What is the thought process here?

[xoprincessmomxo]

Not the best choice of attire, but forgiveable if it was clean! Sometimes it's easy to get hungup on such little things in such a materialistic society....

 

[LaraK]

Way OT (but I started this thread so I guess I can go on a tangent), but what the heck is your uncle doing having a third child when they live in the projects and have the potential of not being able to feed their family???

Giving me another cousin. Pretty sure he's not the only person who's gotten his wife pregnant while poor. Those silly poor people do that you know...procreate I mean.

I still loved him, believe it or not. I guess I should have thrown his jeans wearing, project living self out of my family....but I thought I'd keep him around since he changed my diapers and loved me my whole life.

I would not wear jeans to someone's wedding, but then I have a closet full of nice things. In fact, I usually buy something new if I have the excuse of a wedding I'm going to. That said, I still don't care if someone else doesn't have what I have.

 

[BelleWDW]

Probably not appropriate for a country club wedding, of course, I have family who don't own anything other than jeans....which is why I had my reception in a fire hall. My friends and husband's family were quite appalled, but I'd rather have my relatives (who couldn't afford to go out and buy clothes just for my wedding) come than be uncomfortable with a dress code. .

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?

 

[declansdad]

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?

and the judgmental posts keep coming.

 

[LUVMYTINK]

Probably not appropriate for a country club wedding, of course, I have family who don't own anything other than jeans....which is why I had my reception in a fire hall. My friends and husband's family were quite appalled, but I'd rather have my relatives (who couldn't afford to go out and buy clothes just for my wedding) come than be uncomfortable with a dress code. So to whoever said jeans are never appropriate for a wedding, I respectfully disagree. Weddings are about the celebration of a sacrament with friends and family, not a fashion show or society outing in my mind.

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?

I would have loved to have my reception around fire engines
I know my DH wouldn't complain

 

[Tink_Or_Belle]

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?

no idea where she lives BUT in our small town (a few hundred people) the community room ,where lots of receptions are held, is in the same building as the fire engines and 2 rescue units and the one town police car around here it is a suprise when there are no fire trucks at the reception it means the recption is in a different town

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?

 

[FireDancer]

To those of you that say it doesn't matter what you wear but only that you are there, I challenge you to show up at the next wedding or party you are invited to in your swimsuit and flipflops. Even better, show up in a thong and pasties (sans pasties if you are male). After all, if it doesn't matter then it doesn't matter if it is a thong and pasties.

I believe you have misunderstood the point, at least mine. I didn't say I would wear jeans, a flannel shirt, flip flops, shorts, or anything else to a wedding. I said I don't care what anyone else would wear. I wouldn't wear any of those things because I would choose not to. It is a choice and the whole point of having free will is to come to the choice we feel is appropriate, even if it is different than mine. There are many things I wouldn't do but that doesn't mean other people shouldn't. I wouldn't go see a movie about vampires and teen angst but there are many people who do, and I don't care.

If someone asked if I would wear jeans to a wedding I would say no. If that same person asked if someone else should wear jeans I would say it is up to them, I don't care either way.

 

[It's A Happy Day]

You receive an invitation to a wedding being held at a country club. Your choice of attire is faded blue jeans, and untucked shirt, and tennis shoes. Is this considered appropriate for this occasion?

I believe this was the original question and logical reasons why a person would or would not show up in this attire were given.

Unfortunately the original post did not give enough information for any of us to judge that denim clad person....was the person traveling all day and missing his luggage, did the person talk to the bride/groom to see if his attire would be a problem, did the invitation specify formal attire only, does the country club require a special attire as many do not if you are just renting the space vs. belonging to the club, did the person just have poor manners, etc. & so on. Would I show up at a wedding reception in jeans.....well I did and I encourged my guests to as well....and no it wasn't in a barn

Unfortunately some people feel the need to validate themselves and show the world that they are a classy upscale people by forcing their beliefs on others and that there are never any other options or reasons other than their self righteous beliefs. I know if given the option of wearing my jeans or others Ralph LOREN attire....I'd take my jeans anyday and my family would just be glad I came

 

[Becky2005]

Nope, Illinois!!!

I was going to add what I had to wear to a wedding of my DH's cousin when I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant with baby #3 and I wasn't going to go buy new maternity dress for the wedding -- I also did end up in gym shoes because well...nothing else fit my feet. I wasn't going to go buy shoes for 1 day that I wouldn't wear again after the baby was born because they would be 3 sizes to big. I was basically in a navy stretch outfit that by no means was dressy, it was more like work-out pant material & I felt bad because it was a dark color but I've gotten over that.

The last wedding I went to everyone was basically in black or navy blue.

I laughed when I saw Illinois!

 

[kelly1218]

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?

That was just rude.

Around here, some of our halls that house fire engines are more expensive, and decorated nicer than the crappy Knight of Columbus hall (which has ANOTHER fine for too many roaches on the premises~I didn't know that any were acceptable)

They do remove the engines, and make the hall look gorgeous.

The KoC hall had ripped stained chairs, broken tables that wobbled. And someone had to guard the door since it was broken. (this was a cousins wedding last year)

The fire hall~this past summer, even had safer parking.



My BIL was supposed to attend my wedding, since he lived on St. Thomas, and was flying in the morning of the wedding, we told him to show in his jeans, sandals, and Tshirt.
Unfortunately, he wasn't able to make it. (due to weather and flights)

I would have rather had him there in his jeans instead of sitting alone at the airport.

 

[barkley]

Darn right! That's your job!

I cannot believe that with all the dire scenarios presented (extreme poverty, lost luggage) no one has mentioned the old DIS standby: hidden disability. I'll go with that.

By the way, I think that lost luggage scenario is a poor excuse. In "My Cousin Vinny" Vincent Gambino's suit fell in the mud. Even Vinny, stuck in podunk Alabama, was able to find a Colonel Sanders suit in a second hand store to wear to court. If Vinny could do it, the jeans clad wedding guest sure could.

um-that's a movie-as in fantasy/fiction-not based in reality.

the reality in the region we live in is-if you were to arrive at the international airport nearest our home (spokane but not in spokane 'proper') the nearest towns have no second hand stores, goodwill, or salvation army. the town we are in has only 2 stores that sell any type of clothing-JEANS and thermal long johns. in spokane 'proper', depending on the day, you might find a clothing store open till 5 or 9, or none at all.

when we lived in the napa valley which is known for country club and high end weddings, a traveler with lost luggage could be even worse off. if the traveler arrived in angwin they would find NO clothing stores. if they arrived in st. helena, yountville or calistoga so long as they arrived before 5 p.m. on certain days of the week they might find either insanely overpriced designer items or trashy wine themed t's and shorts, but otherwise little else (wedding rental wear or that aquired through thrift stores ala 'my cousin vinny' was only available multiple towns away at stores that closed even earlier in the day). in napa 'proper' the choices would again be limited to those stores open only until the early hours of the evenings-and those being primarily outlets featuring off season overpriced designer handbags, and boutique lingeree.

speaking as someone who traveled on buisness to lax where my luggage was lost the evening prior to an important presentation, despite my own and the hotel concierge's best efforts to locate a store for me to aquire appropriate attire during non retail hours-it may look easy squeezy in the movies or some d list reality show to pull off finding replacement clothing, but in the real world .-when the store closes, it's closed.

 

[kelly1218]

Ever hear of Goodwill?
Shirts-$5...slacks $7
I donate new and nearly new clothes to them all the time
And I'm talking Polo, Tommy Hilfiger, Ralph Loren

In fact afew weeks ago i gave them 10 coats/sportscoats because DH is a size smaller-and two of them were leather jackets

We don't have Goodwill within an hour's drive. And the used clothes shops we do have, they cost more than the clothes on sale.
Jeans are about $20-25 a pair!

the Ralph Loren might be that cheap if I could find it here.
But I'm sure the Ralph Lauren would cost more.

 

[kelly1218]

um-that's a movie-as in fantasy/fiction-not based in reality.

the reality in the region we live in is-if you were to arrive at the international airport nearest our home (spokane but not in spokane 'proper') the nearest towns have no second hand stores, goodwill, or salvation army. the town we are in has only 2 stores that sell any type of clothing-JEANS and thermal long johns. in spokane 'proper', depending on the day, you might find a clothing store open till 5 or 9, or none at all.

when we lived in the napa valley which is known for country club and high end weddings, a traveler with lost luggage could be even worse off. if the traveler arrived in angwin they would find NO clothing stores. if they arrived in st. helena, yountville or calistoga so long as they arrived before 5 p.m. on certain days of the week they might find either insanely overpriced designer items or trashy wine themed t's and shorts, but otherwise little else (wedding rental wear or that aquired through thrift stores ala 'my cousin vinny' was only available multiple towns away at stores that closed even earlier in the day). in napa 'proper' the choices would again be limited to those stores open only until the early hours of the evenings-and those being primarily outlets featuring off season overpriced designer handbags, and boutique lingeree.

speaking as someone who traveled on buisness to lax where my luggage was lost the evening prior to an important presentation, despite my own and the hotel concierge's best efforts to locate a store for me to aquire appropriate attire during non retail hours-it may look easy squeezy in the movies or some d list reality show to pull off finding replacement clothing, but in the real world .-when the store closes, it's closed.

So according to others, you should have just turned around and gone back home, I'm sure that would have been more acceptable than explaining the situation and apologizing to the people you were presenting too.

 

[terri01p]

 

[LaraK]

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?

You know.....when people try to get you to respond to intentional baiting and it doesn't work you like you want it to it can really be annoying huh?


BTW....my wedding ROCKED. It was one of five in my husband's family in one year. All were wonderful and just what the bride and groom wanted.....four in country clubs and one in a fire hall. While all were nice, it was the fire hall one where ever person there jammed all night and the families still talk about how much fun they had. We had green beer (St. Patrick's Day) and things like perogies on our buffet line....it was GREAT! I also paid for my wedding myself....not my parents. Call me crazy, but I believe in buying what you can afford. It's not about the money, it's about the attitude when you're planning a wedding.

It's interesting that this thread has taken the path it has. The Dis is an interesting place.

 

[Carly_Roach]

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?

and the judgmental posts keep coming.

Agreed. But consider the source.

I believe this was the original question and logical reasons why a person would or would not show up in this attire were given.

Unfortunately the original post did not give enough information for any of us to judge that denim clad person....

Unfortunately some people feel the need to validate themselves and show the world that they are a classy upscale people by forcing their beliefs on others and that there are never any other options or reasons other than their self righteous beliefs.

Exactly. What I want to know is this: did the bride and groom have a wonderful day? Nothing at all was said about that.

We all saw the question through the eyes of our own experiences. Some live life looking for others whom we can judge as beneath us. Others live life as a thrill ride where what others do or wear has no bearing on our own experiences because we're having far too much fun doing what we're doing to ever worry about whether or not other people are dressed appropriately.

I will say this: if I ever I allow what someone else is wearing to "cheapen" my own experience (whether it's a wedding, a fine dining establishment or a day at the beach), then I'll have given far too much control of my own happiness over to what other people are doing. Hopefully my DH will be there to remind me that what others do or wear is not what will be remembered 20 years from now. What will be remembered are the great times we had together.

If what others do or wear ever becomes an issue with me, then I would think that I deserve my own misery. After all, I was the one who gave the other person that much power over me in the first place. Eleanor Roosevelt had many quotes that say it best:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.

The Dis is an interesting place.

Indeed it is.

 

[luvsJack]

To those of you that say it doesn't matter what you wear but only that you are there, I challenge you to show up at the next wedding or party you are invited to in your swimsuit and flipflops. Even better, show up in a thong and pasties (sans pasties if you are male). After all, if it doesn't matter then it doesn't matter if it is a thong and pasties.

So we are using extremes to say that there are people who cannot afford nice clothes and you are not??

Somewhere back there, I said "within reason", I think. At least, I meant to. I said the tube top and the short shorts were a bit much. Anyway. There is a difference in a pair of jeans, a neat shirt (tucked if it is the kind of shirt that should be tucked--and its not just a style thing of keeping untucked) and decent shoes and what you are describing. No one said you should come to a wedding looking trashy or totally inappropriate for any type of event.

 

[BelleWDW]

That was just rude.

Around here, some of our halls that house fire engines are more expensive, and decorated nicer than the crappy Knight of Columbus hall (which has ANOTHER fine for too many roaches on the premises~I didn't know that any were acceptable)

They do remove the engines, and make the hall look gorgeous.

.

The things you learn on the DIS!

I have never heard of this-the fire stations here are bare bones garages...thus my confusion.

 

[wdwfan16]

I still think there are lots of options (with no dress code)-like a Knights of Columbus Hall-the church's hall...etc............rather than having your reception around fire engines?