What to do in Disney when your husband hates Disney....

[cabanafrau]

I think parenting is also teaching junior that his wants don’t always trump Mom’s or Dad’s. They need to learn to compromise too. When kids don’t learn compromise, they become entitled.

AMEN!

 

[LSUmiss]

Sounds like your father and husband have been dragged around a lot to places they'd rather not be. It's kind of a sad, controlled way to live life, I think. There's nothing wrong with the mom going to Disney or anywhere else with the children who want to go.

I don’t have to “drag” DH anywhere. His favorite place to be is with his family so whatever that is which is the same for me. This was the same for my dad even when we got to be adults. Now, different from Op, we discuss plans before we tell DS anything. I thought it sounded like OP’s DH backed out of something that was agreed upon already since the kids know. But, I don’t know that.

 

[neverlandsky]

Well my kids are 6 years apart and different sexes. He stars and heavens have to align for everyone to say yes to something. So at times someone won’t go or someone will go and not be happy about it. But if i waited for all yeses all the time we wouldn’t get crap done.

((((HUGS)))) My kids are only 23 months apart so things are a bit easier in that department. Not going to lie, all our us in our family are guilty where we've made bargains and compromises to get a yes from a hold out whether it be an adult or child. In the end, we rather do things as a family because we get so little time with all of us together.

 

[cabanafrau]

We loved it too. The movie kept making my daughter and I cry. It was just so emotional.

Michelle Williams surprised me -- I think that's her name -- Charity. Would not have guessed the role was in her wheelhouse.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

My wants do not trump my DS’s needs.

No, but your wants can certainly trump his wants.

 

[Wubar]

I think parenting is also teaching junior that his wants don’t always trump Mom’s or Dad’s. They need to learn to compromise too. When kids don’t learn compromise, they become entitled.

Completely agree. I think it's great when parents want to give their kids the world. But when those kids grow up and expect everyone else to give them the world as well? Inflated self-entitlement.

"Parents should give their kids two things - roots and wings."

 

[Gumbo4x4]

What if he's truly disappointed they don't want to spend all day at a Nascar race he absolutely loves? He may genuinely want to share that experience with them and be very disappointed they choose not to be there. He can go without them, but what if one of his deepest wishes is to share that experience with them? Because he's an adult is it acceptable to simply write his wish off?

As a father of only girls, I get it.

 

[cabanafrau]

I’m not talking about vacation anymore. That post was in response to another. My wants do not trump my DS’s needs. That’s not spoiling IMO, that’s parenting.

But you've premised it upon the children NEEDING their father to go to Disney with them. If they truly NEED their dad to enjoy their vacation, surely they will be invested in selecting a destination all are interested in.

 

[LSUmiss]

A grown man should not be controlled by his wife and kids and a grown man should have a say in his own vacation time.

He can have a say & shouldn’t be made to go. But I would still say it’s selfish that he doesn’t want to of his kids want him there. Op didn’t say he wants to go somewhere else. She said he wants them to go alone.

 

[mjkacmom]

I’m not talking about vacation anymore. That post was in response to another. My wants do not trump my DS’s needs. That’s not spoiling IMO, that’s parenting.

My my needs trump my kids’ wants. It’s a balance. There are those parents who never go to games, and those parents who wast her every high school practice. There are parents who don’t go see their kids in performances, and those that watch every single show, even if their kid is on the stage crew (like my friend, with an only). Most parents fall somewhere in between.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I don’t have to “drag” DH anywhere. His favorite place to be is with his family so whatever that is which is the same for me. This was the same for my dad even when we got to be adults. Now, different from Op, we discuss plans before we tell DS anything. I thought it sounded like OP’s DH backed out of something that was agreed upon already since the kids know. But, I don’t know that.

Well you did say your husband and father would go to places and do things they didn't want to do - for the family. I'm sure the OP's husband has gone many places he didn't want to go. He's already gone to Disney and decided he didn't like it and it's going back. Kudos for Dad for taking his family to Disney once and being strong enough to tell the wife and kids that he's not interesting in going again but giving his blessings for them to go back.

 

[LSUmiss]

What if he's truly disappointed they don't want to spend all day at a Nascar race he absolutely loves? He may genuinely want to share that experience with them and be very disappointed they choose not to be there. He can go without them, but what if one of his deepest wishes is to share that experience with them? Because he's an adult is it acceptable to simply write his wish off?

Op didn’t say that. I think that would be fine to compromise. I think it’s selfish that they want to be with him & he can’t get over himself enough to be somewhere he doesn’t like. If they’re talking about all going to a different destination instead that’s different. Op said they were going alone.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

My my needs trump my kids’ wants. It’s a balance. There are those parents who never go to games, and those parents who wast her every high school practice. There are parents who don’t go see their kids in performances, and those that watch every single show, even if their kid is on the stage crew (like my friend, with an only). Most parents fall somewhere in between.

Don't tell anyone but my husband and I used to flip a coin to determine which one had to go and watch my some of son's band concerts.

 

[LSUmiss]

But you've premised it upon the children NEEDING their father to go to Disney with them. If they truly NEED their dad to enjoy their vacation, surely they will be invested in selecting a destination all are interested in.

I didn’t say they need their father in WDW. I think it’s a need that they want to be with their father. No one ever said that going somewhere else was an option. Op said they were going alone.

 

[cabanafrau]

As a father of only girls, I get it.

I merely selected Nascar because OP's husband likes cars. We only have girls here too. Gender isn't a guarantee of a shared interest either. My husband never enjoyed hunting or fishing despite growing up with a father who loved both. My husband wound up with daughters who danced for years. He wound up working stage crew for years. He ended up having a lot of fun, even if he would have rather have been home brewing beer.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

I didn’t say they need their father in WDW. I think it’s a need that they want to be with their father. No one ever said that going somewhere else was an option. Op said they were going alone.

Why is it a need for these "kids" to go on vacation with their father? That sounds ridiculous, entitled and spoiled and controlling.

 

[LSUmiss]

Well you did say your husband and father would go to places and do things they didn't want to do - for the family. I'm sure the OP's husband has gone many places he didn't want to go. He's already gone to Disney and decided he didn't like it and it's going back. Kudos for Dad for taking his family to Disney once and being strong enough to tell the wife and kids that he's not interesting in going again but giving his blessings for them to go back.

But I don’t have any to drag anyone. We both go to things we don’t love.

 

[AnnaFloridaLover]

But I don’t have any to drag anyone. We both go to things we don’t love.

Do you both go to things you hate?

 

[cabanafrau]

He can have a say & shouldn’t be made to go. But I would still say it’s selfish that he doesn’t want to of his kids want him there. Op didn’t say he wants to go somewhere else. She said he wants them to go alone.

Op didn’t say that. I think that would be fine to compromise. I think it’s selfish that they want to be with him & he can’t get over himself enough to be somewhere he doesn’t like. If they’re talking about all going to a different destination instead that’s different. Op said they were going alone.

It's curious how you're demarcating what OP didn't say -- all the while making assumptions about things also not said.

 

[LSUmiss]

Why is it a need for these "kids" to go on vacation with their father? That sounds ridiculous, entitled and spoiled and controlling.

I just think it’s selfish for the father to rather stay home alone than not want to be with his family. However you want to categorize it. If they’re discussing going somewhere else so the whole family can be together then great. But that’s not what op said.