back alley horror stories. I suspect, though, that some girls had access to medical services. Plenty of "nice girls" went to visit their aunts for a year, though. What I don't know is how many kept their babies in those days. Not many, I suspect.

I'm keeping "nice girls" in quotes because it obviously represents a broad stereotype - it's really not a moral judgement on my part. Plenty of girls who drank and smoked and had sex were "nice girls".

I was just responding to your statement that your mother believed that "nice girls" did not get pregnant. Yes, we all know that nice girls sometimes DO get pregnant, but an abortion does not make the fact that she got prenant just go away.

 

[WeluvDisney2]

True. Many were simply told how to make a miscarriage more "likely".

And many took responsibility for their actions and unselfishly gave their child up for adoption even if it was not the "easiest" solution. Again...

 

[FionaLovesShrek]

No flames from me, but really, don't you think plenty of "nice girls" had abortions?? It would seem to me that if a "nice girl" had a doctor for a daddy, there were probably plenty of abortions performed, even if they were illegal.

I don't know much about the history of abortion - mostly just the back alley horror stories. I suspect, though, that some girls had access to medical services. Plenty of "nice girls" went to visit their aunts for a year, though. What I don't know is how many kept their babies in those days. Not many, I suspect.

I'm keeping "nice girls" in quotes because it obviously represents a broad stereotype - it's really not a moral judgement on my part. Plenty of girls who drank and smoked and had sex were "nice girls".

I agree. I worked in a day surgery unit several years ago. We had a "nice girl" come in, I was to prep her for out patient surgery. She came in as a Jane Doe because her parents were very influencial in the town and she was Catholic. The MD was the only GYN in town at the time who did abortions. Was I shocked she was having an abortion? Yes. She was sweet and shy and well dressed and just one of those girls you never would have thought would get pregnant outside of marriage. She told me her boyfriend didn't even know. She seemed very embarrassed. Both her parents were with her. Hormones happen and teenagers just don't think through to the consequences clearly.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

If my teen dd got pregnant, I would:

Be angry
Try and calm down my dh
Cry
Be angry again
Cry some more....
Accept it and and let her know that I still love her. I would support her as much as I could.

 

[DVCLiz]

I was just responding to your statement that your mother believed that "nice girls" did not get pregnant. Yes, we all know that nice girls sometimes DO get pregnant, but an abortion does not make the fact that she got prenant just go away.

Oh, I see - thanks. I wasn't disagreeing with you!!

No, an abortion doesn't make the fact of the pregnancy ever change, but it certainly does take care of the immediate issue, which is whether or not to continue with a pregnancy.

 

[lyeag]

My parents were the same way, UNTIL I got pregnant. When they realized the facts, they were very supportive. That being said, we still had to take full responsibility of almost everything, and never would have wanted it any other way. We were given the opportunity to live in an apartment they owned while we were still in highschool and were very greatful for that. But apart from that, we were "on our own" and I believe that´s the best thing they could do.

I am glad your parents changed their stance. My mother was very hard core. She threw my sister out for much less than getting pregnant. She put everything she owned in trash bags and put them at the end of the driveway just after my sister turned 18. She called my sister at her friend's house and told her if she wanted her things she had better get there before the garbage truck came.

I am pretty sure that her threats about pregnancy were not going to change. We were also told not to call home if we were ever arrested, and when I was, I didn't call home. (underage drinking) I was able to take care of everything on my own, and if my parents ever knew, they never said a word to me.

 

[vivilasvegas]

I am glad your parents changed their stance. My mother was very hard core. She threw my sister out for much less than getting pregnant. She put everything she owned in trash bags and put them at the end of the driveway just after my sister turned 18. She called my sister at her friend's house and told her if she wanted her things she had better get there before the garbage truck came.

I am pretty sure that her threats about pregnancy were not going to change. We were also told not to call home if we were ever arrested, and when I was, I didn't call home. (underage drinking) I was able to take care of everything on my own, and if my parents ever knew, they never said a word to me.

that reminds me of my dad! I was picked up for curfew once and I was 16!!!! my parents knew where I was, so I thought I wouldnt' be in trouble. Well, when my dad got to the police station...you would have thought I murdered a nun.

If something embarasses my father, he explodes.

he would never have understood a teenage pregnancy and would have been humiliated, and quite frankly, i would have taken care of everything myself and never told my dad about it.

by the way, I love my dad!

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

DisneyMomx7>>THis will sound even more harsh - but I've raised all my kids and I have no intention of starting all over and raising grandchildren. I would still love my child no matter what and would support their decision but I would not take on the responsibility of raising another child. Just my honest opinion.
__________________

I agree with this 100% even though my children are only babies right now, but when they are older and if the situtation arises. I am here for emotional support no matter what they decide but I am not here to raise another child and DH and i are not there to financially assist them if they are not trying to do anything for themselves.

 

[Feralpeg]

May I ask, have any of you who would "strongly encourage" abortion as an option, ever actually had an abortion? Now, I know that is an extremely personal question, and I don't expect an answer really. That's your business. My point is you can't possibly know the repercussions of having one unless you've lived it. Safe and legal, I agree but not undamaging.

Believe me, I am completely pro-choice. I have no issue with anyone who wants to avail themselves of this option. My opinion of them would not change one bit. But I would want to be honest about what happens after...it isn't just a magical fix that makes it "like it never happened". I used to think it was, and I'm sure most teens think it is, but it's not. And while it is a valid option, it carries as much baggage as the other options, believe me.

Yes, I did. It was at a time in my life that I was not prepared emotionally or financially to care for a child. I have never regretted it. Ironically, when I was ready to have a child, I had to have artificial insemination from a donor. I also do not regret that.

 

[salmoneous]

I'd be calling the church and the papers. First virgin birth in over 2000 years.

 

[vivilasvegas]

I'd be calling the church and the papers. First virgin birth in over 2000 years.

 

[Feralpeg]

I'd be calling the church and the papers. First virgin birth in over 2000 years.

Excuse me?

 

[vivilasvegas]

Excuse me?

I don't think that post is for you. I think it means that there is no
way his/her daughter would be having sex, so it must be immaculate conception!!

 

[DVCLiz]

And many took responsibility for their actions and unselfishly gave their child up for adoption even if it was not the "easiest" solution. Again...

With all due respect, your post implies that any option other than adoption is irresponsible, selfish, or the "easy" solution. I don't think an abortion is any of those things. I think choosing to have an abortion can be a very difficult decision that nevertheless is responsible and unselfish.

 

[MouseWorshipin]

Those questions about what you WOULD do IF something happened are always so hard...How do you know?

I'd be devastated if one of the kids was about to become a parent. I never cry (not a cry-er!), but how could you not? A pregnant teen has a very hard road ahead.

I can totally see myself screaming at them, too. But, who knows?

Eventually, I'd roll up my sleeves and get ready to teach them how to be a good parent.

...but I suppose there are worse things than a beautiful new baby to love!

 

[suzannen]

Me too. I would explain all the options, but I would encourage an abortion.

This is what I would do also.